In Shallow Seas We Sail

Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I was out of town this weekend, and weekends and Wednesdays are the only days I get off work. Thanks for all the reviews and such! I love you all!

Enjoy,
Sara

*

The sweet careful lines we've crossed
And now we never can go back.
Curbside Goodbye

[5]

He didn't know what to say. She could easily tell when he was lying, usually, but, nonetheless, he had it on the tip of his tongue to say no. With his recent mess-up, however, he began to think of the repercussions of lying to her. After all, if he were suddenly laid out like Kate, Juliet would know. But if that happened, would it really matter that he'd lied? She would be worried, not thinking about what he kept from her. Right? He reasoned that his experience back at the mall was nothing compared to Kate. He was probably just day-dreaming, and it hadn't happened since. Must've just been a fluke.

"No, no, hasn't happened to me," he said. "What about you?"

She eyed him for a moment, but he stared right back at her. "No," she said finally. There was a hit of doubt in her voice, and he wondered if she were lying right back to him. He felt worry bubbling up in his stomach. He couldn't imagine Juliet breaking down like Kate. "Maybe it was just because they left and came back," she reasoned.

"Maybe."

A silence fell between them. Sawyer busied himself by looking around the little playroom. He thought of all the time he could've been here, if he'd just taken the responsibility of being a father. Then again, had he decided to be a father, he might have never met Juliet on the island. He might've never gone, and maybe then it wouldn't be calling him back. The thought popped into his mind almost without his knowledge…he hadn't once thought that the island was calling him back, even with the vision, even with Kate's breakdown.

"James, what's going on?" Juliet asked suddenly, breaking his reverie.

"What do you mean?"

"With Kate, with Hurley even. What are we supposed to do?"

Sawyer had thought of this often since he'd received Cassidy's call and heard of Kate's problem. What was he supposed to do? "When Jack gets here, we'll leave. He can take care of things."

Juliet exhaled deeply through her nose and gave a tight-lipped nod.

He gave a smile that he meant to be reassuring. "We'll be home in no time."

She looked at him. "But can we really just go back? These people, they've become a part of our lives. Can we go on living our lives without knowing what is going to happen to them? What if they do go back?"

"What can we do about it, Juliet? It's their decision. We're not going back there."

"What if –" she began, but shook her head. He didn't ask what she was thinking because he knew. She was thinking of her dreams, thinking of Ben's coming back and taking her away, thinking of things that would not happen, not if he could help it.

"We're not going back," he vowed, and he hoped it was true.

Juliet nodded and looked at her hands. "I probably need to check on Kate," she said softly.

"Okay." Before she left the room, he grabbed her arm and pulled her into a tight embrace. She ran her arms around him as well and breathed deeply. When they parted, she touched his cheek and smiled. "Be good," he teased.

-

While Juliet went to check on Kate, Sawyer and Cassidy sat in the living room in relative silence. Clementine was sitting Indian-style in front of the television, watching some cartoon about three tiny girls with superpowers. Cassidy also seemed interested in the show, but Sawyer assumed she was just trying to avoid any further conversation.

Sawyer cleared his throat, finally. "If your husband is gonna be home soon, Juliet and I can go ahead back to the hotel. Jack can call me when he gets into town."

"It's not that long of a flight. By the time you left, he'd be here," Cassidy said.

"Okay, just didn't want to cause any trouble."

"You're fine," she said, eyes straight ahead.

"I just figured he'd be coming home from work any minute and – "

Cassidy finally turned to regard him, and her gaze alone cut him off. After a long time of just staring, she spoke. "Listen, I don't have a husband."

"What?"

She twisted the wedding band on her finger and then pulled it off. "It's from my first marriage. I didn't have it on when you first came; had to run and find it in my jewelry box. I thought maybe that'd keep you away. Like maybe you wouldn't feel obligated to her anymore." She tilted her head toward Clementine.

Sawyer felt awkward talking about Clementine while she was in the room, but she was so engrossed in the show that nothing could grab her attention. "I didn't come to try to take her away from you. I don't want some big custody deal. I didn't come just so she'd have a daddy, I came to be her daddy."

Cassidy sighed. "Do you blame me for not trusting you?"

"No, I can't blame you. But I'm through preaching to you about how I've changed, because you either accept it, or you don't."

She looked at him, eyes narrowed. "Are you conning her? That badass blonde of yours? She's a doctor, right?"

Despite the seriousness of the subject, Sawyer let out a little snort at Cassidy's nickname for Juliet. "Yes, she's a doctor, but no, Cass, I'm not connin' her." He thought he saw a slight smile on Cassidy's face, but it disappeared as quickly as it had come.

"And do you love her?"

"Yes, I do."

"And did you love me?"

This question surprised him, and he looked up at the ceiling. "Cass, you know as well as I do –"

"Because you said you did, just like you're saying you love her now, and if I can stop you from doing the same to her as you did to me, I will. She doesn't mean anything to me, but she still doesn't deserve what she's going to get from you."

"Stay out of this, Cass."

"I didn't ask you to come here."

"Matter a'fact, you did."

"Well, I didn't ask you to bring her," Cassidy countered weakly.

Sawyer shook his head and leaned his head back on the couch. It was going to be a long wait for Jack's arrival.

*

"Be good."

Juliet felt awkward about leaving Sawyer and Cassidy alone, but there was nothing she could do. She needed to make sure everything was okay with Kate.

When she opened the bedroom door, it screeched slightly and Kate bolted upright in bed.

"Jack?"

"It's just me," Juliet said softly.

"Oh, Juliet." Kate leaned back against her pillows.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Not on the island, if that's what you mean," Kate joked.

"Were you able to get to sleep?"

"Some."

"Do you need anything?"

"No, thank you."

Juliet took Kate's short answers as a sign to leave her alone. "Well, Jack should be arriving shortly. The flight isn't too long, and he should've already taken off."

Kate nodded again, but her hand jerked upward to her head. "The flight," Kate moaned.

"Are you okay?" Juliet asked, moving closer to the bed.

"Juliet?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, it's me," Juliet said, although they'd already been over this.

"We have to go back. You have to convince him to go back. He has to go back."

"Who, Kate?"

"Sawyer, he has to go back, and you're the only one that can get him to. The man – the man told me."

"What man?"

Kate swallowed audibly. The dull light in the room shone oddly on her glassy eyes. Perspiration glinted on her upper lip, and she dabbed at it with the back of her hand. "Jacob."

Juliet started slightly at the mention of the name. She'd heard it so often from Ben, and although she half-expected it, it still sent a shiver down her spine.

"Sawyer?" Kate asked.

"No, Kate, James isn't here. Do you want me to get him?"

Kate smiled slightly. "Why'd she call you James?" She paused, as if in her mind, she was hearing a response. "You taste like fish biscuits."

Juliet stood silently, staring at Kate. Had she been able to leave, she would've left the room and avoided Kate's trip down memory lane, especially when the subject currently seemed to be James.

Kate turned her gaze toward Juliet, and for a moment she appeared to be herself. "Not all of it was misery."

Because Kate's gaze seemed to expect a reply, Juliet nodded. "No – no, it wasn't."

Kate nodded as well, and her eyes closed. Her teeth clenched and her body jarred, and when she opened her eyes again, she exhaled deeply. "Is Jack here?" Kate asked, hopefully.

"Not yet."

Kate put her hand to her face, breathing deeply. Finally, she looked back to Juliet, and Juliet's mouth fell open.

"What?"

Juliet raised her own hand to her face and rubbed her nose. Kate mirrored her actions, effectively whipping away the thin line of blood that had formed there. Kate's eyes widened and she looked at Juliet. "What's happening to me?"