Chapter 3 Self Preservation

Disclaimer: They aren't mine but I don't have to ask to borrow them and have no time limit on how long I can keep them so, I'm good.

Rating: A mere T for some adult subject matter.

Russ opened his eyes and rubbed his face as he thought through the events of the previous night. Even though Temperance had told him about seeing the face of their mother it was completely different to see it for himself. He thought he was over it; he had mandatory counseling when he was in prison and he had grieved, moved on with his life. He was surprised at how quickly the emotions had overwhelmed him. He stretched in the bed, hearing his sister moving about he briefly wondered how long she had been up and a small smile came to him. She had never been a sleeper, even as a child his mother had always said she recharged in just a few hours, he could count the handful of times he had actually witnessed her sleeping. He was secretly glad she had been born with the brilliant brain in the family and was sure that he would not have handled it as well as she did. Despite the alienation and the restless stirrings that came with her staggering intelligence she had found a way to be herself, to appreciate things that he would never understand and to use her gift to actually do some good in the world. He was impressed with the woman she had become although she still needed help with pop culture and social skills, he started laughing to himself at the memories that thought prompted. He decided to get up and let her know he was awake so she would quit trying to be quiet, trying being the operative word.

Temperance smiled when he came into the kitchen, in his sweats and t-shirt with the hair a mess he was the brother she remembered.

"Good morning Russ, I was going to have a gourmet breakfast of cereal, an English muffin, coffee and orange juice, are you in?" She was smiling brightly, looking like she had never had a tired moment in her life.

"Good morning, definitely count me in on breakfast." He started to laugh suddenly, "We're wearing the same thing and you always ate cereal it's just these weird flashes of deja vu from our childhood, you know?"

Temperance looked down at her t-shirt and sweats and started to chuckle softly, she had been feeling the flashbacks triggered both by her mother and having Russ here. "I do know, I've been feeling the same thing. Having you here is nice but it does make me think of our childhood which was happy but painful to think about now, it's confusing."

"Hey, I'm sure it'll fade, my therapist always said it would, once you process the grief you're allowed to remember your loved one as happy without feeling guilty. At least that's what they say." She shot him a surprised look as she took items from the fridge, ignoring the flash of Booth that hit her as she reached for the door handle. "Yes, I had therapy when I did time and to tell you the truth it really helped."

"Well it's nice to know our tax dollars in the prison system are doing something positive." Her smile told him she was kidding and he relaxed, he mentally chided himself, this was his sister, he needed to just relax.

"Are we going back to the Jeffersonian today?"

She placed several boxes of cereal in front of him and sat down, "I don't think so, I finished a lot of the work I wanted to do last night and I think we need to strategize about how we're going to handle Sunday. You can stay through Monday, can't you?"

"I'll call work and home and make arrangements. Now what were you trying to tell me last night about mom's wording? I didn't exactly comprehend at the time." He poured some Fruit Loops into the bowl. "I love Fruit Loops, I can't believe you still eat these."

"Some things you never outgrow, I still sneak the occasional Pop Tart too."

"Oh my god, so do I, what is it about those things? I swear they're addictive."

"You were always a sugar junkie." She paused to chew for a moment, thinking about the previous night. "Last night when mom spoke to us it sounded like her voice but that head wasn't speaking the way she did. I didn't notice the first time because I was too stunned by the talking face but last night I noticed. Her phrasing was all wrong, she would have referred to our dad as dad not father and she never would have made the reference to sinning. Even that part about paying too high a price, it didn't really sound like mom, that's not how she spoke."

"So what do you think it is?"

"I don't know how it's being done but it has to be a message from someone warning us not to look for dad. It has to be someone that knew us, it may even be him."

They sat in silence for a moment, letting the idea of it sink in and take hold.

"Tempe if it is dad, we can find out, there are question we can ask that dad would know and no one else and there are others we could ask that only mom would have known. If it is him or someone that knows where he is, what do we do?"

"I don't know what they want, other than getting us to stop looking. If we swear we're going to stop, they're just going to go away? That doesn't seem feasible. On the other hand if they wanted to kill us they could have done it by now. They're obviously watching us because they knew that you were with me last night, your guest pass at the Jeffersonian doesn't list your name so they had to physically see us together."

"That kind of creeps me out, to know we were being watched. Doesn't that bother you?"

"It does now that I'm thinking about it. It's the only thing that makes sense, unless the building is bugged, but that would be harder to believe than someone watching us."

They both sat and ate for a few moments, working through the ideas. She stopped when Russ put his hand over hers.

"I don't know what's going on with you two but we really should think about involving Booth at this point, or someone in law enforcement that you can trust if you know anyone else. I know it's not like me to want the cops around but I'm getting to be a little worried for your safety."

"Now you sound like him. I don't know about involving him, his contacts would be good but I'm pretty mad at him." She glanced at her brother, who sat just waiting. She knew he didn't want to pry but his expectant expression told her he was hoping she would confide in him. "He slept with Cam."

"Cam, as in Dr. Saroyan, your boss?" His expression was one of obvious shock.

"Yes, that Cam, apparently they had a fling years ago and they have been sleeping together for I don't know how long. My team knew and none of them felt they could tell me." She sighed heavily and set down her spoon, "It's not just that, since Cam's arrival the team has been divided between doing things her way, which is often questionable at best and my way which they have basically been forbidden to do. I decided it was best to withdraw from the situation and just do my job but Cam doesn't seem satisfied with that, she seems driven to break me in some way. The whole situation has become too difficult and I just took myself out of the equation. It's not like Booth and I are seeing each other, and we have both been in other relationships while we've been partners but Cam just felt like a slap in the face." He could see the tears gathering along her lower lashes, a blink away from spilling down her cheeks.

"Did he do it to hurt you?"

"No, I don't think so, but that didn't make it hurt any less. I just think he didn't think about it until it was too late and she will take every opportunity to needle me with it now that she's aware that I know."

"Is he still seeing her?"

"I don't know, I haven't spoken to him about it. It was Cam that brought it up, but I had already found out so I wasn't shocked. It's just this power struggle she insists on trying to engage me in and I don't want to be involved."

"You might now want to be involved in the office politics but you do want to be involved with Booth or this wouldn't be so painful for you. You two have feelings for each other whether you ever decide to act on them or not is up to you. I think you need to talk to Booth about all of it though and clear the air. You didn't want to lose him as a friend and as a partner and I can't believe you would let Cam take that from you too. You have a say so in all this, you can call him. As for the rest of the team, they didn't want to tell you because they didn't want to see you hurt. Cam is just like the new kid at school, they're all playing out their little roles of hierarchy that you're so fond of discussing. Come on Tempe, this is basic social anthropology, she's the new queen bee, all the workers are trying to fall in line, look at it objectively. I can't believe any of them wanted to hurt you."

He could see her thinking and knew behind those bright eyes, her brain was moving at an alarming rate, processing, rationalizing, sorting. "I guess a conversation with Booth is inevitable and his input on all this would be helpful, not to mention his connections if we need information." The truth of it was that she would feel better if Booth knew what was happening, this situation felt like it was getting bigger than the two of them could handle on their own. Tempe couldn't think of anything happening to Russ. "Okay, I'll call him and see if he can meet us today but you'll have to entertain Parker while I talk to him because I know this is his day with him. So, while we're talking about our relationships, how's yours going?"

"Ella and I are good, you know I like having her two girls around, I didn't think I would at first but most of the time they're really fun. They like to play hard, catch, football, outdoor stuff, I like that. Most days we're happy but we do have a pretty good fight every now and then."

"Do you love her?"

He was surprised she asked, forgetting just how blunt she could be, "I think I do, most days I'm just afraid to admit it." Temperance just smiled a knowing smile at him and finished her breakfast.

After drinking the last of her coffee she went to the phone, taking a deep breath she hit the speed dial and waited.

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Seeley Booth officially hated IHOP. He was sure that it was irresponsible to have full containers of syrup on tables where they knew children would be sitting. He sat dipping a napkin into a water glass trying in vain to remove the sticky substance from both Parker and himself. It was futile, there were small sticky spots everywhere Parker had touched him after pouring the substance over his plate and onto the table and the seat. It wasn't Parkers fault; the easy pour containers should have some kind of safety latch, like his gun, to keep accidents from happening. All Seeley could smell was the sweet maple scent, he sipped his coffee hoping to get a reprieve for his senses. His phone was ringing and as he went to open it his palm peeled away slowly and he knew there was syrup there too.

"Booth." He said it more harshly than he had intended, too distracted by his situation to have glanced at the caller id.

"Hi Booth." It was all she could manage to say, not sure of where to begin with everything she needed to say. It was silent on the line for a moment. "Are you there?"

"Yes, I'm just surprised to hear from you."

"Well to be honest I'm not completely comfortable with calling but I do need to talk to you and it's important. The problem is I have a lot to say so I'd like to meet you. I know you have Parker today so the playground in the mall or that mouse and cheese place would be fine."

"How about the park?" He smiled as she spoke, and decided against telling her it was Chuck E. Cheese.

"It's a long story but I'd rather meet you somewhere inside a building, if that's okay with you." She knew it was bothering him, not knowing what she was talking about but he'd have to handle it for now.

"I thought you were working today Bones?" He sounded suspicious and she wondered why he was asking.

"I was but I decided against it, this is more important at the moment and I am still working a case."

"Bones, what's going on?" He was starting to sound worried.

"Just name the place Booth so we can meet and get thing straightened out between us." Even as she said it she wondered what they could say that would fix things between them, she just want to pound on him until she felt better and right now, that could take some time.

"Okay, we've already had breakfast so Parker is going to have some energy to get rid of, let's meet at Chuck E. Cheese in half an hour, the one you met us at for his birthday." She could hear Parker, squealing in the back ground, having heard their plans. Russ called from the hallway, looking for towels and within the IHOP noise Seeley heard her cover the phone and speak to someone.

"See you in half an hour Booth."

"Yeah." He snapped his phone shut, and felt the anger surge up within him. Whoever she was seeing yesterday was still there, had spent the night with her. His fingers curled into fists. Why was he so angry? She had slept with other men; he had even met a couple of them. Why did the thought of someone touching her all of a sudden evoke such a strong reaction in him?

"Daddy, are we going to Chuck E. Cheese? Are we? Are we going now?" Booth turned his attention to his son, pushing her to the back of his mind.

"Yeah buddy we are, let's pay the bill and hit the road." Taking Parker's hand in his he felt the remaining sticky film. "You know what, after we pay the bill we're going to make a detour into the bathroom to get some of that syrup off first."

"Then we're going to hit the road?"

"Yes, then we'll head straight over to see the big mouse."

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Once in the car Seeley tried to evaluate his situation with Bones. He wondered if she had slept with someone last night to even the score with him and then immediately dismissed the thought, that wasn't her style. If he mentioned it to her she would be asking him, what score? He had no idea what he was going to say to her, how he could make her understand that on one hand he had these feelings for her and on the other he thought it was okay to have sex with her boss. If he couldn't make it sound right in his own head then how could he possibly make it sound right to her? He was a little concerned about her phone call, it had to mean something had happened with this whole computer thing Angela had told him about yesterday. Angela, shit he had to call her, she was supposed to meet Bones at the Jeffersonian to talk to her and Bones said she wasn't going into work. He quickly dialed her number and filled her in on the changes in the morning plan, promising to let her know what he found out about the situation. As he pulled into the parking lot at Chuck E. Cheese he realized he was nervous, maybe it was Angela's parting comment for him not to blow this or maybe it was his own fear of having ruined his relationship with her. Either way, he knew this conversation needed to go well.

He looked at Parker in the rear view mirror; he had fallen asleep almost as soon as they got into the car. Rebecca said he had been up early knowing this was the day he was going to see his dad. Booth knew he couldn't let him sleep for long or his whole schedule would be off for the day. He turned around and gently woke his son, smiling as he shook off sleep in favor of going to play.

Seeley sat in a booth with one eye on Parker and the other on the door. There weren't very many people in the restaurant, which was rare and he was grateful not to be assaulted by the usual noise. He was shredding small pieces off his napkin when they walked through the door. He couldn't believe she had brought someone with her. Was she bringing her date to introduce them? His stomach turned with instant nausea and he wondered if he could get Parker and find another way out when she spotted him. They were only a few feet from the table when Seeley allowed himself to look at the man and he realized it was Russ. His relief was so overwhelming that he laughed and enthusiastically shook Russ' hand. They were both staring at him strangely.

"Sit, relax, do you want to order something?" Seeley suddenly didn't know what to say but was saved by Parker rushing to the table to greet them.

"We just ate but I'd love some coffee." Temperance began to chuckle then, having recalled what she had said to Booth the previous night she knew why he was so happy to see Russ. She slid into the booth across from him.

"I think you two might need a few minutes, so Parker and I are going to play skeet ball." He turned to face Temperance, "let me know when you need me." He reached out and gave her hand a quick squeeze before running off with Parker. The gesture caught Booth's attention and made him smile. He was so used to thinking of her as all alone in the world that he sometimes forgot she had Russ.

When she turned her gaze to him he shrank back under the intensity of her stare. "Temperance I'd like a chance to explain."

"Booth that's not really why I'm here, you don't owe me an explanation. You're free to do whatever you want with your life, it's really none of my business." Her voice was cool and that veil of detachment had dropped over her eyes.

"You may not think I owe it to you, but I do, so just give me a moment." He was suddenly nervous, trying to pull his thoughts together, to remember what he was going to say to her. Temperance watched him struggle, part of her wishing she could just go back to the way things were before and forget all this, but the hurt part of her wouldn't allow it.

"Fine, take your moment."

"Remember when Michael came to town? You were in a bad place in your life and he showed up and you were just glad to see someone familiar. You got involved with him without thinking about the big picture at the time because he was someone you thought you knew. There was no reason to think he had changed since you saw him last and even if he had it shouldn't have mattered. The thing was it did matter and you paid dearly for it." He paused, taking a deep breath and a drink of his water. "When Cam showed up I had just come out of that thing with Rebecca and I was feeling disjointed and we had had two rough cases in a row. She was familiar like Michael was to you. I didn't think about the big picture or how it would affect everyone else, especially you. I didn't know she had changed into someone so self serving, so controlling and manipulative. I wanted to believe she was still the good person I knew and by the time I found out differently it was too late. I know I'll pay for it for a long time." He was swirling the ice in his glass, fussing with his drink like he always did when uncomfortable. "Later I thought about what it would be like to be you, I imagined it being you and Cullen and my team keeping it from me and I have to tell you, it made me nauseous. It made me realize how it must have felt and I am so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, I never wanted to be someone that caused you any pain." Her eyes were shining and she knew if she blinked she would cry. Damn him. When he continued it caught her off guard. "I have a proposition for you."

She busied herself taking a drink as he had done. She was surprised that he said something she could so clearly understand. There were flaws to the parallels he drew but she knew what he meant and she also knew he was right. It didn't make her feel better. "What kind of proposition ?" Her curiosity was greater than her diminishing hostility.

"Until we have whatever it is between us figured out we don't see other people. That way we don't have interference and we aren't in any hurry. Eventually we'll come to the point where we're willing to give what ever this is a chance or we're both ready to just move on. At the very least it'll give us a chance to think without hurting each other, even if it is accidental."

She looked shocked, her eyes wide and her lips slightly parted as though she was going to speak. "You're going to abstain from sex for as long as it takes us to determine what kind of relationship we have?"

"Don't sound like that's so impossible and I'm suggesting we both abstain. I can certainly do it if you can, and I'm willing, to get this settled once and for all."

"Okay, but understand that right now I still feel like punching you repeatedly."

"Okay? You'll do it? Starting today, right now?" He was grinning at her.

"Yes, as of right now but if I'm not mistaken this is going to cause you more immediate problems than it is me." She held her face, not wanting to smile at him yet, the thought of Cam making it easier.

"No, no problem at all. Now what else did you want to talk to me about?"

Starting from the beginning she told him every incident with her mother's head, the possible theories she and Russ had formed and the realization that they were probably being followed. She tried to remain objective but as she recounted the sound of her mother's voice, how lifelike the image had been and the realization the next day that her phrasing wasn't correct her voice faltered. He wanted to reach out for her hand but he knew that he had forfeited the privilege so instead he placed his hand on the table palm up as an offer. He was surprised when she slipped her hand into his, a small hesitant move that she allowed for only a moment before drawing it back.

"Well if someone was tapping into the computer we need to talk to an expert about how it could be done. I can speak to a guy at work and see if he can help us in that department. Now I know why you wanted to meet here."

"We took a taxi and made several changes, in the front of one building and out the back into another taxi, the way you showed me. I don't think we were followed here and I'm not sure we're being followed beyond the vicinity of the Jeffersonian. I'll know more after we ask the questions tomorrow night. Why do I keep smelling maple syrup?"

"It's me, it's a long story involving Parker and breakfast." She was looking at him oddly but he decided to continue. "I'd like to come over and go through those tonight if it's okay with you and Russ; I might be able to help. I have to take Parker back by eight so I could come by after that, bring some Thai food and we can brainstorm together. In the meantime I want you two to write down that list of things only you and your parents would know so we can work off of it later."

"Okay, make sure you bring enough pad thai and steamed dumplings, Russ loves those."

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In the cab on the way back to her building Russ watched her, something was still on her mind. "You're awfully quiet Temperance, what's bothering you?"

"Do you believe in love at first sight Russ? Have you ever had it happen to you?"

"Wow Tempe you are full of some big questions today." He stopped and ran hi hand through his hair. "Yes I believe in love at first sight. A long time ago I met a girl and I don't know how to explain it but I was compelled to get to know her, to be around her. The minute I saw her it was like I knew her and also like she knew me. It was so strange and yet it felt so right somehow. I probably shouldn't be your relationship guide I really not very good at it myself."

"You're doing better than I am. What happened to the girl?"

His eyes softened and he moved his gaze to the window, "she's dead. She over dosed, we had been together two years. I followed her into drugs; I would've followed her anywhere. After she died I was a mess, high all the time. I got careless, that's how I ended up in jail. In a way it was a good thing, I cleaned up, saw a shrink and studied. There wasn't much else to do." When he looked back his eyes were shining. She felt bad for bringing up such a painful event.

"I'm so sorry Russ, I didn't mean to upset you. I really didn't."

"Hey, it's okay, it was a long time ago. When I met Ella there was a spark there. Was it love at first sight? I don't know and I'm too afraid to think about it, so I don't." She was looking at him, eyebrow raised. "Don't look at me like that Temperance Brennan, we may have ended up in different shapes but we were cut from the same cloth."

She burst out laughing not only because it was funny but because she understood what it meant. It felt good to laugh and she missed it more than she realized until that moment. She ended up telling him all about her conversation with Booth, including their deal.

"So, let me get this straight. He dumped Cam and he has sworn to an agreement that neither of you will have sex with any one until you decide whether or not you're going to have it with each other? Excellent. This is going to be really interesting."

"Russ you can't say anything to him, promise me."

"Oh, I promise. You certainly don't need help complicating your life, you're doing a fine job of it on your own." He was laughing at all the possibilities. "This is better than Days of Our Lives."

"I don't know what that means. Russ if you don't stop laughing I swear I'm going to punch you."

He covered his mouth but he was still snickering as the cab pulled into her lot.

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