A/N: Thanks for the reviews!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
My Big Date
ACT 1
SCENE 1
J.D. AND ANDREA ARE LAYING IN HER BED AT HER APARTMENT
J.D.: its nice waking up in a new place with a pretty girl I didn't sleep much last night because I stayed up and watched Andrea sleep. It's the only time where she looks peaceful and not going to hurt me.
ANDREA KICKS HIM IN THE LEG
J.D.: Ow! Or not, anyway she looked like an angel. I wonder if this is what Dr. Cox looks like when he sleeps
JORDAN AND PERRY'S APARTMENT
PERRY IS LYING NEXT TO JORDAN WITH HIS NOSTRIALS FLARED LIKE A BULL.
ANDREA'S APARTMENT
J.D.: Maybe not… wait why am I thinking about Dr. Cox when I'm in bed with a hot girl?
Andrea: (wakes up and screams)
J.D.: Good morning sunshine!
Andrea: (pushes him out of bed) what are you doing here?
J.D.: (on the floor behind the bed) you asked me to spend the night.
Andrea: (confused) when did I do that? Why would I do that?
J.D.: You asked me to give you a ride home.
Andrea: And you took that as you could ride me?
J.D.: You crashed as soon as you hit the pillow.
Andrea: Oh thank god.
J.D.: And last night you told me you liked me.
Andrea: Damn. I really need to lay off the valium.
END OF SCENE
OPENING
ACT 1
SCENE 2
ENTRANCE OF SACRED HEART
J.D.: so after the awkwardness of this morning Andrea gave me a ride to work. Even though she made me get out of the car two blocks away, it was still really sweet of her. (Walks up to the nurses station)
Andrea: What took you so long? I have been waiting for you for about twenty minutes.
J.D.: (opens his mouth to speak)
Andrea: (cuts him off) we have a patient in 212 that needs a spinal tap. (Walks away)
Elliot: (walks up to him and shoves a bag at him) Where were you last night?
J.D.: Thanks for bringing my scrubs Elliot.
Elliot: Well you can't wear the same ones you wore yesterday… oh wait… you did the walk of shame.
J.D.: Well … not exactly.
Janitor: Then why did I see you walking a block to work?
J.D.: I like singing in the rain.
Elliot: No you don't, you hate the rain more then you hate snow cones.
J.D.: Come on, it's just frozen flavored water. Anyone could have thought of that. And it doesn't even taste that good. (Starts to walk down the hall with Elliot in toe)
Elliot: So come on, out with it.
J.D.: Well I gave Andrea a ride home last night…. And
Elliot: And then you rode her?
J.D.: No I did not ride her…
Elliot: I figured that you wouldn't get her in the sack; she is out of your league.
J.D.: She rode me.
Elliot: (amazed) really?
J.D.: Uh yeah…..
Elliot: So what's she like?
J.D.: she is uh… well… you know I don't kiss and tell.
Elliot: Oh please! When you and I where together you told everyone. (flash back to J.D. running around the hospital yelling I made out with Elliot)
J.D.: Not true.
Elliot: Yeah because remember Dr. Kelso thought you were gay for like a week and tried to set you up with his son. Well that really didn't have anything to do with him thinking you're gay.
J.D.: Nu uh…
Andrea: (is down the hall) Dr. Dorian lets go!
J.D.: (to Elliot) I got to go.
Elliot: Oh a quickie before rounds? (As J.D. walks away)
Jordan: (walks out from a patient's room) So DJ slept with Perry's daughter?
Elliot: Uhh... No?
Jordan: Because that's not what I heard. (Holds up a tape recorder and plays J.D saying she rode me)
Elliot: Frick!
Jordan: wow… I wonder how Perry will react…
Elliot: you wouldn't actually do that would you?
Jordan: (looks at her strangely) are you new here?
END OF SCENE
ACT 1
SCENE 3
INT. ENTRANCE
Perry: Alright Mr. Coreman… what are you here for this week?
Mr. Coreman: I have been having a lot of pain in my stomach these last couple of days. (looks like he is in sever pain)
Perry: Alright Mr. Coreman I'll admit you.
Mr. Coreman: Remember, you said free medical care for life.
Perry: Yes I remember, I also remember getting woken up at two in the morning after a double shift last week because you had an abnormality growing on your foot.
Mr. Coreman: Well I wanted to be sure it was a wart.
Perry: any genus at the free clinic could have told you that one.
Mr. Coreman: Thanks for your home number again.
Perry: No problem… so why don't you go on to triage while I go grab your file.
Mr. Coreman: See ya in a few doc.
Perry: (fake smile) can't wait!
Carla: (at desk) Good morning Dr. Cox!
Perry: Yeah… what's so good about it?
Carla: Rough night?
Perry: Jordan didn't take the news on Andrea very well.
Carla: Couldn't see that one coming…
Perry: Alright, maybe I should have told her… but she can't be mad at me for doing something that happened before we were together.
Carla: Lying by omission is still lying.
Perry: That's all marriage is…
Carla: You should just go apologize, I'm sure she would be willing to accept Andrea as part of the family.
Perry: What family? We aren't even married!
Carla: You have been living with her for how long?
Perry: about four years…
Carla: Three more to go and you guys are married again.
Perry: What?
Carla: A common law marriage
Perry: if they have something like that to make it easy for people to marry they should have something that easy for a divorce.
Carla: Look she is pregnant, she is taking things a little bit harder then she normally would.
Perry: If men just slipped a little whiskey in their wives drinks when they knocked them up this world would be a happier place.
Carla: Hey! I'm pregnant too you know.
Perry: You're right; I'll go talk to Gandhi.
END OF SCENE
ACT 1
SCENE 4
EXAMINING ROOM
J.D.: Alright Ms. Davis we are going to put in an order for a cat scan.
Andrea: Excuse me Ms. Davis but Dr. Dorian (gets bitchy) I need to see you outside.
J.D.: (follows Andrea outside) what?
Andrea: That is our patient which means we have to decide together how we are going to treat her. You have to consult me first before you go off ordering things.
J.D.: Ms. Davis needs a cat scan.
Andrea: No she doesn't, she had a twenty minute panic attack and then blacked out for forty five minutes. She did not respond to the vinsky reflex, she could have had an aneurism. We need to give her a spinal tap.
J.D.: I really don't think it is that serious.
Andrea: Ms. Davis has been in and out of the hospital for the past three months because of the same problem and no doctor here has given her a spinal tap. I think its time someone did it. So go back in there and tell her.
J.D.: Is this about last night?
Andrea: (angrily) What are you talking about?
J.D.: You are embarrassed about last night so now you have to act like little miss know it all so you feel better about yourself.
Andrea: I don't have to act, I do know it all. And second of all I am not embarrassed about last night.
J.D.: Prove it.
Andrea: Okay, pick me up at seven.. (Getting pissed off)
J.D.: It's a date! (Yells at her)
Andrea: (louder) now go back in there and tell her we are giving her a spinal tap!
J.D.: Fine!
(Back in the examining room)
Ms. Davis: What are you so happy about?
J.D.: (smiling) I have a date.
Ms. Davis: With who?
J.D.: Dr. Cox.
Ms. Davis: That evil blood sucking woman that was just in here?
J.D.: Yeah isn't she lovely?
(Cut back into the hallway)
Jordan: (walks up to Andrea) So I heard from unnamed source (coughs) Dr. Reid (coughs) that you did the horizontal mattress dance with Dr. Beanpole.
Andrea: What the hell are you talking about?
Jordan: Oh don't hide it honey, I had sex with him too… Well its not something I go around telling people either but…
Andrea: What?
Jordan: Do you think I'm stupid…. I know you didn't have sex with DJ… but he is going around saying you did.
Andrea: that jackass just tricked me into a date.
Jordan: And you call yourself Perry's daughter.
Andrea: So what am I going to do?
Jordan: Sweetie, if you are going to be part of this family you got to think on your feet.
Andrea: Sorry I'm just in shock that I got a fast one pulled on me. This has only happened like twice in my life
Jordan: If we team up, we can rule the hospital.
Andrea: But you already rule the hospital, you are on the board of trustee's
Jordan: Fine we can have Perry and DJ by the balls.
Andrea: And why should I trust you?
Jordan: Because I have been screwing your father over for years now… but ever since Jack got here it's been harder. I need you're help.
Andrea: (looks shocked) I'm honored. I know you have never said that before.
Jordan: Alright let's go to my office so I can tell you what we have got to do.
END OF SCENE
COMMERICAL
ACT 2
SCENE 1
LUNCHROOM
Elliot: (runs up to the table Carla is at and slams her tray down) you have got to help me.
Carla: What happened?
Elliot: Well this morning J.D. was gloating to me about how he slept with Andrea and Jordan heard the entire thing and she is going to tell Dr. Cox.
Carla: What J.D. slept with that bitch?
Elliot: Carla focus, Jordan is going to tell Dr. Cox. (Looks over and sees Andrea and Jordan sitting at a table together) Oh no!
Carla: What? She is probably just getting Andrea's side of the story.
Elliot: They look awfully buddy-buddy… You don't think that they teamed up so that Dr. Cox would kill J.D.
Carla: Woo… Elliot, I'm cutting you off from chocolate. (takes candy bar off her tray)
Elliot: give it back! (she says reaching for it)
Carla: Elliot, don't fight with a pregnant woman if you want to keep both your arms (opens candy bar and starts to eat it)
J.D AND TURK JOIN THEM
Carla: What are you so happy about Bambi?
J.D.: I have a date tonight with Andrea.
Turk: I still don't see why that would make anyone happy. Except a deaf blind man.
Carla: Bambi likes her because she is controlling so he can't make decisions. Which means he doesn't have to think about the relationship, cause once he starts to think about the relationship…
Turk and Elliot: He freaks out.
J.D.: I do not freak out.
Carla: Yes you do, you did it with Elliot and Kylie…
Turk: Marcy in college…
Elliot: sometimes you can even get that way with patients.
J.D.: Carla, you're nosey you know that. (gets up and starts to leave)
Carla: well to bad you think that because I know something that you don't know…
J.D.: What are you four?
Carla: Jordan knows you slept with Andrea.
J.D.: What?
Turk: (laughs)
Elliot: Yeah he deserves to get whatever she is planning.
Turk: No… he didn't even sleep with Andrea… he just said that to you this morning cause you were giving him a hard time.
J.D.: Seems like none of my friends can keep there mouth shuts.
Everyone at the table begins to laugh.
Turk: This can't get any better
Andrea: (walks over to J.D.) So for our date tonight, we are going to have dinner at Jordan and Perry's. (Kisses his cheek and walks away)
Turk: I spoke too soon!
END OF SCENE
ACT 2
SCENE 2
PATIENTS ROOM
Perry: So what have you been experiencing?
Mr. Coreman: Bloody diarrhea
Perry: (makes a face) how can you say that contently?
Mr. Coleman: Because this isn't going to cost me a thing.
Perry: Alright, we are going to have to do some blood work.
Mr. Coleman: Do you need me to give you a stool sample?
Perry: (disgustedly) No. We are going to use a needle to draw your blood from your arm. You've got a sick sense of humor. (walks out of the room)
Jordan: Perry!
Perry: Oh… (Grunts then turn around to face her) Yes sweetheart? (Fake happy)
Jordan: I just wanted to let you know that Andrea will be coming over for dinner tonight.
Perry: Oh won't that be delightful.
Jordan: And she is going to bring a date.
Perry: (pissed off) Now Jordan, I know you are just trying to get my hypertension through the rough so that I could die and you might be able to get your gold digging paws around my life insurance policy. But there is a flaw in your plan because you see since we got divorced my will has everything left to Andrea. And I know how you rehellleally want that money so maybe you should just wait three more years when you are my common law wife before you try to kill me.
Jordan: I'm not out for your money, I got more money from you in the divorce then I would get from your life insurance policy. Believe me; I had my lawyer check that out when we were separated.
Perry: Fine go along with this little plan but believe me when we are married again next divorce you are going to have to pay me alimony.
Jordan: I control this hospital, which means I control you (she yells as he walks away)
END OF SCENE
ACT 2
SCENE 3
INT. HOSPTIAL ENTRANCE. JD IS SIGNING OUT AND TURK WALKS UP.
Turk: Good luck man.
J.D.: Thanks,
Turk: I'm sorry about earlier … it wasn't even that funny.
J.D.: I know…
Turk: But you think you could do me a favor?
J.D.: Name it.
Turk: Video tape the dinner for me tonight. Now that's going to be hilarious.
J.D. WALKS OFF
END OF SCENE
ACT 2
SCENE 4
JORDAN AND PERRY'S APARTMENT
Perry: Why are we having dinner with them anyway? No one is going to eat because of all the tension and because you're cooking is toxic. We should just invite them over for drinks and open up your medicine cabinet. Now I know mixing pills and liquor is bad but it will give me something to do tomorrow instead of just spend the whole day avoiding you.
Jordan: Aww honey you ruined my whole plan. See I really did want all that money so I was going to poison your food… but I guess there are too many witnesses so I guess that plans out.
KNOCK ON THE DOOR
Jordan: Oh good they are here! (opens door)
Andrea: (walks in and hugs Perry) Daddy!
Perry: So where is your date?
Andrea: Oh he is just being shy. (calls out the door) Come in honey! (when no one comes in) Hold on. (walks out into the hallway and pulls J.D. in by the collar)
Perry: Newbie?
J.D.: Dr. Cox. (waves)
Perry: You two are dating?
Andrea: (smiles evilly) Oh yeah, and we slept together last night.
Perry: (starts walking towards J.D.) You what…
J.D.: No no, she fell asleep when we got back to her place.
Perry: And you raped her while she slept.
J.D.: No! I just slept in the bed with her.. and look at the time. I should be going (runs out of the door with Dr. Cox quickly behind him) I learned something today, Lying whether it be by omission…
(cut to Perry and Jordan's apartment)
Perry: (walks in)
Jordan: Feel better now after you kicked the crap out of DJ?
Perry: Look Jordan, I am sorry that I didn't tell you about Andrea… I left her because I couldn't deal with it and I felt like if I didn't tell anyone about it I wouldn't ever have to deal with it.
Jordan: Why did you think that? You know God's out to get you.
Perry: I know.
Jordan: Oh and by the way… we do not have to get married again even if we do live with each other for seven years.
Perry: We don't?
Jordan: Yeah as long as I don't want to take your name. And why would I want to do that? Cox is a really bad last name.
Perry: I knew there was a reason I loved you.
END OF SCENE
ACT 2
SCENE 5
ANDREA'S APARTMENT
J.D.: Or just by blatantly lying are equally as wrong. Andrea, I'm sorry I don't even know why I said that.
Andrea: It was really immature.
J.D.: yeah well I can be that way sometimes.
Andrea: But I mean I can see why you would say that. I mean I know I'm hot and most of the doctors at the hospital would be jealous of you.
J.D.: (laughs)
Andrea: (laughs) no but I am flattered.
J.D.: Yeah well I think I have a broken rib.
Andrea: That's what you get for pissing off my dad.
J.D.: Your dad didn't even lay a hand on me. I fell running down the stairs away from him.
Andrea: Well you better start thinking of better ways to out smart my dad.
J.D.: I have been working with him for five years and I still can't do it.
Andrea: You got to do something different if we are going to date.
J.D.: Really? We are going to date.
Andrea: Yeah, I have a confession to make too. I was embarrassed for telling you the way that I did that I like you. But I do. And I call the shots in the relationships. So be careful or you won't just have one Cox out to get you.
J.D.: (salutes her) Yes Ma'am.
Andrea: (points to the bedroom) now get in there! (slaps his ass)
J.D.: Are we gonna do it?
Andrea: No you are going to give me a foot massage after all the crap you put me through today.
J.D.: Ahh so that's what they call it now (Andrea pushes him and he grabs her arms and kisses her)
Andrea: Alright you have ten minutes to show me your best moves. If you are good I will consider it, if not you are sleeping on the couch.
J.D.: You can't just sprint through this, it's a marathon.
Andrea: Time starts now!
J.D.: (picks her up and throws her over her shoulder) ahh definitely broke a rib!
Andrea: (sarcastically) Oh that turns me on!
J.D.: Well then wait till you hear about the scar on my back (shuts the bedroom door)
END OF SCENE
FADE OUT
A/N: Sorry if the characters are a little off and if it wasn't that funny. I had a little trouble writing this. It didn't flow out as easy as the other one did. Hopefully next chapter is better!