A/N: I know that Carla is futher along in the pregnancy then Jordan was but I don't care I think this is how it should have turned out and I addressed it in this episode. Please R/R

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

My Mentor's Baby

ACT 1
SCENE 1

J.D.: I didn't think that after spending all my time at Andrea's it would be a whole lot different then actually living with her, but I was wrong.

FLASHBACK.

JD IS SITTING IN THE LIVING ROOM WATCHING TV AND ANDREA IS IN THE KITCHEN

Andrea: J.D.! you have to start washing your dishes and stop leaving them in the sink!

J.D.: the dishwasher was full.

Andrea: I don't have a dishwasher.

J.D.: That's why I don't wash my dishes.

CUT TO ANDREA AND JD'S BEDROOM. JD IS CHANGING AND ANDREA WALKS IN.

Andrea: You have to stop leaving your dirty clothes on the floor and put them in the hamper! (throws scrubs at him)

J.D.: Where's the hamper?

Andrea: Right next to the door! It's been there the whole time.

J.D.: Well I was putting my laundry in there but it was never getting done so I just figured that I would leave them on the ground until you took a hint.

Andrea: Yeah the reason the laundry wasn't getting done was because it wasn't my laundry. So that means that I'm not going to do it.

ANDREA AND JD ARE LAYING IN BED.

J.D.: How come we don't have sex anymore?

Andrea: I don't feel like it. Maybe if you started to help out around here then maybe.

J.D.: Well maybe I don't feel like it.

Andrea: Well then maybe you'll be sleeping on the couch tonight.

J.D.: But the couch is covered in trash.

Andrea: (kicks him off the bed) not my problem

END OF FLASHBACK

J.D. IS LAYING ON THE FLOOR NEXT TO COUCH WHICH HAS A PILE OF TRASH ON IT AND ANDREA WALKS OUT INTO THE KITCHEN. SOMETHING COMES FLYING FROM THAT DIRECTION AND BEAMS J.D. IN THE HEAD.

J.D.: Ouch!

Andrea: Oh sorry! I was aiming for the pile of trash on the couch!

END OF SCENE

OPENING

ACT 1
SCENE 2

ENTRANCE

Elliot: J.D. is there a blood stain on your scrubs?

J.D.: Yeah…

Elliot: Did you even wash those?

J.D.: Andrea went on strike… so no.

Elliot: What you expect her to do your laundry for you? (pauses) you know what don't answer that.

J.D. :( Taunting) and you and Keith are doing so much better.

Elliot: Actually we are. He doesn't expect me to do his laundry and I don't start a fight with him every five minutes.

Keith: (walks up) Hey baby, I thought I would make you a special dinner tonight.

Elliot: (smiles) you didn't have to do that!

Keith: Just want to make my baby happy.

J.D.: Stop saying baby every time you talk. Only Turk can pull that off.

END OF SCENE

ACT 1
SCENE 3

NURSES STATION

Perry: Jordan, you aren't supposed to be out of the hospital bed.

Jordan: I can't lie there anymore. And I'm getting a break from the baby right now.

Carla: It's been two days and you guys still haven't come up with a name?

Jordan: We don't want to name it something stupid like Percival.

Perry: And I suppose you already have a name for your unborn baby?

Carla: Actually I do.

Perry: That Gandhi agrees with too?

Carla: Yes, Turk and I have spent a lot of time thinking of names and we agreed on the perfect name.

Turk: (walks up) what perfect name?

Perry: For you're racially mixed child.

Turk: Oh?

Perry: (smiles) yes lets here it Carla.

Carla: (nervous) um… if it's a girl Isabella Grace or if it is a boy Marco Robert.

Turk: Baby we are not naming our son after your brother.

Carla: And what do you suggest Turk?

Turk: Samuel.

Jordan: That's not so bad.

Carla: we are not naming our son after Samuel L. Jackson.

Turk: But he was shaft!

Perry: See it's not as easy as it seems.

J.D.: (walks up) Dr. Cox.

Perry: No newbie, you can't date my other daughter, I draw the line at Andrea.

Jordan: And what about Jack.

J.D.: (to Jordan) very funny. But I need your help with a patient.

Perry: Well anyway to get away from these harpies.

Jordan: You better come up with a good name Per' or when I come home…

Perry: Yeah, yeah heard it a dozen times and it still doesn't scare me. Come on Newbie. (both leave)

Janitor: (walks up) You got a nice looking kid.

Jordan: Thank you.

Janitor: How much do you want for her?

Jordan: Normally I'd take you up on that offer but the hospital might think it's a little suspicious you walking out of here with a baby. Don't you have a kid?

Janitor: I do but when my wife filed for divorce she asked for sole custody and with my track record they gave it to her.

Carla: I didn't know you got divorced.

Janitor: Yeah not a lot gets around here about me.

Turk: Not normal things anyway.

Jordan: I'm sorry to hear that. You must be lonely.

Janitor: Only when I'm not tormenting Dr. Dorian.

Carla: Too bad we don't know anyone to set you up with.

Jordan: That's what I can do today!

Janitor: What?

Jordan: I got nothing else today so I can go around the hospital and try to find you a date.

Janitor: Stay away from the patients in the psych ward.

Jordan: Not patients! Staff members.

Turk: Ha! You won't find anyone except possibly the blind candy stripper on the third floor.

Jordan: Well just for that you are going to help me.

Turk: You can't make me do that.

Carla: No but I can.

Turk: Now baby why would you do that?

Carla: You made me look like an ass in front of Dr. Cox when I was trying to prove a point so I think this is fair punishment.

Turk: I'm super busy today.

Carla: You don't have any surgery until three, I think you can find the time (walks away)

END OF SCENE

ACT 1
SCENE 4

LUNCH ROOM

ANDREA IS SITTING AT A LUNCH TABLE BY HERSELF, ELLIOT WALKS UP WITH A TRAY AND SITS WITH HER.

Elliot: Where's J.D.?

Andrea: Wait J.D.'s here (tries to get under the table but Elliot stopped her)

Elliot: You might not want to do that after what happened last time.

Andrea: Is J.D. here?

Elliot: No, I asked you where he was. Is everything okay?

Andrea: (sighs) oh phew! It's just I'm afraid I made the mistake of letting him move in so fast. I mean lately all we do is fight.

Elliot: (surprised) Really?

Andrea: Well you must know what I mean, Keith isn't eating with us.

Keith: (walks up with a tray and sits down with them) Babe, you forgot your milk.

Elliot: (kisses his cheek) Aww! Thanks!

Andrea: How are you two getting along?

Elliot: Well we have been together for two years.

Andrea: See that's what I mean… I think we just rushed into this and its just going to blow up in our faces.

Elliot: Is this how you feel or what J.D. is projecting on you?

Andrea: What do you mean?

Elliot: Well whenever J.D. gets serious about someone he always finds away to sabotage the relationship.

Andrea: Maybe… but I really think this is how I feel.

Elliot: Then don't know how to help you.

SHE TURNS TO KEITH AND THE TWO BEGIN TO MAKE OUT AND ANDREA SITS THERE ANGRY. CARLA COMES UP TO THEM AND JOINS THEM.

Carla: I kind of miss when they weren't speaking to each other.

Andrea: me too.

Carla: What's wrong?

Andrea: J.D. won't help around the apartment?

Carla: Really, he used to do a lot around our place.

Andrea: Did he do his own laundry?

Carla: And mine too.

Andrea: What the hell? Ugh! He is so irritating! (Gets up and walks away)

Carla: (two the too making out) Elliot, Dr. Kelso is right behind you.

THE COUPLE BREAKS APART.

Elliot: sorry Dr. Kelso, I was just showing Keith how to breath into a patient while giving cpr… (realizes he isn't around) Carla, that wasn't funny.

Carla: yeah but I don't want to watch the two of you eat each others faces while I'm eating. I might puke.

Elliot: You are just jealous that you and Turk aren't as close as you used because of the baby and Keith and I are because now we are living together.

Carla: Turk and I are fine! In fact we are better then ever! In fact I got to go find him right now!

ELLIOT AND KEITH BEGIN TO MAKE OUT AGAIN.

Dr. Kelso: (comes up behind them and clears his throat)

THE COUPLE BREAKS APART AGAIN.

Elliot: (to Keith) Dr. Kelso is right behind me isn't he?

Keith: yup

END OF SCENE

COMMERICAL

ACT 2
SCENE 1

PAITENTS ROOM

J.D.: Mr. Peterson, would you like us to call your wife to let her know where you are.

Mr. Peterson: don't have a wife.

J.D.: Girlfriend?

Mr. Peterson: (sadly) don't have one of those either. I scared her off when we moved in together.

J.D.: omg! I can't let that happen to us. (Scared) I'm so sorry.

Perry: Alright, I'll get one of the nurses to call your family. Dr. Dorian can I talk to you outside.

THE HALLWAY

Perry: What the hell is your problem Stephanie?

J.D.: I'm sorry I'm just really freaked out right now.

Perry: about having to call a patients family? You have done that several times, its easier then making a diagnosis.

J.D.: No, it's just that lately Andrea and I have been fighting a lot.

Perry: (grabs his hair) Oh crap… of course you tricked me into asking you what was wrong… and now I am going to have to listen to you go on and on all day about your problems with my daughter. I thought that after she heard you slept with the entire female hospital staff aside from your intern Gloria that she would dump your ass. I'm surprised you made it this far.

J.D.: Well what do you do when you think Jordan is going to leave you?

Perry: She already left me once newbie, do you think that I'm good at giving you advice on relationships?

END OF SCENE

ACT 2
SCENE 2

LUNCH ROOM

JORDAN AND TURK ARE SITTING AT A TABLE WITH A LIST IN FRONT OF THEM.

Turk: What's that?

Jordan: A list of all the available women of the hospital.

Turk: It has one name.

Jordan: That was willing to go out with the Janitor.

Turk: Really? Not even the laundry room lady wouldn't date him?

Jordan: She's dating a hells angel.

Turk: So what are we going to do with Lisa?

Jordan: Pay her off to take him out on a date.

Turk: And why would we want to do that?

Jordan: I got nothing else better to do.

Lisa: (walks up) So what did I do?

Jordan: What are you talking about?

Lisa: Well when Carla told me someone from the Board of Trustees wanted to see me I kind of figured I was in trouble.

Turk: You are right; they will make a good couple. They are both annoying.

Jordan: How would you feel about making a hundred extra bucks?

Lisa: What would I have to do?

END OF SCENE

ACT 2
SCENE 3

DR. KELSOS OFFICE.

Andrea: (walks in) you wanted to see me Sir?

Dr. Kelso: Dr. Dorian has been having trouble with some of his patients.

Andrea: And you called me in here because?

Dr. Kelso: He is a good doctor but I notice whenever he starts dating someone and it gets serious he freaks out. I have been waiting for this to happen for months but its worse then it normally is.

Andrea: Okay, so what you want me to break up with him?

Dr. Kelso: No! Normally I do not get involved in my co-workers lives because I do not care. But when it starts to affect their work then it just irritates me.

Andrea: alright, well what do you want me to do?

Dr. Kelso: Sit. (Andrea does so) Is he having a hard time satisfying you?

Andrea: Uh… you could say that…

Dr. Kelso: Ah ha! I knew it.

Andrea: Just get to the point.

Dr. Kelso: when Enid and I first got married I had trouble satisfying her too but you know what helped.

Andrea: (looks disgusted) I'm afraid to ask.

Dr. Kelso: She taught me what I needed to do instead of taking out on me.

Andrea: Oh ew! (runs out)

J.D.: Sometimes you can get advice from a place you least expect it.

END OF SCENE

ACT 2
SCENE 4

DOCTORS LOUNGE

Perry: Listen Newbie, as long as you and her are on the same page you guys will be just fine.

J.D.: Really?

Perry: Yeah its not about how fast or slow you move its about moving at the same pace together.

J.D.: Thanks Dr. Cox.

Perry: Well I did my one good deed for the year. Don't come around and ask me for more help till next year.

J.D.: Next month is going to be next year.

Perry: Damnit.

J.D.: And sometimes you give advice that you didn't even know you knew.

NURSES STATION

LISA, TURK, JORDAN AND THE JANITOR ARE ALL GATHERED AROUND.

Lisa: Um… pick me up at… you know what why don't we just meet at the restaurant.

Janitor: Sounds good!

Lisa: (disgusted) Yeah… see you then. (walks off)

Janitor: (smiles) Yep! (turns to Turk and Jordan) And you couldn't set me up with the blonde doctor. We have already been on a date! I'm used to her.

Turk: Who?

Janitor: Never mind!

Carla: (walks up to them) Turk, I'm sorry I haven't discussed the baby's names with you. I'm just a little hormonal and jealous right now.

Turk: Jealous? Jealous of what?

Carla: Well I'm a few weeks ahead of Jordan and she gave birth before I did.

Turk: Oh… Carla, you shouldn't be jealous of that. The baby is going to come in its own good time. Even if its late, its showing us that it will do what it wants when it wants… its already taking after you!

Carla: Aww baby!

ELLIOT AND KEITH WALK BY JUST THEN AND CARLA GRABS TURK AND GIVES HIM A KISS.

Carla: See Elliot! Turk and I are fine too!

Turk: Wow baby you get jealous a lot!

Carla: Shut up and kiss me!

J.D.: and sometimes you admit something that has eating you up inside that you didn't think was really bothering you all that much.

Perry: (walks up) So Jordan, think of any good names yet?

Jordan: Nope, did you?

Perry: No, but she isn't even a year yet, we don't have to name her right away.

Doug: You should name her Jill, you know so they can be Jack and Jill.

Jordan: What about Lauren?

Perry: You want to name her after Andrea's mom?

Jordan: Why not? No one else besides the three of us will know.

Perry: I'm just so surprised how laid back about this whole thing you are.

Jordan: Well I got into the pills on the blind candy stripers tray earlier.

Perry: Hey Carla, can you get Lauren written on the baby's tag before Jordan changes her mind?

J.D.: Sometimes you realize that you have been taking someone for granted and not even knew it.

END OF SCENE

ACT 2
SCENE 5

JD AND ANDREA'S APARTMENT

Andrea: (walks in) Wow! What happened in here? Did you call merry maids?

J.D.: No I cleaned it all up.

Andrea: Thanks.

J.D.: Yeah and look I'm sorry I have been slacking around here. I'm going to try to help out a lot more.

Andrea: I really appreciate that.

J.D.: I've just been really nervous you know. I haven't been in a serious relationship like this before.

Andrea: Yeah I was too. But from now instead of getting angry at you for dumb things I'm going to show you what is wrong so we can be on the same page.

J.D.: (smiles) But I just wanted to let you know I'm not nervous anymore.

Andrea: Me either.

THE TWO KISS

Andrea: But don't think for a second because you cleaned all this that I'm letting you keep rowdy out.

J.D.: Can we at least keep him in the bathroom?

Andrea: Push your luck and he will be kept in the dumpster.

J.D.: We are so on the same page now. And sometimes you realize that everything you were running from is what you wanted all along.

END OF SCENE

FADE OUT