A/N: Aww! You guys are so sweet! Five reviews! For ONE chapter :dances: I can't believe it!
CeeKay: Of course I'm reading! I've followed stories for over a dozen chapters that aren't half as good as this! I can't wait to see what you do with this.
Ugh, Now I'll feel guilty about half of everything I'm going to do to them! Arg... hehhe... And those stories were probably better then you're letting on. Fire isn't half as good as you people seem to think...
Twice as bad as Chapter 3? Oh dear. I better make sure I have plenty tissues on hand.
Well, it made my friends who LIVE for angst and constantly tell me I'm really good at it and then get HYPER after reading my stuff, er, they were depressed for a couple days. :cackles: It was great. Even though I pretty much couldn't talk to Jon or Erin at all...
I can't wait to read Chapter 5. I'm a musician, so I'm used to sitting on the edge of my seat, but this is ridiculous!
Wait no more! Scootch! Reeeead! A Musician eh'? What do you play? I'm a pianist, (in my 11th year, but I'm actually not as good as you'd think) and I've been thinking about dropping piano for something different...
Szhismine: AH! A new reader :tackles: It's soo good to see you! Thank you thank you thank you! I love your review! I love it! I'm continueing! I hope you like! AH! A new reader! AH!
Jedi-lover: This is a very interesting and well written story.
:turns bright red: Aww... You're too sweet.
I like it.
:hugs:
But what the heck is wrong with Mara?
A lot of stuff. I think I fully explain it all in the next chapter, but, this one just gives you a glimps of what her life is like normally. With Leia and the Solo clan anyways.
While Luke and Mara are down at the medical ward they better stock up on a bunch of Zoloft or Prozac. Mara really needs to break out of her self-deprecating, destructive behavior.
Oh she will, but it'll be shock and guilt that'll knock her out of her- wait, no, she gets worse actually, she just starts doing stuff to save people. Anyways. A Self-Deprecating, Distructively-Behaving Mara is FUN!
Thank you OH SO much for taking time to read this! You make my day so much better!
Mishi: If Mara had actually been written with some of these struggles, I'd like her a LOT better.
:Sniffles: Mara has so much potential as a character, it pains me to see them screw her up! And besides, writing in troubles is far easier then fixing them. I'm glad you seem to find my variation of Mara to be more standable. You have no idea how much hearing something like that makes my heart feel lighter. I take it you're not exactly a rabid Mara-Fan like most of us, eh?... And yet you still read this story! And you thought well enough of it to review it! I can't tell you how much it means to me.
As it is, your title made me think that her favorite shade of hair dye was cancelled, so shallow is she.
:LAUGHS: Oh dear! Oh dear! Hair Dye! Oh gosh oh gosh... Eheheheh... Close, but no dice. Mara doesn't use Hair Dye, anyways, unless she's going on a mission... Hehe... Out of curioisity, did this story seem improved or just interesting?
SailorLeia: Dear Mel,Wow, that is easier, alot better on my fingers!
:Giggles: Told yah so! I'm so glad you're taking me seriously. On my main SWFF site(the one where I first started posting all of these stories) everyone calls me "Jaidling", "AJ", "Imp", "Queen of Silliness" or "Queen of Death". Meh. They drive me nuts, they really really do...
Some author's names are so long ((Yeah, this coming from someone with a mouthful name, like SailorLeia! Then again it's not the nine letter monstrosity of my real name! Christina, I have to make everyone shorten it to Tina!))
:nods: One of my favorite author's is Trickster-Jaina-Fel, and I HATE writing it out! It takes so long! ((Your name-SailorLeia- isn't that bad! It kinda reminds me of my brother Jon's... His is RK-Striker-5... Well, not really reminds me so much as that he's probably the only+25 year old guy that I know who is obsessed with Sailor Moon... Your name is Christina! That's such a pretty name! Although I'd probably nickname yousomething like "Ristin" instead of"Tina"...:grins impishly:))
ANYWAYS! ANOTHER WONDERFUL CHAPTER! I love how your story deals with real issues that could 'really'occur between everyone's favorite couple!
I'm finding it rather difficult however, to keep Mara locked into this slightly depressed attitude. :cough:More then slightly. :cough: I know what you mean about "really occuring", but at the same time, Star Wars is almost too... um... kiddieish? To deal with things like this. They're getting more and more adult now, but they're also losing readers right and left. I don't think they'd really want to deal with a depressed, more-then-slightly-psychotic assassin who has massive Force talent. ((Think Vader, just more dangerous))
It's a breath of fresh-air really ((I love fluff too, don't get me wrong. But I really find your tale refreshing!))
It's not only a breath of fresh-air, Dah'lin, it's about to get positivly arctic around here:cackles: Oh I adore fluff! Can I write fluff? Uh... Not really... The only fluff I've written, I wrote for characters I DISPISE:Shudders:
And I'm glad you don't mind my long, wordy reveiws. They do have a tendacity to get long on me, amazing how those things sneak up on you!
Oh but they're so much fun when they sneak up on you! Long, wordy reviews are one of the reason I can keep up writing theses stories. :hugs: Thank you so much Ristin. :cough: ((or do you want me to call you SaiL?))
Keep up the wonderful work, I'll definitly be reading.
YAY! That means you'll be reading Chapter IV in a couple seconds! YAY:hugs: Thanks so much for putting up with this...
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Chapter Four
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Mara woke up with her cheek pressed against a very warm chest, and a shirt clutched tightly in her fists. Two strong arms were wrapped around her back, holding her securely and offering her a safe haven that she clung to as best she could.
A gentle flutter of hope seemed to poke her through the bond she shared with Luke, and Mara whimpered, but forced herself to reach back to him and not shy away.
The wave of relief that swept over Mara made her feel ashamed of herself, as well as reminded her of the promise she had made herself.
"Luke?" Mara whispered, opening her eyes a little and tipping her head back to stare at his cheek.
"Yes, love?" Luke whispered back, looking down at Mara's shadowy green eyes, his gentle smile turning his eyes into a brilliant sky blue color that made her feel warm. "You slept well?"
"Mm-hmm," Mara nodded minutely. "Can we go now?"
Luke let go of her with one arm and reached over to press a red circle on the side of her bed. "As soon as the doctor says so, I promise."
Mara's eyes darkened a bit, but she refused to acknowledge the fear, mistrust, sorrow, and panic his words instilled in her. Her instinctive shielding flew into place around the blackness that threatened her soul, and once again, Mara seemed to be wholly of light, and not tainted by the darkness that lurked inside.
"I trust you Luke," Mara whispered with a smile, closing her eyes and nestling her head under his chin to hide the wary disbelief that was painted in her quiet jade green eyes. I do, she tried to assure herself. He doesn't mean to hurt me on purpose. He honestly means what he says. I can trust him.
If I can trust him, then why does his smile make me want to turn around and run? Mara wondered inside her heart, unwilling to give the feelings he stirred in her names.
Mara Jade Skywalker was afraid of nothing. Not even of loving someone. Not even of giving her heart to another. Especially not that.
Even when it was true.
-
Almost a week later, Mara and Luke were finally ready to leave Coruscant. The Solo clan had been able to tear themselves away to see them off, and Leia was sincerely wishing she hadn't tried so hard to make it. It was difficult for her to watch Mara interact with her babies. Particularly when she knew that they were all blinded by Mara's seeming good-nature. Shavit, sometimes even Leia herself was fooled by the phoenix haired woman.
Leia's attention snapped back to her children. The twins were pouting and Anakin was unashamedly hanging onto Mara's waist. Leia barely suppressed a growl of irritation. Get away from them! she wanted to yell.
"Do you have to go?" Anakin pleaded, his big blue eyes imploring her to give in to his request. Leia's anger grew tenfold as Mara brushed a hand through his hair, smiling at her youngest nephew.
"Yes, I have to go," Mara chided him gently. "Besides, you'll be coming to Yavin IV soon."
"Not before Jaca and Jaya," Anakin grumbled, burying his face in her side. "They'll get to see you more, sooner."
Mara pulled his head back with a grin. "Can you blame them? After all, they were born before you were."
Anakin blushed. "It wasn't my fault; I don't think..." he fell silent for a moment, appearing to consider the meaning of this. "No," he finally announced. "It's Dad's fault, I'm positive! I couldn't have done anything about it."
Han's mouth gaped open, and the other adults broke out laughing, even Leia. "Now see here-" Han demanded, taking a step forward.
"I'd really rather not." Luke muttered and Leia laughed even louder. An odd look flitted across Mara's face at Luke's teasing of his brother-in-law, but only Anakin noticed it.
Luke stepped up behind his wife and wrapped an arm around her waist, forcing Anakin to pull away from her with a disappointed look on his face. "Aww," Anakin complained. "You're not going to get all mushy are you?"
Luke kissed Mara's neck and smirked at Anakin, "Don't tell your mom."
"Awww," Anakin grumbled.
Mara crossed her arms across her stomach, holding Luke's arms lightly and leaning back against his chest. "We have to get going, we're already an hour behind."
"Aww!"
"Noo!"
"You can't-"
All three children burst out talking at the same time, unwilling to let Luke and Mara escape them.
Mara sighed inwardly and smiled wearily. She loved the kids, really she did, but sometimes (like now), she just wanted to wash her hands of them and be done. Luke turned his head to the side and pressed a kiss to the top of Mara's head to hide a smile at her thoughts.
"I thought you wanted children just like them," Luke whispered in her ear and Mara's face turned almost as red as her hair.
Anakin scolded his uncle for making his aunt blush, but Mara wasn't paying attention to them anymore. She needed to get out. Away from their cheerful, untainted, well-meaning selves that only made her feel worse about the darkness she held trapped inside her.
Breaking away from her husband's embrace, Mara knelt down and hugged Anakin. "Take care of your dad, you hear Squirt?" Mara admonished lightly, mussing up his hair.
"Hey!" Anakin protested, trying to smooth his hair down again. He grinned toothily at his aunt, letting his laughter spill out through his blue eyes. "Sure thing Aunt Mara. Dad won't ever know either."
"Oh I won't?" Han grumbled, turning to his wife. "Why're they talking about me like I'm not here!"
"Not now dear," Leia said absentmindedly.
Han threw his hands up in the air. "Never mind."
Jaina hugged her aunt, while Jacen just offered a hand shake, and Mara smiled at how grown-up he was trying to seem. "Take care of your mom, okay?" Mara tried to wheedle out of them.
"Nah, she can take of herself – and us! She's the mom for a reason." Jaina argued, and stepped back.
"Jaya's just sore that mom grounded her for messing with the cleaning droid again. AGAIN." Jacen said smugly.
Mara shook her head in mock despair and turned to Han and Leia, who were both embracing Luke. Leia's eyes were closed and she and her brother were hugging tightly, making Mara feel almost uneasy for wanting to separate them. Leia seemed to sense what Mara was thinking and her dark brown eyes opened, flashing with warning that sent Mara back a hasty step.
Luke sensed Mara's unease and pulled away from Leia. "Mara? What is it?" he asked with concern.
"Honey, did you have to glare at her?" Han asked his wife.
"Quiet, Han. I don't think Luke knows." Leia ordered him absent mindedly, watching her sister-in-law warily.
"It's nothing Luke. I was just thinking of some of the things I'll be doing on Yavin IV…" Mara lied.
Luke laughed. "You'll be fine. Those tests were never really intended for someone of your ability."
"I don't really have ability right now."
"Actually I've been sort of training you for the past year," Luke informed her, and Mara felt cold.
So. Even when I thought he was letting me chose my own path, he sways me to the side of the Jedi.
You needed the training- something inside Mara tried to tell her.
He promised he wouldn't try to change me. She wanted to scream. I believed him!
"I have." It wasn't a question, and Luke's smile faded slightly.
"Mara? Is something wrong?"
"No."
"Alright…" Once we're in hyperspace, will you tell me? Luke asked her silently as he took her hand and pulled her towards her ship.
Mara's mind raced frantically to try to construct something that Luke would believe. Of-of course.
Thank you, Love.
-
"Bye Auntie Mara!" Anakin called as the Skywalkers ran into their ship, hand in hand.
"G'bye Uncle Luke! G'bye Aunt Mara!" Jaina and Jacen yelled, jumping up and down, waving at their aunt and uncle.
Leia watched the ship silently as it raised the ramp, and was preped for take off. The Demon is going to do something to Luke, she thought cautiously, staring intently at the cockpit of the yacht. I'll be damned if I let her ruin his life…
"Honey? Leia? What are you doing?" Han asked, the worry he felt about the intense fanatical light shining in his wife's normally compassionate eyes translating to strain in his voice.
Leia seemed to get a jolt and then the light faded. She smiled gently at her husband and rested her hand on his arm. "It's nothing, don't worry about it."
Han shook his head, but didn't say anything as he and his entire family waved goodbye to the two Jedi as they left the planet, heading for the place they called 'home'.
It would be the last time that they saw Luke and Mara Skywalker.
Now, now, stop hyperventilating, Dears... breath... breath...