Let's wrap it up, once and for all! Or try! Yeah. 2 years of scripted nonsense dies today.

Chapter 14: Action In The M-I-X Part 3/M-I-X Till You Can't M-I-X No More

The climax and the resolution in the same chapter? Madness, I tell you, madness! Regardless, only AJ, Hiei, Kurama, Pikachu, Fox, Falcon, Sheik, Sanzo, Gojyo, and Hakkai managed to escape the lightning rain which transported most of the party, thanks to the power of the GBA. Hail the GBA! That resilient little thing…What can these 10 hope to do to end all this? Is Mewtwo okay? What are the Hands doing, if they're even alive? And, most important of all…um…no, wait, that's all the issues. Carry on.

Fox's voice: (echoing) I think we're approaching the top.

The sparks shoot through multiple objects, including (but not limited to) a pigeon, a floor, another floor, and a couple of wires. They ultimately end up in the very room Mewtwo's in. How shocking.

Falcon's voice: (echoing) Ding! Top floor! Evil villains!

Each spark becomes the character we know and love (unless it's Falcon, of course). Everyone looks at the "final boss" with disbelief, frustration, and slight confusion.

AJ: Of course. Another Hello Kitty thingie.

Overly Sweet Voice: That's Hello Queen to you, commoner!

Hello Queen. Description: a Pikachu-sized Hello Kitty with a crown and scepter. Rock on.

Hiei: (looking at the pods) What are you doing?

Hello Queen: I gathered up the strongest I could get my hands on so I can harness their strength for my own needs! Isn't that just adorable?

Sanzo: (flatly) No. (fires at her)

Hello Queen: (catches bullet) The Hands have so much power it's mind-boggling, so they take a while to suck the strength out of. But these guys…(playing with bullet) don't take nearly as long. It's like dial-up versus a T1 connection!

Pikachu: A what versus a what?

Hello Queen: And when I'm so powerful that no one even thinks about stopping me, I'll make this world the cutest and most cuddly in the entire freakin' universe! (maniacal giggling)

All: (staring at her)

Hello Queen: (still giggling)

All: (still staring)

Hello Queen: (still giggling)

All: (still staring)

Hello Queen: (out of nowhere) But first, you all have to die.

Falcon: Yeah, like you can kill the best of the best. (gets shot- rather, gets bullet thrown through his chest) Not…fair…

Sanzo: Saw that coming. Are you guys ready? Cause I'm sick of this place.

AJ: I need batteries…

Pikachu: Batteries are for normal people. You've got me. (zaps the holy hell out of the GBA, which glows intensely)

AJ: Oh. Dur. Thanks.

Fox: (presses button on headset) Oh, I'm ready.

Sheik: (preps multiple needles) Ready and waiting.

Hiei: Let's just get it over with.

Kurama: (whips out a rose) Yes. Let's.

Gojyo: (summons shakujou) I'm with the other redhead.

Hakkai: What everyone else is saying…

Pikachu: (sparking)

Mewtwo: (in his blue bubble) Enough is enough.

Hello Queen: (stands up on her throne) You're totally right! (holds up scepter, which glows pink and begins to absorb visible life force from pods)

Sheik: (jumps up, throws all needles at her)

Hello Queen: (warps behind Pikachu, grabs him by the tail)

Pikachu: Hey! Get your own…wait. (gets thrown at Fox)

Hakkai: (throws a ball of yellow light at Hello Queen)

Ka-blooey.

Hello Queen: (protected by force field from scepter) Ha! Loser!

Hiei: (rushes by with sword drawn)

Hello Queen: You missed! (scepter turns to ribbons) Hey, that's not- (gets tackled by Pikachu into a wall)

Gojyo: (sends crescent blade hurtling at her)

Hello Queen: (narrowly dodges)

Kurama: Rose Whip! (rose turns into thorny whip, begins lashing at her)

Hello Queen: (dodges until attacked by a barrage of blue sparks)

AJ's Voice: (echoing) Where are the Hands so this sh*t can finally end?

Hello Queen: (swatting sparks) I'll never tell! You'll have to kill me first! (gets pinned to the wall by shakujou)

Gojyo: That all? Deal.

Hello Queen: Don't think it'll be so easy, fools! (gets shot in the head, dies)

All: …(look at Sanzo)

Sanzo: What? She had it coming.

AJ: (turns to normal) Well…game over? I guess?

Fox: What about him? (points to Falcon)

Falcon: (in a pool of his own blood, groans)

Kurama: Never mind him. We need to free everyone else and get out of here.

Hiei: (attempts to slash one of the pods in half) It's too hard.

Hakkai: I think there's something we didn't quite do yet.

Pikachu: Guys? Um…(points to scepter, which is glowing pink, hovering, and reassembling)

Sheik: We're not done after all.

The scepter turns into a large, pink, glowing ball, and embeds itself in Hello Queen. She is covered in a pink aura, and the hole in her head disappears.

Pikachu: Mewtwo? Help?

Mewtwo: (eyes glow blue)

Hello Queen: (ascending, covered in blue and pink aura)

Mewtwo: (groaning)

AJ: Yeah, this'll be tough.

Hakkai: She's really getting strong. It feels like the air is trembling.

Mewtwo: (gets knocked into a wall)

All the pods go dark.

Hello Queen: (distorted, evil voice) What'd I tell ya? (meows, sends everyone flying)

Fox: (springs up) Come on, come on…

Pikachu: You didn't…

The castle shakes violently.

Fox: Of course I did.

Gojyo: What exactly did you do? (castle shakes again)

Fox: That shaking is the Great Fox blasting the crap outta this place.

AJ: I get it. Can't bring down the host, so bring down the house. Nice.

Fox: (smiles)

Hiei: We're still in here. (castle shakes again)

Hello Queen: (collects energy in paws) You all perish…

AJ: And that's our cue. (GBA glows)

Our party turns into sparks once more, and they fly out the window, leaving Hello Queen and everybody else. It takes 2 revolutions around the castle to find the Great Fox and land on it.

Fox: Glad I installed this. (presses another button on headset)

A large cannon appears on the bottom of the gigantinormous ship.

Kurama: And what exactly does this do?

Fox: Big bomb.

There is a huge, huge explosion that completely destroys the castle.

All: (staring at Fox) …

Fox: (smiling)

There's a crater where the castle used to be.

Fox: (still smiling)

Gojyo: Yeah. HOW did that help?

Fox: Um…we won? Yay?

Pikachu: They're all gone…and- wait, that cat's still down there!

Hello Queen is indeed down there. Well, the top half.

There is yet another huge, huge explosion that makes the crater bigger.

Gojyo: WHAT THE (beep), MAN??

Fox: My bad…

Sheik: Hey, look, it's the Hands.

All: (looking)

The Hands fly in, holding giant ice-cream cones. Master Hand's is vanilla. Crazy Hand's is chocolate, peanut butter, sherbet, and rocky road mixed with syrup and mustard.

All: (looking)

Master Hand: Having fun?

AJ: What the HELL is going on?

Master Hand: You guys were running out of ideas, so I staged this little action/adventure to speed things along.

Crazy Hand: I helped!

Master Hand: Shut up. I made that entire castle and everything in it. The highway, those robots, the squirrel…even Hello Queen. My work.

Hiei: So where are the others?

Master Hand: Chillin' at the mansion, yo.

Pikachu: Ew. Then…what about Falcon?

Master Hand: (tries to shrug, but fails and punches the ship) I'll worry about that later. Right now, our little guests have to scram.

(back at the mansion's living room)

Yusuke: You guys sure took your sweet time.

Hiei: Don't get me started.

Gojyo: (giving Goku a noogie) Too bad you didn't really get eaten. I could've used the silence.

Goku: Yeah, right, you probably would've cried your little eyes out!

Sanzo: (sighs) Back to normal…I question how good this actually is.

Hakkai: Look at it this way. At least you get to use more ammo.

Spike: Can we go now?

Master Hand: One second. (somehow devours ice-cream cone) Okay, limo's outside, beat it. I'm taking a nap. (flies away, revealing half the limo)

Crazy Hand: …OH! (flies away, revealing the other half of the limo)

Mario: I guess this is where we say goodbye.

Sanzo: Yeah, whatever. Let's go.

The Sanzo Party gets in the limo.

Spike: (gets up, looks around) Bye.

Spike gets in the limo.

Junpei: (groans) Do we-

Celcia: Yes, come on, Junpei.

Junpei: But-

Ritsuko: Come on, Junpei.

Junpei: …I-

Airi: Junpei…

Junpei: Fine. (stomping out of the mansion, grumbling) This is why I hate humor stories…

Those Who Hunt Elves get in the limo.

Ilpalazzo: Excel?

Excel: Yes, Lord Ilpalazzo, sir!

Ilpalazzo: It's time we return to the base. Say your little goodbyes and whatnot and report to the limo. (goes outside)

Excel: It was really fun hanging with you guys, hope to do it again! Well, not really, since I'll technically be going AWOL, which isn't a very logical thing for me to be doing with my employed state the way it is now, but bye! (rushes outside)

Excel and Ilpalazzo get in the limo.

Yusuke: Yeah, insert tearful goodbye here. I'm starving.

Hiei: I'm glad Kuwabara didn't show.

Kurama: I'm glad everyone's okay.

Yusuke/Hiei: What a surprise.

Yusuke, Hiei, and Kurama get in the limo.

Kintaro: (comes out of nearby closet) Is it over?

All: (staring)

Kintaro: I didn't want to die…so…I just hid there.

Falco: Bye, whatever your name is.

Kintaro: Oh, right! So long!

Kintaro gets in the limo.

AJ: Now it's my turn. I know you'll miss me, but-

Bowser: (throws AJ out of the mansion)

The limo drives off.

Peach: Well, that seemed like forever, yet only a short time.

Pichu: Yeah…

All: …

Pichu: I want my chips back.

Pikachu: I didn't f*cking EAT YOUR F*CKING CHIPS!

Pichu: YOU'RE A LIAR! A LIAR AND A SLUT!

Pikachu: THAT MAKES NO SENSE!

Pichu: JUST LIKE YOU EATING MY GODDAMN MOTHERF*CKIN CHIPS!

Everyone Else: (leaving)

THE F*CKIN' END! We made it through over 2 years of pure, scripted sh*t alive! We got plus experience! We got minus intelligence! Get out before your brain melts completely!

Seriously.