A/N: I had a lot of fun with this chapter. Having had some very creepy people break in my house recently, I have a very low patience level with criminals. The second part of this chapter is a scene I would love to be able to play out... and by the way, yes, I am a big fan of Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry Callahan. :)

The Room of Requirement
Later that night

Harry sat cross-legged in the center of the Room of Requirement on a soft foam mat. Ron, Lupin, Hermione, Ginny, and Tonks were sitting in front of him in a semicircle. The lights were muted and relaxing candles giving off the scent of the forest burned around them. This was Harry's show, but they were there to give him moral support and intervene if things got out of hand.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" a concerned Remus asked.

"Yes, I need to start it now before I lose my nerve." He reached out his hands and the others clasped them, giving him an anchor to reality. He then put Voldemort's image firmly in his mind and reached out across time and space.

"Oh Tommy… Little Tommy Riddle… Where are you, you self important fool?" Harry broadcast with everything he had.

The Former Riddle Estate

Lord Voldemort sat in a large chair petting Nagini. He had just called in Bellatrix Lestrange to give her an assignment when a searing pain shot through his head and the voice of the person he hated the most blasted through his consciousness.

"Oh Tommy… Little Tommy Riddle… Where are you, you self important fool?"

"Potter!" he hissed. "You should be dead! Or at least insane by now!"

"No such luck, tall, dark and ugly. The only insane on in this conversation is you. Also the only dead one. It's just that you are too damn stupid to realize that you're dead and fall down." Harry's 'voice' was confident, no, downright cocky, and this confused Voldemort. He quickly shook off the feeling.

"Little fool! Have you forgotten what I have done to your loved ones and what I have done and will do to you?" Voldemort sent the images of Harry's father and mother being killed.

"Yeah, Tommy, but you left out something. A big something." Voldemort suddenly saw the image of himself casting the killing curse at the one year old Harry, the curse rebounding and hitting him. He felt the pain shoot through himself just as it did that night. He screamed.

"Yes, Tommy. I whipped your arse that night when I was only one year old. Here's another golden oldie that you might like." Voldemort then saw the himself attached to the back of Professor Quirrel's head. "Remember what happened there? How I took the Sorcerer's Stone? And sent your arse packing….again? Here, let me show you." Voldemort attempted to break the connection, but couldn't. He did, however show Harry the scenes of Sirius falling through the Veil and Cedric Diggory receiving the killing curse.

"Yes, so you kill innocent people. Or have them killed. You had Pettigrew kill Cedric and Bella killed Sirius. You haven't even got the cajones to do your own dirty work. You're nothing but a bully with a gang to back you up. Even when I ended up in that graveyard, you had to have someone else go get me. And you still had your gang in back of you in case you couldn't finish the job. And guess what, fool? You didn't finish the job. I lived, so even though you got that monstrosity of a body, you lost. As far as the innocent folks, the ones who didn't ask or volunteer for this war, those that you killed? I'm coming to bring justice to you for them. I have it on really good authority that they are demanding payback, and I am the collector."

"Face it Riddle, you're a loser. I have waxed your arse every time we have met. I am through with letting you affect me. When this is over, you are going to rot in your grave while everyone celebrates. See, I have a secret. I don't fear death. I know what is on the Other Side, and I look forward to going there when my time here is over. You on the other hand are scared to death, so to speak. There is no redemption for you. As far as I am concerned, without your punk-ass Death Eaters, you are nothing at all. I'm coming for you ….punk."

Voldemort suddenly felt the connection to Harry disappear. In a rage, he cast his eyes around, spotting Bella.

"Master, is there a problem?" Bella asked with concern.

"CRUCIO!" Voldemort had his wand out and cast the curse. He couldn't think, he could only lash out. Bella dropped to the floor, screaming. "HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME!" He let her lay in agony for at least five minutes while he composed himself. Lifting the curse from Bella, he then summoned in all of his Death Eaters.

"Potter is alive. I want him dead, him and all of his friends. I have been saving him for myself, but if anyone finds him and kills him, they will be my most favored. Find them, kill them!" With that, Voldemort dismissed them.

Room of Requirement"YES!" Harry opened his eyes to see the stunned faces of his friends. "What's the matter?"

"You were bloody magnificent!" Ron said.

"How do you know?"

"I think everyone in Scotland knows. You were broadcasting so loud that we all heard you. We didn't get anything from Voldemort though. What was his side of the conversation?" Harry quickly filled them in.

Hermione jumped in. "What was all of that you were saying?"

"Well, when I was in Texas, I had to learn what was called "trash talkin'" What you heard was the way that professional wrestlers speak during interviews. Riddle is not the only one now who can do psychological warfare. I plan to hound him until we meet. I am going back in to see what he is doing."

With that, Harry closed his eyes again and sought out Voldemort. This time he did not announce his presence. He saw Bella being tortured and thought that it could not have happened to a more deserving person. He then watched as Voldemort issued his orders for Harry's and his friend's deaths. When the Death Eaters had left, Voldemort reached down to stroke Nagini. Sensing Harry, Nagini bit Voldemort. Harry withdrew, then started to giggle uncontrollably.

"We may not have to worry about Nagini. He may kill her himself." Harry explained what happened. "We do need to make sure that everyone is protected though. With that, the meeting broke up and they all headed down to the kitchen to score some chocolate from the house elves.

Diagon Alley
The next day

Dudley had stopped in at Gringott's to check on the financial condition of his vault and pull out a bit of money to do some shopping. He had come alone over the objections of, well, everybody.

"You must be daft, boy!" This was from Mad-Eye Moody. "The enemy would give a lot to have Harry's wizard relative in their hands."

"But that's just it, Moody. No one knows that I am Harry's cousin. The last they have seen of Harry's cousin, he was a fat, British muggle. Now, do I appear to be either fat, British, or a muggle? Or would I look like an American tourist from Texas, a country which so far has decided to be neutral in this war because none of their citizens have been affected?"

It was true. Dudley now stood 6'2", muscled, wearing a moustache and goatee. He was dressed in western wear with a Stetson and boots. He had changed his bolo tie so that it now had a map of Texas in turquoise and silver. He also had lost his British accent and now spoke like a Texas native. All in all, he made for quite an impressive wizard. It helped that he had gone through a growth spurt during the summer. The inch and a half tall boot heels didn't hurt either. He was not the Dudley that Hagrid had pinned the pig's tail to.

Although they wanted to send an escort with him, Dudley nixed the idea. "You send someone with me, you might as well paint "Order of the Phoenix" and "Harry Potter's Pal" across my chest."

So now Dudley was strolling down the Alley towards Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes. When he walked in the door, he saw that there was a battle going on. Two Death Eaters and the twins were behind different rows of cases firing curses at each other. The Death Eaters did not notice him come in, their backs to him. Drawing his dueling wand, he reversed it and cracked one Death Eater up the side of his head with the brass knob. The Death Eater dropped to the floor unconscious and Dudley grabbed the man's wand and snapped it. The other Death Eater had not seen this happen, but when Dudley came around and smacked the Death Eater's wand arm with the knob, causing him to drop his wand, he took notice. The Death Eater spun around holding his arm and saw Dudley flip the wand around to point at his chest. He then glanced over at his own wand laying a good four feet from him. Dudley saw that sideways look and smiled.

"You're probably asking yourself what the hell this yank is pointing at you. Well, I'll tell you. It is a professional grade dueling wand, eighteen inches long and enough bad attitude to blow a hole in you big enough to drive the Knight Bus through. And that would be with a simple disarming spell when I am in a good mood. But I'm pissed right now, and that means that I don't even have to speak, the wand reads my moods and acts accordingly. Now you may be asking yourself if a wizard as young as myself can even handle a wand like this. You're probably wondering if you can get to your wand before I put that bus-sized hole in you." Dudley said all of this with a deep Texas drawl while Fred and George looked on, also holding their wands on the Death Eater. "Now I guess what you have to ask yourself is this. Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya….PUNK?"

At this, the Death Eater screamed, "ACCIO….. " and all of the frustration and anger that Dudley was feeling blasted out from the end of his wand. A purple beam shot from the end of the dueling wand and hit the Death Eater before he could finish calling his wand to his hand. The curse hit the Death Eater, picking him up and throwing him across the room into a display shelf, which collapsed on him. The twins quickly bound both unconscious Death Eaters and gathered their wands. Since all shops in Diagon Alley had anti-appearation spells to discourage shoplifters, the pair would not be able to get away, even if they did come to.

Fred quickly searched the Death Eaters for extra wands while George called for the Aurors. Dudley walked over and pulled the masks off of the Death Eaters. Fred started.

"Good catch, mister. This one here is Rudolphus Lestrange and the other's name is Crabbe." Although the twins knew who Dudley was, they played dumb in order to keep his identity under wraps. "It looks like you broke every bone in Lestrange's body. But you need to move out of here before the Aurors get here unless you want to answer a bunch of questions and get your name and picture in the paper."

"Good idea." Pulling Fred aside, he gave him a list and asked him to send the items to him at Hogwarts. He started to pull out his money pouch, but Fred stopped him.

"Hey, pal, your money is no good here. You just saved our butts, even if you had to break a few things to do it. If you think that I am going to take your money after that, you're sorely mistaken. I'll have this stuff delivered to your, uh, hotel. Now you better scoot, I sense that the Aurors are pretty darn close." Dudley quickly left and hurried toward the Leaky Cauldron before the Aurors arrived.