It was our eighth-month anniversary. I made dinner and dressed up, though I wasn't in the mood to. Ron showed up with a bouquet of pink tulips and a smile, kissing me on the forehead as I opened the door for him. I smiled but dropped it as he walked into the kitchen before me, fretting about his reaction.
"Hermione, is there something wrong?" he asked concernedly before he sat down at the table.
"I.. yes Ron, there is," I said, trying to keep my tears at bay.
Stayed in bed all morning just to pass the time
There's something wrong here there can be no denying
One of us is changing or maybe we've just stopped trying
'I'm in love with someone else. I tried so hard to love you but failed miserably, I'm so sorry for leading you on.'
"This isn't working.. I'm tired of trying when it's obvious you won't."
"What?!" Ron yelped. "What are you saying?!"
And it's too late, baby, now it's too late
Though we really did try to make it
Something inside has died and I can't hide and I just can't fake it
"Ron, we fight all the time and it's taxing. When I'm not fighting with you, we seem to be so happy, but it's usually the calm before the storm. I'm tired of trying to make things better when you always find something wrong. My grades have slipped because of the stress."
"Oh, so you're saying I'M stressful? What about you?"
"What about me?" I asked defensively.
It used to be so easy living here with you
You were light and breezy and I knew just what to do
Now you look so unhappy and I feel like a fool
"You are the most high-maintenance person ever! Not appearance-wise, but I can't keep up with you. You fret over why I can't come and see you, or let you know what's going on-"
"That was because I hadn't seen you for a week! I was worried about you! Okay, so you're mad! But when I don't owl you a goodnight every night, you fly off your broom! Can't you see how hard this is?" I argued, tears threatening to fall.
And it's too late, baby, now it's too late
Though we really did try to make it
Something inside has died and I can't hide and I just can't fake it
He saw and automatically moved closer.
"No, please don't. You're not making things easier," I said shakily as I brushed my tears away with the back of my hand.
"What can we do to make things better?" he asked quietly.
I shook my head.
"I don't know Ron, but this isn't working."
There'll be good times again for me and you
But we just can't stay together don't you feel it too
Still I'm glad for what we had, and how I once loved you
"Well, we fight all the time anyways- I can't say I'm not tired of that either," he growled. "It's always a row, then makeup the next day."
He turned to walk out the door, but before he did he asked quietly.
"Did you ever love me Hermione?"
"Yes, I did. But I don't think it's there anymore- the fight went out of me."
And it's too late, baby, now it's too late
Though we really did try to make it
Something inside has died and I can't hide and I just can't fake it
He whispered something odd before he walked out of my door.
"One day fine, the next not.. you can take this love to go.."
--
Ron and I didn't speak to each other for 2 months. For some reason, I felt huge relief at breaking off things with him. It helped me think deeply about what I wanted to do with my life, which were mainly: finish my training, make up with him as friends, tell Blaise how I feel and take driving lessons so I could get around in England.
Like I could ever tell Blaise how I felt about him.
First of all, I'm too much of a coward to go and do that. There's just something about him that scares me, but I like it at the same time.
Second, I didn't want to hurt Little Miss Perfect by telling him I loved him- she would get into a row with him over that, and that would also hurt him and I didn't want to take that chance.
Third, I didn't want him to gloat that he had made Hermione Granger fall for him. The humiliation would be too much to bear, to see him laugh in my face and say, "Well, what made you think I loved, much less liked you in the first place?"
Nonetheless, I decided to try and track him down.
--
I found him in a wizarding teen magazine I discovered in the library. There was an article on him being a rich successful kid, working as a Healer at St. Mungos, who put up his own business at the age of 17, a Spanish café in England of all things.
There was an additional tidbit- it mentioned his equally successful girlfriend, who to my dismay (until now) was also studying here.. and that plans of a marriage were not far off.
The picture seemed to be mocking me- it was of him scooping her up into his arms.
My heart beat so fast, I thought I would have a cardiac arrest.
Tears fell onto the paper and smudged their smug faces as I poured my heart out onto it.
Then someone pulled me into his arms.
"Let go of me," I croaked. I pushed him away, not caring if he saw my tears.
"Love, what's wrong?" he asked, wiping away my tears.
I just couldn't believe it; it was just too surreal.
"You have a girlfriend, soon to be fiancé. Please, let go." I said sadly. I pulled out of his arms and tried walking away. But that was before he gripped my arm.
"Love.." he said softly.
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
Bloody hell.
Is he nutters?"If anyone sees you with me, you're ruined." I said sharply.
"You may not be my girlfriend, but you're someone who's been and is still close to me. Now tell me what's wrong. I am not leaving until you tell me," he said.
"Not here," I shook my head.
We walked to my dormitory, where Faye was more than happy to give us privacy. All the dormitories had Imperturbable Charms, so I wasn't worried. I locked the door and then started making him coffee. My hands were shaking though; the spoon was rattling against the mug so badly that he looked up and said, "Let me just do that, it's okay."
I moved away from the kitchen counter, putting my face in my hands. "Why have I been reduced to such a wreck?" I wailed.
He put his arms around me; I inhaled his woodsy scent. I loved it; Ron's cologne was a bit overwhelming.
"Relax.." he instructed. "Inhale, exhale."
I did just that and started to calm down.
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
He led me to the sofa and sat me down. "Now, tell me what's wrong," he said, looking at me concernedly.
I sighed. "Ron and I broke up."
"When did this happen?" he asked, looking bewildered.
"Two months ago," I said wearily.
He took my hands in his, before kissing the back of each.
I gasped at that and stared at him.
"What did you just do?" I asked him warily.
"I wanted to make you feel better, and I thought that would help," he simply said.
I shook my head sadly. "It's making things worse."
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
And you bleed just to know you're alive
He had that bewildered look on his face again. If I didn't feel so bad, I would have laughed.
"How so?"
"I.. I.." I stammered. "It's wrong," I said wildly, more to myself than to him.
"Why is it wrong? We're friends," he said wonderingly.
"Because it is!" I stood up furiously. "What's wrong is that.. that.."
"What?" he stood up as well, running his hand through his hair in sheer frustration. "What are you not telling me?"
I exploded. "I love you, okay?! I only realized it when it was too late. I thought I could get over you, but I hadn't. I thought I would be happy with Ron, but I wasn't. So now.." I helplessly raised my hands, as if to say 'what now?'
He opened his mouth to speak, but I continued on. "But it's okay. I've accepted that you and Daphne are happy together, and will get married and have two point five children. But someday, maybe, I will move on. After all, there are lots of guys there.." I trailed off absently.
"Don't talk like that," he said angrily.
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
What?
This is very bizarre..
"What?" I asked in disbelief.
"The thought of you with all those guys lining up outside your door-" he made a frustrated sound.
"You have Daphne," I said, shrugging. That gesture has grown on me, even though it's so.. so improper.
"Yes, but.."
"Stop that thought," I said quickly. "Don't continue, just don't. Don't don't don't!"
He smiled. "Remember the time when, before you went to Hogsmeade, I fixed your shirt?"
"Yes.." I said cautiously. "Why?"
"You looked just like that one time," he said reminiscently.
FLASHBACK"What now?" I whine.
"You sound like a kid," he said with a small smile.
"No seriously, what now?" I asked, staring at him.
"Well if you won't change, at least button it up," he said, reaching for the buttons.
"Eep!" I squeak as he pulls me toward him to button up my Lacoste polo.
"Stop!" I say indignantly as he buttoned them all up, being careful not to touch where he wasn't supposed to.
"All better," he said, stepping back. "Oh, and when you wear that skirt, keep your legs together," he said warningly.
"Well, aren't we cheery," I said, rolling my eyes. "Well, I feel much better, having talked to you."
"I can't say the same," he said bleakly.
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
"Why? Did I transfer all my weariness onto you?" I asked worriedly.
"No, but.. I don't know what to do. There's you, and there's Daphne."
Is he joking?!
I should set him right.
"Well that's easy," I said. "Choose her. She's perfect for you. You two have been friends from way back, you had a crush on her since school, she's pretty and smart and cultured and rich and most important of all, a pureblood. You'd be much better off with her than with me." I enumerated all those points on my fingers.
"But you're different. There's something different about you. You're also pretty, you're also smart, you're a Muggleborn (although I don't care about that).. I don't know about the rest but you're different- you're special, you're.."
"Me," I finished. "Someone you have gotten over already."
"The problem is, I still think about you," he said softly.
I stared at him. "You're joking."
"No, I'm not."
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Now it's confirmed- Blaise Zabini is mental. Call the funny farm!"Blaise, you should go to Daphne now, she's probably looking for you.." was all I could say.
He nodded. "You're right. This is wrong, completely wrong."
He hugged me briefly. I treasured this moment, as this would probably be our last, having let go of him for good.
And then he brushed his lips against mine.
I felt tingles everywhere. Before I could stop myself, I kissed him back. He pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arms around my waist. I put my hands in his hair, running them through it as he ran his tongue along my lips. I opened my mouth and he entered it eagerly; exploring, needing more.
This is so much better than Ron's kisses.
I pulled away, out of breath. I smiled at him; his hair was disheveled and he looked flushed. I suppose I looked the same.
I ran my hand through his hair, fixing it.
"Bye love. See you around.. someday?" he asked hopefully.
"Yeah," I said quietly.
He left, leaving me to my thoughts.
I had fallen asleep, and never had I had such a peaceful evening. It was like all those worries had been put away for good. Okay, I still love him, but I feel better about letting him go.
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
--
Hello!!:D Sorry for being a bit late with the update.. it's just that we were out all day. We had testing today for tae kwon do, and I'm happy that's over. Then we went out to eat lunch, sent home money, bought a birthday present and went to my second cousin's partyXD
Whew, longest chapter ever for this story!!TT Aww, I thought I wouldn't like this as much as Lovefool, but I'll miss writing this:P Oh well, there is the third and last one to deal with:D
Anyways, reviews!! Which I love as much as smileys!!:)
roxierose13: Well, just check out the last chapter (next chapter!!TT) and tell me what you thought- I think these scene made the ending better than Lovefool's. Oh, and thanks for reviewing for Lovefool!!:P
Cande-dhrmspotter: Yea!! Blaise!!XD Wahahahahahaha:P I hope this made up for all the sadness last chapter:)
Un Petit Diable: Haha, Hermione finally had an epiphany!!:P The world has frozen overXD And Ron is just.. well, Ron. Shrugs- I just don't know what to do about him, haha!!:P
Padfoot's Sidekick: All done with that!! Finally- it was a bit pissing reading all their fights. I read the whole thing over at times, and I was a bit annoyed, haha!!:P No random funny chapters though.. maybe in the possible sequel??:D
emptyli'lfirefly: Ahh.. you wanna know my secret??:P I'll give it next chapter at the very end if you're nice..;) HahahaXD But really, doing the story that way was the reason why I had finished Lovefool and not Blast to the Past:D Yeah- Daphne is just too sweet to hate!!TT
IsInGcAuZeIlUv2: Hahaha, well I do have an MSN- rochena9 username:P and YM, if you do use that:P I hope you liked this chapter!;)
Queen of Serpents: Wahahaha!!XD You rule!!:P Go run for president next term and I'll vote!!XD
Hawaiian-Rachael: Hahaha, I really hope this chapter is to your liking..:P Sue me if you don't, heheheXD