Chapter 2

As they got dressed there was a silence holding the room between Liz and Vernon. At least when Jim had done something wring he would admit it in the end she thought to herself. When she had got in to the bed she hadn't slept. She had just thought about him. Worried about him, about Jim. She hadn't done that in so long but the previous night, well she had lost sleep over him to say the least.

Was he ok? She had not heard from him in so long. She wished he would ring her again but he would he? She had told him to let her be and walk out of her life for ever. And just as she had wished at the time, he had and he had never gone back on his word. He could do what she wished when he tried. She had to see him now though, she just had to. Not knowing if he was ok, well it made her feel sick.

"What are you thinking?" she heard her boyfriend ask. He just wanted too know what to do to make her the Liz she had been when they had first laid eyes on one another again.

"I don't know any more." she told him honestly. Jim had been the man who had put the fear of the devil in to her, he had hit her and yet he had been the sweetest and possibly the most passionate lover who had ever lived. The only one she had needed even if at the time she had wanted others.

"Listen Liz I know things are not going to well right now, but I want us to get through this." said Vernon to her. He knew he had been a sod and a half to hurt lately he just didn't want to seem weak. He had heard the stories about her ex and her twin's father. How could he have not have when the boys on the street liked to tease him that one day he was going to come back and he was going to reclaim his ex wife as his own. He didn't want to lose her! Not deep down, he just had a hard time showing it. So he tried to be stronger and try not to show her any emotion. He was destroying her deep down, but he was unable to see it.

And so when he had been thinking. He had decided to try and change and not be so soft with her. Maybe that was the way he had kept her so long.

"I'll see you tonight." he said as he stamped on his big boots not realising he was just driving her further from him.

She didn't want to see him though, not that or any night. She didn't want them any more. She just wanted her first love. She couldn't take this pain any more, knowing he was the only one that was going to be able to heal her truly.
He only had three months left to serve. What if he did want to give them another go. They had been married twice before us but maybe it was going to be third time lucky for them. Why shouldn't it be for them? It was for plenty of others. She just wanted to settle with him. No more lies, no more games. She couldn't take that.

It had been arranged. At last it had been arranged. A girl's night, which Liz was in desperate need of. She had to know what her friends thought of her longing to see her ex again. She though already Deirdre would object. She had been the one Liz had always gone to when she had been hit by her husband and had needed a shoulder to cry on over the pain he was forever putting her through but what if this time in prison really was teaching him to be a better person, a better men.

As the pub doors shut and the lock in of the ladies commenced leis checked she could trust every one there not to tell Vernon what she was thinking or saying in there tonight, she had a feeling she was going to get very emotional over it. Frankie, looking as stylish and beautiful as she always had, was there and so was Deirdre of course, who needed a break from her mother. Bev obviously as she had been the one who had given them the drinks, and Eileen Grimshaw who was down on her luck with men as she had been ever since she had got to the Street.

As Bev brought some drinks over for the all, Liz gave her a grateful smile.

"You alright love?" the land lady asked now the wife of Fred Elliot. Liz shook her head and all of the girls there looked at her trying to figure out what had got there dear friend so down.

"What is it Liz?" asked Frankie as she looked at her friend with just as much concern as Steve had two weeks before when she had started to considering going up to the prison.

Lighting up a fag before she did any thing else, she looked at them, all of home knew how bad things were getting at home for her and Vernon.

"Is it Vernon?" asked Deirdre, and Liz nodded, before shaking her head in confusion. It wasn't all him she guessed… it was her heart telling her head to do something she feared. For its part, her heart was in a right old mess and she hated that she was so unable to control it, because she felt like the teenager who had fallen in love with Jim all over again.

"A bit I guess, but that isn't what I really want to talk about tonight of my little 'turn'" she said to them. They all had a 'turn' at complaining about something or talking through their personal problems whilst the other listened and tried to make suggestions to how they could make things better.

"Ok, I've really don't know what to do. We're fighting so much and instead of wanting to sort it out I just want to go up and see Jim in Blackpool. I don't know if I would be doing the right thing. Am I mad for wanting him?" she asked as she took another drag of her cigarette and felt a tear rolled on to her cheek. At least when she had had a row with Jim they always made it up. But Vernon... Well he was just so stubborn over reverie little thing in there life. Even if it had taken him days to say sorry after they had made it up at least for the most part Jim had said sorry when he had done something to hurt or upset her.

"Oh love." said Deirdre who had had a hunch he was what had been bothering Liz. When they were as close was they were, well, she was just able to tell what was wrong. "Has he made contact?"

Liz shook her head. This was all her doing, none of his. "Nope, I don't I know what's brought this on. I know I am mad. That man hurt me in so many ways. I am just so almost angry at myself for missing him now when I have been so strong for so long. But now, I just want him to hold Me." she said. She wished to the gods she hadn't divorced him. She had just been so cross with him. "I love him so much."

"I know you do." said Deirdre. "You always have," she finished sympathetically.

"Maybe if I do go back to him and he hits me again I deserve every thing I get for being do darn weak but these past few weeks…. I can't get him out my mind and I just see the good times. They out number the bad. Maybe whilst he has been inside has got, I dunno. Wiser with his age. It was about time he grew up after all." she said as she finished with a slight giggle. But that had always been something she had adored about him. How child like he had been… so naïve even at times. Every thing had been a joke to him when they had first meet. He had been just what she had needed back then. Maybe he was again.

"No, I don't think your weak at all." said Bev. "I think you're strong for facing up to your feelings." she said to her, her eyes glistening in adoration for her friend.

"I'm going to see him." Liz nodded. She had always known it. She didn't know why she had doubted herself and why she had called her friends. She had just need to be reassured, she guessed.

"Then good luck to you, if he is really the one you want," said Eileen. They all knew it was rare you got more than one chance at happiness but you had to create the chances yourself. Fate was not going to do all the work. You had to work to achieve your destiny.

"He is. He really is. Tomorrow I am going to book I a visit then I am going to get on the first train to Blackpool, to tell him how I feel." she said smiling, and only Deirdre looked doubtful but Liz knew it was going to work this time. It was because it just simply had too.

For the rest of the night she was useless at putting in comments for the other girls but they all knew it was because she had so much on her plate. If things went well with Jim then she was going to have to through Vernon out. She would do it gladly at the moment.

But she had a good feeling about her decision and even though she had not seen him in so long she had faith in Jim's love for her. Once he had told her he had always, and would always love her, and she hoped that was true because if not then this had been for nothing.