*** Love and Definition ***
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** People like giving names and definitions to everything.
Trying to define love as if it was something you could just chop up into sections and examine them under a microscope.
Isn't it ridiculous? **
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"Arrgg, why does it rain today? It hasn't even hit the rainy season yet!" Genta groaned, looking down at the rain-soaked ground unhappily from the window.
"Yeah, we're supposed to play soccer in the fifth period." Mitsuhiko stared at his textbook disinterestedly.
"Then what are we going to do for class activity? Silent reading and writing Kanji are so boring." Ayumi sighed.
"Stop complaining, you three. We'll play a little game in this free period." Kobayashi-sensei came back to class, smiling pleasantly.
"What game, sensei?" The room filled with noises and the children suddenly became excited.
"It's very simple. Everyone, take out a piece of paper." She clapped her hands, continuing to talk when she had their full attention. "Now, write what you think about love. Love for your family, friends, school, and so on. Then we will start to share with each other. You will read out loud the paper of the person sitting next to you and that person will read yours. Easy, right?"
"Can that even be called a game?" Genta made a long face. His excitement fell drastically down to zero.
"Yeah, it's so…lame." Mitsuhiko agreed, tapping his pencil on his desk, showing no enthusiasm whatsoever.
Kobayashi-sensei kept her hands on her hips as she bent down to face the two of them, asking in an intimidating voice. "Ha…ha. So, you two do it or not?"
They let out a nervous laugh and immediately scribbled on their papers.
She walked down across the aisles, watching her students intently with a hidden smile.
"Even if she wants everyone to get to know each other better, she shouldn't pick this silly topic." Conan muttered darkly, spinning his pencil around his fingers.
"Oh, shouldn't you be the one interested the most in this topic, Kudo-kun? Your passionate love for…you-know-who." Ai smirked, writing something down on her paper.
"Baka, this is a first-grade class." Conan mumbled, his cheeks flaming.
"So you say that if this isn't a first-grade class, you will be more than willing to write an epic love poem for her to confess your undying love, right?" Glancing at him from a corner of her eyes, Ai noted sarcastically.
"Who do you think I am? A romantic freak?" Almost dropping his pencil, he raised his eyes at her.
"No. Just an idiot in a love drama." She answered nonchalantly without shifting her eyes.
"Hey hey…" He glared at her and his expression quickly turned into curiosity.
It seemed like she was really paying attention to this lame game.
"What are you writing about, Haibara?" Leaning over his desk, he tried to take a quick glimpse at her paper but she hurriedly hid it under her hands.
"Conan-kun!" He jumped at the sound of Kobayashi-sensei's voice. Turning around, he put on a very cute grin and hoped it could work like every time.
"You shouldn't disturb Haibara-san. Everybody will share their papers later so there's no need to look over it now." She scowled at him and the corners of her mouth turned down in disapproval.
"I'm sorry." He lowered his head, apologizing to her.
Ai snickered silently, seeming oblivious to the annoyed look on his face.
x...x...X
"Mitsuhiko, you're next." Ayumi reminded the freckled boy who was drawing random circles on his notebook idly.
He took Genta's paper, gawking at it, and shook his head in an unacceptable way. "My god, your handwriting is so terrible. I cannot read it at all."
"Because your standard is low, Mitsuhiko." Genta snapped his paper back, raising his hand. "Sensei, can I read my own?"
"Ok. Go ahead." Kobayashi-sensei waved her hand toward him, gesturing her consent. She was so happy to see how much her students cooperated.
Genta stood up confidently, clearing his throat audibly, as if he was giving a very important speech about world peace.
"Love is eel
So yummy
No matter
How many times I eat
And eat
I still want more
And more
One bowl, ten bowls
My stomach can never be full."
He stopped and glanced around, expecting thunderous applause from his classmates. But the whole class just gaped at him, and suddenly burst out laughing.
Even the teacher couldn't hide her amusement.
"You are always full of spirit for food, aren't you, Genta-kun?" Wiping her tears, Ayumi teased him.
Sitting down sulkily, Genta turned to Mitsuhiko and argued something with him.
"Your writing is so cute, Genta-kun." Kobayashi-sensei commented, coaxingly.
Everyone clapped their hands in agreement and a huge grin reappeared on Genta's face.
"Actually, Genta had a good point about love." Ai murmured, resting her cheek on her hand.
"Huhm?" Conan perked up, tilting his head toward her.
"Love is like a special kind of food. You can eat a lot but always feel hungry and want more than what you have. In addition, everybody has their own tastes, so the kinds of food they like are surely different from one another. If your most favorite food is fried chicken and you're loyal and devoted, no matter what delicacies people give you, you still choose what you like the most. Don't you think?" Ai quirked an eyebrow at his bewildered face.
"Nah…You said as if you are an expert of love, Haibara. I'm really curious even though I know it's kind of impossible. Have you ever loved somebody?" Conan asked with token interest, grinning teasingly. He wasn't serious, even his tone could tell her that.
Her eyes, in a flash, turned very cold. Like the sharp color of ice. Like the misty fog of winter. Like the wall she set up to shield her wounded heart.
"I'm not like you, Edogawa. I don't believe in anything without reason, such as human love. It is just an illusion that people try desperately to find in this boring world. Throwing their lives and their time away to search for something so intangible and uncertain…" She whispered unemotionally.
"Haibara…" Conan uttered hesitantly, wanting to say something but Kobayashi-sensei cut him off again.
"Haibara-san, your turn." She said with a sweet smile plastered onto her face.
Barely looking at Conan, Ai held out her hand. He sighed, putting his piece of paper on her open palm.
"Love is a mystery book. You can read many times but may not be able to understand it." She read smoothly in her monotone, without any trace of feeling.
"Wow, that's good, Conan-kun." Ayumi praised sincerely.
"Thank you." His smile was embarrassed.
Conan was next now. Ai handed him her paper. There was a glint in her eyes that made him nervous. He slowly unfolded her paper, staring at it like a frog as he opened his mouth for an appropriate response but only managed an indistinct sound.
"Ah…Uh…." Groaning inwardly, he shot Ai an angry glare.
Sitting up straight, she just looked at the teacher with her most innocent face, as if she didn't have a slightest idea why his eyes were boring into her skull like that.
"What's wrong, Conan? Don't tell me you cannot read Haibara's handwriting?" Genta asked ruthlessly.
"No way. Haibara-san's handwriting is neat and beautiful, not like you, Genta." Mitsuhiko protested instantly.
"Conan-kun, just read it. Don't be shy." Kobayashi-sensei encouraged him.
The corners of Ai's mouth slightly twitched as she was trying to suppress a smirk.
Conan took a deep breath and gritted his teeth. His brain worked quickly, his hands were sweating.
"Love is…It is…" He stuttered miserably, searching everything that popped out in his mind for a predicate.
"Love is…a flower that grows and blossoms in your heart." He blurted out finally, waving his hands around in a childish way as if he tried to illustrate what he was saying.
Ai's eyes widened in surprise. She would have laughed if she hadn't been so astounded.
"That's really deep, Haibara-san." Mitsuhiko complimented sheepishly.
A blank look appeared on her face.
Kobayashi-sensei was explaining something to the class but both Conan and Ai paid no attention at all.
"Your creativity amazed me, Edogawa-kun. You didn't read what's written in my paper." Ai snorted.
Glaring at her, he put the paper on her desk.
"How am I supposed to read something like this in a first grade class? You will be in big trouble, Haibara. I just saved you." He hissed unpleasantly.
"There is nothing wrong with what I wrote." Ai snapped in annoyance.
"Yeah. There isn't." Conan mimicked her sarcastic tone. "If your eyes have serious problem or you are illiterate."
And he read what she wrote in a hushed voice so that only they could hear.
"Lost – Lose yourself and become disoriented, like going down a spiral without any escape.
Obstructive – Make yourself stuck dead in one place, unable to turn away.
Vacant – Empty or Vulnerable – Your defenses become so weak and your heart is easy to break. Anyone can touch you, hurt you, reach you, and leave you.
Epidemic – An infectious disease that once you get attacked, you are incurable. Even if you're one in a million people who is lucky enough to get out of it, love still leaves deep scars all over your heart."
Ai chuckled bleakly. "It is the truth, isn't it?"
"Seriously, Haibara, I know you are never the one for love but this is way too negative. I admit that love can bring to you many tragedies like those I used to witness, but if it is true love, you can definitely find your ha –"
"Stop talking about this." Ai suddenly cut sharply into his sentence. The way she looked at him was so strange.
Angry? Or hurt? He couldn't tell.
For a long moment, they didn't say anything. The noises around them seemed to come from a different world. Only the rain knocked on the window, filling their space with a sad melody.
Gazing out at the heavy rain, she spoke vaguely in a voice that sounded like a wind blowing in the sky, breaking the silence like breaking the ice. "There is someone who is in love with someone else, but cannot find the courage to tell that someone their love. Isn't it idiotic?"
"Hey, you aren't talking about me, are you?" Conan squirmed uncomfortably. His eyes narrowed, trying to scrutinize her vacant expression.
"Who knows…" left her lips carelessly, like a breeze through a grass field.
x...x...X
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The bell had rung ten minutes ago and now the sun was peeking into the empty classroom. The late sunlight danced on the windowpanes, drying the last raindrops falling down from the sky.
Inside the strawberry blonde girl's desk, a crumpled piece of paper was laid there. Even if someone accidentally saw and opened it, they wouldn't be able to recognize any word.
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'Cause these lines were meant to be erased and thrown away….
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'Love is like someone secretly putting a vase of flowers in your room. You cannot smell its fragrance immediately. But after a while, the fragrance gradually begins to fill up in every corner of your room. And before you know it, you are so captivated by that charming scent already…
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You, the person sitting next to me, are like a magical fragrance that can warm this ice cold air and soothe away my aching pain…
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Will I be able to breathe without you someday?'
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** There is one kind of love that you can never know its meaning.
It has no promise, no sweet words, and no visible tears.
It stays in your mind like a shadow, scratching your soul with uncertainty.
It goes through your life voicelessly, dragging its tragedy along unpredictably.
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Letting these feelings cross the friendship line unknowingly, I accept the fate that my love will forever remain undefined. **
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