A/N: This chapter is kind of long and randomish but I think its funny. Please r & r.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

My Pajamas

ACT 1
SCENE 1

JORDAN AND PERRY'S APARTMENT, GUEST BEDROOM. JD AND ANDREA ARE LYING IN BED.

J.D.: It's pretty sad when a 31 year old has to sneak out of his apartment to see his girlfriend. Ever since Dan got here Elliot has been afraid if I left the two of them alone that he would make a move on her. But he has been bringing girls home every night. I get up around two in the morning and drive over to Dr. Cox's apartment. Then I get up at six and sneak back into my apartment. It's been great so far. We haven't gotten caught.

ALARM CLOCK GOES OFF.

J.D.: except today…. I overslept!

Andrea: (wakes up. groggily) J.D. what are you still doing here?

J.D.: I guess I got caught up in watching you sleep…

Andrea: (whispers) we are going to have to sneak you out!

J.D.: bet you never thought you would say that.

Andrea: I never thought I would be 25, staying at my DAD's house and sneaking out my boyfriend.

J.D.: Of course you would be 25, everyone ages.

Andrea: (elbows him) you know what I mean.

J.D.: Alright so what is the plan?

Andrea: Well Jordan goes into Jack's room around 8:10 and then Perry gets in the shower six minutes later. You can sneak out then.

J.D.: So we got about sixteen minutes… what do you want to do. (kisses her)

Andrea: well I know if we do what you want to do we will still have to wait 15 minutes and five seconds till Perry gets in the shower.

J.D.: Nah… I don't feel like having a staring contest right now.

Andrea: You're loss... haha get it, cause you always loose at the game.

KNOCK ON THE DOOR BEFORE THEY HAVE A TIME TO RESPOND JORDAN WALKS IN.

Jordan: Yes! I knew it! (Calls over her shoulder) Per you owe me twenty bucks!

J.D.: (moves around to cover himself up)

Jordan: I've seen it already DJ

Andrea: I don't think you have Jordan… he is wearing spider-man footy pajamas.

Jordan: (calls over her shoulder) never mind! We're even.

END SCENE

OPENING

ACT 1
SCENE 2

ANDREA WALKS OUT OF THE GUEST BEDROOM AND GOES INTO THE KITCHEN. J.D. WALKS OUT SLOWLY.

Perry: You know next time you sneak into an apartment of your girlfriend's parents. Probably shouldn't park your scooter in the middle of the living room. Might make you're presence noticeable.

J.D.: Good morning to you too Dr. Cox (waves)

Andrea: J.D. do you want fruit loops or pop tarts?

J.D.: I'll take pop-tarts, they are portable.

Jordan: Andrea, I need you to watch Jack tonight. Perry and I have to go to Danni's rehearsal dinner tonight

Perry: I'll watch Jack and Andrea can go in my place.

Andrea: oh no, no, no… I will be happy to watch Jack.

J.D.: Danni's getting married?

Jordan: (to Andrea) J.D. slept with her too.

Andrea: (hits J.D. in the head) God you can't keep it in your pants can you?

Perry: Actually he usually has a hard time getting anyone to let him whip it out.

Jordan: Yeah but it's some old guy who is on his death bed. She just wants the money.

Andrea: I have to go get ready for work. (To JD) you should get going too.

J.D.: yup… I'll just got to get sasha out of here.

ANDREA OPENS THE DOOR AND JD RIDES OUT ON SASHA.

Andrea: Watch out for the stairs! (she calls to him)

J.D. Too late! Ahhh!

END SCENE

ACT 1
SCENE 3

ENTRANCE OF THE HOSPITAL

Elliot: Just get away from me!

Dan: I'm sorry I walked in on you in the shower with your boyfriend.

Elliot: you didn't just walk in, you broke the door!

Dan: I really had to take a dump.

Elliot: Where was your brother? He was supposed to be watching you!

Dan: Oh he went over to Andrea's….

Elliot: Again? Can't he spend on night by himself?

Dan: give the guy a break. He gets four hours of sleep an night if that.

Elliot: The rules where you could stay at my place if he was there.

Dan: Yeah but you can't tell him he could only have one person stay there and expect him to choose between his brother and his girlfriend.

Elliot: Yes I can, I was hoping he would come to his senses and choose her over you! (Walks off)

Dan: Mole butt! (Calls after her)

J.D.: (walks up) Hey how did you know about Elliot's mole butt?

Dan: I accidentally walked in on her in the shower with Keith this morning.

J.D.: She doesn't know I snuck out right?

Dan: if by that you mean she does know, then yes.

J.D.: How could you tell her?

Dan: You wore your spider man footy pajamas to work. How was she not going to find out?

J.D.: Go …. Be a minister…

Dan: Good come back Johnny…

J.D.: (waves his hand dismissively) Just leave

Perry: (whistles) Newbie, get over ere pronto.

J.D.: Did I leave anything over at your place?

Perry: Yeah your dignity… nope you lost that along time ago. Go get into scrubs and meet me back here…

J.D.: But I'm with Andrea today.

Dr. Kelso: Not any more. You too have had the same schedule for the last three weeks. And I decided it would be fun for me if you finished the week with Perry here. Now go change out of those pj's and get to work.

J.D.: Yes sir!

END SCENE

ACT 1
SCENE 4

CUT TO PATIENTS ROOM. DR. KELSO JUST TOLD ANDREA THE SAME NEWS.

Andrea: Well who am I going to work with?

Dr. Kelso: Me…

Andrea: Which means?

Dr. Kelso: Carla will be assisting you today.

Andrea: (upset) great.

Carla:(walks in) you wanted to see me sir?

Dr. Kelso: Nurse Turkleton, you will be helping Dr. Cox today.

Carla: Alright, I'll go find him.

Dr. Kelso: Not Perry, Andrea.

Carla: (upset like Andrea) Great.

Dr. Kelso: (smiles) well great, I'm glad you all like the new arrangements, maybe I'll make permanent. (Walks out)

BOTH ARE ALARMED AND BEGIN TO FOLLOW HIM OUT.

Andrea: No sir! Wait!

Carla: Dr. Kelso

Patient: Can I get some help in here?

THE TWO WOMEN TURN TOWARDS EACH OTHER.

Andrea: Well you heard the man (pushes Carla in the room) Dr. Kelso, wait up!

END SCENE

ACT 1
SCENE 5

DOCTORS LOUNGE

Elliot: Keith! Why didn't you beat Dan up this morning?

Keith: I'm not going to beat up J.D.'s brother.

Elliot: Oh I get it, you are still trying to win J.D. over

Keith: No, that's not true

Elliot: Well listen, he has to be nice to you, cause I Like you. Now get over it!

Keith: So what do you want me to do?

Elliot: forget it. I'll take care of him myself.

OR TURK IS DOING SURGERY. DAN COMES UP TO GLASS AND STARTS BANGING ON IT TO GET TURCKS ATTENTION. PUT HIS MOUTH UP TO IT AND BLOWS ON IT. STARTS TO PRETEND HE IS ON A ESCLATATOR, THEN ON A BOAT, SWIMMING AND SO FORTH. TURK LOOKS EMBARRASSED.

END OF SCENE

COMMERCIAL

ACT 2
SCENE 1

HALLWAY

Perry: What took you so long Jessica? Couldn't chose between the flower print scrubs or the pink ones?

J.D.: I had to borrow scrubs from Turk.

Perry: careful there newbie, you might get mistaken for a surgeon.

J.D.: Oooh… that might be fun. Hey Dr. Wen.

Dr. Wen: Dr. Dorian.

J.D.: so do I look like a surgeon or what?

Dr. Wen: You look like a medical doctor in green scrubs.

J.D.: phooey

Perry: This is definitely something I don't miss about working with you.

J.D.: You missed working with me?

Perry: No, I'm used to it. Just like someone with a scar gets used to having it around. Yeah you are kind of like a scar women get when they have a c-section.

J.D.: You know I think that's the nicest thing you have ever said to me.

BOTH BEEPERS GO OFF.

J.D.: crap. Mr. Peterson is coding.

THEY BOTH RUN OFF TO THE PATIENTS ROOM.

J.D.: whenever I get a page like that everything begins to go in slow motion. I feel like I am defying gravity when I try to run or something.

Lavern: He is going into cardiac arrest.

J.D.: I need the AED's stat.

J.D. PLACED THE AED'S ON MR. PETERSONS CHEST.

J.D.: clear! It was weird Dr. Cox stood back and let me take charge. He just stood there and watched me, he didn't even say anything. But it didn't matter because Mr. Peterson still died.

Perry: Newbie there was nothing you could do.

J.D.: yeah sure. (walks out)

END OF SCENE

ACT 2
SCENE 2

ANDREA'S PATIENTS ROOM

Andrea: Nurse, I need you to give this man 10 ccs of penicillin

Carla: he is allergic.

Andrea: He isn't allergic to Penicillin.

Carla: Yes he is!

Andrea: (to patient) do you have any allegories?

Patient: No.

Andrea: See!

Carla: Crap! I was reading the wrong chart.

Andrea: Maybe you should may more attention. And why do you need to read charts? I thought you said only doctors read them because they didn't spend enough time with their patients!

Carla: (sarcastic) guess you are the exception to the rule.

Andrea: Elliot told me you would be like this. She said you got this way too when she first became friends with Molly.

Carla: Like what?

Andrea: Jealous

Carla: I'm not jealous.

Andrea: Admit you are jealous or I'll tell everyone how you really hurt your let.

Carla: You wouldn't.

Andrea: You aren't the only one around here with a big mouth. (walks away)

END OF SCENE

ACT 2
SCENE 3

THE OR. TURK COMES OUT TO YELL AT DAN WHEN HE IS STOPPED BY THE JANITOR.

Janitor: Look what I found. (Holding up JD's footy pajamas with a stick)

Turk: Where did you get those?

Janitor: Oh I found them in the bathroom.

Turk: You broke into JD's locker didn't you?

Janitor: (lying) oh no… I would never do something like that.

Turk: Give them back.

Janitor: Only if you do something for me.

Turk: What?

Janitor; Get me a meeting with that minister over there. (points to Dan who is burping the ABC's with Todd)

Turk: Go ask him yourself. (tries to grab the pjs but fails)

Janitor: or he'll never see these again.

Turk: Damnit! Its his favorite pair! Why do you want to meet with a minister anyway?

Janitor: I have some sins I have to get off my chest.

Turk: Alright I'll talk to him. Now give it back!

Janitor: not until I meet with him!

END OF SCENE

ACT 2
SCENE 4

OUTSIDE OF THE HOSPITAL

Jordan: Why are the two of you playing one on one in the middle of the day?

Perry: Actually we are playing horse, and Margaret here shoots like a girl.

JD WHO IS IN HIS BOXERS DOES A GRANNY SHOT AND THE BALL PASSES THE HOOP ALL TOGETHER.

Perry: And I believe that is HORS…

Jordan: You are going to get all sweaty and we are going to Danni's in two hours.

Perry: Well if we are going straight there I can't change. (smiles)

Jordan: I brought your suit to work. Why is he in his boxers?

J.D.: Whever one of our patients die we play horse to get our aggression out. It is very therapeutic. And every letter you get you have to remove an article of clothing.

Jordan: Has Perry ever been down to his boxers?

J.D.: He has never had to take off more then the white coat.

PERRY SHOOTS A BASKET FROM THE DUMPSTER.

J.D.: (upset) I'll never get that in.

Jordan: Oh please that is an easy shot.

J.D.: The lets see you make it in

JORDAN WALKS OVER TO THE DUMPSTER AND TAKES THE SHOT, GETTING IT IN.

Perry: Wow newbie, you are getting beat by a girl. But I'm sure that's not the first time you heard that.

J.D.: I'll show them! (takes the shot and misses) There go the boxers! (slides them down)

END OF SCENE

ACT 2
SCENE 5

THE HALLWAY

Keith: so your big plan is what?

Elliot: Oh you don't have to worry about it, I got someone else to take care of it for me.

Keith: Who?

Elliot: (points to the Janitor at the end of the hallway talking to Dan) Him.

OTHER END OF THE HALLWAY

Janitor: Now I need you to pretend you are scared.

Dan: Why?

Janitor: Do you want your footy pajama's back or not?

Dan: Fine!

Janitor: (waves his hands in the air) So did you get a good look?

BACK TO ELLIOT AND KEITH

Elliot: Wow he is good. I can read lips. He is totally ripping him a new one.

Keith: What is he saying?

Elliot: Do it again punk and I'll clean your clock.

Keith: I think that was too many words.

Elliot: (shrugs) he slurs them together.

BACK TO JANITOR AND DAN

Dan: I got to see her hiney.

Janitor: (pulls Dan by the collar) Yeah how was it?

ELLIOT AND KEITHS END OF THE HALLWAY

Elliot: Now he is saying don't mess with me.

THE JANITOR AND DAN'S END OF THE HALLWAY

Dan: Eh… she has a mole

Janitor: (releases him) any frontal?

Keith: Now what?

Elliot: You got lucky

Dan: Nope, her stupid boyfriend was there.

Janitor: (pulls Dan by the ear) now lets go get your footy pj's.

Dan: Why are you hurting me again?

Janitor: Blonde Doctor said she would cook me dinner if I threatened you. (turns to look down the hallway at Elliot and waves)

Elliot: (smiles and waves back) Guess Dan really pissed him off. For a minister he isn't very minister-y…

END OF SCENE

ACT 2
SCENE 6

THE NURSES STATION

Carla: (walks up) Fine your right, I'm jealous.

Andrea: I don't know why you are. I'm not trying to steal Elliot away from you.

Carla: she just has been spending so much time with you lately.

Andrea: That's because we just got to know each other. I'm sure you guys were like that when you first met. And you are married and pregnant. Elliot's neither of those, she needs a friend that isn't either. No offense to you. She still cares.

Carla: You're right.

Andrea: We'll try to invite you and Turk out more.

Carla: Thanks. And I'll stop spreading rumors around about you.

Andrea: No, I actually like that. People get to know about me faster. And sometimes they confuse me and my dad and its hilarious.

Carla: friends?

Andrea: Friends.

END OF SCENE

ACT 2
SCENE 7

LOCKER ROOM

Turk: J.D. you got to make your brother leave. He has been following me around all day. I got threatened by the Janitor because of him.

J.D.: (opens his locker) Where's my footy pajamas?

Dan: (runs out and jumps on JD wearing them) Look! They still fit!

J.D.: Dan get out of those, they are mine!

Dan: They were mine first.

J.D.: And then you gave them to me. Now get out of them!

DAN TAKES THEM OFF TO REVEAL HE ISN'T WEARING ANYTHING UNDERNEATH.

Turk: Dude!

J.D.: Put them back on.

Dan: I thought you wanted them back?

J.D.: keep them.

END OF SCENE

ACT 2
SCENE 8

JORDAN'S OFFICE. JORDAN IS OUTSIDE OF IT BANGING ON THE DOOR WITH ONE HAND AND IS HOLDING JACKS IN THE OTHER.

Jordan: Come on Perry! We are going to be late!

Perry: (walks out wearing the suit) You don't want to go and I don't want to go. Why don't we just pawn him off on Andrea and then stay in your office?

Jordan: Because Danni is paying me to be the matron of honor.

Perry: How much?

Jordan: that's none of your business. I'm not giving you any.

Perry: Come on, I smell like sweat and the hospital. I haven't gotten to shower.

Jordan: Should have taken the day off like I asked you to.

Perry: You should know by now when you ask me to do something I do the exact opposite.

Jordan: And you usually end up paying dearly for it.

Andrea: (walks up) Hey little Jacky! Ready to come play over at JD's place?

Jordan: You aren't going to watch him at our place?

Andrea: Can't we have to baby sit Dan tonight too.

Perry: Just keep the taxidermy dog away from Jack.

Andrea: (picks up Jack) Alright, I'll drop him off around eleven?

Jordan: sounds good.

Andrea: say goodbye to mommy and daddy!

Jack: (waves)

ANDREA AND JACK LEAVE.

Jordan: Okay screw the dinner; I'll get her a prostitute for the bachlorette party.

Perry: wow your sister is classy.

J.D.: Family is important. Sometimes getting alone time with your ex spouse puts things in perspective.

TURK AND KEITH ARE IN THE PARKING LOT.

Keith: I have got to get him back for standing up for Elliot.

Turk: He gave the footy pj's to Dan! I'm gonna get him.

Keith: Are you sure he is gonna be upset?

Turk: Oh yeah, and he'll probably not think it was us either.

THE TWO OF THEM HAD POURED MUDD ALL OVER THE VAN AND A BIG SCOOTER PIE WAS SMASHED TO THE FRONT WINDSHEILD.

Turk: He's coming! Lets get out of here.

Janitor: (walks up) Ah… I'm so gonna get scooter for this. Now that I know the combination to his locker he is so screwed!

J.D.: sometimes you bond with someone which is like having a family away from your own.

END OF SCENE

ACT 2
SCENE 9

ELLIOT AND CARLA ARE IN CARLA AND TURKS APARTMENT.

Carla: I wonder how long it takes for the guys to get beer

Elliot: Oh they are probably checking out porn magazines.

Carla: And you are okay with that?

Elliot: Oh yeah, after what Keith didn't do today he isn't going to get any.

Carla: (laughs)

Elliot: Thanks for letting us come over, JD and Andrea are babysitting Jack and Dan tonight.

Carla: isn't Dan older then JD?

Elliot: Yeah but he acts younger then Jack.

J.D.: Sometimes your family interferes with your friendships but you realize your friends will always be there to support you through tough times.

ELLIOT AND JD'S APARTMENT. THEY ARE SITTING AT THE TABLE EATING DINNER. DAN IS STILL IN THE FOOTY PAJAMAS.

JD: Dan eat your dinner.

Dan: But I don't want to! I hate green beans (pushes the plate away)

JD: Andrea slaved over that food for you, and you are going to eat it!

Andrea: Dan! Stop throwing the mashed potatoes at Jack! You are older you should no better.

Dan: But he kept playing with my legos.

Andrea: When are you going to learn how to share?

Dan: I don't want this.

JD: Fine you are going to bed with no dinner.

Andrea: I'm going to go give Jack a bath. Can you clean up Dan?

J.D.: Yeah sure.

Dan: I want dessert.

J.D.: Well dessert is for good boys who eat their dinner.

Dan: I don't want to go to bed!

J.D.: ( grabs Dan's arms and lead him to the couch and tucks him in) Now go to sleep!

Dan: You are mean Johnny!

J.D.: Goodnight, and no watching tv.

JD'S BEDROOM

J.D.: So Dan's in bed.

Andrea: What no guests tonight?

J.D.: Nope he is just going to sleep with his blanket.

Andrea: I thought you were the one that had one.

J.D.: I might…

Andrea: Yeah I just layed Jack down.

J.D.: We are going to be awesome parents.

Andrea: (laughs) yeah getting a 35 year old to bed is exactly like watching a one year old.

J.D.: Well with Jack… I mean you are great with him.

Andrea: Yeah well it's those maternal instincts kicking in.

J.D.: We should probably go check on Dan he is probably sneaking a cookie. But when you finally meet the person you want to create your own family that is the best feeling in the world.

END OF SCENE

FADE OUT