Sorry it took so long to type, I was loaded with homework. I hope you like it but beware though it might make you cry.

Chapter 1

Untold Memories

Sirius' mind spun uncontrollably and took him to the utmost of his memories, the ones he had hoped to forever forget. But of course one knows that you cannot forget those you have loved and all of those horrible events. The image of the little girl had already hurt him enough and he tried to shoo any other thought away. As he tried harder and harder, his strength slowly drained away and the images of his life flowed like an endless stream in front of his eyes. He could not do anything, only watch. He felt so powerless lying there, unaware of his surroundings, and so cowardly as he tried to escape in vain what had been his life. "Why try to escape if you have already lived this?" said a voice in his head. True, what was the point? "Just cowardice", said Sirius bitterly, barely audible, to the voice. Just as he relinquished his barriers, the images became more distinguishable. Sirius gradually calmed down and let his life overwhelm him. What harm could it do to him since he was dead anyways?

The first memory that flashed in front of his eyes was one of him and his fellow friends Remus and James, when they were still at Hogwarts. They had given each other nicknames that were related to their Animagi. James was a stag and called himself Prongs, and he, Sirius, was a dark dog by name Padfoot. They were not born Animagi but rather had taught themselves so that they could keep Remus company when he transformed each month at the full moon; they called him Moony, the Werewolf. They had also invented a map, the Marauders' Map, which held all of Hogwarts' secrets. While at school, they were known as the most famous pranksters. Another boy stood with them, yet a little apart. This was Wormtail mostly known as Peter Petigrew…

Wormtail had betrayed them all. After all they had done to help him he had betrayed them to the Dark Lord. He was their friend but he became their enemy. Sirius' life had changed in one single night, on a cheery Halloween night. A few years before, James, his greatest friend, had chose him as his best man for his wedding with the gorgeous Lily Evans, a clever Muggle born. But the rising of Voldemort's power endangered the couple's marriage, which had born them a son and a prophecy, and Lily and James were forced to hide, Sirius becoming their Secret Keeper. Afraid that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named would come for him first, Sirius gave the vow to innocent Wormtail. How stupid he had been. Peter was too easily manipulated and would have preferred telling the whole world where Lily, James, and little Harry were than to suffer, whereas Sirius would have died for them. And the cheery Halloween night became a nightmare for him. Lily and James were killed, but while trying to protect her son, Lily cast a very powerful charm. As extraordinary as it might seem, one-year-old Harry defeated Voldemort, at least for the time being.

Unable to control his anger, Sirius had gone after Wormtail. During the fight, Wormtail vanished, killing, at the same time, a few Muggles. But none new that. They only saw Sirius standing in the crowd and in front of him, on the dirty pavement, one of Wormtail's fingers. It was enough to send him to Azkaban however innocent he might have seemed.

The images disappeared. Sirius clearly remembered all of those events and seeing them again brought the anger back. He fought to open his eyes but something deep inside him would not let him. Slowly and in a blur, as if shy, one memory came back to his mind, the one he hated the most.

He was sitting in a recliner, near the fire, reading the Daily Prophet. Everything around was quiet, only the crackling of the flames licking the logs pierced the silence. The light reflected on the blood red wallpaper and illuminated portraits of grim looking wizards. The room in which he sat was filthy and badly kept. The wallpaper was falling off; the recliner was torn off in places; many mice holes decorated the walls and emanated from the floor a smell of mold. A young woman came down the stairs carrying a suitcase in her right arm and a wand in the other. She aimed it at Sirius but quickly changed her mind. Before disaparating, she uttered one last word "Felicy."

Hearing the name once more pierced his heart and he yelled with all his might, but the invisible power still clung to him and another memory, evermore painful, came to his eyes.

Sirius was standing in the doorway of his bedroom on a cold February morning. He stood there, unable to move. On the twin bed lay a bundle and next to it a note. As he approached, the bundle moved, and the dark haired wizard was transfixed. Sobs, inaudible at first, came from the cloth and Sirius did not doubt any more that it contained a baby. But what was it doing there? He picked up the note, unfolded it, and read out loud the single word, "Felicy."

The thought was haunting him; he could not bare it anymore. As he tried to take control of himself again, the memories flashed faster and faster yet all of them featured the brown eyed, honey-colored hair girl. Happy moments overwhelmed him but he knew they would not last. He fought against the voice that had begun to laugh again. "But what is the use?" said the sarcastic voice. Sirius' strength drained from and he let the uncontrollable power take his mind once again. "This would be the last memory", Sirius thought bitterly to himself. "Of course," the voice replied. And for what seemed to be the hundredth time, the little girl flashed in front of his eyes. She had grown, yet he had not seen her grown as he had been in Azkaban during all of those years. The girl was eleven now and on her way to Hogwarts. How happy and proud she had looked when she had come running to his cell with the letter. But it had all been for nothing.

When he had been sent in Azkaban, the girl had not yet turned one. He insisted that she go to a wizard family and see him at least once per year. His wishes were granted but Sirius was as sad as ever. It broke his heart to think that the girl grew up with another father. Who was he anyways for her? He was just some other culprit and in no points her real father. Or at least that was what Sirius thought, because the girl loved him and she missed him as much as he missed her.

"Where is she now?" The memory came back to him and a flash of green light invaded his vision. Sirius yelled and this time the power vanished. He was kneeling on the floor, holding his head, and painful tears drowned him. He had betrayed them all. First Lily and James. Then Harry. But the one he had betrayed the most was his own daughter. He had been unable to protect her and had let her die. This sweet little girl had not lived twelve years because of him. "Stupid bastard!!" he yelled to the dark. "Why am I so goddam coward? Why do I always bring trouble and grief around me? Why was I even born?!" He yelled in distress but there was no one to help him. Felicy was gone. No Death-Eater had really murdered her; it was him who had killed her everyday of her short and miserable life.

So what do you think?

Don't forget to review. I terribly enjoy writing this story and I hope to have typed chapter 2 soon!