Christine slept well for several hours. The moment she stirred, I sat bolt upright, wide awake.
"Help me up," she ordered sleepily. I helped her to the bathroom and she sent me off to get her a drink. The house was dark and quiet; it was past midnight. I realized with rapidly mounting irritation that we'd heard nothing from Anci, so I took it upon myself to pound on Darius' door. Lucky for him I didn't crash in and drag him from his hot little marriage bed.
When I finally managed to rouse him, he glared at me; I ignored this, confident I would win the Ill-humored Husband contest.
"Your wife went after the midwife hours ago; where is she?"
"She's asleep; she has an infant to see to, you know," he grumbled.
"Look, you, wake her now and find out where the goddam midwife is."
Finally, Anci wandered to the door, bleary-eyed. "She wasn't there. She was having a baby somewhere else, so I came home."
"So you came home? Get out and find me a midwife, or I'll come in there and eat your baby," I hissed.
She squeaked and ran off, horrified; exactly as I'd intended. Darius reappeared and advised he'd go in search of a midwife. I managed to grumble a 'thank you' before dashing back to Christine.
I helped her to get as comfortable as possible and realized I'd forgotten her drink.
"It's alright, I'd rather have you than a drink," she smiled.
"How do you feel? Do you feel badly?"
"Nooo. I feel like I'm going to have a baby," she smiled, then giggled. "I'm alright. It's better than last time, so far."
She encouraged me to keep busy rubbing her back. "Oooh, you have such nice hands," she sighed. I tried to pray, but I couldn't remember anything, except "Rub-a-dub-dub, Thanks for the grub, Go God Go, Amen." I taught it to Masson, but it sent Christine so far up the flagpole we both had to swear never to repeat it again. Right, it was all I could remember; so I mumbled it over and over like the old Muslim men worrying their beads.
Finally Darius knocked.
"What?"
"There's no midwives. I—I don't know where all the midwives are. I can't find any."
I was less than a second from choking him right there in the doorway.
"Erik…" Christine called tightly.
"Go get a doctor, then," I spat.
"A doctor? Just for bringing a--a baby?" Darius was nonplussed.
"Erik!" Christine again; more urgently.
"Goddammit! Tell him it's the Comtesse de Chagny!"
Darius' eyes went wide, as if he'd never thought of telling a lie before.
I grabbed him and shook him hard. "Well, she is! GO GET THE FUCKIN' DOCTOR, MAN!"
"ERIK!"
I scrambled in and clutched her hand. She actually had droplets of sweat on her upper lip. I'd never seen sweat on her before...I couldn't decide how I felt about it.
"Angel…don't worry, the midwife's coming."
"Liar!" she gasped.
"I sent Darius after the doctor. Stupid Persian fucking git can't find a goddam midwife!"
"Oh," she laughed weakly, "no, don't make me laugh. You swear like a professional!"
I laughed, or cried…something. "Christine, I'm scared."
"There's no time, Erik. I need you to…Erik…" She turned into someone else then, not Christine; Woman. Every woman, doing what women have always done.
"Oh, Jesus, shit. Shit. Shit. Let's wait for the doctor, Christine," I pleaded. She didn't look like she was considering it, so I tore downstairs to wake the household. In my state it seemed a reasonable idea.
"REZA!" I thumped his door twice, but couldn't wait. I threw the door open and pounced on him. "Get up, man, I need…I don't know. Get up!"
"I'll…um…"
I was back with Christine before he wobbled to his feet.
"What can I do for you, Angel?"
"Hold my hand…no. Help me get up. I want to get up," she panted.
"I don't think so, Christine, I don't think so…"
"HELP ME UP!" She screamed like a demon.
Silke appeared with towels and water and a gigantic pair of kitchen shears.
"What the hell are they for?" I demanded, my eyes all but jumping out of my head.
"Don't worry," Silke whispered.
Christine did everything; I was useless except for the physical strength I provided to help her move around. She rocked back and forth on her hands and knees when she could; when she couldn't, she panted and sweated a lot. So tiny; there was nothing to her but skin and bones and a huge baby belly. Standing there, I really hated what I'd done to her. Why do women do this?
Something changed. Christine waved an irritated, summoning hand at me. "My back…have to push." She made the most terrifying sounds…exquisitely beautiful primal songs.
"It won't be long now, Sir," Silke encouraged. She startled me; I hadn't realized she had stayed. I stared at her, trying to remember what she was doing there, what I was doing there. My mind had completely emptied.
"You'd better, um, have a look," she suggested, blushing.
"Look at what?" I demanded, horrified.
"Um…"
"Erik, Erik, I need to push! ERIK!" Christine had reached back and gripped the headboard. Her entire body said, I'm doing this now whether you help or not. Suddenly everything slowed down and every detail leapt out at me.
I looked at Christine, and there was already something to see; something I now know was the baby's head. At the time I had no idea what it was, or why it kept appearing and disappearing. Soon enough, it wasn't disappearing anymore.
"Christine, I don't think it can be too long now," I called to her. I hoped that was good news.
Christine howled and the baby's head popped out.
"Oh. God."
Christine seemed momentarily relieved, though she still had to squeeze the rest of it out. She barely had a chance to catch her breath when she howled again and the rest of the baby came shooting out. Strictly on instinct, I caught it. It was red, and it looked like it was covered in wax; not the most human specimen I've ever seen. But its face was perfect and it looked like it had all its parts, scrunched up and red though they were.
Somewhere in the middle of all that, the doctor had appeared, superfluous bastard that he was, and he bustled up and proceeded to take charge.
"Erik," Christine called, reaching out for the baby. I put it on her belly. One of Christine's hands went to the baby's head, one extended toward me. "Boy or girl? Boy or girl, Erik?"
I didn't know; I hadn't looked. I wanted to see it had a face, arms and legs! I brushed Christine's soaked curls back and kissed her face repeatedly. My tears mingled with her sweat as she fussed with the baby.
"Girl! It's a girl, Erik; my little angel!" Christine purred happily, all suffering forgotten, apparently. I couldn't speak; I was in awe of this little woman who'd never looked so beautiful.