Broken Bells IV

I jumped to my feet and rushed up the stairs.

"Bella," I called frantically. "Bella, are you ok?"

I hurried into her room and staggered to a stop.

Bella was on the floor, her face ashen, eyes empty and her body limp.

"Bella?" I said loudly, rushing to her side. Cold dread seeped into my body. "Honey, did you fall?"

Bella didn't move. She stared straight ahead, her breathing coming out jagged.

"Bella, what's the matter? Bella, talk to me!"

Bella didn't move at all. She gazed on as though life had stopped meaning.

I thought she'd react when I lifted her up but it was like she didn't notice. I put her on her bed and took her shoes off. I got her jacket off and tucked her duvet around her tightly. I sat beside her, hoping she would say something.

"Bella, can you talk to me, please?" I didn't know what to do. "Do you want me to call Doctor Gerandy?"

Bella didn't answer. Her face looked torn. Her arms were wrapped around herself tight.

"Do you want something to eat?" I asked. "Would you like me to get you anything?"

She didn't say anything.

I got off the bed. As I turned, something caught my eye on the floor.

I picked up the scrap book Renée had gifted Bella with for her eighteenth. I flicked through and saw pictures of her truck, some friends and one of me and her. My brows furrowed in confusion: I remembered her taking pictures of Edward. I'd taken a picture of the two of them myself.

I flicked back to the first picture frame that was empty. The caption read in Bella's handwriting:

Edward Cullen, Charlie's kitchen, Sept. 13th

I searched through the book again. There was another caption saying:

Charlie Swan & Edward Cullen, Charlie's front room, Sept 14th

But there was no picture.

The last picture should have been Bella and Edward as the caption said, right after the one of me and Bella, but the frame was empty. Had she gotten rid of the pictures of him?

I put the album on her desk and went back to her side.

"Honey, talk to me, please,"

She just stared straight ahead, curled up on her right, seeing nothing. Her face looked haunted. Her body was shaking violently so I tucked the duvet tighter around her.

I brushed her cheek with the back of my hand. "Bella, say something, anything," I pleaded in a whisper.

But she didn't. She stayed shaking and silent.

I stayed with her for a long while, hoping for some response. When I started to fall asleep, I decided to go to bed. "Bells, I'm gonna go to sleep. My doors gonna be open if you need anything," I rested my hand on her cheek for a moment. I considered giving her a heartbreak-speech-thing but… the violently hurt look on her face kept me from saying anything at all.

I rose from the bed but Bella gave no sign of notice. It was like she'd gone blind and deaf.

I left the room worriedly and fumbled around in the bathroom for a while. I changed and got into bed and meant to stay awake for a while, in case Bella needed me. But I fell asleep almost instantly.

When I woke up, I was hoping last night had been a dream. But I knew better then that.

I got out of bed and checked on Bella. I knocked on the door softly. When she didn't reply, I went in.

I started a little. Bella's eyes were open. She didn't look like she'd moved at all since I'd left her.

"Bella, honey, do you want some breakfast?" I asked.

She didn't reply. Her brown eyes gazed out: they were glassy. Panic washed into me.

"Bella?" I hurried to her and put my hand on her neck. I breathed with relief when I felt her pulse. Her skin was so cold though.

I brushed her hair back. "Bella, do you want to come downstairs and have something to eat?"

She was silent.

I froze. What if she'd turned mute?

"Do you want me to get you something?" I suggested eagerly. "I could make you toast or something?"

When she didn't say anything I told her I'd bring her breakfast up.

I made the toast nervously. I was very careful, making sure nothing burned and that the butter wasn't too thick or thinly spread. I poured her orange juice and got her water as well, put it all on a tray and headed upstairs carefully.

Bella just didn't do… anything. It was like she was only here in body. I knew she must be upset over Edward but the pain on her still face was so—there wasn't any words for how broken she looked. She'd had her arms wrapped around her ever since yesterday, like she was crippled. She was hunched inwards, eyes staring out to nothing. I suggested that she change into clean clothes— she was constantly shaking— she was still wearing what she'd been found in, but she didn't seem to care. It was like she'd lost the will to live.

I called Dr. Gerandy. He couldn't get through to her either. She shrunk away from him though when he got near her so I told him not to touch her. We went back downstairs and he told me he thought she was catatonic. She wasn't moving, eating and she didn't look like she'd slept. Her warm brown eyes were now empty.

I called Renée, desperate.

"Take the phone to her," she suggested. "Maybe she'll talk to me?"

I hoped badly she would. I knew Bells was closely bonded with her mom. Perhaps she'd open up to her.

"Bell, your mom's on the phone," I said, coming in slowly so as not to startle her.

Bella didn't move.

"Here you go, honey," I put the phone beside her and left the room, giving her some privacy.

I paced up and down my room, hoping she would talk to her mom. I'd been in my room all of five minutes when the phone rang. Maybe the line had gotten disconnected, so I stayed in my room. But it rang again so I hurried back to Bella's room.

The phone was exactly where I'd left it. So was Bella.

I picked up and hurried out of the room.

"Charlie, why isn't she talking?" Renée was hysterical.

"Hey, hey, calm down," I soothed her. "She must still be in shock."

"You don't think she's gone mute, has she?" she asked frantically.

I sighed raggedly, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I don't know, Renée. The doctor's saying she's catatonic…"

It took a long while to comfort Renée. At the end of the phone call, we both felt totally helpless. I promised to keep her updated. Renée wanted to come up here and I thought it was a good idea. She had to clear a few things with the school she was teaching at and would be here as soon as she could. I felt a little bit better, knowing support was coming, but only an ounce.

It looked like we needed a miracle to fix Bella.

The next four days were dark. There was no other word to describe Bella. She wasn't moving, eating or sleeping. There were dark circles under her dreary eyes. She stayed in that curled shape, holding herself. I begged her to at least drink something but she didn't answer at all. I wouldn't let Dr. Gerandy up to see her anymore: she always inched away from him.

I wasn't sure if she wanted me around her. But she didn't cringe away from me: she didn't do anything at all. I called Billy, asking him for help: had his daughters gone through this after break ups with their boyfriends? He'd said not like this. Yes, they'd cried for a couple of weeks, moped around for a while but were ok after a month or so.

I wondered why Bella hadn't cried yet: maybe I'd missed it. Perhaps she was in so much shock because the whole family had moved away, to L.A. It confused me; it made no sense why they would leave so suddenly. Bella and Edward had been so sure: I'd seen the way they looked at each other. And he was always so protective, caring, and so mature about her.

Questions and possible answers swirled around my head but nothing added up. A new feeling started to rise up in me at the thought of Edward. If I saw him again, I was going to kill him! I hated that boy with every ounce of blood in me.

Renée flew in on the weekend. I heard a car draw up outside and hurried to the door.

"Renée," I called through the rain, waving.

She paid the driver and hurried up the driveway quickly with a bag. Her short brown hair bounced, even though it was wet, as she came up.

"Charlie," she hugged me when she reached the porch.

I hugged her back with one arm and then took her bag.

"Where's Bella?" she asked, hanging her coat up quickly.

"She's in her room, as she's always been." I answered sadly.

Renée and I went upstairs.

"Bella, look who's here," I said as cheerfully as I could. I hoped to the heavens Renée could get through to our daughter. I certainly couldn't.

Bella didn't stir.

Renée looked at me: her face had turned white.

I rubbed her shoulder encouragingly. Bella had to react to her mother. She had to.

"Bella, honey, its mom," Renée said softly. She sat down on the bed, her hand brushing over Bella's face. "It's ok, honey. Mom's here."

I ducked out to give them privacy and went downstairs. I made some coffee for Renée and had a long drink of water. I didn't want to interrupt the girls so I went up quietly, listening for sounds of talk.

Just as I reached the landing, Renée was coming out of Bella's room. She had tears in her eyes. We went back downstairs and sat on the sofa.

"Charlie, I'm scared." She gulped, holding her coffee between her hands.

I sighed. "I don't know what to do."

"She wouldn't even look at me!" she said, wiping her eyes. "What did Edward do to her?"

My fists tightened at the sound of his name. "Dump her, as far as we know."

"Nothing else could have happened to her, could it?" Renée asked with eyes wide and fearful.

My stomach tightened. "We don't know. She's not saying anything. She told us she wasn't hurt and it looks like that, on the outside."

Renée bit her lip. "This is so unlike her."

"I'm sorry," I whispered sadly.

"What for?" she asked, confused.

I sighed. "Look at our daughter, Renée. Did anything like that ever happen when she was under your care?"

"Oh, Charlie," Renée put her cup down and came over to me, putting a comforting arm around my shoulder. "This isn't your fault. You couldn't stop Edward leaving Bella."

"But I don't understand why? Is he with someone else or what?"

"I don't know," she murmured. "I don't know."

"It's been five days and she hasn't moved, Renée. You'd think someone had died! Did you see her face, Renée? She looks so haunted, so… numb. And she doesn't stop shaking!"

Renée drew in a ragged breath and leaned back on the couch. I got off the sofa and started tidying up the place. I saw Renée's eyes linger over the old pictures of our wedding, Bella's early days. I would've put them away but… they were my memories of the best part of my life. I wasn't foolish enough to believe I could have it again, but I wanted to keep it there, to celebrate what I did have. Besides Bella and those pictures, my house was pretty empty.

"There was another reason why I wanted you to come…" I admitted after a while, sitting back next to Renée.

"You want me to take Bella home with me?" Renée guessed.

"How did you know?"

"You're easy to read, Charlie," she smiled but her eyes still stayed worried over our daughter.

"If she carries on like this," I mumbled, "if she doesn't start eating and sleeping… I don't want to hospitalize her, Renée. I don't want to do that to her."

It was silent for a long while.

"Will you take her home with you?" I asked.

"Charlie, you don't have to ask." Renée said solemnly.

"Good, I think… getting out of here will do her good. Leave this place behind, the memories, start again…"

"Have you tried contacting the Cullens?" she asked without hope.

I sighed through my teeth. "I've tried, Renée. But no one picks up at their house. I even had one of the guys at the station head down there but it was empty. The hospital has no information, not even the name of the hospital Carlisle is working at! All we know is that they've moved to Los Angeles, no town name, no street: nothing."

Renée sighed. "I hate seeing her like that. I never would've imagined…"

"I'm gonna go check on her. She has to be hungry."

"Let me fix her something,"

We went to the kitchen and Renée found some pasta and sauce. I was glad she'd decided not to experiment with what she could find, like she generally did. The things she'd rustled up with when we were together…

When Renée had fixed some normal lunch, we took it up to Bella.

"Bella, I made you some spaghetti." Renée said in a cautious voice. "Would you like some?"

Of course, Bella didn't answer. I was surprised she could be silent for so many days.

Renée put the tray down on her desk and sat down on the bed. I came forward too and stood beside her, one hand on her shoulder in support.

"Bella, we know you're hurting and we understand that but," she took a deep breath, "we're so worried Bella. We don't know what to do."

Could she even hear us? It really didn't seem like it. Her duvet was tucked around her, as I'd done last night. Her face looked ahead, towards the door. Her white face was… lifeless.

"Baby, I know you're hurting," Renée said, "and being here must make it worse so, that's why, your dad and I have decided that… you're coming home to Florida with me."

She didn't react an inch.

Renée looked up at me, biting her lip. What do we do? Her blue eyes asked.

I lead the way out into the hallway, closing Bella's door.

"When do you want to leave?" I asked her quietly. I hoped speaking quietly hid the uncomforting feeling in my body. I didn't like the idea of Bella leaving. I wanted to jump up and down like a hooligan when she told me she was coming to live with me. Sending Bella away with her mother made me feel sad, lonely and like a failure.

"Well, I'll book the earliest flights I can." Renée said sadly. "I think we should pack her bags now, though."

I sighed and a nasty feeling started snaking around my stomach. My temperature seemed to rise a little with discomfort. Bella was leaving.

I'd gotten over Renée in time but I'd grown so use to Bella being around. I didn't mind her going out, because I knew she was always coming back. I didn't like the thought of going back to my old life where there would be nobody to call out for when I got home. Bella leaving was going to make my life, not pointless because she was still alive but… life was going to be muted. But that didn't matter. Not if her leaving with her mother meant she would heal.