A/N: Guys? XD This is the part of the story when everyone has their fair-share of mind rape, kay? First is Ruri! These chapters are going to be short until I get to everyone. Meaning: they are going to be in the 2,000ish range. Anyway, this should give you insight on Ruri. O_o You know what I've realized? You guys are... oblivious to who Ruri IS! XD This should help you! Oh yeah, I can't do poetry, so any poetry you see doesn't belong to me!! XD

-: Chapter Nine: The Psychotic Wars: Avaritia :-

Beware the danger it lurks for those who get swept away
The dreamers get punished most by truth
They say it's all in a little ways
One reveals their love's gone away,
Love's gone away

Fools like me - Vanessa Carlton

Your plan was awful. Think about it. It was no different than what we did two years ago. We destroyed our own allies. We destroyed the people who had fought together with us, at our sides. We didn't have a choice then. We believed that was the only way we could save Aretha. Do you know what it felt like to watch them die? Right before my eyes? It was the only thing we could do. It was the only choice we had. I gave in, I accepted, I believed. I allowed it to be true. I thought I'd be able to go through with it without ever doubting myself. But I... It hurt so much.

Help, I have done it again. I have been here many times before.

You… you said you'd watch me! You said you'd watch me! My world started to spin out of control. I… didn't want this. Kaori—my sister—she looked like something I couldn't possibly describe. My Keyblade began throbbing, and soon, all I could see was darkness. I started screaming. Crying. Clawing my fingers into my hair, not sensing Nana on top of my head. Then, I heard my sister's voice—Kaori's voice screaming out towards me, but not calling my name.

Hurt myself again today. And the worse part is there's no one else to blame.

But I… I hurt so much! I couldn't concentrate! I couldn't see… I couldn't breathe… I wanted to die. The pain was unbearable! I just wanted to go home! To Aretha! With my sister!

"You can't do anything right," a voice echoed within the darkness. I knew that voice all too well. Tears streamed down my face as I opened my right eye… just a little. But that only frightened me even more! I couldn't see! I bit my bottom lip until blood started to trickle from it. I just wanted her to acknowledge my presence! I wanted her to like me for who I was! Not what I was good for!

Be my friend. Wrap me up. Unfold me.

"Wah… I… you… mpph," I mumbled, as it hurt to talk, and my tears muffled my tears. I wanted to die when I heard Kaori's sadistic laughter. I just wanted her to notice me! My grip tightened on my Keyblade. That thing wasn't mine! I felt sick to my stomach just holding it! I collapsed on my knees, begging and pleading to stop this episode. They came frequently—and they broke me every time.

"You want to end it… but pathetic Ruri… you can't!"

I started gasping, sweat dripping off my forehead as if the darkness around me was really hot. My breathing was shallow and jagged, and my stomach hurt even more so. My lungs felt like they were bursting. I couldn't breathe! I panicked. There was so much air around me, but it was like the air wasn't letting me breath it in! Like it was being selfish! I started wheezing. Coughing. And my eyes widened at the sight of my own blood dripping from my mouth.

I am small and needy. Warm me up, and breathe me.

I winced at a sharp sound echoing in my ear. I tried to be strong. To gain some control over this moment. To fight this. But every time I tried to get away, the pain just got more unbearable for me to take. I clenched my teeth and let out an ear-shattering scream. But… no one was there to here me! I was all alone! No one was going to be there for me! The scourge of life, and death's extreme disgrace, The smoke of hell,--that monster called Pain… I wanted him to go away! Nothing begins, and nothing ends. That is not paid with moan; For we are born in others' pain And perish in our own. I knew that. But I wanted this to just end!

Ouch, I have lost myself again. Lost myself and nowhere to be found.

The pain and hurt which I felt, went as deep as it was real; to be around and yet unseen, takes the water out of the steam. I still remembered Nana's words. Or at least, I tried to. 'As you walk through the storm, hold your head up high, and don't be afraid of the dark. At the end of the storm is a golden sky, and the sweet silver song of the lark. Walk on through the wind. Walk on through the rain. Though your dreams be tossed and blown. Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart. And you'll never walk alone, you'll never walk alone.' Why did I feel so alone? Why did I feel so afraid! My Keyblade… wasn't even one of light! Please… I needed help…. Kaori's voice disappeared, and soon, I heard nothing.

I was all alone.

I was always alone. Within the darkness.

"Giving up already? C'mon Ruri, I thought you were stronger than that." My eyes shimmered at this comment. There was always this voice. It was a man's voice, and for some reason, he knew my name. But I didn't know his. He came whenever I felt along. Whenever I felt like this. I just called him Shadow. But it made me… angry. Angry that he waited like he did. But I was nearly pushed to my breaking point. I couldn't go on. I clutched my Keyblade—which was called the Requiem of Atrophy. It was a strange weapon that had a Heartless keychain on it.

I slowly tried standing up, and the darkness surrounded me. I whimpered in hysterics. My face must have looked absolutely frightening. I was terrified. I feared for my life. The darkness was eating away at me. With pleading eyes, I saw someone. He was wearing a black hood. And then he extended his hand towards me. It crawled all around me, like some kind of bug. … My eyesight was getting worse. And then, I faded into darkness.

I think that I might break. I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe.

A tall female stood up from her seat within the bleachers. The hot sun gleaned on top of her head. The smirk that was plastered on top of her face let off a prideful aura. In her left hand was a white volley ball. The volley ball had all kinds of signatures on it. The female snickered to herself before letting out a chuckle.

"Tell you what cry baby… if you can score at least one point, I'll give you my winning ball."

The woman's gaze fixated down upon a fierce game of volley ball being played. The game consisted upon five players on each side of the net. Each of the players were female, hence the girl's volley ball team playing. The most unusual thing about the players was that one girl had oddly color hair. Her hair was purple, while everyone else on the teams was either a blonde or brunette.

"Hey freak! Serve the ball!"

The woman let out a petty little sigh. The girl with the purple hair scowled at this comment. She held the volley ball in her hands a bit longer.

"I have a name…" The purple haired girl whispered. The woman smiled at this comment.

"Wah, wah, wah. Is little Ruri going to start crying again? How are you going to beat me in my own game if you can't even serve the ball?" The woman spat crudely. Ruri started to tremble before glairing at the woman.

"…. Kaori! Please…"

"Hurry up freak! Serve the ball already! Time is about to run out!"

Ruri threw the ball into the air and tried to serve it, but missed miserably. Ruri fell onto the sandy ground as a loud buzzing sound filed the ears of many out raged fans. Ruri picked up her head in disbelief as salty tears began to gather inside of her hazel eyes. Ruri's teammates stared wickedly at her.

"Nice going Crybaby," one of Ruri's teammates spat. Ruri burst into tears as her teammates walked over her. Food items began to pelt the weeping girl. Ruri didn't move. Instead, she sobbed louder. Pretty soon, the bleachers were empty, and the only one still standing around were Ruri was Kaori. Kaori started to laugh.

"You really suck Ruri! You're never going to get this. You see, I am the best. Now get up and let's go home, runt."

Ruri stood up slowly and wiped the tears from her face. "I…"

"You what?"

"I…"

"What? Get it out already!"

"I…" Ruri paused, before forcing a smile. "Nothing."

So much to do, so little time... Take your time. Don't be afraid. The door is still shut. Now, step forward. Can you do it?

I don't think I can...

If you give it form... It will give you strength. Choose well.

I can't decide...

The power of the warrior. Invincible courage. A sword of terrible destruction. You give up this power?

I want it. But I can't weild it.

All right! You've got it. Use this power to protect yourself and others.

Can I protect... others?

There will be times you have to fight. Keep your light burning strong.

I never knew... light could burn so strong...

Hold on. The door won't open just yet. First, tell me more about yourself.

I'm Ruri. I want to be strong, but I can't. I just can't do it.

You're afraid of getting old. You want to see rare sights. You want to be number one. Your adventure begins at dawn. As
long as the sun is shining, your journey should be a pleasant one.

Please, give me strength. I can't do this on my own...

... Keyblade. Keyblade.

How I wish I could look back to understand... Back to when lives were taken. Back to when families were separated.
Back to when children were murdered. I wish I could have helped to save them. I wish I could have tried to understand this senseless taking of human life. They are no different than you or I. They did not deserve this pain, this torture.
I wish I could look back to understand, to set lives free. To learn their pain and frustration.

Trying to understand; I can hear their screams. I can hear their pain. I can hear their fear. I can hear a mother's cry when children are shot down. Oh, that pain so great, so terrible. I can smell the odor. The odor of burning human life
I can smell the sweat, the sweat of hard labour. I can smell the fear, such an atrocity

I see the footage today, trying to learn what happened to them. I watch the films today, trying to comprehend the pain they went through. We all see the pictures, watch the torture, just trying to imagine this tragedy. But the fact is we can't, unless our human life undergoes this. These poor people, my heart cries out but there is nothing I can do. Oh, please hear me. I am so sorry this had to happen to you.

Your time is now, it is here, time to rest.

Time to be reunited and live everlasting in that great Kingdom.

I don't want this anymore.