Liz was ready for the off. To go to Blackpool and be with her man again.
She hadn't told Vernon anything more than he had to know. Just that an old friend needed her and she had to go and see them. Whether Jim needed her or not she guessed she was going to find out, by whilst she did not know it was not a lie and so she didn't have to feel guilty.
Neither had Liz told her son where she was going for the weekend. When she had remarried his father Steve had taken some persuasion and she did not need any one putting her off this. That was the last thing she needed.
And so she had given Bev and Deirdre the true details of her trip and them only just in case some thing went wrong and she had to return. No one else needed them.
She had rang ahead, only to say Jim had a visitor, but she gave no name. She didn't want him knowing encase he got his hopes up and then she bottled her nerve at the last minute which may happen knowing herself as she did.
Sighing,
she leant against the window of the train she had got. She wished she
knew one way or another if she was doing the other, but the only
thing that would tell that was time.
-
When he had been told
that morning that he had a visitor coming in to see him Jim had been
shocked. His lads came in a few times to see him but Andy was going
through a busy patch and so was Steven. They weren't going to have
time for nothing but a quick phone call for their old dad right now.
No one else though came. Unless some of his family from Ireland were over and they were going to stop in on him which would be a nice surprise for him, he had to say.
Putting on old jeans which were faded and a grey sweater he went with the others who had visitors to go and met them as he tried to figure out who was going to be waiting for him when he got out there.
Did he dare to hope? Even think her name?
He didn't know. All he knew was he hoped it was her, because he hadn't heard from her in so long and if there was the slightest chance Liz would still go to him, he hoped she knew his arms were open to her. He was going crazy with out her when he allowed himself to remember but that was getting harder and harder because when he did everything about her was so clear still: The softness of her hair: The smoothness of her skin: The scent of her perfume.
He
had not forgotten a thing.
-
Steve had rang his mother that and
then she had had to lie to him, because till she had got to the
prison she was keeping up the pretence. Having made some thing up on
the spot she was not sure he had had any faith in what she had said
to him but it would have to do.
Vernon had stayed quiet and he had not rang her, not that she minded. She (as what was beginning to be normal) didn't want to talk to him. Especially not today. All they did was row and make up. When she had been with Jim, she had wanted to make up but now she had a feeling she just wanted to let Vernon go before the wrecked one another.
As she sat in the prison visiting room with all the other friends and relations who had come to keep up the spirits of there loved ones up she sighed. It was so unfair that when all he had been doing was defending there boy and Jim had ending up in here.
That
was when all the prisoners had been begun to filter out to join them
all.
She felt tears sting her painfully beofre she had even
clapped eyes on Jim. God knows what she was going to be like when he
got out to her, she just felt as if she had been waiting for today
forever and now she was here it wasn't yet feeling real to her. The
fact she had come to see him again. Why was she? Why was she feeling
like this now? It made no sense…
It was then he come out the gate and saw her. His face was confused. So it was her despite the fact she had begged never to hear from him again. Was it fair on him to drop and pick him up like this, neither knew but they both felt pulled together and as he walked over she could do nothing but stand up and hold him as tightly as he had the day they had had their twins.
She tried to hold back the tears but she couldn't. It was as if no one else was in the room when she was safe in his arms.
After a long five year absents in each others lives...
Pulling back after he had just been content with holding her close to his heart after ten minutes, he looked at her.
"You've not aged a day, Elizabeth." he said to her as he took her hand. "You're still so beautiful." he said making her blush.
"Sorry, I am so sorry for these past years." she said to him. When was she ever going to see she needed him more than she was ever going to accept?
"Shh, Liz it doesn't matter; not now your here." he promised as he raised his free hand to wipe away her tears whilst fighting to keep in his own.
"I just woke up and I wanted you back so much Jim." she said to him.
"You never lost me and you can have me when ever you want me soon. Three months is all I have left to serve and it isn't long. We can try again, if it is what you want." he said hopefully. This was everything he had hoped for so long. Her…his beautiful darling.
But there was some thing in her eyes which made him think. It couldn't be this easy. Nothing ever was when they were involved. There was always a lop hole.
"I don't know what I want right now. I just needed to see you, and I love you and I do want to be with you, its just hard right now." She tried to him.
"I am not the only man on the scene, am I?" she shook her head as he asked. Yes, that'd be it…
"I don't want him though, not any more. I was just thinking on us and realised, no one, not Johnny, Michael, no one has ever compared to you, to us. And Vernon certainly doesn't either." she sighed. She had thought for a bit he had. She had been a fool.
"Then through him out and in three months see how you feel. Whatever, I am going to be back on the street, so I am," he said to her telling her of his plans. He had no where else he wanted to be but close to her and at least one of the sons they had had when they had been together.
"You mean it?" she said hopefully.
"Of course I do." he said as he kissed her hands. He wasn't going to lie or disappoint her. "I am going to be there for you, whether you need me or not." he said and she let out a laugh. She had and was always going to need him.
"I do." she said and a silence came between them which was gentle and calming. It had been rare they had had moments like this when they had been married and it was now Liz was sure of her choice. When he was tender and loving with her, it was great. She neither needed nor did she want any other any longer. The pain with him was worth the pleasure.
"Three months." she said to him as if it was a dream, one they had both been longing for. Now it looked as if it was going to come true. After all this time…
"Three tiny, short months." he said to her as the bell rang. Time for her to go.
"Don't worry. I'm going to be home soon ok. I know we have a lot more to talk about but we are going to get through this, we can as long as we have each other." he swore to her.
"Make sure you behave yourself Jim. Don't get any longer. Not when you are so close to the end now. Not when we are so close to the end," she said to him, she couldn't take it if he got in trouble and had to stay here even longer. She'd go mad because when he was behind bars it felt like she was too.
"I'd have to be crazy now I know I have you waiting for me again to do anything to get in the way of that." he said and before she could do anything he had pulled her up to his height and he was kissing her as a man should kiss his wife, not his ex wife. He didn't want to let her go when it came to the end.
"I love you." he told her simply. "I always have and I am always going too. Nothing will change that." he said and some thing told her she could believe that.
With her head held high and her tears dried, Elizabeth left the prison. She had a lot to go over the next three months.
Smiling, she felt as if the sun was out just for her as she went to the car. She had made the right choice when she had gone in there and now she knew it.