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Gomp was happy. He had a shiny thing. He turned it over and over in his grubby green hands, mesmerized by the light glinting off the object. Another orc reached over and grabbed at it, and Gomp shoved him away.

"Mine!" He grunted in his guttural language. "Get own"

The other orc postured and growled, but Gomp was determined. Defeated, the other creature turned and slinked away. Gomp smiled. It was a good day.

The dwarves reached the top of a hill and looked down at the orc encampment. They were truly foolish, for they had posted only two guards, both of which now lay in bloody heaps far away from the others. Armin looked at the others.

"Ideas?"

Kendrac and Rom whispered, giggled and snickered, then Rom looked at Armin.

"Klerk puts Rom in the fire, Rom jumps out. Good diver...dever...div..." Rom frowned, trying to find the word.

"Diversion?" Offered Toren.

"Diversion" Rom agreed, his bucket helm bobbing up and down. Kendrac giggled.

Armin stroked his beard for a moment, then nodded his agreement as well. "Sounds like it be a good idea ta me. All ready?"

The others nodded, reading their weapons.

"Good. Toren, circle 'round part way to th' left, Strom, yerself'll go t'other side. I be here. When Kendrac's spell goes off, hit em hard. Try an save the humans, ifen they be alive.

Toren and Strom nodded and headed off. Armin readied his axe and looked at Kendrac and Rom.

"Ready?"

They both nodded.

"Then do it." He said and turned to prepare to attack.

Kendrac stood up, placed a hand on Rom's shoulder and began to speak.

"Me takes a drink, and in a blink, me dunno where he done go
So me rubs me eyes, and I like pies, and his arse is in the snow"

Rom cocked his head to the side as it began to snow, right over top of him. Armin glanced over his shoulder briefly, shook his head and looked back towards the orcs, as Kendrac completed his casting.

Wif anudder blink, I dun do fink, him goes away VROOM VROOM
So watch yer back, 'nd yer goldies sack, cuz Rum does no go BOOM!"

And with that, Rom vanished, leaving a small pile of snow.

Gomp continued to eye his shiny thing, when something caught his eye. The fire seemed to have grown bigger, the logs shifting as if to accommodate something. Frowning, he stood and walked towards the fire. He leaned forward and poked at the fire with his rusted sword.

"Owich!" came from within the fire.

"Owich?" repeated a perplexed Gomp. He poked the fire again.

"Ow! Stoppit!" The fire said.

Gomp dropped his sword and backed away, looking at the fire. Suddenly, in a shower of sparks, a figure burst forth from the fire and ran towards Gomp. The orc shrieked and backed away, tripping over other orcs. They blinked and stares, jaws agape. The fiery figure stumbles across the ground after the scrambling orc. With a strange hoot, the fiery figure leapt through air and grabbed Gomp in a blazing hug. The orc screamed in pain as he was buried by the figure. His last thought as his skin melted from his face, was that the figure hugging him was wearing a bucket on its head.

At that moment, three war cries split the night air. The orcs that were not still staring at the thrashing burning figures, looked up and around, grunting in surprise as the other three dwarves ran down the hill, weapons raised on high. What followed could only be described as a disaster. Orcs ran pell mell in different directions, pushing, shoving, biting and cursing as they tried to get to their weapons. One dwarf fell to a flying hammer, its face permanently marked with the runes engraved on the hammer. It fell backwards, knocking down two of its companions. Two orcs managed to find an axe, but neither was willing to relinquish it to the other as they pulled on the weapon in different directions. Suddenly, one orc fell to the ground, axe in hand. He grunted in triumph as he stood, shaking the axe at the other orc, tauntingly. The other orc had a blank look on its face as it fell, an axe imbedded in the back of its head. Strom grinned at the orc and swung his remaining axe, slicing off one of its arms. The orc blinked and stared at his arm, still holding the axe, and never saw the back swing that removed its head.

Toren spun his giant maul over his head as he ran down the hill. An orc, wielding a boot as a weapon ran to meet him. The bald dwarf spun his body and lowered his arms, changing the angle of the spinning maul to come down and back up. The head of the weapon connected with the chin of the oncoming orc, launching him backward into the fire pit. With the maul still moving, Toren pivoted and adjusted the arc of the weapon once more, bringing it straight down on the top of another orc's head. The orc crumpled to the ground, amidst the cracking of multiple bones.

Rom, meanwhile had gone out. The fire had faded from his body, leaving him unharmed. He stood and grabbed his frying pan as he spun around, looking for another orc. He was not to be disappointed. Two of the green creatures were charging at him, one wielding a spear, and the other what appeared to be a portion of a wagon wheel. Rom let out a might CLUCK and ran at them. He swung with the cookware, making a solid connection to the spear wielder's face. The orc staggered back a few steps and fell backwards, his face a bloody mess. The orc with the wagon wheel screamed and ran away, up the hill. Rom turned to give chase, but paused as he spotted Kendrac standing atop the hill. The dwarf was speaking and motioning towards the orc.

"Away you go, way up high, where da birdies fly all day
Watch out up der, way up in da air, or you are gonna pay"

With a shriek, the orc shot straight up, into the darkening sky, its legs kicking madly but to no avail. Rom squeaked with delight and pointed at three more orcs, trying to climb the hill towards Kendrac. The white robed dwarf giggled and motioned towards them, speaking in his singsong way once more.

"Now you go to, so you no blue, and take yer friend with you too
"Take a smack instead, upside da head, and den you go boo hoo hoo"

Two more orcs found themselves launched into the air as well, but unlike their hapless companion, these paused and changed directions, hurtling towards Rom. The skillet-wielding dwarf howled with laughter as he readied his pan. As the first one neared, Rom reared back and swung with all his might, connecting with the helpless orc and sending him flying to the other side of the fire. He watched it fly, forgetting about the second orc, who slammed into him, sending them both to the ground. Unfortunately for the orc, Rom was the stronger of the two, and managed to gain the upper hand in the wrestling match that followed. He pulled the orc's arms together, and tied them into a knot. Kendrac clapped his hands with glee as he watched his friend, then blinked as the club from the third orc smacked him. He eeped and started running, speaking yet another spell.

"Hard as a rock, like Rum's head, 'nd when you fall it hurts
Up it goes, to smack yer nose, cuz it jumps out of da dirt"

As the orc chased after Kendrac, a giant wall of stone burst forth from the ground directly in front of the oncoming creature. Kendrac grinned as he heard a meaty wet thump, and turned around. He walked back to the wall and gave it a little shove. It fell over, crushing the orc.

Armin rolled into the fray like a tornado of death. He swung his axe around, splitting one orc in half at the waist, and on he return swing, he cleaved off the arm of another. He kicked at a third as he released his axe and plucked a mace and flail from his weapons harness. The spiked ball spun on its chain as he swung his mace at a fourth creature. That one ducked, and then grinned. That grin became permanent as the spiked ball of the flail slammed into its head, sticking there. The orc fell to the ground, lifeless, but happy.

Within moments, the orcs were beaten. None survived. The dwarves were for the most part, unharmed. They met in the center by the fire.

"Well done, me friends." Armin grinned through his bloody red beard. "they never had a chance."

The other dwarves all nodded at each other, Rom and Kendrac giggling as usual, and then began to examine the bodies. They found the two humans, alive, but shaken. They gave them clothes and weapons, as well as some coin and directions to the nearest town. Kendrac and Rom rooted through bodies, oohing and ahhing over trinkets and baubles.

"Oooh! Shiny!" one or the other would say as they picked something up. Toren and Strom looked at Armin.

"We know, we know. It be a long story." they both said in unison, before Armin could reply.