A/N: Alright so I didn't see all the episodes in season 5 and I realize that in the last episode I had the part about the nursery which was done on the show… so sorry. In this episode JD has another fantasy scene about west side story but not like the one in season one. I hope you guys like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

My Maria

ACT 1
SCENE 1

JD IS IN ANDREA'S ROOM BY HIMSELF WITH THE DOOR OPEN

J.D.: The thing about new relationships is that you are afraid to have your first fight because you are still learning about that person buttons. But your first fight makes you a real couple. After Andrea dropped the bomb about being friends with Elliot I decided that I should be honest with Andrea and tell her how I felt about that. (walks out into the kitchen)

Andrea: (groggily) I made coffee.

J.D.: She looks so cute in the morning with the crust in her eyes and her hair going every which way. Maybe I could get a little something- something before work… plus she is not a morning person so maybe I should save this talk till later.

FANTASY SCENE:

AT THE HOSPITAL AT THE NURSES STATION

J.D.: So Andrea… I was thinking that maybe you should get your own friends. And stop hanging out with mine.

Andrea: Okay.

J.D.: Really? You're not mad?

Andrea: I'm not mad. (all the hospital staff now paying attention)

J.D.: That's awesome.

Andrea: (getting madder, and turning into the hulk) I'm furious! Who are you to tell me who I can and can't hang out with? How about you grow a pair of balls and suck it up. Because I can tell you one thing I'm not backing down. And I will make you break waaaaaaaay before you can make me.

J.D.: (just stares at her)

Andrea: You want to go? Cause I'm so ready… you are going to be glad you are already in a hospital when I am done with you.

J.D.: (clicks heels together) there's no place like home….

END OF FANTASY SCENE

J.D.: (in kitchen still clicking his feet) there's no place like home…. There's no place like home.

Andrea: Okay Dorothy, I just asked you if you wanted to spend the weekend but if you want to go back to Elliot's…

J.D.: No that would be cool. Alright now's the best time to tell her

Andrea: Okay, I'm going to go get in the shower… (starts to walk away)

J.D.: Uh… actually I have to talk to you about something.

Andrea: (walks back) okay…

J.D.: So I think that its nice you are trying to become friends with my friends.

Andrea: Yeah they are really nice and I think it's important I'm friends with your friends. Because if I don't like them then this isn't going to work and I mean its hard being new here and not knowing anyone. It's really great of them to reach out like that.

J.D.: crap… this is going to be harder then I thought. (Fake smile) uh huh. But I think it would be good if you reached out and made your own friends, separate from mine.

Andrea: (sarcastically) um… okay…

J.D.: No I'm being serious.

Andrea: And so am I.

J.D.: Look it's not even that they are really friends with you. Like Turk, he only likes you cause you bought him the Brady Bunch on DVD and Elliot, she just likes to make fun of me in bed so that's all you guys have really bonded over.

Andrea: (frowns) and our love for taco's.

J.D.: Yeah whatever… And you even have an in with my mentor.

Andrea: He is my father!

J.D.: See the only person that isn't pretending to like you is Carla.

Andrea: and my father….

J.D.: Its just important if we don't spend all our time together.

Andrea: That won't be a problem.

J.D.: Really?

Andrea: Yeah because you won't be spending the weekend here. Now get out!

J.D.: (scared, walks to the door before closing it sticks his head in) See you at work Sweetie.

Andrea: (throws a pot at him. The pot hits him before he has a chance to close the door)

END OF SCENE

OPENING

ACT 1
SCENE 2

NURSES STATION

Elliot: Hey Andrea, you want to do rounds today together?

Andrea :( reading something pretending to be uninterested) nope

Elliot: Okay, you want to get lunch later?

Andrea: Can't. (Closes file)

Elliot: What's wrong with you today?

Andrea: (faces her) J.D. said we couldn't be friends anymore (walks away)

Carla: (walks up) so what's going on?

Elliot: (disbelief) J.D. said that Andrea and I couldn't be friends anymore.

Carla: (ecstatic) that's great!

Elliot: What?

Carla: I mean that's terrible!

Elliot: I mean how can you tell someone who they can and can't hang out with?

Carla: I'm sure J.D. has got his reasons and is just looking out for your best interest.

J.D. :( Approaches them) actually I just think its weird if my ex girlfriend is friends with my girlfriend.

Elliot: You know you are a giant ass. Now all I got is Carla!

Carla: Hey!

Elliot: Sorry but you are just so self absorbed right now with this whole baby thing. I need other girlie friends. And J.D. I know you have some really gay tendencies but that doesn't count.

J.D.: I just think this is best.

Elliot: (walks past him) you shouldn't think.

J.D.: Yeah this is really not working out for me…

Perry: (whistles) Betty, get your ass over here.

J.D.: If this is about the bed pan thing… I really thought that Lavern cleaned that up.

Perry: What? Look Newbie, you really upset Andrea. Now while I don't want to get involved in your sick love fest you call a relationship, when she isn't happy I don't just have one hyena of a woman growling at me I have two. So you better go fix whatever you did to her and whatever you did with the bed pans. Or so help me your bruised rib won't be from falling down the stairs trying to get away from me. (Walks off)

J.D.: Oh don't you worry… the bed pans are already taken care of! (Calls after him)

END OF SCENE

ACT 1
SCENE 3

CUT TO OPERATING ROOM

Turk: Alright Dr. Wen I'm ready for that triple bypass! (Walks in) You're not Dr. Wen.

Dr. Cunningham: I'm Dr. Cunningham, I'm a dentist. And I have this OR reserved to remove someone's wisdom teeth.

Turk: You don't need to use the OR to remove someone's wisdom teeth.

Dr. Cunningham: I know, but I just moved my practice here from Wisconsin and so the only place I have proper licensing to use anesthesia is in this hospital. So I had my secretary book this OR, which means that you won't be doing a triple bypass in here until at least (looks at watch) eleven.

Turk: You can't do that!

Dr. Cunningham: (walks towards him which gets Turk to retreat) I can and I did! (Slams door shut on Turks face)

END OF SCENE

ACT 1
SCENE 4

CUT TO ENTRANCE


JD: Andrea, who are you doing rounds with today?

Andrea: Oh, I'm doing them with Keith.

JD: You don't want to do them together?

Andrea: Nope…

JD: Still mad about this morning?

Andrea: You are very receptive to people's feelings. Come on Dr. Dudemiester!

Keith: (walks up) Good morning Dr. Dorian.

JD: (walks with them) I can't believe you are doing this.

Andrea: You told me to make my own friends so I am.

JD: Yeah with Elliot's boyfriend.

Andrea: So you are friends with Keith's girlfriend.

JD: You are crazy!

Andrea: (walks off with Keith) Like I never heard that one before!

Jordan :( walks up to him) so sensitive sally, trouble in paradise?

J.D: aren't you supposed to be waxing your upper lip?

Jordan: Jacks at school and Perry is working, I don't have much going on.

J.D.: There's no bars open at this hour?

Jordan: Why do you care so much about who Andrea hangs out with?

J.D.: This isn't any of your business.

Jordan: I know, but it's funny to see you squirm.

J.D.: Are you just going to follow me around until I tell you?

Jordan: Well now I'm going to…

J.D.: Fantastic

END OF SCENE

COMMERICAL

ACT 2
SCENE 1

CUT TO DR. KELSO'S OFFICE

Dr. Kelso: Turkleton, and what do I owe the pleasure?

Turk: Do you know that there is some dentist in the OR saying that he is going to remove someone's wisdom teeth and we can't do surgery for another two hours.

Dr. Kelso: Well who allowed that?

Turk: I have no idea.

Dr. Kelso: Ted!

Ted: Yes sir

Dr. Kelso: is there anything in the hospital records about dentists using the OR?

Ted: I don't think so sir…

Dr. Kelso: Well now there is! Write this down Ted. If a patient will be receiving dential work that will be resulting in the closing of the OR the patient must schizophrenic.

Turk: That is awesome!

Dr. Kelso: Now go give this to that dentist. I don't want him in here if we aren't going to get any money for it!

Turk: Right away sir!

END OF SCENE

ACT 2
SCENE 2

LUNCH ROOM

J.D.: Look at her. How can she be so insensitive like that?

Carla: What do you mean?

J.D.: She wouldn't eat lunch with me today.

Elliot: You were the one that told her to go make her own friends and stop hanging out with yours. Of course she isn't going to eat with you.

J.D.: Yeah well your boyfriend is over there with her.

Elliot: Yeah and so is her father and the Janitor.

J.D.: See what I mean… all the people that either hates me or I despise them at one table.

Carla: Then why are you dating her?

J.D.: Because she makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Turk: (walks up) Whats going on?

J.D.: Andrea is eating lunch with my nemeses

FANTASY SCENE

HALLWAY. JD, TURK, ELLIOT AND CARLA ARE DRESSED UP LIKE

THE JETS FROM WEST SIDE STORY. STANDING ACROSS FROM THEM ARE ANDREA, PERRY, KEITH AND THE JANITOR. THEY ARE ALL DRESSED UP LIKE THE SHARKS.

CUT BACK TO THE LUNCH ROOM

Carla: Bambi, if I am going to be in your fantasy you are going to have to put me on the Sharks, after all I'm Latino.

J.D.: But you're Dominican not Puerto Rican.

Carla: I'm still Latino!

J.D.: Fine! Traitor

BACK TO FANTASY SCENE

COOL IS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND AND THE JETS ARE SNAPPING THEIR FINGERS AS THEY WALK DOWN THE HALLWAY TOWARDS THE SHARKS

Elliot: Just play it cool, boy, real cool.

AMERICA PLAYS AND THE CAMERA TURNS TO FOCUS ON THE OTHERSIDE OF THE HALLWAY AS THE SHARKS COME DOWN THE HALLWAY.

Carla: I like to be in America, O.K. by me in America

Everyone: Shut up Carla!

Carla: I was just trying to bring some spice into this!

J.D.: Maria! I just met a girl named Maria!

SOUND OF A SHOT AND J.D. FALLS TO THE FLOOR DEAD

Janitor: (To Andrea) Maria isn't supposed to kill Tony, Chino is.

Andrea: I know but he was getting really annoying, sorry (hands the gun to the Janitor)

END OF FANTASY SCENE

J.D.: I can't let her end up with the Janitor!

Elliot: Why did I have to be Riff?

J.D.: Because Turk is too black for that.

Carla: That's really offensive!

Turk: I'm okay with that. I didn't have to sing.

ANDREA GETS UP FROM HER TABLE AND WALKS TOWARDS THEM. SHE PUROPOSEFULLY BUMPS INTO J.D'S CHAIR CAUSING HIM TO SPILL SOUP ON HIMSELF.

Andrea: (sarcastically) Oh sorry Tony!

J.D.: Did everyone here me think out loud?

Janitor: Yeah and boy did you get it wrong. I will kill you way before she gets to.

Jordan: (walks up) why did I get to be in it?

J.D.: You were Officer Krupke?

END OF SCENE

ACT 2
SCENE 3

CUT TO THE OR

Turk: (runs in) I have a letter from the Chief of Medicine saying you can't perform this procedure!

Dr. Cunningham: Oh yeah, lets see it.

TURK HANDS IT TO HIM AND HE READS IT

Dr. Cunningham: I can still perform the procedure.

Turk: No you can't!

Dr. Cunningham: Mr. Peterson is a schizophrenic.

Turk: Damnit!

Dr. Cunningham: And because you just interrupted my procedure…. It's going to be later then eleven when you get the OR back.

Turk: It's past one; you didn't even start on this till eleven.

Dr. Cunningham: You know what they say?

Turk: No what?

Dr. Cunningham: Never trust a dentist (picks up a drill and starts to drill into the patient's mouth)

END OF SCENE

ACT 2
SCENE 4

PERRY AND JORDAN'S APARTMENT. THE JANITOR, ANDREA AND PERRY ARE SITTING AROUND DRINKING BEERS AND WATCHING A GAME ON TV.

J.D. WALKS IN.

Andrea: I thought I told you to go home this weekend.

J.D.: Dr. Cox, your ex-wife has been following me around all day. So I decided I would come here, where she lives.

Jordan: (walks in) don't think you can fool me by taking me to my own house.

Perry: Jordan, Jack stuck another marble up his nose.

Jordan: Crap! I let that Chinese woman down the hall baby-sit for one day and look what happens! (Exits)

J.D.: So why are you hanging out with your dad and the janitor?

Andrea: Well you told me to go make my own friends so…

J.D.: That's kind of lame you have to hang out with your dad.

Andrea: Well it's kind of lame you still sleep with a security blanket being 31 and all but I don't tell anyone. (Sarcastically) whoops!

Janitor: Hey goes away scooter, she has been telling us some funny stories about you.

Perry: Yeah Maria, so I knew you were gay but I didn't know you were pretty and witty and bright.

J.D.: I only sang that to you once.

Andrea: While you were getting ready for work.

J.D.: I was in a good mood. You better fix this now before she really starts telling them some embarrassing stuff.

Janitor: So what are you sending yourself this year for Valentines Day? And are you going to get it delivered to the hospital again?

J.D.: Too late! Andrea, can I talk to you outside.

Perry: Does it really matter where you talk? You know she is just going to tell us anyways.

J.D.: Fine! Look Andrea, I'm sorry that I told you who you could hang out with and who you couldn't. It was just a little awkward for me that you hung out with Elliot but I'll get over it. Because while I was being an ass you still respected my decision.

Elliot: (walks in) sorry it took me so long to get here. J.D. followed me around to make sure we weren't hanging out and I had to take the long way to throw him off…

J.D.: You were going to hang out with her behind my back?

Elliot: Frick!

Andrea: Why does it matter if I'm friends with your friends? I mean the only reason you started hanging out with Carla was because she was dating Turk?

Elliot: You know she is right.

J.D.: Fine… I guess we can all hang out.

Andrea: Awesome! Cause we are going on a double date with Keith and Elliot tomorrow.

J.D.: (fake and throws his arms in the air) Great!

HE SITS ON THE COUCH WITH ANDREA AND HAS HIS ARM AROUND HER. ELLIOT SITS ON THE OTHER SIDE. WHILE PERRY IS IN HIS CHAIR AND THE JANITOR IS SITTING NEXT TO ELLIOT.

J.D.: In all relationships there has to be a give and take. Right now I was giving more then I was taking but that didn't matter because Andrea and I just had lived through our first fight. Which made us a real couple.

END OF SCENE

FADE OUT