In Shallow Seas We Sail

Author's Note: Okay guys, another one-shot challenge this week, so be sure to leave a review if you want a chance to win. :) Also, be sure to check out fanbbs (dot) net – it's a fansite for fandom? Haha. It's for fanart/fanfiction and such. They are trying to expand their fanbase, so let's get some Losties on there!

I'm leaving on vacation on Saturday, so I don't really know when I'll get around to the weekend update, but I will try my hardest! I'll have internet access, but you know how it is. I'm going to TRY to get the update out early, so cross your fingers.

Enjoy,
Sara

*

Don't be late, there's no time to be afraid.
There's a way to clean up the mess you've made.
In a Lose, Lose Situation

[9]

"She wasn't on the island, not that I know…she's the one that will help us."

"She?" Sawyer questioned, "How do you know it's a she? That could be a last name. And how are we supposed to find her, call 411? Think everyone knows her by one name? Think she's Cher?"

"Ilana," Kate tested, "Sounds like a woman's name to me."

"Bet she's foreign," Cassidy chimed in. Up until this point, Sawyer had forgotten she was there at all.

"I don't care where she's from, I just wanna know how we're gonna find her," Sawyer said, anxiously tapping one foot on the floor.

Jack considered the list carefully. "There must be a reason she is the last name on the list," he said.

"So we gotta find these people in order now?"

"It's a start, Sawyer. That's all I can say, it's a start."

*

Cassidy agreed to let Sawyer, Kate, and him stay at her house for the night. Although Sawyer had a hotel room, he preferred to stay at Cassidy's, so Jack had taken him to check out and get his (and Juliet's) few belongings. Sawyer, no doubt, wanted to stay close to the action, in case Jack should decide to go on without him.

"Incoming!" Cassidy shouted as she tossed a few blankets down the stairs. Jack picked them up and carried them into the living room where Sawyer sat, head in his hands.

"She thinks it's all a joke," Sawyer muttered, referring to Cassidy. He cleared his throat and looked up at Jack.

Jack was startled by what he saw in Sawyer's gaze: weakness, vulnerability. He felt the need to comfort him, as best he could. "We'll get her back – Juliet, we'll get her back." Sawyer's love for Juliet was obvious, but it still came as a surprise to Jack.

Instead of a biting remark about his poor leadership skills, Sawyer only nodded and took one of the blankets from Jack's arms. It had taken half the night just to convince Sawyer that if they were going to try to talk to Hurley, they would have to go during visiting hours. Jack didn't mention that he didn't want to leave Kate so soon, but Sawyer probably realized this.

"Thanks," Sawyer said, whether for the condolence or the blanket, Jack didn't know.

"You're welcome."

-

"You don't have to sleep in the floor, you know," Kate quipped semi-playfully from the bed. Jack stretched out and attempted to cover his feet with the blanket. "It's not like we haven't slept together."

Jack chuckled his response. He was staying in Kate's room in case something happened to her in the night, though it seemed that since they had decided to carry out the plan of getting the others to go back to the island, Kate hadn't had any flashes. Dreams, however, would be a different story.

Kate remained silent. She didn't press him to join her in bed, and he was thankful, because if she had, he would've taken her up on her offer. The truth was, he was still raw from Kate; she used him, once, twice, every time, and despite the affection he felt for her, he couldn't let it get the better of him, not now. Now he had to focus on saving her, saving Juliet, saving them all. After all, he was the cause of all this, and now it was up to him to fix it.

Sometime in early morning, Kate's voice cut through the still air. "It only ends once. Anything that happens before that is just progress."

Jack listened for something more, but she said nothing else. "What progress?"

"This is progress," she replied.

"Finding them, that's progress? How do I find them?"

"Seek and you will find," Kate's voice said, striking a Biblical chord somewhere in Jack's mind.

"And after that?"

"You will find a way."

"And once we're on the island, what happens?"

"The end," she said.

Jack sighed. "But what is the end?"

Kate was silent for a moment. "The end to, as you say, all this misery."

*

Sawyer was miserable, and Cassidy's lumpy couch was certainly not the cause. He was filled with nervous energy; he couldn't believe there was nothing they could do now. At this moment, for him, Cassidy's sofa was the farthest point from Juliet.

"If he takes me back there…like he said he was going to. If he does, don't come after me."

He remembered her plea, a promise he refused to make. She was always putting everyone else first, but in this case, she was trying to please only herself. She was trying to keep him safe, but without her, there was nothing but agony ahead. She didn't want to accept this; she wanted to free herself from the blame, but he wasn't having it.

Jack stirred from Kate's room early, long before their flight back to LA was scheduled to leave, but Sawyer was glad. Any movement was good; he couldn't just lie there and pretend he was helping.

"Ready, Doc?" Sawyer asked, already up and folding Cassidy's blankets.

Jack rubbed the sleep from his eyes and gave a nod. "Hurley called me before I came here and asked me to come see him. I was going to go but – " He jerked his head toward Kate's room and, as if on cue, the door opened and Kate stepped out.

"Want something for breakfast?" she asked and headed toward the kitchen without waiting for a response. Jack followed, and Sawyer reluctantly trailed behind. Luckily, Kate didn't waste any time at making a meal and laid out cereal and milk on the table. She put three bowls and three spoons around the table and sat down at her own.

"Thanks," Jack said.

Sawyer mumbled some sort of response and hurriedly crammed some Cocoa Puffs into his mouth.

"I wish I could help you," Kate said.

Neither of the men had anything to say in response. After the relatively silent breakfast, Kate wrapped her arms around Sawyer's neck and pulled him into a quick embrace. "Be careful," she said.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't do anything stupid. You can't get to her if you're in prison," she half-teased, though Sawyer knew part of her was serious.

He nodded and gave her a slight smile. "Take care of yourself, Freckles. We'll be back for you soon."

He left the room and stood in the hallway to wait for Jack. He heard them speaking in hurried whispers, but he didn't try to listen.

"Where you goin'?" a voice said from the upstairs landing.

Sawyer's gaze jerked upward to where Clementine stood in her nightgown, holding tightly to a stuffed giraffe. He smiled. "We're goin' on a trip. You remember that blonde lady? We're goin' go get her."

"Where she go?"

"She went to…do some work, but now we're gonna go get her."

"You comin' back?"

"Yeah, we're gonna come back and get your Auntie Kate and we're all gonna go on a trip."

Clementine's eyes lit up. "A trip?"

"A grown up trip," Sawyer corrected, and Clementine's lip pooched out. "You wouldn't have any fun."

Clementine swayed back and forth, kicking her nightgown out to the sides. She laid her giraffe down on the landing. Slowly, she descended the stairs.

"Clementine, you need to get back in bed."

She didn't listen and stood in front of where he stood. He looked down at her and she pointed at the floor. Obediently, he kneeled to her level. After a moment's hesitation, she threw her arms around him, and he could do nothing but hug her back, and there he was…holding his daughter for the first time.

-

"What are we going to do once we get in here?" Sawyer asked. Everything in him screamed not to rely on Jack for any more plans, but he didn't really know what else to do. He thought about breaking Hurley out, but it would be a lot easier with a certified doctor on his side.

"We're just going to talk to Hurley."

"Talk? Listen, I've about had it with all this talkin' – "

"Sawyer, we can't rush into anything." Without missing a beat, Jack passed through the door of the Santa Rosa Mental Health Institute, leaving Sawyer to trail behind him. It was either that or take off on his own, and he had no idea how to get to the island, short of swimming or orchestrating a plane crash.

"Yes, we're here to visit with Hugo Reyes," Jack was saying to the nurse. Jack nodded a few times and proceeded to sign his name on a sheet of paper. He passed the sheet to Sawyer to do the same.

The nurse moved away from the window and returned a few moments later. "I'm sorry, Mr.," she looked at the paper, "Shephard, Mr. Ford, but Hugo currently has a visitor."

"Oh," Jack said, glancing at Sawyer.

Sawyer stepped up with a dimpled grin, hoping that he didn't look as tired as he felt. "Could ya tell us this fella's name, maybe?"

The nurse looked back at him. "No, sir, I'm sorry."

"We could join them, is what I'm sayin', we probably know him. We know most of Hur – Hugo's family, been real close for years."

She looked down at the visitor log and then glanced around carefully. Slowly, she pushed the log toward them, her finger laid beside one name that meant nothing to Sawyer, but Jack took a step back.

Jeremy Bentham.