Author's note: OK this chapter is the reason for the rating. It's also the last one I wrote because I then saw the new Female Asian Probie (FAP) on NCIS. Thank you YouTube for that, by the way, otherwise I would not have seen it until my youngest starts school next year. Firstly, I like my FAP a whole lot better, secondly, I hope the real NCIS FAP goes the way of Chip really soon now (sing along: Follow the yellow Chip road, follow the yellow Chip road) and thirdly, the actress did look small enough to fit under McGee's desk. Keep a look out to see if McGee looks really happy one day at his desk. -

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McGee walked into the bullpen and stopped. It was empty. It was nearly lunchtime, he considered, maybe they had all gone to lunch. Gone to lunch without him? That would have been unusual, and he was sure someone would have contacted him if there was a case. He shrugged and decided it was probably a good time to get some of those searches underway without constant distractions.

He made his way down to his desk, absently reading the title of the file he was holding. He tossed it on the desk and sat on his chair. As he went to move his chair, he heard a small voice from under the desk.

"Careful", it whispered.

"What the.." he tilted his head down and saw Doris sitting under his desk.

"What are you doing down there?"

"Abby told me about your little fantasy", said Doris with a smile.

He blinked at her for a moment, "What? Oh you can't be serious?"

"Oh yes."

"But, but, but what if Tony and Ziva come back," he whispered urgently.

"Abby's taken them to lunch", she giggled, "Now if you perch closer to the end of the chair, it will make things easier".

"Doris!" he was torn: fantasy was one thing, reality was something completely different.

"Forward", Doris commanded, "and put on the headset so people don't think you're talking to yourself. This is one occasion where the word 'premature' does not enter into the equation, speed would be good".

He shifted forward on the seat and put on the headset. His eyes scanned the others in the room, quietly going about their work. He felt her quickly undo his zip.

"Abby's got a big mouth", he heard Doris whisper.

"Yes she has", he agreed fervently, I'm going to kill her, or thank her, when I see her next time…"

"That's not what I meant", came Doris' voice again.

"Oh," he said in comprehension which then quickly became an "ohhhhhhhhh" as Doris took him.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to tame the spontaneous spasms of his lower body. He could feel the warmth radiating from his groin and he held onto the keyboard with both hands to brace himself. He found himself rocking and breathing rhythmically, his eyes squeezed shut tightly. Finally, he could not stifle a muffled cry as he convulsed violently in his seat. The keyboard grasped in his hands rose from the desk in his ecstasy, pivoted at his elbows.

At that precise moment the lift doors opened and Tony and Ziva came striding in. Tony was saying something about a case and the two of them rushed to their desks to gather their things.

"Are you coming Probie?" he heard Tony call.

"Oh yes….", McGee grunted, forcing the keyboard back onto the desk.

"You OK?" he heard Tony ask him as he sat panting and sweating at the desk.

"Yeah, ahh, back spasm," he said through gritted teeth, prizing hie eyelids open to focus on Tony's face.

"Where's Doris?" said Tony looking around.

"I'll get her and meet you at the car," McGee's voice had returned to normal, but he was still panting.

"Two minutes", Tony called as he and Ziva raced for the elevator.

The moment the elevator door slid shut, McGee ripped off his headset, pushed back his chair and dropped onto his knees. Doris was sitting under the desk with a rather full mouth, trying not to giggle. He smiled excitedly at her. " No one has ever done that for me."

Still on his knees, he helped her out from under the desk and gave her a brief, surreptitious kiss before quickly repackaging himself. He took her hand and led her quickly to the elevator where they met Tony coming back out.

"Forgot the damn keys", he muttered. Then he looked at Doris, "Where were you?"

"Ah, doing a favour for a friend", she hedged.

"Always stay in contact", Tony warned, "I'll meet you at the car."

McGee and Doris shared guilty glances as they steeped into the lifts, managing to hold of their laughter until the doors shut.

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OK, Any suggestion? I've had absolutely no reviews on this so my short term plan is to let it slide. Though I may get inspired if the real NCIS FAP turns out to be nice or dead. I am just finishing up another fic which is more plot driven and features one of my favourite NCIS plot devices: vomit.