"Wake up…Erik…" Christine was fiddling with me in a delicious way.
"I'm awake…I'm just pretending to be asleep so you'll keep doing that."
"Come over here and do your duty before the Bear wakes up."
I was just throwing a leg over when we were alarmed by an ominous rattling, followed by a genuinely blood-curdling scream. It was actually painful to me; I ducked and covered my ears. Christine shot from the bed as she slipped her chemise on. She scooped up the wailing killjoy and attempted to settle him in the bed with her. No good; he was red-faced, flailing, kicking; utterly out of control.
As she tried to settle him, I located my trousers. When I tried to get back into bed, Masson want insane. He was screaming and crying so hard that I didn't see how it was possible for him to breathe, and his kicking was most definitely aimed at me.
"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!"
He tried to escape Christine's grasp to lunge at me. I had the distinct impression that he intended to put his fat little paws around my neck and strangle me.
"Erik, I can't hold him! Masson, stop!"
"Give him to me then, give him over." I hauled him out of Christine's arms; easier said than done.
"MAMAAA! MAMAAA!" He landed a lucky pop to my nose. Even with the mask it was unpleasant.
"Stop, Masson."
"GO!"
I did not have a cold bucket of water to dunk him into, so I popped three brisk swats onto his wet-nappy bottom and released him on the floor.
"Don't go after him right away, Christine; just let him compose himself a bit."
I sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand. She was a mess. I was too, in a different sort of way. Neither of us had ever seen a performance like that before. He scrambled under his crib and sat blaspheming me and Christine as well, I think. There was a timid knock on the door.
"Christine? Is everything alright, dear?" It was Reza. Of course, it sounded as though the child was being tortured and murdered.
I saw no point in discretion. I looked to Christine for agreement and opened the door. Reza and Darius stood in their dressing gowns, each turning several colors.
"I believe my presence should serve to explain the drama, gentlemen. Masson woke up and saw that Mama was not alone, and went hysterical. He has just had what I believe was his first spanking."
While I was occupied at the door, Masson availed himself of the opportunity to scramble onto the bed and importune Mama for my removal. He pulled at Christine's chemise and fished his little hand inside. He had a most unnerving habit: if he couldn't actually suck, he had at least to have his paw on Christine's breast whenever he was upset. Not that I don't understand; I might've been as mild as a lamb if I had access to a tasty pink nipple whenever life disappointed me. It seemed to me, however, that it was about time he gave the things up. Christine had been his beverage service for so long that she no longer had any sense of how bizarre it was to have a baby giant fishing inside her dress whenever the fancy struck him.
"If everything is alright, then…"
"Yes, just fine. Thank you, gentlemen." I turned back toward the bed; Masson glared at me before turning back to his snack.
"Masson, Papa is going to sit back on the bed with you and Mama now," I said evenly. There was so much pain in Christine's eyes. I wanted to embrace her, but that was out of the question at the moment.
"NO! GO!"
"Masson, no. Papa's allowed to come here," Christine soothed.
He grumbled something like, "To the devil with him, Mam." I swear.
"Let me get you some coffee, hm?"
"Thank you," she smiled, but her eyes were worried. I was worried too. If she got it in her head that she had to make a choice, I knew which golden-eyed devil would win.
Descending to the kitchen, I realized that the fat little piss-pot had ruined what should have been one of the best mornings of my life; I was in a crap mood. We needed an understanding between us, quick. I had only just gotten rid of another baby that fancied he had rights to my woman.
Reza began apologizing for the intrusion as soon as I appeared.
"Nonsense; you had no way of knowing."
"Is Masson alright?"
"No, he's not alright; he's bloody awful. He's a tyrant." I slammed two cups on the counter and Darius cringed. He's a bit of a nelly about his kitchen.
"He's an infant, Erik."
"I know," I ran a hand through my hair in exasperation. "It's going hard with him, and Christine isn't up to it. It's all over her face; she's a quick minute away from telling me to get out."
"I'm sure it's not as bad as all that."
"The hell it isn't. I love the little git, Reza, but…you hear that? He's wailing up there again."
"Now, don't get all lathered up. For all you know, you'll take Christine her coffee, and you and he will be fast friends again."
"I wish you could see him fish down her blouse and glare daggers at me."
"As if you wouldn't do the same thing if you could."
"That's another story, she's my woman."
"I see. She's his mother."
"Shit."
When I appeared with the coffee, Christine was overcome.
"He's been crying for you since you left!"
"PAA-PAAA!" Masson took a bruising grip on my neck and told me all about how dreadful he felt. To say he needed a new nappy was a gross understatement. Christine was weeping into her hand.
"Christine?"
"Erik, I don't know if—"
"No no no. Don't. He's a child, Christine. As I see it, most all children have to learn they're not the only person Mother loves sooner or later; it won't kill him."
"But I don't know if I can take it. I think you should go back to your room."
"What?"
Masson shrieked anew at my outburst.
"Erik, stop, please—"
"Go back to my room? What, you're finished with me now?"
Masson yowled again, forcing me to raise my voice to be heard over him, which made him yell louder still.
"If you must know; yes. I am…actually." Christine replied nervously.
"WHAT?"
"I don't feel I really…want a man around all the time. I…I've gotten to like being on my own." She was picking invisible lint off the sheet so she wouldn't have to look at me.
"What the hell—"
"Language!" she hissed.
"What was that last night if you don't want a man around?"
"Mama!" I was hollering too much; Masson went back to his breasts.
"I said all the time, Erik. Anyway, you know perfectly well what that was last night."
Suddenly I was an inarticulate moron. All I could manage was "WHAT?"
"What do you mean, what?" She began changing Masson's nappy. "Our separation worked no hardship on you!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Anci, what else? Surely you haven't forgotten her so soon!"
"Christ, leave off! What's that got to do—"
"Everything, that's what! Or do you suppose you're the only one who has needs?" she replied primly.
"Wait." I sank into the rocker, unprepared to believe what I thought I was hearing. "Wait. Christine, are you really saying…that I should go?"
"No. I'm saying that I…I want to…have separate rooms."
"Separate rooms? Because of him?" I demanded. He was clean and dry, so he set up howling again, just to add to the cozy familial atmosphere.
"Not because of him. Because of me."
"And you'll just slip a note under my door when you need a little friction, is that it?"
"Leave it to you to reduce it to that," she huffed.
"I'm not reducing it to anything. You're the one dismissing me! I was making love last night, Christine; what were you doing?"
"Erik, you know I love you—or you should do. I just need to keep a bit of myself for myself. I don't know how to make you understand," she sighed.
"Well, I don't understand. I don't keep any bit of myself from you—"
"Then how did you just up and leave me with your baby?" she shrieked. "How long did it take you to find comfort somewhere else? Why did you have to be dragged back to us?" She was red-faced and wild-eyed; she looked like a demon.
Frightened, Masson crawled slightly away from her before he collapsed on the bed, moaning. I rushed over and collected him. He patted my bare chest weakly, searching for some comfort where there was none to be had.
"Christine, for god's sake, stop. Look at him, won't you?" I pleaded. "I'll go if you want; just stop."
She was still trembling with anger when she took him from me.
"Mama, Mama," the baby whispered. She kissed his forehead.
"I don't want you to leave, Erik," she insisted.
"No; you want me to stay nearby. I got that," I replied bitterly. "Well, you know where I'll be if you need anything."