In Shallow Seas We Sail

Author's Note: I know it's taken a gizzilion years to update, but I've been crazy busy. School started, then it was BCM leadership stuff, then it was Greek Week, then it was Open/Closed Rush time…anyways, it's been crazy. However, HOPEFULLY, things should be slowing down. This update progresses the plot some, so I think you all will enjoy it. Let me know how many people are still reading!

Enjoy,
Sara

*

When morning comes, will we believe
All that was lost can be retrieved?
Inside Our Skin

[13]

Shortly after, Sayid was banging on the front door of Jack's apartment. He didn't wait for someone to open the door, but tried the knob and found it unlocked. Jack stood in front of the door, arm outstretched to open it. "Sorry," Sayid mumbled, making his way past Jack and into the living room. He eyed Sawyer, Hurley, and Locke and let out a deep sigh. "I didn't know if they would really be here," he explained.

Sayid was more than relieved. When Jack had told him what was happening, he had a hard time believing that they'd so easily gotten together. He'd seen the mysteries that the island had revealed; he'd travelled through time; he'd been shot – and here he was, living, remembering…going back.

He'd woken up one morning with a splitting headache, a new set of memories, and a man all in white telling him what would happen if he didn't go back to the place he'd tried so desperately to escape. However, somewhere in those lost memories lay the only reason he had to go back – Nadia. If he didn't go back, she would die, and he'd just found her.

He made up some story about a business trip that demanded his immediate departure. He told her he didn't know when he would be back; that much was true. She was shocked and saddened, but he insisted that he would be back as soon as possible. Even if he wasn't, she would be safe – the man in white had promised.

Back in LA, he went through his list of names and locked onto the name of Jack Shephard. He was listed, and Sayid called three times before he finally just left a message. He'd busied himself with checking the whereabouts of the others, but most were more than difficult to locate. Kate Austen was on the run; he'd heard that plenty of times. James Ford wasn't listed in any phonebook and brought only a few internet reports of his arrest years earlier. Hugo Reyes was a current resident of the Santa Rosa Mental Institute. Jin and Sun Kwon didn't seem to be in the United States. John Locke was listed and was obviously residing in Tustin, California. That was to be his next stop, but Jack had called before he'd gotten too far out of the city.

"Of course we're all here, Aladdin. You think the Doc was gonna lie to you?" Sawyer snapped. Despite his usual sarcastic tone, there was something different about him, a sadness lingering in his eyes.

Without thinking, Sayid spoke, "Juliet?"

Sawyer's gaze snapped to him and bored into him. "What about her?"

"Is she still on the island? Is she – "

"She's there now," Sawyer spat.

Sayid rubbed a hand over his face. He didn't quite understand what Sawyer meant by his statement, but he knew that it was better not to press the issue. It would be explained to him soon enough. He turned to Jack. "Kate?"

Jack leaned against the doorframe to the kitchen and shook his head. "It's all a – a long story, Sayid."

"Well, I suppose we have time," Sayid answered.

Sawyer sighed heavily and leaned against the wall.

*

"We're on the same side, Juliet," he said, looking into her cold, unwavering eyes. She'd certainly changed since they'd last met (although they hadn't met at all, now had they?). He supposed he'd changed, too; he'd learned. But if the island maintained its course, this would all be for naught.

"And what side is that?"

Half of the time, he didn't know either. He was behind the scenes, and as much as it bothered him to admit, he knew he held no real power. He'd tried to gain power, he'd tried to play both ends against the middle, he'd let himself be led. It didn't make any difference; for Benjamin Linus, it all turned out the same. So he had to pick a side, and he had to hope it was the right one.

"The right side," he replied.

Juliet leaned forward. Her gaze was just as he remembered, albeit more defiant. He always felt that she could see right through him, though he knew it wasn't true (maybe it was true, maybe he did want someone to see him). "How do you know?" she asked.

It was pointless to tell her the truth, I don't, because she'd never listen after that. She'd run away, or hole herself into the heart of someone else who would help her, and if she wasn't here, nothing would ever work out.

"I just do," he said, forcing a smile. "Don't you have any faith?" He didn't know if he did now. He was the one trying to defy the Island.

"No," she replied, and honestly, it pained him to see her like this. He knew that if she really knew what he was doing, she would forgive him (or would she?). He felt something for her, whether it be love or obsession, or just a fleeing tie to humankind.

She broke away from his gaze and turned her face toward the window. After a moment, she spoke, "You'll never let me go."

"I'm not the one keeping you."

Her eyes narrowed. "Then who is?"

He thought for a moment, but there was only one answer. "The island." He stood as Juliet's shoulders fell; all hope vanished from her eyes.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

He chose not to answer.

"What do I need to do?" she asked, her voice rising.

"Just wait," he said.

"For what?" Her voice was almost a plea.

He didn't answer; he could give her no answer. He heard her chocked sob as he shut the door behind him.

*

Sawyer was sick and tired holding up the damn wall while Jack and Sayid chatted it up like nothing was happening. Given, Jack was filling Sayid in on all that had happened, but he could surely do it quicker.

Locke would add the occasional insight, something cryptic that Jack and Sayid would nod over, excitedly, and Sawyer would huff in his corner. Hurley maintained his traditional role of asking questions; he'd be lucky if they were answered.

Sawyer grew increasingly more frustrated, and just as he was about to speak, his phone buzzed in his pocket. Jin, his mind jolted. He gripped the phone and stared at the screen – Cassidy. Shit.

"Hello?" he answered. At the sound of his voice, the others turned to face him.

"Sawyer – have you seen the news?" It was Kate's voice.

"News?" Sawyer repeated in confusion, knowing very well what she said. He motioned for Jack to hand him the TV remote. Jack nodded and tossed it in his direction.

"Just turn on the TV," Kate said. Sawyer flipped frantically through the channels until he landed on CNN.

"CNN?" he asked.

"Yeah, that's good." There was a pause. "See him?"

Sure enough, Sawyer did see him, and so did everyone else in the room. The image of Charlie Pace filled the screen.

"Police report that the vehicle took on water quickly after its plunge from the bridge," the reporter was saying. "The pressure inside the vehicle most likely prevented the rocker from escaping. After the autopsy reports come in – "

"Read the ticker," Kate's voice shocked him from the other end of the phone. He'd almost forgotten she was there.

Already, Hurley was pointing toward the bottom of the screen. "Police still have no leads on the missing Australian woman, Claire Littleton…"

"Shit," Sawyer breathed into the phone.

"It's all happening again," Kate said.

"Yeah, well, we figured that one out already," he replied.

"What?"

"Listen, Kate, I can't explain. We have to do something. Sayid said –"

"Sayid?"

Sawyer sighed. This was too much explaining. "Jacob said it was all going to happen again."

"Everything?" Kate asked.

The inflection in her voice shock him; that meant Juliet, too. She would die, again.

"Everything, unless we go back," he said.

Kate heaved a sigh at the end of the line. After a moment, she said, "Can I speak to Jack?"

"Yeah," Sawyer replied, a bit more gruffly than he intended. He passed the phone to Jack, who took it gratefully and walked into the adjoining room.

Sawyer leaned back against the wall, all but forgetting the others in the room, until Hurley finally spoke, "So, Charlie drowned and Claire's missing," he said, "I guess we'll have to go back in time next."

It was a pathetic attempt at a joke, though Hurley's face showed the sadness he was feeling.

"It had already started," Locke said.

"Some things have changed, though," Sawyer spoke up.

Locke turned to him. "Have they?"

Sawyer though about his words. How much had changed? Juliet was still on the island, Charlie was still dead, Claire was still missing, Kate was still a fugitive…the only thing that was different was them: they were here, but they were supposed to be on the island.

Jack stepped back into the room, holding the phone out in front of him, towards Sawyer. "You have a beep," he said.

"Yeah?"

"It's Jin."