Chapter Sixteen

Harry trudged back up the hill to Hogwarts, his wand lighting his way along the path. He hadn't been able to find Ron, and so, had decided that a long walk would probably help him deal with all the confusion of the day.

He breathed in the cool night air and pondered where Ron could have run off to.

"I'm sure he'll turn up," he muttered.

Suddenly, he heard muted voices, coming from the bushes on the side of the path. Curious, Harry quietly made his way over towards the voices, his wand extended.

"Oh, Edward," said a high pitched female voice, "I love you so much!"

"I love you too, Bella," said a deep male voice, "but I'm dangerous."

"Huh?" muttered Harry as he edged closer.

"Oh, I know you would never hurt me, Edward!" continued the female voice. "Our love is too strong!"

"Our love is strong, Bella," said the male voice, "but I'm really very dangerous."

"Oh, Edward, we'll be together forever, won't we!"

"Yes, Bella, but I really am quite dangerous,"

"Oh, Edward, will you make me a vampire, like you are?"

"No, Bella, it's too dangerous,"

Harry scratched his head with his free hand.

"What?" he whispered to himself, and continued to inch forward.

"Oh, Edward, we could have sparkly vampire babies!"

"Oh, Bella, I love you so much, I can't resist you. I'll turn you into a vampire …"

"Oh, Edward!"

"Yes, Bella, but we have to be married first."

Silence reigned over the night. Harry moved a bit closer, and pushed aside the bushes blocking his view.

"What?" said the female voice, which, Harry could now see, belonged to a girl with dark brown hair and eyes.

"We have to get married first, Bella," said the pale boy opposite her, who seemed to sparkle slightly in Harry's wandlight.

The girl crossed her arms and huffed.

"Screw that," she said, "I'm going back to Jacob!"

The boy growled.

The girl tossed her hair and walked away.

Harry walked out of the bushes.

"What was all that about?" he muttered.

The boy turned to face him.

"Cedric!" gasped Harry.

"Er," said the boy, "… no,"

Harry held his wand higher.

"Hey, how come you sparkle like that?"

"It's the sign of a very dangerous supernatural creature,"

"Huh," said Harry, "right. Well, I'm going to leave now."

And he did just that.

Harry yawned as he made his way in to the Great Hall for breakfast.

"Hey, Hermione," he said, plopping down onto a bench.

"Good morning," replied Hermione, her nose buried in a thick tome.

"Have you seen Ron?"

"No," said Hermione, without looking up.

"He left the Buck's Night early last night," explained Harry, "and his bed doesn't look like it's been slept in."

"Hmm," hummed Hermione non-committedly.

"'Morning," muttered Will, sitting next to Harry and grabbing some toast.

"Hi, Will," said Harry, "where have you been recently?"

"Oh," said Will, "around."

"Makes sense," replied Harry.

At the Staff Table, Dumbledore stood up and spread his arms wide.

"Good morning, students! I've decided that learning is boring! So classes are cancelled, and we'll all be attending the wedding of Mr Fred Weasley, Mr George Weasley and Ms. Louise Frost!"

The Pupkids popped out from underneath the Staff Table.

"YAY! NO CLASSES!"

Dumbledore gave a Level Two Eye Twinkle.

"And we're leaving in five minutes!"

The Great Hall immediately filled with gossip and excited chatter.

Will gasped and dropped his toast.

"I don't have a thing to wear!" he moaned.

Hermione looked up from her book.

"What is everyone talking about?"

"We're going to Fred and George and Louise's wedding," said Will, "and we don't have time to change!"

"Oh," said Hermione, "well, by an amazing coincidence I've just read about a spell to transform your clothes, hair, and makeup!"

She stood up and waved her wand over herself, William, and Harry,

"Verto tela quod somes!" she incanted.

Harry looked down. His plain black school robes had been transformed into robes of the finest black silk, embroidered with dragons and phoenixes and edged with ancient runes telling of the first witches and wizards.

"Wow!" said William. "Hermione – you're amazing!"

Hermione blushed prettily and straightened her platinum and ruby necklace.

Harry looked at his friends - William was now dressed in silk black robes, like his own, but they were threaded with gold and silver silk so that the fabric seemed to shimmer and ripple; Hermione was dressed in a deep red dress with a sweetheart neckline that seemed fitted to her every curve, her hair smooth and shiny and falling in delicate curls that perfectly framed her finely boned face.

Harry continued to think of descriptive terms until Dumbledore cleared his throat.

"Everybody hold hands!" he commanded. "We'll be traveling to the wedding via the Power Of Love™!"

"YAY!" added the Pupkids. "THE POWER OF LOVE!"

Everyone in the Great Hall held the hands of their neighbours, and then, with a brilliant flash of pink light …

... they arrived in the field behind the Weasley's home.

"This is very exciting," said Hermione, "I've never been to a traditional incest marriage before! Let's sit up the front so we can see everything!"

Harry squeaked as she grabbed his and Will's hands and dragged them to their seats.

Once Harry was seated, he looked around. Across the aisle, Mrs Weasley was sobbing happily into a delicate lace handkerchief. He turned around to view the rest of the crowd, and wasn't that surprised to see as many red headed relatives as there was Hogwarts students.

"Hey," he whispered, as he thought of something, "where's Louise's family?"

"Over there," whispered Hermione in reply, pointing to a tall pale man with bright blue eyes, a little boy who seemed to be his exact copy, and a petite woman with short chestnut-coloured hair, "That's her father, brother, and mother."

"Oh," whispered Harry, "I thought they'd be … less normal looking."

"Shhh," said Will, "it's starting!"

Harry looked up to see Fred and George standing on the small stage in front of the crowd, looking eager and proud. Between them was a wrinkled woman with glittering brown eyes. She made a discrete signal with her left hand, and music started playing, seemingly from the air itself.

The crown drew in a breath as Louise began making her way down the aisle.

Harry thought Louise looked as nervous as she did beautiful, her jet black hair sleek and shiny, her figure displayed perfectly in a emerald green cocktail dress.

She reached the front of the crowd, and took a deep breath.

Fred and George beamed at her, and the little old woman cleared her throat.

"Oh!" quailed Mrs Weasley. "I'm so close to having grandchildren I can feel it!"

Louise shifted uncomfortably.

"Witches, Wizards, Elves, Muggles, and Guests," started the woman, "today we gather to witness the joining of three lives. Magical Twins such as Fred and George Weasley search their entire lives for a third to make their souls complete. In Louise Frost, they have found that missing piece."

"Louise," said Fred, "we love you –"

"We want to be with your forever, and have you bear our tiny redheaded babies," continued George.

"Fred, George," said Louise, "I … uh, I … I …."

The crowd held its collective breath.

"I can't do this!" wailed Louise.

"What!" gasped Mrs Weasley.

"I'm so sorry," said Louise, "but I'm not the marrying kind! And I don't want your children!"

"Louise," said George, his voice cracking.

"Please …" added Fred.

Louise shook her head sadly.

"I've got to go," she whispered.

Mrs Weasley howled in dismay as Louise turned and ran back down the aisle.

"Necro!" she yelled.

The crowd watched, stunned, as the air before her began to shift and twist. Suddenly, a tall man with jet black hair stood in front of Louise, where there had previously been no one.

"Hey," said the man, "you rang?"

"Necro," smiled Louise, "want to go on a quest? Like the good ol' days?"

Necro grinned.

"You just wanna see my sword," he said, but he took her hand anyway, and they disappeared with a flash.

"Well," said Hermione, "that was certainly interesting …"

Harry looked around at Fred and George, standing stunned at the alter, Mrs Weasley sobbing heavily, Rachel grinning and accepting money from Severus, Louise's father rolling his eyes and Dumbledore twinkling at everyone in sight.

"Is every wedding this strange?" he said aloud.

"Only the ones involving Louise," called Rachel.

"Oh," said Harry, "makes sense."

Harry sat in front of the fire in Gryffindor Tower and yawned contentedly.

"Another day finished," he murmured.

"Mmm hmm," said Hermione, once again engrossed in her book.

"Huh," said Harry, "I just remembered. Where's Ron?"

The portrait swung open.

"Here," grumbled Ron.

"Hello, Harry," added Luna, as she trailed in after Ron.

"Hi," said Harry, "why are you here? I thought students weren't allowed to go into Houses that they're not Sorted into."

"Don't be silly, Harry," said Hermione, "anyone can invite students from other Houses into Common Rooms, there is a charm to prevent them revealing the location to others."

"Oh," said Harry.

"It's in Hogwarts: A History," added Hermione.

"Luna is staying here," said Ron.

"We're together," smiled Luna, as she drifted over to an empty settee.

Hermione gaped.

"You can't move into another House just because you're dating!" she protested.

Ron sighed.

"Ok, look, after I left Fred and George's Buck's Night, I accidentally ran into the Forbidden Forest and … I got lost."

"Wow," said Luna, wide eyed, "this is so exciting! What happened next?"

Ron gave her a strange look.

"I ran into you,"

"Oooo," said Luna, seemingly entranced.

"Right, whatever," said Ron, "so we were going back to Hogwarts, and we stumbled into a Fairy Grove."

"A Fairy Grove!" said Hermione. "Now this is interesting! They're a very proud race, and renown for the strange and inventive ways that they seek revenge, so it pays to learn their convoluted customs to prevent accidental slights."

Ron scratched his head uncomfortably.

"Yeah, so, I kinda … insulted them …"

"Ron!" groaned Hermione.

Luna looked around the room happily.

"This room seems almost completely free of Yiggles!"

"Anyway," said Ron, "to keep this story short … they magically bound us together with a curse that won't break until we present them with our first born child."

Harry nodded.

"Makes sense," he said.

Suddenly, Snape burst into the room.

"Harry!" he snarked.

"Yip!" squeaked Harry.

Snape sank down onto a couch.

"Harry, I've got to tell you something very exciting and important,"

"Have you figured out how to defeat the Dark Lord?" asked Harry.

"No," said Snape, patting his knee. Harry sat on his father's knee.

"Where's William?" asked Snape.

"Here, Dad," replied Will, coming down the dormitory stairs.

Snape indicated that William should sit on his other knee. William did so.

"Boys," began Snape, "you're going to be big brothers."

Harry gasped.

"You did Mum, again?! How'd you convince James?"

Will screwed up his nose.

"Ew,"

Snape looked snapey.

"No," he said, "Rachel's pregnant."

"YAY!" interjected the Pupkids, crawling out from behind a tapestry. "PREGNANCY!"

Snape sighed.

"They've obviously never seen a vampire with mid-term cravings,"

A/N: Incredible - two chapters in as many days. Obviously something strange has happened to the space time continuum. Special thanks to the reviewers who suggested the cliches contained in this chapter, but every review is appreciated and treasured. Not that many cliches left to do now ... we're approaching the conclusion, people!