NOTE: In this story, Danny never went to Montana to support Lindsay through the trial. Also, for all intensive purposes, Lindsay is 27.
Nerves
Lindsay swallowed hard and ran her hands down her beautiful white dress. This was about to be the greatest day of her life. Or, at least, it was supposed to be. She was marrying the man of her dreams. This was a day to remember.
Colin was a good man, a wonderful man, in fact. He'd been her high school sweetheart and up until he moved, she was convinced he was the man she was supposed to marry. In fact, truth be told, she'd believed that all the way up until she'd moved to New York and met Danny. But she'd run into him when she'd gone back to Montana to testify and he'd followed her back home from Montana after the trial, much to her and Danny's surprise.
She cringed at the memory of Danny's response.
Flashback
Lindsay stepped from the courtroom and exhaled a sigh of relief. It was over. Finally, she could put this behind her and go back to New York, explain all of this to Danny, pray that he understood.
She moved away from the crowds of people and pulled her phone out of her purse. She quickly scrolled through the numbers and just as she got to Danny's, she felt a tap on her shoulder.
She turned and came face to face with the first love of her life. "Colin!" She exclaimed, wrapping her arms around his neck. He laughed a little and returned her tight squeeze.
"God, Monroe, look at you. You look… So amazing. The years have definitely been good to you." He complimented warmly, tugging on a strand of her wavy brown hair.
She grinned at him and blushed at his kind words. He'd changed a bit in the past 10 years. He was still tall, broad shoulders and great looking. His blue eyes twinkled warmly at her. His hair was shorter but still dark as ever.
"You aren't looking so bad yourself." She returned as she realized his arms were still around her.
An hour later, they were sitting across from each other at Lou Ellen's on Main, trading stories and catching up.
"Wow, so you're a big shot attorney now huh? That's incredible." She told him, smiling warmly.
"Well, not a big shot. I do a lot of pro bono work, as well as working with battered women, children, abuse cases, that sort of thing." He explained further.
She wasn't surprised at all. That was the kind of person he'd been.
"I really missed you Monroe." He confessed, staring down into his coffee cup. He'd moved away the summer before their senior year. His father had taken a job in Florida and moved the whole family south.
"I don't think you have any idea how much I missed you." She returned quietly. She'd been more than a little heartbroken when he'd left. She'd spent most of her senior year missing him and moping around the house, uninterested in anything other than receiving his letters and phone calls.
"But I made it back for prom." He reminded her, giving her a sly smile.
The memory of prom sparked a smile. He'd surprised her and flown in for her senior prom. It had been a night to remember.
Two weeks later, she was headed back to New York with Colin in tow.
She'd tried to force herself to call Danny, tell him what was happening. She'd picked up the phone at least a dozen times, and had put it down a dozen times. She had no idea what to even say to him, how was she supposed to tell him that she wasn't coming back home to him?
So she dismissed the idea and decided it would be best to tell him in person. That is, until she got a text message the night before she was due to fly back,, telling her he'd be at the airport to pick her up.
She wanted to tell him no, she'd get home on her own. But she didn't… She knew it would hurt him and at that moment, she was trying to minimize that as much as possible. So she agreed.
The next afternoon she was getting off the plane with the first love of her life at JFK airport where the man who wanted to be the future love of her life was waiting.
"I'll go get the bags." Colin told her. She smiled at him and watched him walk away. They'd planned it all out. He'd get an apartment and a job and they'd see where it went. It all just sounded so perfect. Too perfect.
A moment later, Danny's smiling face came into sight. "Hey! Montana!" He greeted warmly, pulling her into a hug the moment she was within arm's reach.
She wrapped her arms around him and for a moment, Colin was the last thing on her mind. Danny held on, inhaling her scent, enjoying the feeling of her in his grasp again.
"Danny, we need to talk." She told him when they pulled back. Her tone was serious but Danny didn't seem to notice.
"Sure, I'll get you home and we'll talk later." He agreed, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and attempting to steer her towards the baggage claim, only to come face to face with Colin.
"Trying to leave without me?" He questioned teasingly as he put their bags on the floor in front of them.
Danny said nothing, just turned to look at Lindsay. She cleared her throat nervously. "Danny… Um, this… This is Colin…. My… My high school boyfriend." She explained, trying to smooth her words as best as possible.
"And her current one too." Colin finished, offering Danny his hand.
He was stunned. She'd left New York single and tortured and came back taken and happy. He stared at the man's hand for a moment before returning the gesture, realizing this man probably had no idea who he was or what he felt for Lindsay.
"Nice to meet you. Danny Messer. Lindsay and I are co-workers." He informed the taller man, his eyes on Lindsay the entire time.
The word 'co-worker' cut through her like a knife. She knew what he was doing and there
was no doubt, she felt bad about it.
He'd done the decent thing and given them a ride to Lindsay's apartment. But he'd barely spoken, opening his mouth only to answer questions. He'd barely nodded at them when they said their goodbyes.
He watched them head up the walk to her apartment. They looked happy, complete, like they belonged together. He lowered his head. He wished he could be happy for her.
Lindsay fought every urge in her body to look back, make eye contact, show some sign of remorse. She needed to keep her eyes forward, focus on the future.
The next day she returned to work. She'd been a bundle of nerves since she'd left the apartment and for good reason, she knew she owed Danny an explanation and he definitely was going to collect on it.
They'd been working in silence for over an hour before Danny broke down and confronted her.
"You could have called." He told her at last, not taking his eyes off the paperwork in front of him.
"I should have. I was… I didn't know what to say." She confessed, watching him openly now, wishing he would look at her.
"I dunno, why not 'Hey, don't bother waiting for me since I'm bringing a boyfriend home with me.'? That would have been good. Or maybe 'May not wanna hug me like there's no tomorrow, my boyfriend might see.' That woulda worked too." He finished, looking up at last.
Where she'd expected to see anger, she saw pain. She'd hurt him. She swallowed deeply. That was worse than anger. Anger she could deal with.
"I didn't… I wasn't… I didn't plan this Dan." She whispered softly.
"Yeah, well, I didn't plan on having feelings for you but shit happens." He replied coolly before dropping his folder into his outbox and heading out of the room.
They never spoke of it again.
End Flashback
It had been a painful year, watching him watch her, knowing he wanted to say something, but holding it back. More than once she'd wished he'd just said whatever it was he needed to say. But he didn't. That wasn't how Danny operated.
He hadn't even reacted when he found out she was engaged. Just nodded and walked off, as if she'd been showing him evidence instead of her ring.
She'd wrestled with whether or not she should invite him to the wedding, ultimately leaving the decision up to him. She'd handed him the invitation and told him it was his call.
Her best friend Amanda broke through her thoughts, knocking on the door. "Ready babe?" She asked, holding Lindsay's flowers out to her.
Lindsay offered her a small smile and took the flowers. She followed her maid of honor out the door and met her father in the hall.
She'd fought hard to have her wedding in New York and she'd won. It wasn't a large wedding but it was beautiful.
A moment later, she was heading down the aisle on her father's arm. The small congregation stood as the Wedding March began and she strode past her friends and family, her eyes on the man standing at the end of the pews.
She waited for the feeling of elation she was sure she was supposed to have when their eyes met as she approached. She prayed for it, hell, she dug for it. Nothing.
She took her place across from him after her father kissed her cheek and handed her off to her fiancé.
She gave him a smile that didn't reach her eyes. This man was perfect for her. So what if I don't have those little butterflies? I have a good, solid man. A man who would take care of her. A man who-
Her thoughts were interrupted by a door creaking. She glanced over and her heart stopped.
He came. I can't believe it, he actually showed up. She felt her heard beating in her throat and her stomach cinch into knots.
She forced her attention back to her fiancé, but felt her palms go hot and sweaty. She felt warm and damp all of a sudden. She needed air.
The preacher was looking at her. It was her turn to speak. It's now or never.
She leaned over to Colin. "I… I'm… I can't…. I can't do this." She whispered, feeling awful as his face completely fell.
"I want to love you the way you love me. I want to love you the way I'm supposed to, the way I love him. But I can't Colin. I'm sorry but I can't." She explained, her eyes filling with tears.
She dropped his hands and rushed down the aisle, past everyone, Danny included.
The whispering and murmuring began and everyone's eyes focused on the jilted groom.
"Sorry, thank you for coming but there won't be a wedding today." He choked out before heading out the back exit, into the back rooms of the church, the preacher right behind him.
Danny quietly slipped out the door and out into the busy city. His eyes scanned the immediate vicinity. She can't be far, she's in a white dress and heels for Christ sakes!
He searched for several hours, stopping at several of her favorite spots. He checked her apartment, the lab, the park, nothing.
It was almost midnight before he allowed himself to call it a night. He made his way back to his apartment, his steps slow and quiet. This wasn't exactly how I pictured this evening going.
He climbed the stairs of his apartment, keys in hand. He reached his floor and turned the corner, his eyes landing on a pile of white sleeping next to his door.
He felt a small grin forming on his face. He crouched down to get a better look at her. Her make up was practically gone, her hair was messy and plastered to her head, her dress was mostly intact, a few rips and stains had appeared since he'd last seen her.
He reached out and moved a stray piece of hair off her face. She stirred at the touch and slowly opened her deep brown eyes.
"What are you doin' here kiddo?" He whispered, pulling his hand back, his eyes searching hers for an answer.
"Waiting for you." She replied sleepily, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
"But why?" He pressed. He knew it was late and that he should probably cut her a break, given that she'd just ran out on her wedding to her first love. But he'd gone a year. A year without winking at her, touching her, calling her Montana, he couldn't just let it be and deal with it in the morning.
"Because I realized I didn't love him the way he loves me. Turns out, I love you instead." She told him softly, not meeting his penetrating gaze. She'd put him through hell the past year, only to land on his front step, telling him she loved him.
"Montana… God…" He sighed as he sat down next to her, not even realizing he'd slipped and used his favorite nickname.
She smiled at the sound of his nickname for her. "It's been a long time since you called me that." She whispered.
He nodded in agreement. "It's been a long time since I've been allowed to." He pointed out.
She turned to look at him, finally meeting his eyes. "Why did you come to my wedding?" She asked, not entirely sure if she wanted an answer.
"Because I figured it was time for me to grow up and be happy for the woman I loved, even if it meant watching her marry the man who was making her so happy." He confessed.
She felt her heart twist a little at his words. His intentions had been honest, he'd only wanted her to be happy.
"I wasn't so happy." She murmured, staring off into space.
"No?" He questioned, silently asking her to continue.
"At first, I thought it was romantic. I was crazy in love with him when I was 17, and I guess I just thought we'd pick up where we left off 10 years ago and nothing would have changed. But, as time went on, well, I guess I just realized the man I loved when I was 17, while he's still great, 10 years later, he's not the man I love now. At some point in the past 2 years I fell in love with a bad boy from New York. Maybe you know him? Blonde? Glasses? Ties to organized crime? Drives a motorcycle…." She trailed off, holding his gaze.
He smiled at her words and reached over, tucking her hair behind her ear.
"I missed you, you know that? Like in a way that would be embarrassing if anyone ever found out." He admitted as he got to his feet, offering her his hands to pull her up as he stood.
She tucked her hands into his and allowed him to pull her to her feet.
She waited for him to release her but he didn't. Instead he pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her. "I have wanted to do this for so long." He muttered, not giving her a chance to respond before leaning down and pressing his lips to hers.
She melted into his embrace as she felt her body tingle to life. She pressed herself closer to him as she threaded her fingers through his hair. He slid his tongue along the seam of her lips and she allowed him entrance, she'd craved this for too long to turn him down now.
A moment later, he pulled back. "Not that I don't thoroughly enjoy kissing you, but maybe you want to come in? Change out of the wedding dress?" He suggested, putting his key in the lock.
He swung the door open and waited for her to cross. "Wanna carry me?" She teased, not at all serious in her question.
He gave her a sly smile and before she could react he bent over and scooped her up, throwing her over his shoulder.
"Danny! Don't you dare drop me!" She shrieked, gripping him around the waist in surprise.
He laughed at her reaction, shifting her as he started in the door.
"Welcome back Montana."
This is for all those who miss my Danny/Lindsay stories!!