Oh my God, the craziness is yet to die!
Chapter 11: Humor In The…Riiiiiiiiiight…
Cool! Humor! Time to…wait, weren't we…uh…oh, fine. Time to get zany and even more random than usual! Is that possible? Huh? Is it? We'll see…
AJ: …
Luigi: (sitting in the corner)
Mario: (laughing at him)
C. Falcon: Heh. I picked this one.
All: Yeah, thanks.
Kintaro: So…now what do we do?
AJ: We need humor people- (gets hit by a stuffed elephant)
Excel: Hello?
AJ: Oh. All we need then is a setting. Cause this one sucks.
DK: To the park!
At the playground
Bowser: (scaring the living daylights out of little kids, torching parents and various other things)
All: …
Ilpalazzo: Point?
Samus: Hell no.
DK: I didn't mean this park…
At the park
All: (sitting near a large fountain)
Bowser: (torching pigeons)
Mario: (eating yogurt mixed with pudding) That's better…
Kirby: I have a mallet.
All: …
Kirby: Jigglypuff, wanna play hockey?
Jigglypuff: Where's your puck?
(whack)
Jigglypuff: (stuck in a tree)
Peach: That was mean!
Kirby: Point?
Peach: That was mean.
Roy: I HAVE TEH POWER!
All: Shh…
Roy: To get Jigglypuff down.
All: Shh…
Roy: I'll burn it with my Sword of…uh…Burn! (sets tree on fire with Sword of Something)
Jigglypuff: Wait! You could've just cut the tree down!
Roy: Then innocent people would get hurt! Duuuuuuuuh!
Jigglypuff: (growls, tree goes up in flames)
Bystanders: (watching burning tree) Ooooh!
Kintaro: Wow. That tree's pretty when it's burning. (slap)
Zelda: Idiot.
Link: Does anyone here wield water now?
Mr. G&W: I have oil! (rushes to the tree, throws oil on it, tree explodes)
Bystanders: (flying off in different directions, ablaze, screaming)
Roy: (pats G&W on the head) Good boy. (slap)
Ritsuko: She couldn't have survived that…
Junpei: Like it matters! It'll all go back to "normal" soon enough.
Airi: That's true. Still mean, but true.
Bowser: (eating fried pigeon, which must taste pretty bad) Can we go now?
AJ: Yeah. Let's go get some burgers.
DK: To the chicken spot!
At the chicken spot
Y. Link: They make burgers too?
Link: Burgers, chicken, pizza, ice cream, mashed potatoes, pudding, pie, rice, cheese fries, patties…
Y. Link: This is like a God restaurant or something.
Link: That's what I thought…
All: …
Clerk/Manager/Owner/Janitor: What you want?
AJ: 50 burgers.
Clerk: Damn. Um, you're gonna have to wait like…half an hour for those.
AJ: Uh-huh. How much?
Clerk: …$126.
AJ: Here's $130, keep the change. You need it.
Clerk: Thanks. Guys! 50 burgers!
Fry Cook: What? You better pay us big time for this!
Clerk: Sure I will! (under breath) Not.
All: (chuckle)
30 mins later
All: (eating burgers)
Marth: Any idea what we can do now?
AJ: These are Ultimo Randomnessness Burgers of the Damned! One bite from each of you will bring one random event! Ha! Saved it!
Falcon: (clapping)
Dr. Mario: These are so unhealthy…but…bite 1!
All: (take a bite)
.730888888888888888888 seconds later
A naked dude with a red scarf gets hit by a pink Hummer. The Hummer crashes into an ant and explodes.
Excel: Holy hell that was some random sh*t!
Bystanders: (covered in bandages) Oooh…
DK: Let's try somewhere else. To the mall!
At the mall
Yoshi: Bite 2!
All: (take a bite)
.25534323908745623 seconds later
The mall explodes, killing everyone and everything in the vicinity except the main characters.
All: …
DK: To the- (slap)
Nana: I want a turn! To the daycare!
At the daycare
Pichu: Bite 3!
All: (take a bite)
.9 nanoseconds later…like that's possible
All the kids start singing Hakuna Matata, the techno remix by Daft Punk! They're dancing and everything…
Falco: That bass is awesome.
Celcia: So who gets the next-
Excel: I do! Me! Right here! Excel has decided to pick that one place everyone loves to love to love! That's right! To the zoo!
At the zoo
Excel: Bite 4!
All: (take a bite)
Immediately after that
All the monkeys start beating the sh*t out of all the other animals! Horrors! Elephants being slapped by their own trunks! Snakes being tied in knots and used as clubs to beat up other snakes! Apes twisting zookeepers' necks like bottle caps! Excel cheering for some odd reason! No one dared challenge them, since they had no natural enemies! Even DK joined in, swinging tigers by their tails and bashing things into the ground! So many exclamation marks! Oh, the inhumanity!
Luigi: Damn.
All: …(run away)
At the harbor
Peach: Why is the harbor so close to the zoo?
Fox: Peach…don't ask questions.
AJ: Bite 5!
All: (take a bite)
10 seconds earlier
A battleship fires bombs filled with honey at the harbor, trapping people in…honey. Duh. Kirby eats about 4 of them and passes out. Yoshi eats Kirby and starts choking on him.
DK: (punches Yoshi in the stomach, Kirby flies out his mouth and sticks to DK's face)
Ness: We only have, like, 3 bites left!
Dr. Mario: I got one! To the doctor's office!
At the doctor's office
Doctor: (performing open-heart surgery) Hey, Doc. Could you guys keep it down? This is kind of important work.
Dr. Mario: Sure. Bite 6!
Doctor: (stabs something inside patient with scalpel) Crap!
A second later
The patient turns into a zombie, yanks the doctor's arm off, and bites him, turning him into a zombie. Fox shoots them both in the head…but nothing happens.
Fox: Oh. Right.
Ritsuko blows them up with a grenade launcher. They die.
All: …(run away)
Outside the hospital
Junpei: 2 left. Make em' count.
Ilpalazzo: I'll make good use of the next one. To the rock concert!
At the rock concert
All: (amidst a sea of screaming fans, Ilpalazzo included)
Airi: Bite 7.
All: What?
Airi: Bite 7!
All: WHAT?
Mic Kirby: BIIIIIITE 7!
All: Oh. (take a bite)
3 seconds later
A guitar chord is struck and everyone in the audience that isn't important melts.
Pikachu: (watching Pichu puddle, about to cry)
…How'd…eh.
Pikachu: (sobbing)
Ilpalazzo: Excellent.
Kurama: I'll get the last one, if you don't mind.
AJ: Still here?
Kurama: Of course. To the mansion!
At the mansion finally
Kurama: Last bite.
All: (take a bite)
5.8.4 seconds later
Yusuke comes out of nowhere and punches Kurama into a wall.
Yusuke: Gotcha!
AJ: Where'd you-
The mansion collapses again.
All: …
Kurama: (trips Yusuke) You should save it for action.
Master Hand grabs Yusuke and throws him into the sky.
Bowser: Nice. (gets pounded into the ground by MH)
MH: Tomorrow, the anime people gotta go.
All: But why?
MH: Cause if they stay here too long, they'll never be able to go home. At least until I feel like making another portal.
Ritsuko: Technically, we won't be going "home". Just back to Elf World.
Jigglypuff: Is that a theme park or something?
Junpei: No! It's a retarded alternate universe we're stuck in until…oh, I'm tired of explaining…
Yusuke: (lands in the remains of the kitchen)
MH: (leaves) I'll fix this thing later. Go to bed.
Falcon: It's 4:50! We didn't even eat dinner! (looks at burgers) Oh.
AJ: Fine, we'll go to bed…when we find them…
Only action remains! Will the next chapter be the last? Will the anime cameos leave? Will Mario stop eating pudding? Will things ever be sane again? Only Action In The M-I-X can answer those questions! Supposedly!
Maybe this'll end. Maybe it won't.