Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, this wouldn't be called a fanfic; it would be called Book 7
Author: Dragwena (sister of Jagwena)
Chapter 3 : Meanwhile…
Meanwhile, on a planet no one had ever heard of (it was so evil), a place no one spoke of (only depraved ones visited it) at a time everyone thought was ungodly, little old Voldy was drinking a strawberry milkshake at 5 o'clock on a Saturday evening at Mc Donald's.
He had nearly finished his drink; all that remained was the little frothy bit no one can ever reach with their straws, and still Wormtail hadn't arrived. Bored, he opened the plastic lid and scooped out the unreachable froth with his fingers, making many muggle mothers look at him with apprehension, while their children watched him with fascination.
He was ecstatic on having got the unattainable, and then lovingly cleaned out the cup. The delight in doing that, and the delight in randomly "Avada Kedavra-ing" all muggle children who pointed him out to their mothers, died surprisingly quickly. He had always had a short attention span. Dumbledore, as Voldy's transfiguration teacher, had once written the following comment in Tom Riddle's report card:
"Tom gets remarkably brilliant scores, however, that is to be expected of him. What I congratulate him upon, is the shortness of his attention span which could rival that of a fruit-fly's."
Tom had framed that comment, and sent it to his dear papa, who promptly sent him a fruit cake. (Obviously, this event took place before Voldy killed his dear papa.) However, the fruit cake did not contain any apples (his favourite fruit), and so he killed his dear papa, and his grandparents too for good measure, as his grandma had probably made the cake.
Voldy sighed… still no Wormtail… it was already 5:15! What was he playing at ? So as not to die of boredom, he cast the "Tarantallegra" spell on a balding muggle father carrying two fully-loaded trays in either hand. Laughing hysterically (in his classic high pitched laugh) at the dancing father, he suddenly realised that nearly all the grown-ups in the place were commenting on the strangeness of a near-seventy year old man cackling in such an ungainly manner in public. Rolling his eyes, he lazily cast "Avada Kedavra" on a muggle girl, looking at him as if he were her hero, who was much too close for comfort.
Then, he finally caught sight of Wormtail's watery-blue eyes looking straight at him.
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