Chapter Eleven

Harry cleaned his glasses on his shirt, replaced them, and looked around the cave they were all crammed into. It was still just a cave.

"Why are we here?" grumbled Will. "I'm tired."

"Hey, Harry," called Ron, reaching into his bag and throwing the recently purchased cobra, "think quick!"

"Huh?" said Harry, turning around and snatching the snake out of the air.

"I'll kill you all, bitches!" hissed the snake.

"Sorry," hissed Harry, holding the snake so it couldn't fulfill its threat, "I didn't mean to catch you so hard."

"Louise," asked Fred, "what are you looking for?"

Louise stuck her finger into a small hole in the side of the cave and grinned.

George shrugged as she began yelling at the rock in a language none present could understand.

"Is she meant to be on any kind of medication?" whispered Sirius.

Rachel opened her mouth to answer, but before she could, part of the cave disappeared, and a pathway into the void became visible.

Louise giggled happily.

"Follow me everybody," she said, "we're going to meet my creator!"

"Louise," said Remus, "are you sure this is safe?"

"Don't worry chaps," she replied, "this'll be fun."

"Will there be sweets?" asked Fornax.

Louise shrugged.

"You'll get to see frogs that swear," she said, and, with that, walked into the dark passage.

Harry walked forward, the cobra now sitting on his shoulder.

"What are you doing?" hissed Snape.

Harry shrugged.

"I'm a Gryffindor. Walking blindly into unknown circumstances is what we do. Plus," he added, "it's not like Louise would ever lead us somewhere dangerous."

Rachel raised her hand.

"Did I ever tell you about the time we were in Mongolia?" she asked.

"HURRY UP!" came Louise's voice from the depths of the inky blackness. "WE'RE GOING TO MISS OUR FLARE!"

Snape sighed, but, nonetheless, the entire group stepped forward to follow Louise into the unknown.

***

"Took you long enough," said Louise, as the group emerged into a brightly lit area that looked vaguely like a tube station, "Burl here is giving us a free run to Haven."

The diminutive bearded figure she was gesturing to grumbled.

"Stop complaining," grinned Louise, "I did too give you a choice. It's not my fault you're not lava-proof."

"Louise," said Remus, "will you please tell us what's going on?"

Louise nodded.

"Sure," she said, "when we get there. Now, everybody in the shuttle! I haven't flown one of these in ages!"

Hermione looked at the bus-sized silver contraption and gulped.

Ron patted her on the shoulder.

"Don't worry," he said, "if we die, so will Harry."

***

Once everyone was in the pod and had strapped themselves in, Louise easily adjusted the control board and fitted the provided helmet onto her head.

"Alrighty, Burl," she called, "let's see how good my training was!"

The pod leaped forward at an almighty speed, running off the edge of the platform and plunging downward into a chasm deeper than any of the wizards had ever seen.

Harry gulped as he caught a glimpse of a pulsing pool of magma below them and attempted not to think about how it would feel to be burnt to a crisp. Sitting next to him, Ron was attempting to picture Harry burning to a crisp. Ron sighed happily.

Louise whooped with exhilaration.

"Fins!" she exclaimed joyfully, and the other occupants of the pod sighed in relief as their ride smoothed out.

"I refuse to ever endure the sensation of being lead to my death by an insane person ever again," said Severus.

"I threw up," moaned Caelum.

"Louise," sighed Remus, as Sirius scorgified the floor.

"Oh, yes," she replied, "well, I just remembered that I was made to forget a lot of stuff by Foaly, even though he said he wouldn't, and so we're going to go back and make him make me remember the things I remember that I forgot because then I'll remember where Rachel's soul is, and then we can go back to school."

Hermione looked blissfully happy for one short moment, but then her face fell.

"But what," she said, "if this Foaly person refuses to do that?"

Louise shook her head confidently.

"He was the one who biologically engineered me," she said, "he wouldn't say no."

***

"No," said Foaly.

Louise frowned.

"Come off it, Foaly," she said, "like you don't owe me for mind-wiping me in the first place."

Rachel's eyes crossed and she began to hum.

"That wasn't my decision," retorted the centaur, "and you forfeited anything I owed you when you forced your way into headquarters, nay, into MY OPS ROOM, with 16 mud-men, a cat, and a snake!"

"I was I knew what was going on," sighed Harry.

"I'll tell you what's going on!" said Foaly. "The Boss thought it would be a great idea if we had an agent that could blend in with the mud-men –"

"That's you," added Louise helpfully.

"- so they got me to combine Holly's DNA with Artemis', something he didn't readily agree to by the way, and create a new agent."

"Me," said Louise.

"Yes," sighed Foaly, "but the experiment was a failure –"

"For Frond's Sake!" burst Louise. "Are you People still sore about what happened in Mexico? That could have happened to anyone!"

"- and after several close encounters with the exposure of our entire civilization to the mud-men, they decided to mind-wipe you –"

"And Rachel!" interrupted Louise. "And everytime you say that word she forgets something!"

"What word?" asked Foaly. "Mind-wipe?"

"What's this?" asked Rachel.

"I'm a cat," said Hank.

"And then," continued Foaly. "they sent you were they though you couldn't do any damage."

"Yeah," huffed Louise, "the past."

"Weren't you worried she would change the past?" asked Hermione.

"No," said Foaly, "if it's already happened then how could she change it?"

"Nice to know you all still think so highly of me," muttered Louise. "Failed experiment."

Foaly sighed.

"I am so unappreciated," he muttered. "I gave you life, you know."

Louise crossed her arms angrily.

"But you won't give me back my memories," she pouted.

Foaly shook his head.

Louise flung herself to the ground and wrapped her arms around on the centaur's legs.

"PLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE," she entreated.

"No," said Foaly, "get up and stop acting like mud-spawn!"

Louise took a deep breath.

"PPPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Rachel," said Foaly, "get her off me."

But Rachel just hummed happily as she wiggled her fingers in front of her face.

Foaly turned to the others.

"Are you going to help?"

"Nope," said Hermione, "we're not getting involved in this."

"I'll call your dad!" said Foaly to Louise threateningly.

Louise just tightened her grip and continued to plead.

Foaly pulled himself and the girl attached to his leg over to his workstation and began tapping franticallu at the keyboard.

A loud ringing sound filled the room and soon the face of a pale, raven-haired man appeared on the screen.

"Foaly," he said evenly. "I was in a meeting."

"Fowl," said Foaly, "I need you to get your offspring off me."

The man raised an eyebrow.

"I cannot see my offspring, as you put it, anywhere near you."

In response, Foaly pointed the communication screen towards the ground.

"Ah," said the man.

"Hi, Daddy," beamed Louise, "I went into total recall – but it wasn't much like the movie."

The man sighed.

"Louise," he said, "why are you holding Foaly's leg?"

"Well," said Louise, "my total recall wasn't totally total and Rachel has no recall and Foaly won't un-wipe us, so I have been forced to take extreme action."

The man sighed again.

"That's my dad," said Louise to her friends, "his name is Artemis Fowl."

"Wasn't that the name of the Seventh Year Exchange Student that we had last year?" asked Remus.

Louise nodded.

"Makes sense," said Harry.

"Foaly," said Artemis, "is there any possibility of undoing their mind-wipes?"

Rachel giggled and poked Severus' hair.

"It's so shiny!"

Severus sighed.

"I'd appreciate having my wife returned to normal," he snarked.

Foaly looked at Snape, then Rachel, then Artemis, and then, finally, at Louise.

"Fine," he said, "I'll undo the wipe."

"Yay!" said Louise leaping up off the floor.

"YAY!" said the pup-kids, always ready for a resounding cheer.

Louise hugged Foaly tightly.

"Thanks, Foaly,"

"You owe me," he grumbled.

Louise beamed at Artemis.

"Thanks, Daddy."

Artemis nodded.

"Try not to get into much more trouble," he replied.

"Oh, Daddy," said Louise coyly, "since when do I get into trouble?"

The corner of Artemis' mouth twitched into what might have been a smile.

"You should visit," he said, "you haven't seen Art for a while."

Louise nodded and smiled at the screen.

"I'll owl you at break," she replied.

Artemis nodded at everyone in the room.

"Foaly," he said. "Others."

And, with that, he vanished from the screen.

Foaly sighed.

"Come on then," he said, "I'll get the machine set up."

Louise patted his back.

"I know you feel bad because more people have beaten your invention," she said, "so I'll send you a crate of carrots to make you feel better."

Foaly's ears appeared to prick up slightly.

"Throw in a bottle of beetle juice and I won't hold a grudge," he replied.

***

A/N Sorry, guys, I know it's been a while. I've been pretty busy lately, but I'll update when I can. Although, reviews do make me want to update more (hint, hint, nudge, nudge) ;)