Mulder saw the blush and reacted quickly, not wanting the atmosphere to turn awkward, especially since they were so comfortable around each other by now.

"You don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable talking about it."

"No, no, that's okay." rushed Monica "I don't mind. We're actually talking, finding out about each other and I would like that to continue." there were a couple of seconds of silence while she gathered her thoughts

"You know, I had my whole life planned out when I was younger and it was nothing like it turned out. I'd graduate from high school at 18, from college at 22, get married by 26, have 2 children by 30,... Now I'm 34 and, aside from the first 2, none of my plans came true. Even though my mother was deeply religious I never was, even though she had tried to make me. Mainly because organized religion turns me off. I never like to feel like a pawn in someone's plans, either that of a superior being or of the clergy. Or of some stupid politician. As for the other things... I guess I just never met the right man to start a family with. I don't want to settle down for the sake of having a family, god no, I'm not that desperate. I'd settle down only if I'd really love the man, everything else would just come naturally."

Mulder grinned and waggled his eyebrows suggestively, making Monica blush at the realization of how her words had sounded.

She had realized quite early on, after Mulder had risen from the dead, that he had a dirty mind.

She'd heard Scully mutter something about 'dirty videos that weren't his' and the conclusion wasn't hard to draw.

A man who was single for a long time had to find release some way. Better porn than going out to some bar and pick up strangers, either ending up with an STD or with an unwanted child. No method of birth control is 100 effective and even barren women aren't sometimes so barren. Mulder and Scully's one night stand with consequences just proved that. Besides, she wasn't that innocent herself, as her battery-operated intimate friend in her underwear drawer could confirm.

"And then I met John. Can't say it was love at first sight, but he was still married at that point. With time I fell in love with him and it is why I came to the X-Files. But over these past few months I've realized that nothing will ever come from that. He's still in love with his ex-wife and I can't blame him for that. He's just one of those rare men that, when they fall in love, they fall in love for life. It took me time to realize that, time I could've used to see if there is the right one for me out there. Soon after I John met and he got divorced I just stopped looking, hoping that he'd see me as more than just a friend some day. But it never happened and I realized that it never will. And now I'm 34 and single, without a prospect of it changing any time soon."

She stopped there and her eyes narrowed as she realized something. "You know, we've talked about Scully and you, but you never said what your plans were or what you want, not wanted. So, spill it, buster, I want the full disclosure."

Mulder grinned sheepishly. "You got me. And I thought it was going so well... Woe me, now I have to give you the full monty."

Monica choked and giggled at the phrase. Well, the naked truth is something like stripping. She'd hoped that Mulder wouldn't give her a real full monty and start stripping right there and then. On the other hand...

'He is a very attractive male specimen, even though he'd recently been tortured by aliens (had the weird scars to prove it), experimented upon, killed, was dead, buried, was under the ground for months, excavated and risen had from the dead. He certainly is resillient and that's a good trait for a man. Comes in quite handy in marriage, it means that he wouldn't take his things and run at the first sign of trouble and complications.'

Monica shook her head. 'I've been single for too long. Now I'm thinking of Mulder and marriage in the same sentence. Even though the man is in love and having a baby with another woman. Yet, he'd told me that he and Dana would never be more than friends, even with the baby... I've got to stop this line of thought. Focus, Monica!'

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