They had decided on a small bar and quickly found seats.

A young, pretty waitress approached them soon and asked for their orders, while eyeing Mulder appreciatively.

"What can I get you folks?" she asked, quickly checking Mulder's ring finger and satisfied that it was empty.

"I'll have a Ceasar Salad." said Monica.

"And I'll have a Wiener Schnitzel, with fries and a mixed salad." ordered Mulder and handed over the menu.

"No problem." said the waitress as she not-so-subtly fixed her name tag, which read Catherine, while deliberately bringing Mulder's attention to her generous bosom. She licked her lips once she'd written down their orders and left, swaying her hips seductively. Monica just sent a contemptous glance after her and turned to Mulder.

She raised her eyebrow, demanding. "Do you know how many calories are in that thing?"

Mulder shrugged, grinning. "I've been tortured by aliens for months, was starved, and then dead and buried for another few months, during which I couldn't eat. I have to make up for it."

She shook her head. "If you continue like that you'll be dead and buried again, soon, and this time there won't be any way of reviving you."

Mulder rolled his eyes. "Yes, Mom."

She shuddered. "Please, don't call me that, I'm not that old. Plus, I don't have any maternal feelings towards you." Too late did she realize her slip.

"Oh?" Mulder was intrigued and leaned towards her. "And what kind of feelings do you have for me, Agent Reyes?"

Monica mimicked him, leaning forwards, almost touching his lips with hers. "That would be very complicated to explain and they are very overwhelming. I don't think I can control them." she whispered in a husky, seductive voice.

Mulder was entranced by her deep brown eyes and started to lean in closer, when she said. "I mean, I've always wanted a brother who would be just like you and now I have him. You don't know how that overwhelms me."

These words broke Mulder's trance and he shot upright in his chair, eyes widening in shock.

Monica tried to keep it in, but she could hold herself back anymore and errupted into hysterical giggling.

Mulder just glared at her in reproach. "I can't believe I fell for it. That was not nice, Monica."

She composed herself enough to shoot back "Oh, I think it was fabulous, Fox." she drawled out his name, delighted when she saw him wince at the sound of it and then errupted into giggles again.

Mulder sat back and just watched her. "You know, you should laugh more, you're too serious. Must be all that time you've spent with Doggett and Scully. Please, don't tell me that they will convert you to the dark side also."

The waitress appeared then, cutting off Monica's response. The young woman obviously had her sights set on Mulder because, when she laid down his plate, she leaned over far enough to give him a generous glimpse down her even more generous cleavage.

Mulder obviously liked what he saw and Monica's eyes narrowed.

When the waitress left, with an added sway to her hips that had Mulder's eyes rivetted to her tight buttocks, Monica muttered. "You men are such pigs."

This was the one thing to say to definitely bring Mulder's attention back to her. "Why?"

She looked at him as though he were insane. "You just have to get a glimpse of breasts and ass and you're drooling, not to mention you completely forget everything else. You think only of sex."

Mulder smiled a self-depricating smile. "Do you know how long it's been since the last time I saw a woman naked? Heck, I didn't even see Scully naked that one time, she still had her top on and it was dark."

Monica's expression clearly said 'I did not need to hear that.'

Mulder shrugged. 'Call it payback for the pig comment.' said his own expression.

Her eyes narrowed and she glared at him. He smiled back innocently.

"Anyway, back to the topic. There was only one woman I've seen naked in the last 10 years. And she was a vampire. During these past 10 years I was also dead for a while. Did I forget to mention that?"

She shook her head. "No, you've already mentioned it once."

"Oh. So, yeah, there you have it. I've been deprived of seeing the wonders and beauty of the female body for a long time, during my best years and sexual peak, which is why I now have to take every chance to make up for it."

"You have a lot of things to make up for." she muttered angrily.

"Uh huh." Mulder was attacking his steak with gusto. Monica shrugged and tucked into her own salad.

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AN: come one, people, don't make me beg for reviews!