You guys mightthink that this is an awfully fast update...well that's because this was a boredom fic i did some weeks ago but never thought i would end up posting it...so yeah...all the chappies were done a long time ago. I got mixed up on whose the good side of Zetsu, I thought the white side was good and the black side was bad but it's actually vise-versa... i was just too lazy to rewrite it. I know Sasori isn't really a perv but to me he looks like one...plus, who else would i pick to be the Akatsuki's perv? Deidara? Nah, he looks too much like a girl to be a perv. Like I said, this IS an OOCish fic, so deal with me. I only got one review on this fic but 30 plus hits... man... people these days... thanks for the one who reviewed!
She said it in a cheerful hyper-active way as she placed the chocolate back in her pocket and shoot up, making the two men sweat-drop.
Man2: sir leader wasn't kidding when he said this was going to be easy…
Hoohige: let's go!
The blonde held onto both the two men's hands as they walked.
Hoohige: I'm Uzumaki Hoohige by the way, what're your names?
All of the sudden the two men stopped and let go of the girl's hands; they stepped in front of her and placed their violet finger nailed hands on their hats.
Man1: I… am Uchiha Itachi.
With that the first man dramatically took his hat off and shook his pony tailed hair like a shampoo commercial model with a sparkling background, Hoohige star-eyed.
Hoohige: wow! He's so pretty!
Man2: and I… am Hoshigaki Kisame.
The other man did just as the same except since his hair was short he just ran a blue hair through his dark blue hair; Hoohige's reaction was very different. She grimaced seeing his abnormal shark-like features instead of star-eye like at Itachi's bishounen face, she backed away a bit and hid behind Itachi.
Hoohige: he looks scary…
Itachi: I told you that only I can do that because I'm the pretty one here.
Kisame looked down with depressed aura.
Kisame: I wish I could be as pretty as you are Itachi-san…
Itachi: well you're not, you're a shark-man, and that's what you're going to be forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever.
Kisame was now even more depressed.
Kisame: you're not helping Itachi-san…
Itachi: I know I'm not.
Hoohige: aw… poor little sharky's sad…
The blonde went up to the blue-skinned man and patted his shoulder.
Hoohige: don't worry; Hoo-chan will be your friend.
Kisame puppy-dog eyed.
Kisame: you will?
Hoohige nodded and Kisame started crying happy puppy-dog rivers.
Kisame: I never had a friend before.
Hoohige: now you will!
Kisame & Hoohige: yay!
The two hugged with a smiley faces as a background making Itachi sweat-drop.
Itachi: Kisame stop being a pedophile and let's go sheesh.
At the Akatsuki Headquarters…
Sasori and Deidara were sitting outside doing mostly nothing but breathe, Sasori looked up and saw two tall figures and one small figure coming their way.
Sasori: hey, Itachi and Kisame are back.
Deidara: who's that other dude, un?
Sasori: we'll find out.
Itachi, Kisame and Hoohige were nearing the headquarters, Itachi had a big twitching vein on his head since Kisame and Hoohige won't stop singing 'What I've Been Looking For'.
Kisame: it's hard to believe, that I couldn't see.
Kisame & Hoohige: that you were always right beside me thought I was alone, with no one to hold, but you were always right beside me.
Hoohige: this feelings like no other.
Kisame & Hoohige: I want you to know!
Itachi: ah cut the High School Musical shit, we're here.
Kisame & Hoohige: yay!
As the three reached the entrance, they met with Sasori and Deidara.
Sasori: Deidara, remember when you asked who was that dude with them?
Deidara: yeah, what about it, un?
Sasori smirked at seeing the 14-year-old blonde in-between Itachi and Kisame.
Sasori: it's not a dude, it's a dudette.
Deidara sweat-dropped and sighed.
Deidara: here goes flirty Sasori again…
Sasori: hey, come here often?
Hoohige: this is my first time here, man you're lame.
Sasori stiffened into a rock and looked down with depressed aura with Deidara held up a score board with two sides labeled 'Sasori' and 'New Girl'.
Deidara: score one for the new girl.
Itachi: gah, back off Sasori, we're supposed to bring her to sir.
Sasori: oh? What does sir what to do with her?
Itachi: don't get any ideas Sasori, sir's not that harsh.
Sasori: or is he?
Sasori smirked in a way that made Hoohige feel uncomfortable.
Deidara: don't worry; Sasori's always the flirty pervert of our group, I'm Deidara by the way, un.
Kisame: just try and stay away from him.
Itachi: c'mon, c'mon, let's not get the leader waiting.
Kisame: coming Itachi-san.
The three entered the building and walked along the hallways and met with another Akatsuki member who looked like a venus fly-trap.
Hoohige: who's that?
Itachi: that's just Zetsu.
Kisame: be careful with him, it's like he has two sides.
White Zetsu: ohayo Itachi-san, Kisame-san and uh… girl.
Black Zetsu: hope ya'll burn in hell.
Hoohige sweat-dropped at hearing the bad part of the plant guy.
Kisame: ohayo Zetsu.
White Zetsu: who's the girl with you?
Black Zetsu: you gonna molest her?
Hoohige grimaced and hid behind Itachi again.
Itachi: no we're not going to molest her, geez, the leader just told us to get her and bring her here.
Black Zetsu: maybe the leader's going to be the one who's going to molest her.
Itachi: oh shut up Black Zetsu.
Black Zetsu: hissssss…
White Zetsu: sorry about him.
Kisame: its okay, we better get going.
White Zetsu: but we don't know her name yet.
Black Zetsu: yeah, we got to know the name of leader's whore.
Hoohige grimaced more but nevertheless she gave her name.
Hoohige: Uzumaki Hoohige…
White Zetsu: Hoohige, nice to meet you.
Black Zetsu: Hoohige means whiskers but the brat doesn't have any damn whiskers.
Itachi: ah whatever, let's just get going before Black Zetsu goes on about molesting again.
Kisame: good idea.
The three hurriedly went away from the man with two sides without looking back, White Zetsu was crying rivers.
White Zetsu: now look what you did this time Black Zetsu! I was going to make a friend!
Black Zetsu: you're too much of a freak to have a friend.
White Zetsu: waaaaaaaaaaah!!! You're mean Black Zetsu!
Black Zetsu: shut up.
Itachi, Kisame and Hoohige continued to walk uninterrupted, or so they thought when they met up with three other Akatsuki men. The religious Hidan, the money-obsessed Kakuzu and the mask-wearing Tobi.
Kakuzu: back already? That was awfully short.
Itachi: it was, I told her to come with me and she said okay.
Hidan: did you kill anyone?
Kisame: no.
Hidan: hisss… terrible sinners…
Kisame: not all of us are into Jashin, Hidan.
While the four were having a conversation Hoohige was staring up at Tobi.
Tobi: what're you staring at little girl?
Hoohige: you, duh, how could you see straight with only one eye-hole?
Tobi: that, my dear friend, is a mystery.
Hoohige: we're not even friends yet.
Tobi: well, okay then, what's your name?
Hoohige: Uzumaki Hoohige.
Tobi: well I'm Tobi, let's be friends.
Hoohige: okay!
Tobi: yay! I finally have a friend!
The two then hugged like when Hoohige and Kisame hugged, Kisame saw this and cried rivers.
Kisame: I thought she was my friend…
Itachi: shut up Kisame, no one cares about a shark-freak like you.
Kisame: waaaaaaaaah! I'm going to my room!
With that the crying blue skinned man ran off and slammed the door of his room.
Kakuzu: don't you think you were being too harsh on him Itachi?
Itachi: I could be harsher.
Kakuzu: okaaaay…
Hidan: Tobi stop being a pedophile!
Tobi: I'm not being a pedophile! We're just hugging!
Hidan: pedophile! Pedophile! Pedophile!
Tobi: SHUT UP YOU OVERLY RELIGIOUS FREAK!
Hidan: YOU SHUT UP YOU MASK WEARING FREAK!
Kakuzu: now, now, let's not fight.
Tobi & Hidan: SHUT UP YOU MONEY OBSESSED FREAK!
Kakuzu's vein throbbed angrily.
Kakuzu: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!
With that battle cry he tackled the two of them and they started getting into a cat-fight, Hoohige and Itachi just watched with eyes wide as they started biting and pulling each others hair.
Itachi: we better go.
Hoohige: I think Kakuzu's going to hit Hidan on the groin.
Hidan: AAAAAAHH! OH GOD MY PRIVATE!
Hidan fell on the floor clutching his aching groin where Kakuzu had hit him.
Hoohige: knew it.
Itachi: let's just go.
Hoohige: what about Kisa-chan?
Itachi: leave him in his room; he gets all angsty teenager style when I make him cry.
Ah... poor little Kisa-chan... not that I hate him or anything... not that I like him either.. (O.o) but I've been waiting to do that to him for a long time, I mean, it's not everyday you see Hoshigaki Kisame, a shark-faced dude act like an angsty teenager and cry in his room and all that other stuff. Aw... once again... poor Kisa-chan...