Chapter 15

Understanding

"Fangtasia, the bloodiest place on earth."

"Pam! Thank god!"

"Sookie! How fairs our telepathic trouble maker?"

"That bad, huh? Is he there?"

"He is."

"I've messed up real bad, Pam."

"So I gather. Would you like to fill me in?"

"Oh it's nothing too serious, he just walked in on me kissing Bill while in bed."

Pam's silence spoke of the severity she had feared.

"Pam is he going to kill me?"

"He may be too distracted at the moment as he's in the middle of redecorating his office."

Sookie could hear the thumping dance music fade slightly and the creaking of an opening door. A loud crash exploded next to the phone and she could hear Eric grunting in the background.

"Well there goes another monitor. Our local Best Buy stays in business purely on the basis of my Master's temper. Perhaps I should buy stock."

"Pam! Food! Now!" Eric's voice boomed over the continuing sounds of wood snapping and glass shattering.

Sookie suddenly pictured Eric feeding from a slutty dressed fangbanger and gasped.

"Pam, I'm five minutes away, can you stall him? I can't stand the thought of him fee…"

"Not to fear my scrumptious friend. He has not yet weaned himself back onto breathers. Only drinks the bottled crap. But how could one eat ground beef once they've tasted fillet mignon?"

"Oh…OH! Gosh I had no idea! He hasn't been drinking proper meals because of me?"

"I've been told this is habit you have also developed. Surely by now, Sookie, you know my Master prefers a more…shapely woman."

"Pam I've already been scolded about that by Eric, Sam and Bill, thank you."

Again came the sound of the office door opening. "Your drink, Master." Pam had lowered the cell phone but Sookie could still hear their exchange.

"You know I only drink O fucking positive!"

"My apologies Master, we just ran out. I do believe a fresh shipment should be arriving…shortly."

She's teasing him now of all times! Does she have a death wish?

The door shut behind Pam and she sighed into Sookie's ear. "Though these games have been oodles of fun for me, my dear, do you not think it's time the two of you either kill each other or admit to lov…"

"I'm here. I'll see you in a minute."

"Come through the back, I'll meet you there."

Sookie closed her phone, stepped out from her car and made her way to the familiar employee entrance. The door swung open and a black latex covered Pam greeted her with a bright smile.

"I am very relieved you are here. He's already managed to scare away a couple dozen tourists."

"I had to come. I need him to understand that what he saw wasn't what it appeared to be."

"Yes. I believe your mutual…understanding…is long overdue."

Sookie followed Pam down the hall eventually stopping in front of Eric's office door. Pam placed her hand on the knob and turned to Sookie who was visibly shaking with fear. "You mean more to him than you can know." she meant the words and Sookie took comfort in them.

As Pam turned the knob and pushed the door open the destruction came into view. The room was darker than usual as the ceiling lights had been smashed. The only illumination came from an overturned lamp on the floor which was littered with papers and broken glass. The massive oak desk was on it's side and the shelves usually lining the wall were now in a pile of books and splintered wood . White stuffing oozed from the leather couch's shredded and torn cushions. It seemed the only survivor in the whole office was the large executive chair Eric quietly sat in with his back to them. Sookie stepped over the remains of his computer monitor and as she heard the door shut behind her she had to push down the building terror to take another step.

You can do this. Just make him see.

She rounded the left side of the chair and found his face staring straight ahead without a glimmer of emotion. Sookie stopped when she was directly in front of him and slowly lowered herself to both knees never once letting his eyes out of her gaze. Eric roused from his blank stare and looked down at her. After a minute or two they simultaneously opened their mouths to speak.

"Oh I'm sorry, you first." her voice came out nervous and unsteady.

Eric started again. "I want…these…" he lifted his left hand and gestured to his chest with clawed fingers "…these…emotions to cease. Feeling what I do for you has become more unpleasant than I ever imagined. I cannot…"

"Eric I'm so sorry I hurt you. You have to know I thought it was you! I thought it was you the whole time! I know I should have known it wasn't your lips and your hands on me but…"

"That is of no consequence now." he shook his head and let his hand drop down again. "You should be freed of this bond so you can choose whom you wish to spend your life with. I am preventing that and it is wrong. I see that clearly now."

"What are you sayin'?"

"I want to give you back what I never had a right to steal from you, Sookie. Your independence. It was never fair to think that you could live with this…to live with me as your bonded."

"It wasn't fair that we weren't given a choice on the matter but I do not regret what has grown between us, Eric! Do you?"

"My only regret is that I cannot be the man that you need…the man that you deserve."

Sookie pulled herself closer to him so she could place both hands, one atop the other, over his heart. The physical contact made his face twitch but she kept her hands firmly on his hard chest. "That man that I need and deserve…he's still right here. I believed that he was gone and I mourned for the Eric that I spent a few of the most blissful nights of my life with…but I now realize he never left. He's been here the whole time…watching over me…waiting for me."

Eric pushed back his chair, stood and strode away from her as the sensation of her unwavering stare and the softness of her touch made him feel dizzy.

She is not a vampire and yet she glamours me with ease.

Does he even still want me? Why does he shy away from my touch?

"Maybe this isn't really about me and MY feelings, Eric. Are you just tired of having an annoying human girl who hangs around your neck with unwanted obligations attached? If that's the case then I have it on good authority that this bond can be broken!" Sookie stood as she lashed the words at him. Eric spun around and regarded her with disbelief. "Yeah, Bill told me. There's someone in New Orleans that can end this for us!" she gestured back and forth between them with her index finger. She waited for a response but got nothing but a blank stare again. "Is that what you want?!" she marched towards him and grabbed onto his black teeshirt when she reached him. "You wanna be finally rid of me? So you can find a new pet? Something less damaged and complicated?" she felt the pressure of a lump forming at the back of her throat. There was movement to her left and she looked down to see what Eric held in his right hand. Something she hadn't noticed before. It was a large splinter of wood from the destroyed bookshelf. She snatched it from his hand and held it up to his face. "What the hell is this?" she shook it just under his nose and tears began to spill down. "What were you gonna do with this?" the blank stare he had given her now shifted into a look of hopeless desperation.

"I knew of no other way…to release you." his voice was laced with pitiful shame and it devastated her.

Neither of the Eric's I know would do this. How could he even consider it?! Unthinkable!

He lifted his left hand and placed it over his face as his head sagged. The halo of pale hair fell in curtains around his covered face.

Sookie threw the scrap of wood behind her and it smacked loudly against the facing wall. After releasing it she hissed with pain as a jagged edge of the wood sliced open her palm. Eric was immediately aware of her exposed blood and sniffed the air as he dropped his hand down. He grimaced and strode back over to his chair where a half empty bottle of True Blood still sat on the floor. Sookie could see his intention and as he lifted the bottle to his lips she pulled his arm away causing some of the synthetic drink to slosh out onto the floor.

"No…Sookie." his eyes were closed tight, fighting against the vampire inside now begging Eric to taste her…to drain her dry. He turned his head away from her direction knowing what she planned to do next. It took a bit of prying but she managed to wrench the bottle from his grip. She set the bottle down then reached up and stroked the side of his face with the fingertips of her wounded hand. He grabbed her wrist with both hands and pulled it away from him.

"Sookie, if this bond is to end…I should not taste your blood. It will only make this more painful…for me."

She yanked her wrist away in response to his words. "So that's your decision, then? You just wanna turn your back on me? It's that easy for you?!" more tears came and stung the corners of her eyelids. The sight of his beautifully angelic face was too painful so she turned around and dropped to her knees. The hard floor met her with force and she whimpered with the shock of pain that tore into her knees. The focus on this pain was short lived as she was suddenly enveloped by a solid vampire embrace. It took her breath away to be this close to him.

Eric clamped down around her upper body with his long arms that could almost wrap around her petite shoulders twice over. He cradled her back into the curve of his body and whispered softly but intensely into her ear. "I would say everything that has passed in my long life has been easy…save for this." He rocked back and forth slowly trying to comfort Sookie who was now sobbing uncontrollably. "I have survived many wars, both human and supernatural; I have managed to stay alive and in a position of power through countless coups and take-overs; I have escaped a multitude of captors fully intent on killing me. Yet all of those moments pale in comparison with the overwhelming terror you fill me with…my dreadful and beautiful Sookie. You are a force of nature and I am time and time again left reeling in your wake. The power you wield over me puts to shame my measly thousand years of existence." her weeping quieted down slightly and Eric lovingly kissed the crown of her golden head. "You talk of the Eric that you enjoyed those few nights with and it is true that he resides, as he always has, inside of me…but that was merely a thin layer of the Eric here with you now. I want you to know, without a shadow of a doubt, you will never be a burden or unwanted obligation to me, Sookie, but as Sheriff I do have obligations to my position as well as to the people who count on me and look to me for leadership. As foreign as our vampire customs and hierarchy is to you I take my job seriously. If I had kept my promise to you and left it all I would have been letting down many…"

"Eric, just stop. You don't have to explain why it is you don't wanna be with me. I understand. Your duties as Sheriff are more impor…"

"That is where you are wrong, lover. I do wish you would allow me to finish my sentences…especially when I am trying to tell you that even though I have a sense of commitment to the leadership and authority I've been given…I, even now with my full unadulterated memory in tact, would run away with you to the ends of the earth if that is what you truly wanted. I would not hesitate one moment if you asked this of me. Though it is terrifying and unsettling yielding my control and strength to you as your bonded…I cannot even imagine an existence without you here…tormenting me with your human stubbornness and beguiling me with your otherworldly beauty." Eric lifted a hand to stroke away the stray hairs sticking to her dried tears. "That being said…Sookie if you had chance to sever this bond and in doing so free yourself from the curse of…"

"It's not a curse, Eric! That's how I used to think of it but now…" Sookie lifted her hands and squeezed Eric's forearm and bent her head to kiss his bare skin. "I couldn't bare losing it…loosing you."

"Why, Sookie? Why do you feel this way?"

"I'll answer that question if you will." she snapped back at him quick as a tack.

Touché, lover. They are only words…just say it you damned fool! The novel length explanation I've given could be abridged down to three little harmless words. You would die for this woman and yet hesitate to do something so small…so trivial for her. Coward!

"Sookie…I…"

Sookie lifted up her hand and gasped at the sight of a small pool of blood now dripping through his baby-fine arm hair. "I will get you a bandage for that." Eric started to release her and she grasped tightly again onto his arm.

"No! Don't." The loosed grip allowed Sookie to rotate around so she could face her Viking now struggling again with his blood lust. "I can't imagine why a girl who is bonded to a handsome, powerful, thousand year old vampire would need a bandage…can you?" she gave him a sly grin and lifted her palm to him once again. He unwrapped one arm from around her and placed his enormous hand underneath her tiny one. "You're sure you do not want to consider this…other option…that Bill has given to you? You may change your m…"

"Eric…what I am totally sure about right now…is that I've finally realize how lucky I am to have a man who would lay down his life for me; who is prepared to sacrifice his privileged existence for me; a man who always knows what I need even before I do. Why would I ever want to rid myself of such a blessing?"

Blessing? Did she just call me a blessing? Fucking Christ, I do not deserve this angel before me!

"Just drink from me now and heal this wound as only you can." she practically moaned the words and he could tell the moan was not from any pain the cut may be causing her. She ached for his tongue to lap up her essence.

For fuck sake man! Does she really need to ask me a third time?

Eric lifted her hand closer to his mouth but hesitated to look into her eyes once more.

The words of Sookie's whispered plea sealed the fate they would now share, willingly and happily together "Please baby…I wanna be inside you."