"It had to end sometime, cupcake…"

The countdown began: "In 5 – 4 – 3 – 2…"

"I'm not Carly!" said the Asian girl.

"And I'm not Sam!" said the freckled red head beside her.

Together they said: "But, this is still iCarly!"

The two teens hammed it up for the webcam as the new iCarly theme music played with the original web graphics for the show flying up on the screen and dissolving into a new web graphic. The music faded to the back ground and the graphic spun away. And it went on from there.

"So?"

Carly looked to her left, at the blonde standing beside her at the desktop monitor in the kitchen of the loft. She was trying to read Sam by studying her face. It was the first time that they were in the online audience of iCarly. She needed to know what her best friend was feeling. After all, she was surprisingly silent through the entire meeting that had decided the fate of their little web show.

Sam said nothing as she walked away from the monitor, into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator for a raiding mission.

Sighing, Carly followed after her and leaned against the kitchen counter as her friend rifled through the cold cabinet of food. And, although she was truly enjoying the view from this angle, satisfied in her choice of rather fitting khaki shorts for Sam to wear, she was distracted by this hollow feeling inside her. She needed to know what Sam was feeling and if she felt this emptiness, too.

"You're going ta over analyze this," Sam grumbled from inside the refrigerator. She emerged with a handful of ham wrapped in tinfoil, mayonnaise, and a stalk of celery. "I can tell."

Carly watched the blonde eating machine set the ham and jar of mayonnaise on the counter and turn to her holding the celery stalk. "No, I'm not…," Carly began…

Sam stared at her taller brunette over-thinking friend with a raised eyebrow. She didn't feel that she needed to say anything. She knew that anything she said at this point would be…well…pointless. There was no stopping Carly when she got going.

"Ok, yes I am," Carly said, quickly, exasperated. "Sam, it's over. Don't you feel anything?"

Maybe Sam should have been insulted by that remark, but this was her Carly and she knew that no insult would have been intended. She just smiled a humorless smile, really a movement of her lips in a mockery of a smile. "I feel like we made the right decision."

Carly wrinkled her brow and cocked her head to the side. "You do? But, you never said anything at the last meeting. When we decided to hand off iCarly to a new cast, you just sat there and said 'Whatev!'"

Sam stared at Carly for a couple of seconds. It took a moment for her to realize that they were talking about two different things. She let out a sigh of air and slowly flicked the celery stalk at Carly. She shook her head and looked down at the ham sitting on the open tinfoil on the counter. For a moment, Sam had almost lost her appetite. But, this was cold, thick slabs of juicy, mouthwatering piggy goodness that –

Someone snapped her fingers at Sam's face. Sam shot her head up again and stared at Carly. Oh, yeah, they were doing the feelings thing again.

"Sam," Carly said in almost a whisper. She was staring into Sam's eyes with a glassy look as tears began to form within the lid, spill over and begin their descent down Carly's perfect cheeks. In a rush, she moved into Sam, grabbing her in a tight hug, her face buried in Sam's neck and blond curls, sobbing.

Sam put her arms around Carly and held her close, rubbing her back slowly, stealing a look down at her poor, abandoned ham with longing.

After a time, Carly slowed to sniffles and took a step back from Sam, holding on to her waist and looking into her eyes, searching for something. Sam's hands had moved to her arms, holding her by the elbows. She had that disconnected look on her face, like she was someplace else. Carly looked down at the counter beside them, to the shiny tinfoil, to the slabs of meat upon it. She looked back up at Sam and shook her head. Only Sam.

"Eat your meat," Carly told her friend, breaking their connection and walking away toward the living room.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "It sounds dirty when you say it like that."

Carly stopped and spun half around at her hip, her long dark brown hair swinging over her face, her eyes half-lidded and her voice adopting a sultry tone: "Maybe I meant it dirty…"

Sam slowly flicked the stalk of celery at Carly: "Doooon't tease Mama…"

Carly came back to the opposite side of the counter and leaned into it, looking deeply into Sam's beautiful eyes. My God, they were beautiful. She was beautiful. She was perfect. And she made Carly feel like…

"Sammy, what happened to us?" was all Carly could manage.

Sam shrugged. "Nothing, Carls. We just grew up."

Carly frowned. Maybe Sam wasn't getting it. Maybe she wasn't saying it right. This never used to be a problem. "No, Sam. I mean us. You and me. You know?"

Sam sighed. "Carly, we tried that. Remember? We spent a year together. Secret rendezvous, private sleep overs, kisses in the dark. You were so afraid that someone would see us…" Sam let her voice trail off. She could already see where this was heading. They had traveled this way before and the path was already well beaten.

"Sam," Carly choked out. "Sam, I'm sorry. I'm just not ready to go public. I don't even know if that's what I am. I don't look at other girls like I look at you. Maybe it's our close friendship that makes me want you more. We've always been…"

"Different," Sam finished for her.

Carly nodded. "Yeah… But, in a good way."

"Face it, Carlotta. I'm your Tonto, your Hutch, your R2D2."

"I thought the sidekick was the gold robot?" Carly said.

"C3P0," Sam informed her friend. "Depends on your perspective…"

"I see you more as the wookie…" Carly smiled.

Sam gave her a deadpan look.

"Seriously, Sam," Carly continued. "I want us to go back to what we were."

"Can't go back, cupcake," Sam shook her head. "Only forward. You told me that."

Carly looked down and whispered, "Yeah, well, maybe I was wrong…" She looked back up at her best friend and possibly more. "Maybe we can try again…" she said, a glimmer of hope in her voice.

Sam looked down and let out some air. Not this again. "Carly, no. I don't want you in the shadows. I want you in the light. We aren't something to be ashamed of. Or afraid of."

"I'm just not ready to go public, Sam." Carly gave a slight smile. "Not yet. Not until I'm sure of what I am. I'm just not as certain as you."

Sam was tired of this. Maybe her voice didn't need to be so loud or so angry, but she was so tired of this circular argument: "Carly! Stop! I don't know what I am, either. Why are you so freakin' concerned about labels? Why do we have to be anything but together? Who cares what anyone else thinks?"

Tears were in Carly's eyes again. "I do!" she shouted back at Sam in frustration. Why could she not understand? People had expectations of her. Carly was the perfect girl. Perfect grades. Perfect future. She wasn't allowed to be anything else. She couldn't let anyone down. She was supposed to graduate from school, get married to a man and have children. She couldn't be gay. That wasn't in everyone else's plans.

Carly stood rigid with hands balled into fists on the counter, eyes shut tightly, trying to will Sam to understand.

"I don't!" Sam shouted back, hands into fists. She threw both hands up, flat to Carly as if telling her to stop. She took a deep breath to calm down. That was odd, her being the one to calm down. Her voice, when she spoke, was much calmer. "I can't do this anymore, Carly. I'm sorry. I can't."

Sam moved around the counter, slowed as she passed Carly who was staring blankly at the countertop, and continued toward the apartment door, grabbing her jacket on the way. She stopped at the door and turned to look at Carly one last time. Carly turned to face her.

"I know what I am and what I want," Sam said quietly. "You need to decide who runs your life, Carly. You need to decide what you want. Otherwise you'll never be happy."

"Sam…? Sammy?" There was confusion on Carly's face. She took a hesitant step forward. It felt like the bottom was falling out of her world. The look on Sam's face was sadness, disappointment. How can the person that means to most to her be disappointed in her? She was trying to do everything right. Everything everybody wanted her to do, to be. How could she fail to please the person she loved the most? But, how could she please everyone else and still make Sam happy? She pleaded: "Stay?"

"I can't help you with this, Carly," Sam said, sadly. She could feel the tears starting in her own eyes. "I need to move forward. I can't stay. I've already made my decision, cupcake. I'm sorry."

She opened the door and paused before leaving to say back: "Stay brune."

Carly watched the door slowly shut with Sam on the other side. She felt as if her legs had been amputated. The world grew misty and began to spin. She fell to her knees and buried her face in her hands, falling to the floor in tears and heaving sobs. In that moment, in that instant, she felt everything slipping away.

Sam's voice echoed in her head: "…it had to end sometime…"