Commit It to Memory
Author: Aiyami Sakura
Words:927
Chapter: Careless Whisper
Who knew being in love would be so complex. I couldn't decide if I wanted to kiss him or kill him. Come to think of it I could do both at one time. It wasn't his fault though. It's not like he knew I loved him. Loving Remy Le Beau from a distance was hard enough. Loving him with him knowing it would've probably been next to impossible as large as his ego is. You add to that the fact that I had plans to leave tonight and possibly never look back, it seemed kind of unfair to tell him that. But maybe I should? I'm still at war with myself over this. I only have a few more hours to decide though.
This is the only dance I've ever attended at Bayville High. My last year of school all together. The only reason I came at all was the pleading of Kitty and the fact that Rem agreed to come suffer with me. So I mustered up the courage, bought a dress, got pretty, took pictures, and here I am. None of them knew that I planned for this to be my last night with them for a while if not ever. As soon as we leave here I plan to ditch everyone, hop on my bike, and hit the highway. It's a long ride to Mississippi from here.
"Chere you ain't even paying attention to anything I'm sayin are you?"
"Huh"
"I asked if you wanted to leave. Don't seem to be having to much fun here," leave it to the cocky Cajun to see right through me trying to be patient. Just as I was getting ready to tell him yes, the music changed to something more my speed. Seether's Careless Whisper had become one of my favorite songs of recent.
"Let's dance first," the guy looked so shocked I thought he would pass out for a minute but in true Remy fashion, he was quick to recover. I wanted this one dance to take as my own memory with me.
"Anything for the lady."
Remy lead me to the dance floor quietly. I guess he was trying to be sure I didn't change my mind. I could feel the stares and here the whispers as we walked to the most empty part of the dance floor. It was hard enough for the rest of the student population to believe that I, Rogue , was here. It was next to incredible that I had a date with me. But the buzz that started when we moved to dance almost made me reconsider my decision. The room seemed to stand still, but I put my focus back on myself and Remy. He gently pulled me into his arms just as Shun Morgan began to sing. I took in the scent of Remy and tried to block out everything else as we began to sway with one another while he sang softly in my ear.
I tried to get everything in my head just so, like I had been doing all day. I didn't want to forget any of them. I may have still been very stand-offish with them all, but I had grown fond of them all. I knew being alone again would be hard, but I believe my memories will be enough to sustain me. I needed this memory more than all the rest though. With this one, I can at least pretend that I was loved. Loved like everyone else would get the opportunity to be.
I shut off all thoughts and focused on the feel of Remy's hands on my lower back as we swayed gently to the music. The smell of cigarettes, cloves, and the bourbon that he wasn't really suppose to have and that smell that was just him. The way his voice sounded so perfect to me as he continued to sing as if no one else were here in the room with us. I so desperately wished he did love me like I love him but it's not possible. Even if he were to tell me right this second that he did I probably wouldn't believe him. I had to keep reminding myself the King of Hearts never settles. Especially for a half-crazy, untouchable girl with no control over her own mind. Even though he'd spent half the night turning away half the pretty girls from the school and just sat at the table with me and joked around with whoever was there at the table with us. All it took was one look without those glasses and it kept the other half of them at bay.
I closed my eyes and pretended this never had to end. In my mind and my heart it never would but soon enough the song faded and switched to some crap that made me think my ears would bleed.
"You ready to Cherie?"
"As ready as I'll ever be," I said with a sigh.
"You sure…"before he could finish, I had an answer for him.
"Yeah Remy, as ready as I'll ever be," he didn't know the souble meaning behind the conversation and I had no intention at all in telling him. He'd find out in the morning just like everyone else. I wouldn't tell him my feelings. I couldn't. I'd simply hold on to this night. The memory of him with me, the feel of him holding me, I'd remember it all. But I had business that I couldn't let go even if it meant I never saw him again.