A/N: This chapter was a little hard for me to write. But I hope you enjoy it!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
My Happy Thanksgiving
ACT 1
SCENE 1
J.D.: So Turk what are you doing tomorrow on your day off?
Turk: Covering for you remember
J.D.: Oh yeah I forgot.
Turk: Yeah well Carla had to work anyway and she was going to kill me in my sleep if I didn't switch my schedule with someone.
J.D.: Well I'm glad that I could help.
Andrea: (walks up) Great news! I got Elliot to cover for me tomorrow.
J.D.: How did you do that?
Andrea: Well she made a comment about how she would rather work tomorrow then have to go have thanksgiving with her mother. So I offered to switch shifts with her.
J.D.: That's pretty sad.
Andrea: And when she gets off she said she planned on making a small turkey for her and rowdy.
Turk: What about Keith?
J.D.: (smiles) He is working a double shift.
Andrea: Yeah covering for my dad so we can go over to his place for Thanksgiving.
J.D.: What I thought we were going to have our first thanksgiving by ourselves.
Andrea: well I don't know how to cook so Jordan's cooking for us and I'm going over to bitch with her in the kitchen while you watch the parade with Jack.
J.D.: And where is your dad going to be?
Perry: Locked in my bedroom with a bottle of whiskey watching the football game. Away from this dysfunctional family.
J.D.: What if I wanted to watch the game to? Shut up this might get you in trouble and you could miss the parade.
Jordan: (walks up) Oh Perry guess what? Danni and her fiancé are going to be joining ups for dinner.
Perry: I may just have to commit suicide.
J.D.: The holidays are always hard on everyone.
END OF SCENE
OPENING
ACT 1
SCENE 2
JORDAN AND PERRYS APARTMENT.
Andrea: (sticks her finger in the cake batter and likes it) Oh there is not enough rum in this! (starts to pour the bottle into it)
THERES A KNOCK ON THE DOOR.
Jordan: Per' will you be a dear and get off your lazy ass and get the door?
PERRY ANSWERES THE DOOR HOLDING JACK.
Perry: Look who it is Jack, your Uncle Danni.
Danni: haha… I forgot how funny you are. My date's just parking the car.
Perry: And soon Jack you are going to meet your great great uncle.
J.D.: How can he park the car if he lost his licenses?
Danni: How would you know if he lost his licenses?
J.D.: Cause he was old! Yeah that was funny (laughs but no one else does)
Danni: My date isn't my fiancé.
J.D.: And you said I only want what I can't have.
Andrea: (walks out of the kitchen) And she is right.
J.D.: But I want you and I'm with you.
Andrea: Only because I play mind games with you.
Perry: Wow congrats newbie, I forgot you slept with every girl here.
Sean: (walks in) Hi everyone.
Danni: This is my date!
END OF SCENE
ACT 1
SCENE 3
THE HOSPITAL
Elliot: (walks up to Keith) When's your lunch break?
Keith: around two why?
Elliot: (tries to be seductive) Come find me in the supply closet (begins to walk away and trips over her own feet) Frick! (stands up) You didn't see that!
Keith: Okay see you later.
NURSES STATION
Carla: Dr. Kelso, what are you doing here today? I thought it was your day off.
Dr. Kelso: I am off, I'm just here and not at home so I don't have to spend the holidays with Enid, my son and his boyfriend. The one that played me in the play he wrote about me.
Carla: you seem a little sad sir.
Dr. Kelso: yeah Harrison just asked me to give him away when he and his boyfriend get married in Vermont this summer.
Carla: You don't want to do it?
Dr. Kelso: No Enid is coming with so I can't bring my mistress.
Carla: Ted what are you doing here?
Ted: Well apparently I was on call in case of an emergency, and Dr. Kelso called me in…
Dr. Kelso: This is an emergency; my cable in my office went out!
Carla: You know while you are here you could look at the patient in 312.
Dr. Kelso: You're on the clock nurse Turkleton, you do it. Come on Ted (walks off)
END OF SCENE
ACT 1
SCENE 4
JORDAN AND PERRY'S APARTMENT EVERYONE IS SITTING AROUND THE TABLE
Perry: So Jordan, you invite anyone else? Like maybe my sister, or your mom or my mom.
Jordan: excuse me for actually wanting to have a real family dinner.
Perry: She didn't even bring her real husband (points to Danni)
Jack: Pa-wey
Danni: Your son doesn't even call you dad (laughs)
Perry: Yeah and when you call your dad sometimes he thinks its Ben from beyond the grave.
Danni: (to JD) what is that supposed to mean.
J.D.: You kind of have manly voice.
Danni: Hey Sean, I should give you a tour of the apartment!
Sean: Okay…
Andrea: don't show him my room! (calls after him)
J.D.: Wow this is super weird.
Andrea: Why cause you slept with a guy?
J.D.: No because Elliot used to date Sean, and I didn't think he was the type of guy to let his girlfriend date another dude.
Jordan: He is on the plan too. (Tries to pick up a glass of wine)
Andrea: (takes it from her) Thanks!
Perry: Jordan, you do realize you're pregnant right?
PHONE RINGS
Jordan: (jumps up) I'll get it. (Runs out of the room)
ANDREA'S BEEPER GOES OFF.
Andrea: Shit! I have to go.
J.D.: What are you talking about.
Andrea: One of my patients vitals dropped and…
J.D.: Elliots covering you.
Andrea: Yeah but his family is already sueing the hospital for malpractice with is wife.
Jordan: That was the hospital I have to go in.
Perry: You have to go in? It must be some big emergency.
Jordan: Yeah Ted said that family sueing the hospital is going ape shit because of Andrea's patient.
Perry: Maybe I should go in.
Andrea: No, they paged me because I'm the newest senior attending. I have to go in.
Perry: Well if you have to…. Guess Thanksgiving is over Jack.
Jordan: Oh no, this shouldn't take more then an hour.
Andrea: Yeah you guys stay here. We'll be right back.
J.D.: But.
Andrea: (kisses him on the cheek) enjoy the rest of your dinner.
BOTH WOMEN LEAVE.
Perry: They are up to something.
J.D.: Oh yeah.
Perry: Well as long as Jack doesn't get into the rum cake this thanksgiving will be better then last year.
J.D.: Too late.
JACK IS FALLING ON THE FLOOR WITH CAKE ALL OVER HIS FACE.
Perry: You really don't look out equally for all of us do you big guy (says to the ceiling)
END OF SCENE
COMMERICAL
ACT 2
SCENE 1
JORDAN'S CAR
Andrea: So what are we going to do instead?
Jordan: I'm going to my office and having a drink
Andrea: You can't drink!
Jordan: Just one itty bitty drink?
Andrea: No!
Jordan: But I had one when I was pregnant with Jack
Andrea: Right and he still is an alcoholic, did you see how he attacked that rum cake? How did you get the phone to ring?
Jordan: I called it with my cell.
Andrea: Thanks for paging me.
Jordan: So you want to go visit your mom's grave?
Andrea: Yeah thanks, I can't believe that Perry didn't even remember.
Jordan: Well now he is going to have to spend the day with DJ and Danni so he will get his.
Andrea: You are pure evil.
Jordan: Thanks
END OF SCENE
ACT 2
SCENE 2
THE HOSPITAL
Turk: Man this sucks… its so slow here today.
Elliot: It'll pick up after people start eating.
Turk: True, last year I had to do surgery on a guy who got into a fight with his brother. He had the wishbone sticking out of his forehead.
Janitor: I iced down the hospital parking lot. Maybe now we'll get something do around here.
Turk: Yeah and who is going to have to deal with the people that get hurt? That would be me. And what are you going to have to do?
Janitor: clean up the blood.
Turk: Fair enough.
Elliot: Oh its two! Gotta go!
Janitor: don't make a mess in there, that's one thing I won't clean up
SUPPLY CLOSET
Elliot: So you want some Thanksgiving sex?
Keith: How is this different from the sex we have everyday.
Elliot: You get to be on top.
Keith: Oh okay.
Dr. Kelso: There you are Dr. Dudemiester. I need you to come hold the antenna for my TV. The cable isn't working.
Elliot: Why don't you just get Ted to do it?
Dr. Kelso: He is the remote control. And plus Keith is much taller then he is. (Walks off)
Keith: (to Elliot) I got to go.
Elliot: Fine, but this isn't over. We will meet in 402 before I get off work. (Calls after him)
END OF SCENE
ACT 2
SCENE 3
JORDAN AND PERRYS APARTMENT
J.D.: So what do you think they are doing?
Perry: I really don't care right now… I got to take care of this drunken baby and I don't mean you. I can't go into my room because my ex sister in law is bumping naughtiest with her boyfriend that isn't her fiancé.
J.D.: Come on, it can't be so bad.
Perry: I'm stuck here with you; I would rather be in the hospital having Bobbo sticking forks into my eye balls.
J.D.: I wonder what could be so important that Andrea had to resort to lying and teaming up with Jordan. I hope I didn't piss her off. I don't want another bruised rib. (rubs his side) I don't think Andrea told me what to day was.
Perry: Besides Thanksgiving?
J.D.: Yeah… what else could it be.
CUT TO GRAVE YARD
Jordan: You know it wasn't until two months ago that Perry told me why he blew off our first Thanksgiving together.
Andrea: Yeah he came here in a Detroit red wings jersey and was drinking a beer.
Jordan: Yeah he showed up like that for Jack's baptism.
Andrea: Do you think he even remembers?
Jordan: Yeah definitely, that's why he is being more of a cranky ass then normal.
Andrea: Oh I just thought it was because Danni and Sean are having sex on your bed.
Jordan: He'll forget about that once he has a drink.
Andrea: Are you sure it was a good idea to leave your drunk son with your drunk ex-husband.
Jordan: Well as long as DJ stays away from the appletinis we will be okay.
Andrea: So mom, this is Jordan. She is Perry's ex wife. You would love her.
END OF SCENE
ACT 2
SCENE 4
HOSPITAL
Carla: So the wishbone is shoved up where?
Patient: (blushes) my bottom.
Carla: Alright well why don't you change into that gown there and I will go find a doctor to treat you. (walks into the hallway)
Turk: So whats wrong with him?
Carla: You wouldn't believe where his wife shoved the wishbone.
Turk: Up his pooper?
Carla: uh huh
Turk: I can't believe JD is missing this.
Carla: You both are gross.
Turk: Can I please treat him?
Carla: Knock yourself out.
Turk: Where's Elliot?
Carla: Trying to break into Jordan's office so she and Keith can have special Thanksgiving sex.
Turk: Baby how come we don't have special Thanksgiving sex.
Carla: It's the opposite of what we do for your special birthday sex.
Turk: Its not special if the man has to do all the work.
Carla: and that's why it's not special.
END OF SCENE
ACT 2
SCENE 5
ELLIOT IS SLAMMING HERSELF AGAINST THE DOOR
Elliot: Why won't you stupid door open?
Janitor: What seems to be the problem?
Elliot: Jordan, paged me because she needs to get something out of her office?
Janitor: Trying to have sex in there?
Elliot: Yeah… how did you know?
Janitor: Because everyone uses that office to have sex.
Elliot: Well if she didn't have a fold out bed in there…
Janitor: (gets a key out and opens the door) There you go!
Elliot: Thanks Janitor! You are so nice.
Janitor: 'Tis the season
Elliot: Uh… yeah (walks into the room and opens the window) Keith! I
got the office open, now come on!
END OF SCENE
ACT 2
SCENE 6
JORDAN AND PERRYS APARTMENT
J.D.: Okay I'm going to start playing twenty questions if you don't tell me what's going on. And where is Danni and Sean?
Perry: They are still going at it. I don't know how he has the stamina for that. Jordan doesn't usually get to finish.
J.D.: Seriously, whats going on?
Perry: Well Loretta, Today is the ten year anniversary of Andrea's moms death.
J.D.: And you aren't there to pay respects with her?
Perry: I went this morning after Jordan asked me to have sex with her.
J.D.: Does Andrea know?
Perry: I doubt it
J.D.: I wonder why she hasn't told me.
Perry: because she probably wanted to deal with this herself.
J.D.: So you think that's where she and Jordan are?
Perry: I'm going to say yes, even though I don't know why Jordan is acting like a human…
J.D.: Probably because that baby's about to pop out of her at any minute.
Perry: Its not due for another three weeks and we have a deal. I get to enjoy these next three weeks before I have to start being a father.
JACK TRIES TO WALK BUT ENDS UP STUMBLING ON THE GROUND AND FALLS.
J.D.: Doesn't he know how to walk?
Perry: Oh yeah, Jordan taught him that awhile ago.
J.D.: So after two kids you think you are ready to be a dad.
Perry: I was ready to be a dad when Lauren died, but Andrea didn't want to be anywhere near me.
J.D.: Then maybe you can make it up to her now. Sometimes you surprise yourself with amount of knowledge you accumulate over the years.
END OF SCENE
COMMERICAL
ACT 3
SCENE 1
THE HOSPTIAL
Turk: You know what I'm thankful baby?
Carla: What's that?
Turk: That I get to spend the day working with you.
Carla: Aww… honey that's the cheesest thing I ever heard you say.
Turk: Well what are you thankful for?
Carla: That you were willing to fish that wishbone out of that guys ass so I didn't have to.
J.D.: Sometimes you surprise yourself cause even though your whole life is going to change you are still are still as happy as you are with your partner as you were when you first met them.
ACT 3
SCENE 2
INT. PERRYS BEDROOM. PERRY WALKS INTO HIS BEDROOM AND SEES SEAN AND DANNI GOING AT IT. COVERS HIS EYES.
Perry: excuse me for barging into my room to get a coat.
SEAN FALLS OFF THE BED.
Sean: Ow!!!
Danni: are you okay.
Sean: I think I just got impaled by Jordan's giant high heel
Danni: Oh my god you need to go to the hospital!
Perry: (turns to look at JD) Now what Newbie?
J.D.: I'll take him to the hospital, you go.
Perry: What about Jack.
J.D.: The little alcoholic will stay here with his uncle.
Perry: Thanks Newbie,
J.D.: and sometimes you surprise yourself by stepping aside and letting someone else take charge.
END OF SCENE
ACT 3
SCENE 3
THE HOSPITAL
J.D.: Thanks for meeting me here Elliot
Elliot: (scrubs are on inside out and her hair is all messed up. Shakes her head) sure no problem. So what's wrong.
J.D.: (pushes a gurney out to reveal Sean laying on it with a high heal sticking out of his butt) He was having wild animal sex with Danni and got hurt.
Elliot: Oh my god Sean!
Sean: Elliot?
Keith: (walks up) Elliot aren't you supposed to be off now?
Elliot: Um… yeah…
Keith: I can take him for you JD
Elliot: You don't have to do that.
Keith: After what you just did to me I think I should.
Elliot: He's my ex boyfriend.
J.D.: and sometimes you surprise yourself by realizing you have been keeping an important secret from someone you care about the most.
END OF SCENE
ACT 3
SCENE 4
GRAVE YARD
Andrea: Well… I guess that's it…
Perry: No, no I think we should say something to her together.
Andrea: Dad?
Jordan: How did you know we were here?
Perry: because I know it takes more then someone suing the hospital to get you to go into work on a holiday.
Jordan: (frowns) you know me too well…. I'm going to leave you two alone.
Andrea: So what made you decide to come?
Perry: Remembering the day you decided not to come live with me.
Andrea: (nods) You told J.D. didn't you.
Perry: Yeah… why didn't you tell him?
Andrea: because this is still all too new to me and I didn't want to scare him off. You didn't bring him here did you?
Perry: No he had to take Sean to the hospital.
Andrea: What happened?
Perry: I went into the room to get a coat and he and Danni were having sex and he freaked out and fell.
Andrea: They were still going at it?
Perry: for three hours.
Andrea: oh that's weird…
Perry: So what did you talk to your mother about?
Andrea: Running into you again.
Perry: Oh yeah? So you want to come home with me?
Andrea: Yes, thank you.
J.D.: and sometimes you can surprise yourself by fixing relationship and rewriting the past.
END OF SCENE
FADE OUT