Alex slowly woke up brushing the sleep from his eyes. He sat up slowly, careful not to wake Izzie as he looked at the clock. 9:30. He couldn't remember the last time he'd slept in 'til 9:30. He planted a soft kiss on Izzie's forehead, then slipped out the door of her room and down the stairs.
"You want pizza. It's either that or you cook, because Izzie's the only one who can make anything even remotely edible," said Meredith, her head peeking out from behind the fridge.
"Damn Mer, you look like ! What, did McDre-I mean Derek die too?"
"No, I slept with him. At the prom. When my boyfriend and his wife were in the same building."
"Nice one. See, I told you, inappropriate men. But couldn't you have been a little more creative than prom!" Alex smirked. Izzie might be totally broken right now, but he could still joke around with Meredith.
"Life sucks. Men suck!" Meredith said emphatically as she sat down with her cold pizza.
"Hey that's my gender you're talking about!"
"Oh, right, sorry. So, how's Izzie?"
A look of pain flashed across Alex's face. "I don't know. She's pretty torn up right now. I guess she really did love him." "Lucky guy," he added under his breath.
"You love her, don't you? Alex Karev's in love? Wow, that's even weirder than me being in love. That's even weirder than Cristina being in love!"
"I don't love her. I'm over her. She was just good in the sack, that's it."
"Uh huh, right. You gonna stick with that story?" asked Mer, looking quizzically at him.
"So, you're still in love with McDreamy, i mean Derek damn! Or is it McVet that's got your heart and won't let go?"
"Shut up Alex. Don't play whose life sucks the most with me. I'll win. We're focusing on you right now. And Izzie."
"Yeah, I love her," he said with a sigh. "I knew it from the day I met her. I always thought all that love at first glance stuff was BS, but then I met Iz, and everything changed. She's special. I realize I was an , and a cheater, and that she doesn't feel the same way about me, but God, I love her so much. I never meant to hurt her; I just didn't know what else to do. I knew I was falling for her and I wanted it to stop. Who knows why? Now all I want is her back. But of course I can't have that because she's mourning the loss of her dead fiancée. He actually proposed to her! Can you believe that? And she said yes! Seriously!
And I'm trying to be supportive, but it's hard because I love her so much, and all I want to do when I'm around her is grab her, and kiss her and tell her I love her, and that I want to marry her, and I'm not a corpse, but I can't. Because I lost my chance. And now I mean nothing to her. At least when she was mad, I knew she still cared."
"Wow," Mer smiled at him. "You do have a heart after all."
Alex just bowed his head and headed towards the front door. There was nothing more he could do.
"Alex, wait." He paused and turned as Meredith called out his name.
"She needs you. Maybe she can't love you right now, but she needs someone to be there for her. And you have a lot of ground to make up with her. This is a good place to start. So go up there and hold her like you did last night. Let her know that it's okay, that someone in the world still cares about her. Let her know that you still care about her."
"She needs time Alex. But she'll get over Denny. Hopefully she'll get over the whole not being a surgeon thing too, but who knows. But when she's over Denny, and it's the right time, you better tell her what you just told me, about how you feel about her. Because if you don't say it, she'll never know."
"Yeah, okay. Thanks Mer." Alex turned around and walked up the stairs, back to Izzie, knowing he would be there for her for as long as she needed. And if he was lucky, maybe even for the rest of her life.