Chapter 10

Wilson watched her progress towards the group with a knot in his throat. He had not seen Addison Montgomery for five years. At that time, both were married to other people. Although that had not stopped him the first time, he knew that her marriage certificate would stop her. They had been cordial that time. No one would have realized the love they had shared by seeing them then. But everyone had noticed it over a decade ago when they worked together. Those memories took his breath away again.

They had become close friends. Neither had been as ready as they thought once they started their residency, so they had clung together for support. Addison had no close family and certainly no significant other. He felt like she understood him so much better than his wife. They were going through the same thing and had gotten to know each other. Wilson stopped trying to chase her after that first day in the cafeteria. She was his confidant and closest friend. Addison viewed him as hers as well.

It had taken a year for their feelings to boil over.

Their professional paths crossed when they had the same patient. It was a small child with cancer. Addison was still young and not ready to see a boy die this horrible death. Wilson entered the boy's hospital room late one night to check his stats. Addison was sitting next to the boy, holding his hand while he slept. He came to her and lifted her chin so that he could see her. Her makeup was splotchy from weeping. "Add, why don't I take you home?" he asked, squeezing her shoulder.

She nodded her consent, but took several moments to stir. Addison had refused to admit they had feelings for each other, but she needed him to tell her everything was going to be all right. His hand gave her comfort. Wilson grabbed her jacket and they headed for his car. They talked all the way back to her apartment.

He walked her to her apartment door. "Thanks, Jimmy," she said, wiping her still tearful eyes. Ashamed of being so emotional, she added, "Maybe, I'm not supposed to be a doctor."

Wilson's heart broke as a tear slid down her cheek. He dropped her jacket on the hallway floor, reaching for both of her hands. His brown, expressive eyes squinted at hers. "Oh, Addison, no," he whispered. "You are a good doctor. You can handle this. We'll do it together."

Those were the words she had secretly wanted to hear for months. She knew it was not right. She did not want to feel the way she did, but Addison loved James Wilson. He glanced down at her parted lips as he listened to her shallow breathing. He held on for as long as he could until the impulse overtook him and he kissed her. The kiss was light and tender, like two old souls finally meeting. Addison wrapped her arms around his waist. They fit so perfectly together. Still crying, she opened the door and let them in.

Thus began their relationship for the next six months. Addison and Wilson spent as much time away from the hospital and his wife as they could. They hated themselves for what they had become, but, they reasoned, they were in love.

Addison began pushing Wilson to get a divorce. "We can't keep doing this, Jimmy," she threatened. "I won't do this to your wife or myself much longer."

Wilson propped his head on his arms. Sighing, he replied, "I know, Add. And I love you, but she won't give me a divorce." It was true. Wilson had told his wife that he had an affair, that he still was having an affair. His wife refused to leave him. Whether it was because she loved him, or out of spite and hurt, or some other reason he never found out.

One day, Addison went into his office just before he left for home. He could tell something was wrong. Her vibrant face was pale and ghost-like. She sat down across from him, nervously wiping her mouth with her hand. Her voice was shaky and hoarse when she asked, "Do you love me?"

Wilson pushed his hair back with his hands as he looked down. He said quietly, "You know I do."

Her green eyes glowed with a ray of hope. "Then leave with me," she said firmly.

He shifted his head in aggravation and raised his voice to her for the first time, saying, "Addison, you know that I cannot."

The light in her eyes dimmed as her face contorted with a steely resolve. "Then I've met someone else. His name is Derrick Shepherd. He's a good man and he has asked me out. I'm going to say yes."

His jaw dropped as he leaped from his seat. "Don't do that, Addison. Please," he pleaded.

The much older Wilson smiled bittersweet at her now, remembering the most painful words he had ever heard. As she had left his office that day, she had looked back at him and said, "I think he may be my soul mate." When he got home, he told his wife that the affair had ended. The next day, she handed him divorce papers. He desperately wanted to go back to Addison, to tell her he was free. But he wasn't free. Those words had ringed in his ears every day since Addison uttered them.

Wilson transferred to New Jersey. He met Gregory House two years later. He married two more times after that once he had heard that she married Shepherd, but his heart was never in it. Once he had an affair with her, once he had realized what he was foolish enough to have lost, he never tried very hard in another relationship.

She finally walked over to him. Holding her breath, she said, "Hello, Jimmy."

He still had a hard time looking her in the eyes. "It's great to see you, Addison."

………………………………

Wilson was too distracted by Addison Shepherd to notice when House and Cameron returned.

After Cameron shut the door on a disturbed House, she let out a breath of air. Forcing him into their first date had failed, but she hoped that this tactic would not. They were so close to actually getting somewhere, and she knew she had to keep him on that same path. Cameron knew House well enough to realize that if she really confused him by her actions, he would not give up until he solved the puzzle. She didn't know how long she could keep it up before she actually did just jump him, but she was sure going to try.

"So how was your date?" Izzie asked. Cameron jumped. The room was dark, showing no signs of inhabitance. She had assumed Izzie was still at the gathering downstairs. In truth, the Seattle doctor was exhausted. Izzie used to love to be with immersed with people, to hear their stories, and see their smiles. Even though she was excited to go to the Pier tomorrow, tonight had grown to be too much. There was a hole in her stomach and a void in her heart. When she closed her eyes, she still dreamed of Denny. The pressure squeezing her was sometimes unbearable. Izzie missed him terribly and thought that she would never heal from the loss of him.

Cameron collapsed onto the other bed after she had changed into pajamas. "Well, it went a lot better than the first," she told Izzie.

Izzie's nose twitched in the blackness. "You went out with him before?" she asked.

She put her hand on her forehead as if to push away an imminent headache. "Yes, about eighteen months ago," Cameron replied.

The other doctor scoffed. "I've known men to wait a week to call you back, but a year and a half…"

Cameron let tension drip away from her body as her back rested on the mattress. Staring at the ceiling, she said, "Everything is complicated at PPTH."

Silence filled the room for several moments. Finally, Izzie said with a sigh, "Everything is complicated everywhere."

Cameron bit her lip. She wasn't sure how to bring up the issue, but she was too curious. Maybe she had been around House too long. "One of the others let it slip that you're on probation at the hospital. What happened?"

Izzie rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands. She did not want to cry again. "I cut a patient's L-Vat wire."

House's 'teddy bear stuffed by Grandma' felt the need to reassure her. "Things happen," Cameron said. "We can't always prevent a patient's death."

Izzie shook her head. She was glad that Cameron couldn't see her in the dark room. "No," she answered, "I intentionally cut the wire. My fiancé needed a heart transplant."

"Oh," Cameron replied quietly. She knew she was judgmental and her tone didn't hide it.

"He died anyway."

The reply was so simple and painful that Cameron's prejudice disappeared. Tears clouded her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Izzie flipped over to her side, tucking her hands under her head. "You know," she said sniffling, "I had a baby when I was young. I gave her away. I never thought I would go through something that terrible again. Until now." She had surprised herself. Izzie rarely told even close people this information. None of the other interns knew that she had a little girl. But there was something about Cameron that brought out the truth in people. It felt cathartic to let it all out.

Cameron's need to comfort the woman returned. "I got married young. He died six months later. I knew he was going to die before I married him, but it still hurt like hell."

"I know it was wrong to cut the wire, but I had to do it," Izzie said. She was surprised that she had so much in common with Cameron.

Cameron was just as surprised. "I loved my husband, but I would never have been brave enough to do what you did," she said with certainty. But she also added with even more certainty, "House would have."

They let those final words float in the room as they both shut their eyes and fell asleep.

TBC