Chapter Twelve
"So," said Hermione, when they were finally all back on the surface, "do you remember where Rachel's soul is now?"
Louise grinned.
"Yup,"
"Oh, good," said Will, "now we can have a proper holiday."
"We're not on holiday," replied Hermione.
"Where is it?" asked Fred. "The soul, I mean."
Louise pulled the necklace she had taken from the Egyptian marketplace out of her pocket and pressed her thumb against the pendant.
"I want one!" cried Lynx, as the pendant opened to reveal a tiny hiding place.
"Lookit, Rachel!" said Louise, "it's your soul!"
The entire group leaned in to peer at the tiny smoke-like bat that sat nestled in Louise's palm.
"Awww," said Harry, "it's so cute!"
"Good," said Hermione, "now we've just got to figure out how to get it back into Rachel."
Rachel shrugged.
"I'm afraid I don't have any idea how to do that," she said, "I'm more about the removal."
Severus checked his watch.
"There's a large magical library in Cairo," he said, "it could be worth a visit."
The he saw Louise grin.
"Unless Miss Frost knows how to restore the soul?" he added.
Louise continued to grin as she took hold of Rachel's shoulder.
"What are you doing?" asked Rachel nervously.
And that was when Louise planted the palm of her free hand onto Rachel's forehead.
"Ow!" shouted Rachel. "Louise!"
Louise giggled and waved her hand in front of Rachel's eyes.
"Lookit," she said, "no soul!"
"Rachel," asked Remus, "what do you feel?"
"Apart from the throbbing pain in my head?" retorted Rachel. "I feel … kinda sparkly and bubbly."
"YAY!" said the pup-kids. "SPARKLY AND BUBBLY!"
"Now we can go back to school!" cheered Hermione.
The impromptu celebrations ceased.
Ron took the opportunity to push Harry into a large ant's nest.
***
"Welcome back!" beamed Dumbledore. "I trust you were successful?"
The group nodded.
"Any sign of the Dark Lord yet?" asked Harry.
"No," replied Dumbledore, "Colin Creevy has gone missing though."
"But has anyone been killed?" asked Will.
"No,"
"Tortured?'
"No,"
"Forced to act in a way differential to their usual personality?"
Dumbledore looked thoughtful.
Ron climbed on top of a large cupboard, leapt on to a ceiling beam, shimmed across until he was hanging upside down in the middle of the hall and started to unscrew the large chandelier that Harry was currently standing under.
"No," Dumbledore replied, "nobody comes to mind."
"Well," said Hermione, "in that case we should probably go and unpack. We'll need to be fresh and rested for tomorrow."
"Need any help carrying your bags up to your room, Hermione?" asked Harry eagerly.
"No, thankyou," she replied, "I can carry them. And Draco will help me unpack."
Harry appeared to deflate slightly as he picked up his trunk and started to trudge up the stairs to Gryffindor tower.
"Cheer up, Harry," said Fred as they climbed, "there's worse things than your best friend trying to hook in with the ex you still have feelings for."
"Oh, yeah?" asked Harry, "like what?"
Behind them, the chandelier smashed to the ground.
"Bollocks," muttered Ron.
***
"Ah," sighed Will happily, "I missed these feasts."
Beside him, Harry nodded miserably.
"Why the long face?" asked Seamus.
Harry sighed.
"Draco still doesn't want to go out with me."
"Hmmm," said Neville/Alex, "maybe you just need a new boyfriend."
Harry sighed again,
"HEY EVERYONE!" yelled Dean, standing on his seat to gather more attention, "WHO WANTS TO DATE HARRY?"
Approximetly ¾ of the students currently within the Hall stood up.
"ME!" shouted the crowd as one. "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
Harry looked over to where Draco sat eating his meal as nothing had occurred, and sighed, yet again.
"I'm going to bed," he muttered.
Dumbledore gave a Level Three eye twinkle as he watched Harry slump out of the Hall.
"Looks like Mr Potter could use some cheering up," he said quietly, as he steepled his fingers, " … it's time for … a party."
Severus groaned and hit his head against the staff table.
***
"Cheer up, Harry!" said George, throwing an arm around the other boy's shoulders, "we all know you're not really going to go to sleep, so why not come and play Truth or Dare with us?"
Harry shrugged.
"I don't really feel like it," he replied.
"Go on!" urged Fred. "We've got heaps of butterbeer –"
"Come on, Harry!" yelled Seamus from the Common Room. "Come get maggot!"
"- and if you don't," added George, "we won't tell you our brilliant plan that is practically guaranteed to make the ferret want you again."
Harry's eyes lit up.
"It's a deal!" he said, sticking out both of his hands.
"Bonus," said the Weasley twins in unison, taking a hand each and shaking with enthusiasm.
***
"So," slurred Harry," who's gonna dare me to kiss someone now?"
"I'll do that," giggled Dean, "I dare you to kiss … Voldemort!"
Louise spilt her drink as she laughed at the prospect.
"Taxi!" shouted Seamus.
"Too much to drink, love?" sniggered Neville/Alex.
Hermione sniffed disapprovingly.
"She's only drinking Unicorn Heavens!" crowed George.
"S'non-alcholic!" added Fred.
Louise giggled helplessly.
"It's the sugar," she explained between spurts of laughter.
Harry hiccupped loudly.
"Voldepants?" he questioned. "He's not bad now though."
"Still ugly," cackled Lavender.
"Like a caldron full!" chuckled Parvati.
"If Harry doesn't do it, can we tickle him?" asked Ron, holding up a large corkscrew, "with this?"
Harry staggered to his feet.
"I'm gonna do it," he announced, "s'no ticklin', Ron."
Ron's face fell, and he hugged the corkscrew tightly.
"Don't worry, Precious," he muttered, "one day we'll get the tickling …"
Harry attempted a jaunty wave, then he did a clumsy spin, and disappeared.
"YOU CAN'T DISAPPARATE ON HOGWARTS' GROUNDS!" shrieked Hermione, pulling her hair so hard that a few clumps came out in her clenched fists. "IT SAYS SO IN HOGWARTS: A HISTORY."
Louise stood up, giggled, and fell over again.
Seamus started snoring.
George yawned and downed the rest of his butterbeer.
"Let's go to bed," suggested Fred.
The drunken students gave lazy grunts of agreement before stumbling to any reasonably comfortable areas, and falling asleep.
Hermione looked at the clumps of hair she was still holding and shrugged.
"No point wasting good food," she muttered.
Dean threw up.
***
Harry yawned widely and stretched his arms.
"This bed is like a rock," he grumbled sleepily.
"It is a rock," replied a voice from nearby.
Harry opened his eyes and looked around.
"Huh," he replied, "so it is."
He looked over to where the voice had originated from.
"Tom!" he beamed. "Did I do my dare?"
"What dare?" asked the Dude-Formally-Known-As-The-Dark-Lord. "You apparated in here around midnight, threw-up, and then fell asleep."
"Explains the weird taste in my mouth," mused Harry as he aimed a mouth freshening charm at himself.
He stood up and brushed down his robed.
"Now, Tom," he said, "I'm going to kiss you."
Voldemort raised an eyebrow.
"I'm old enough to be your grandfather," he replied, "and I'm straight."
"Whew!" said Harry. "Aren't you in a minority! But I really do have to kiss you, otherwise Ron will hurt me."
Tom sighed.
"Fine, get it over with then."
Harry walked over to the other wizard, stood on his tiptoes, and gently kissed Voldemort on the cheek.
Voldemort opened one eye.
"That it?" he asked. "Are you done now?"
Harry nodded.
"Yup," he replied, "but where are we?"
Tom sighed.
"We're in a cell."
"A cell?" asked Harry. "A cell as in a prisoner type cell?"
"No," replied Tom sarcastically, "a cell as in a lovely little holiday in Greece type cell."
"No need to be snappy," muttered Harry. "I just woke up, you know."
Tom sighed.
"We're being help by the Dark Lord," he supplied.
"The new one?" asked Harry.
Voldemort opened his mouth to reply.
"It's ok," said Harry, "I get the sarcasm bit."
"And I had such a good line," muttered Tom.
"How'd the Dark Lord catch you anyway?" asked Harry. "I would have thought you'd be good at avoiding capture."
"I usually am," replied Voldemort, "but I got a postcard in the mail inviting me to a sci-fi convention and, well, here I am."
Harry shook his head sadly.
"The ol' sci-fi convention trick, ey?" he muttered. "We mustn't underestimate this Dark Lord."
"Any idea who it is?" asked Voldemort.
"Nope," replied Harry, "who else is in here?"
"Only some whiny little brat with a massive fringe," said Voldemort, "keeps trying to get the guards to let him go on Facebook."
Harry started.
"Oh my gosh!" he said. "It must be Colin! Dumbledore said he'd gone missing!"
"Harry?" called a voice from the next cell. "Is that, like, totally you?"
"Yeah, it is," replied Harry, "how'd they get you, Colin?"
Colin's heavy sigh echoed around the cells.
"Someone was selling a Panic!At The Disco limited edition ipod cover in the Hogwarts Herald," he replied, "but when I went to meet them in Hogmeade, they stunned me and brought me here."
"The Hogwarts Herald, ey?" mused Harry. "Interesting."
"Yeah, that's great," said Voldemort, "now how are we going to get out of here or not?"
Harry stroked his chin thoughtfully as he leaned against the cell door.
"Oooof," he said, as he fell to the ground.
"Amazing!" said Voldemort. "The door was unlocked!"
Harry rubbed his backside.
"You didn't think to check?"
Tom shrugged.
"I'm not really a hands-on type of evil genius …"
"Whatever," said Harry as he unlocked Colin's cell.
Colin flipped his fringe as he walked out of the cell. "I, like, knew you'd come for me," he said.
Harry nodded.
"Sure you did," he replied, "come on, let's go."
***
"Where are we now?" asked Harry.
"I looks like a pine plantation," replied Tom.
Harry looked at all the pine tree and nodded.
"Seems like a pretty good guess," he said, "and at least we're safer here."
Colin flipped his fringe.
Suddenly, one of the massive evergreens surrounding them shuddered, and fell, directly on top of Colin.
"OMG!" cried Harry. "Colin! Are you ok?!"
"I'm, like, squashed under, like, a pine tree," came the muffled reply, "the darkness is, like, closing in on me, it's, like, totally dark."
"I think we should take him to St Mungo's," suggested Tom.
"Alright," said Harry, "hang on, Colin, you'll be fine."
"There's a pine needle, like, poking my eye," replied Colin, "I'm totally, like, blogging about this when we get back."
Harry reached underneath the branches of the tree to grab Colin's ankle.
"We should be able to Apparate directly there," said Tom, reaching out for one of Colin's wrists.
"On three," said Harry.
"Like, three, already!" said Colin.
"Three," said Tom, and they vanished.
Mere seconds after their exit, a long, high scream echoed through the pine plantation – the Dark Lord had discovered their escape.
***