Chapter 20

A Good Man

She didn't hear his denial. The words just didn't process. This was something Eric had wanted more than anything. Something he would never dream of denying her. Finally she would have the strength to endure within this chaotic mess of a world. And finally she could give something back of worth to her bonded. The idea of giving up her humanity was suddenly the most brilliant thought she had ever possessed.

"Baby, please.

Eric could feel her submit completely to the decision she had somehow just made within the past few seconds. Some strong muscle of desire clenched and quaked deep within as he fought with himself to force the right words from his mouth.

"Sookie…as right as you wanting to become a vampire is…the motivation behind it is not." Every sinew and cell in his make-up screamed to the contrary.

To have my bonded by my side through a night of eternities…how is it that I am turning down this golden opportunity?

But the intent came bubbling to surface and Eric grimaced again.

She has to want this for a reason that will not fade and wane. And that is what her fear will do in time.

Once again the well poured forth and Eric felt her crumple with rejection as each tear rolled.

"Sookie." he whispered into her hair and crushed her little frame to him. If he could have squeezed the pain out of her he would have but the reminder of her fragility stayed him. "Sookie. I do not deny you to hurt you. You know how much I want to bring you to me and keep you by my side forever…but I will not let you run from your fears." he couldn't be sure whether she heard him through her sobs. "This unseen beast that torments you will not hold sway over you forever. I promise I will help you find peace from this fear. But not with these." Eric tapped a finger to his fang that he had willed downwards. Sookie looked up at him and blinked through damp lashes. He could see her melancholy shift into something almost feral as rage sliced through the bond. Eric recoiled from the invisible force before her words and fists could join in.

"You coward!" her fist pounded against Eric's chest. "You have the power to save me but you choose not to! What was your reason the first time? We're too busy feeding or fucking when I called to you?"

"My love." his voice came out pained and broken.

"I screamed for you over and over! Even when I was at death's door. Even when I was praying for it to take me you still didn't come! Where were you? Why didn't you hear me? Feel me?"

"I heard every scream, Sookie, felt every cut and tare." the response was barely more than a whisper but she heard them and caught his lowering chin in her grasp.

"Then why? Why was it Bill and Niall?"

"It was your great-grandfather's will, Sookie. That is why."

"What do you mean?" Sookie shook her head and waited for his hushed response.

Eric sighed with the weight of this burden he had carried but somehow the relief of finally getting to tell her was absent. "When Bill reported that you'd been taken by fairies I called Niall at once. He teleported straight to Bill to get a firsthand description of the fairies to be sure it was Lochlan and Neave. He then brought Bill to me along with his seer. My sword was sharpened and I was ready for battle when they arrived and I fully expected Niall to teleport us to wherever he thought you were, no doubt in the other realm. But without explanation he had his seer lay hands on Bill and I. I almost tore the old woman head off when she shushed me from demanding Niall explain himself. After the longest minute of the my life she turned to Niall and gestured to me. That's when they all disappeared. I headed for the door so I could leave the bar and try and track you through the bond but when I reached for it I was halted by a force field. It knocked me unconscious for a while and I finally woke to the sound of Pam trying to beat down the door from the other side. When brute force didn't work I had Pam call anyone and everyone we knew that may be able to break the spell cast around my office. But no one came in time and eventually the door opened and the force field was gone. Before I could take to the sky I received a call from Niall and he told me you were badly injured but safe. I wanted to rage down the phone at him for what he had done but my only thoughts were to get you somewhere safe and so I contacted Dr. Ludwig and we arranged for you to be taken to her. I have never flown so fast as I did that night, determined to get to you and heal your wounds...wounds" Eric faltered and wrapped his fingers over his face. "…that I should have been able to prevent. But instead of rescuing you and killing those wretched creatures I was left locked away and impotent against the fight that son of a bitch stole from me!" When he uncovered his eyes Sookie could almost see the blue turn red with the fury her vampire was battling. "After the conflict ended I plotted to kill Niall for the offense he brought against us but he left too quickly to his realm for me to find him. I knew you would have hated me for it but I would have done it, Sookie." She believed him in a terrible moment of realization that she too felt angry with Niall.

"Why the hell would he have done that?"

"I found out from Bill afterwards." The fact that Bill had confided any of this to Eric seemed strange to Sookie but she brushed it off, assuming it to be some sort of obligation Bill would have as Eric's subordinate. He would never allow her to find out just how he'd actually received this information from her ex. "He told me that Niall had chosen him to join in the battle because his seer had seen a vampire fall at the hands of Lochlan and Neave. A vampire who was bonded to you, Sookie. Since Niall did not know which one of us you had bonded to, he brought her to read us. When he knew it was me he decided to take Bill instead." It was that simple. All the nights that worry had kept her awake wondering. All the blame she had laid on his head. All the bitterness she had held onto. Just a waste. A waste of time and energy. Niall, her great grandfather had saved her bonded from certain death. Had he done it because he knew the emotional turmoil of a broken bond would send her finally and completely over the edge? Or could he have done it for them both?

"The vampire is not a bad man, and he loves you." he had said to her before leaving for The Fairy Realm. Without explaining himself he conveyed in his words both an explanation and an apology.

"Eric he knew."

"Knew what?"

"He knew we were meant to be together. He saved you because he knew I couldn't have…" she paused, not wanting to even imagine the reality of those words. "…couldn't have survived your final death. He saved both of us in more ways than one." Sookie gasped when the rest of the equation fit into place. "And he condemned Bill to a life of sickness by taking him to battle Lochlan and Neave." Sookie let the guilt roll through and Eric caught a wave of it before embracing her. "He must be in so much pain right now. Do you think there's anything we can do for him?"

"I have already taken care of that."

"How so?" she asked because with Eric that admission could have taken different meanings.

"I gave him an infusion of my blood the other night. I will offer again soon if he accepts."

"Why wouldn't he? Maybe we should go over right now and you can give him more!" Sookie tried to jump up but was halted by Eric's tightening grip.

"We're not going anywhere tonight. This night is ours and no one else's. If anything would honor what Bill and Niall has given us it would be to reforge our bond which involves only you and I. Is that something you still want, Sookie?" he hated the doubt in his words but found that he needed her comfirmation verbally before anything further could be said.

It didn't take even a moment for Sookie to know the answer. "Of course, Eric." The voice of descent now completely gone, she wondered how it had ever let her question what a gift this man and his connection to her truly was.

"And no more talk of me turning you? At least…not tonight." The words couldn't have sounded more awkward and odd if he had had a mouth full of peanut butter as he spoke them. But he needed to know she would allow him to help her the right way.

"I know you're right and that I'm just acting on impulses but I will ask you again one day. I don't know how long from now that will be but I hope that when the time comes I'll be asking for the right reasons."

Eric could have levitated from the giddiness her words incited. A giddy vampire? Such strange and interesting times were just ahead for this vampire and his life altering woman.

"Then I think it's time." he nodded to himself.

"Time for what?"

"Time for me to show you the bed you'll be sleeping in when dawn breaks."

She knew she had already seen and slept in the bed he had prepared for her upstairs and she almost voiced her confusion when the actual meaning of his words sunk in.

"Oh." Eric's inner lair. Where he sleeps when dawn breaks. Where she would be sleeping from now on. "OH!"