Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or Jedi Apprentice, please don't sue me.
WARNING: Jedi Quest spoilers. Sexual implications/comments, for the most part non-graphic but not meant for the squeamish. Some sad stuff. A little bit of violence and implied violence. All in all this chapter's pretty intense in my opinion, just to warn everyone. That means you Chels, no calling me and acting all innocent like you're permanently traumatized.
Chapter 6I want you to remember
A love so full it could send us all ways
I want you to surrender
All my feelings rose today
And I want you to remain
The power of children can amaze
I'll try not to complain
I know that's a pisser baby
The chemicals between us
The walls that lie between us
Lying in this bed
The chemicals displaced
There is no lonelier place
Than lying in this bed
-Bush
Obi-Wan
Sunlight streamed through the cracked walls of Obi-Wan's temporary cell, chasing away the chilly night air. He welcomed the heat, but day or night made no difference to him. He couldn't sleep after his encounter with Xanatos.
The gentle sunlight soon turned into a blistering fog of heat, and sweatdrops beaded Obi-Wan's brow, the salty liquid stinging his eyes. He wiped his forehead with the sleeve of his tunic. The temperature was extremely uncomfortable, and it was still morning. Heat. Unbearable heat. Similar to what he had felt the night before, but in a different way.
He sighed in frustration and stood. After a moment of pacing he kneeled on his haunches, unable to rid himself of restlessness. Finally, he sat back, hoping to mediate.
I'll accept anything if it gets me away from thinking of this feeling.
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Xanatos
Xanatos slid on his black tunic and deep blue boots. The air was hot and heavy, but he wouldn't change out of the dark colors.
"Sir?" A voice asked from the doorway. Another nameless soldier. Xanatos turned to look at him.
"The speeders carrying the prisoners are quickly approaching out destination," he reported. "We will lose communication with them while in the forest, but there's no reason why they won't make it. The beasts can't stop speeders.
Xanatos nodded. "Good. We leave in 10 minutes, get the Jedi."
The man left without another word.
I'll be happy when I don't have to deal with these idiots any longer. In two weeks, at the longest, Qui-Gon will be dead, the mercenaries will be paid and gone, and Obi-Wan…
Xanatos paused in mid-walk to the door.
Where will Obi-Wan be? I told him in the beginning that I was going to kill him along with Qui-Gon, but am I really?
Rubbing his temples, trying to alleviate the oncoming headache, Xanatos exited the ancient building.
Outside the soldiers stood waiting for their orders. Xanatos was pleased to see that none of them were fanning themselves or complaining about the heat, excepting the idiot Gerrith.
Everich, the man that Xanatos had placed in-charge of the soldiers, mostly to avoid his own interaction with them, approached.
"Move them out," Xnataos ordered him. "They know the way."
Everich did as he was told. Of course he did, he's nothing more then a hunter-for-hire. He follows orders without individual regard. Xanatos was pleased and disgusted with him at the same time.
The group began their advancement through the vapor-soaked forest. After a few minutes Xanatos sought out Obi-Wan and fell into step beside him. He reached out, tore off a piece of Obi-Wan's robe, and then dropped the small scrap on the ground.
"What are you doing?" Obi-Wan demanded in an angry voice, pulling back.
"Leaving Qui-Gon a clue," Xanatos smirked.
Obi-Wan glared at him for a moment, but it was too hot for anyone to focus on anything else. "I'm so happy that you brought me to a planet with such nice weather," he commented sarcastically, all the while attempting to wipe a bead of sweat off his cheek with cuffed hands.
A vein pulsed in Xanatos's forehead as he glared at Obi-Wan.
So that's how we're going this huh? He's going to pretend like nothing happened last night? Like he didn't kiss me?
"Don't worry," Xanatos responded. "We'll only be walking in the heat for a few days, a week at the most. Then we'll be at the academy."
Obi-Wan continued to stare ahead for a moment. "How's your wound?" he asked, almost too quietly for Xanatos to hear.
"Fine," Xanatos batted away a nasty looking jumin bug. "Your ankle?"
"I'll live."
Why is this so uncomfortable?
A cool breeze suddenly chilled the layer of sweat over Xanatos's skin. Surprised, he glanced up at the sky. To the East was a wave of black clouds.
"Storm's coming," a soldier mumbled.
Xanatos took his lightsaber off his belt and tucked it inside the safe layers of his cloak. The last thing he needed was for his saber to short out when the rain hit them. After a moment of thought he did the same to Obi-Wan's, which was also on his belt.
"Anything has to be better then the heat," Obi-Wan commented, staring at the ominous clouds that were about to beat the sun into submission.
"That's what you think," Xanatos mumbled. "You've never been in one of these Tarrian storms."
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Qui-Gon
"There's a storm brewing," the pilot informed the solemn Jedi knight.
The starship was hovering over Tarria's atmosphere, and even from space the dark clouds could be seen.
"Can you still land?" Qui-Gon asked, trying not to show his irritation.
How can this be happening? I can't delay any longer, I have to find Obi-Wan!
"Yeah," the pilot nodded, relieving Qui-Gon. "There's something that looks like a town down there. I could land there."
Qui-Gon assumed that was where the old factories were. Xanatos would expect him to land in the greatest outcropping; it would be the easiest way to get on Tarria's surface.
"No," Qui-Gon said thoughtfully. "Not there. Let's find someplace else to land."
The pilot shrugged. "Your choice. That might take a little while though, this place is all forest."
Qui-Gon felt frustrated. They couldn't land someplace that Xanatos wanted them to land, that was suicide, but he didn't have the time to hunt for another opening. He brushed a tired hand across his eyes, then shook his head. "No, we don't have the time to search. Land in the factory development. I'll deal with whatever is waiting for me."
A few buttons were switched and, in moments, the ship descended toward the outcropping. The landing was smooth and without apparent problems. However, something was… off.
"Wait here," Qui-Gon said. He strode to the landing ramp, keeping a close eye on it as it lowered. Something was wrong.
Of course, Qui-Gon was not disappointed. The moment he stepped onto the ramp a rain of blaster fire fell around him. Luckily, his lightsaber was ignited and in his hands before the first shot was fired.
He deflected the first stream of fire, but it just kept coming, and seemingly from everywhere. He leaped off the ramp and ducked behind it, using it as a shield. He was able to glance around the edge of the ramp well enough to see that there were three men about 50 yards away, brandishing high-tech, updated blasters. He couldn't tell where the other shots were coming from.
Who are they? Since when does Xanatos work with others? Qui-Gon's surprised thoughts were quickly brushed away. Xanatos doesn't work with others, he uses them.
Another delay, Qui-Gon thought in disgust. It was only three men, but they were three heavily armed men, and he had no way of surprising them.
The entire area was overgrown with plant life, making the ground uneven. There was an ancient landspeeder parked in front of a factory 20 yards away. If he could get to that, he could take cover. From there he'd have a better shot at the men.
It took him a precious second to process this, and another half a second to decide on it. He shot out from under the ramp and ran for the landspeeder. Blaster fire tore apart the land around him, but he was not hit. He crouched behind his makeshift shelter and considered his next move. There was nothing else to take cover behind, and he was at least 30 yards away. The only option he had was to take them head-on.
The sun glinted off the roof, and he noticed something. Perhaps he wouldn't have to charge them. He deactivated his lightsaber and crouched into a concentrative position, accessing the force. He heard a satisfying crashing sound and stood to survey the damage.
He had used the force to push the loose duracrete off the neighboring building's roof. The heavy material had crash landed right on top of the strange men.
Two of them were completely buried; the third was only buried from the chest down. The man grimaced in pain and flicked something on his wrist. Blaster fire rained around Qui-Gon.
Without his Jedi training he would have been dead, but Qui-Gon's reflexes were quick and he easily deflected the fire. It was coming from mounted blaster rifles, set to fire on a trigger. But they had no aim, and with a few easy swipes from that green blade they were nothing more then scrap metal.
Well that explains the heavy fire.
Qui-Gon returned to the waste pile and knelt in front of the conscious man. "You're working for Xanatos?"
He didn't say anything, just kept his dark eyes on Qui-Gon. Now that they were close he could see that the man had a robotic arm. He had dark features, almost resembling a Mandalorian.
"I don't have the time for your loyalty," Qui-Gon said. "My apprentice has been kidnapped, and I need you to tell me what you know."
"Or what Jedi?" the mercenary demanded with a cocky look on his face.
Frustration flooded Qui-Gon. It was always the tough guy routine with these mercenaries.
"I'll pay you for your information," Qui-Gon said through forced calm.
The mercenary let out a pained laugh, which turned into a cough. The weight on his ribs was heavy. "Then I'd be a sell-out. No one would hire me."
Qui-Gon was really losing his calm. "Look," he started. "You're trapped under heavy duracrete that you can't possibly move alone, do you want my help or not?"
The man grimaced, then pressed another button on his robotic arm. He broke into convulsions, and a line of saliva dribbled down his chin. His eyes rolled back into his head and he fell limp on the ground.
The arm was programmed to inject poison into his system, Qui-Gon thought. The things that people in this galaxy do.
The man left a worried feeling inside Qui-Gon. If Xanatos hired these men like I think he did, how many others have been hired? And why? He wants to kill me himself, not with mercenaries. What's going on?
He stood and walked around the camp. He could see clear signs of a recent departure. It seemed that they were only a few days ahead of him. The only thing that worried him were the two different routes. He could see the scorch marks of speeders and swoop bikes heading East, but there were footprints heading North. Once again he felt the wave of frustration.
Xanatos wants me to follow one of these paths, but which one? And which one will actually lead me to Obi-Wan?
Rain began to fall around him. He pulled up his hood and began to walk through the abandoned buildings, hoping for some sign. He found a few leftover weapons that looked new, but nothing else. He sighed and crouched to his haunches, staring at the paths once again. Then something caught his eye. A few feet ahead of the first footprints was a small brown piece, a different shade then the dirt around it. Qui-Gon walked forward and lifted up the piece, immediately recognizing the material. A Jedi cloak.
He returned to the ship to tell the pilot to wait there until he came back with his Padawan.
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Obi-Wan
Rain was pelting the ground roughly, and Obi-Wan was thankful for his hood. The cuffs were getting painful; the rainwater was catching underneath them, making his skin itch.
Tents were being set up out of thermacloth. He had learned the night before that, though the days were muggy, the nights were near freezing. He'd never seen a planet with such drastic weather patterns.
Obi-Wan had been memorizing the landscape and any signs that might help him later when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"I want to talk to you," Xanatos said, leading him to a tent.
Knowing that he really didn't have a choice, Obi-Wan followed without complaint.
The inside of the tent was simple. It had a flap opening on one end, then a floor, a ceiling, and three walls made of thermacloth. Xanatos turned on a glow rod to illuminate the dim tent. The entire atmosphere of the place was a little too eerie for
Obi-Wan. Not just the shadowy lighting, but also the loud patter that the rain made on the temporary roof.
Obi-Wan sat down on the cloth floor, watching Xanatos. After laying the glow rod on the ground and setting a drink in front of Obi-Wan he had turned and stared at the wall, unmoving. The older man had said that he wanted to talk, but he had barely looked at Obi-Wan since they came into the tent.
He swished the liquid in its cup, but didn't drink it. He didn't know what it was, but it was probably alcoholic and he certainly didn't need that kind of influence. It was hard enough being around Xanatos without it.
Several minutes passed, and just when Obi-Wan thought that they were going to spend the night in creepy silence Xanatos turned. The young Jedi was surprised to see that he actually looked amused as well.
"You've got to be the biggest tease I've ever met."
Obi-Wan was taken aback by the statement, and he stared up at Xanatos from his sitting position for a moment after it was spoken.
"I'm not a tease!" He finally said defensively. "You're just moody. It's hard to know what you want."
Xanatos scoffed. "You've lived a sheltered life, but even a Jedi has to know what I want.
Obi-Wan shifted uncomfortably. He couldn't think of a response to that.
"What?" Xanatos smirked. "Is our witty banter over already? Just like Qui-Gon, can't seem to keep up."
This time it was Obi-Wan who smirked. "Qui-Gon could be just as verbose as you if he wanted, he just has more important things to do."
"Like what? Lie and betray?"
Heat rose in Obi-Wan's face. "We've had this conversation before. He did not betray you, or lie to you, you did it that to him."
"You trust him without any reason," Xanatos said sharply. "Everyone has secrets. Dark secrets. Just because you're his apprentice doesn't mean that you know half, or any of his."
"And you do?" Demanded Obi-Wan.
"I don't have to," he waved his hand dismissively. "I know they're there."
"What about you?" Obi-Wan set his untouched drink down. "What are your secrets?"
Xanatos looked surprised for a moment, but he recovered quickly. He lifted an eyebrow. "Are you going to tell me yours?'
"I don't have any."
"But you do," Xanatos smiled. "Even if you didn't before. Tell me, if by some miracle Qui-Gon does save you, what will you tell him when he asks what happened during your kidnapping?"
Obi-Wan stared at him in shock. Tell Qui-Gon? What will I tell Qui-Gon? I can't…
Lifting an eyebrow and smirking, Xanatos continued to stare at the boy. "You see…"
"I left the Jedi order," Obi-Wan interrupted, wanting to say something, anything to get him to stop. I can't think about this now.
"It was years ago," Obi-Wan continued. "That's probably the worst secret I have, though I don't know how much of a secret it is. The Jedi council knows, as do many of the other Jedi."
"Bruck mentioned something about that to me before, you know, you killed him."
Obi-Wan flinched, just as Xanatos knew he would. It was a direct jab into a painful wound that Xanatos had always been able to find ever since that fateful battle between Obi-Wan and Bruck. Bruck Chun had betrayed the Jedi by helping Xanatos infiltrate the temple. Obi-Wan had fought him by the waterfall while the water was turned off. When the water turned on he got out of the way, but Bruck didn't. He hadn't been able to forgive himself for not saving the other boy. He could still hear the cracking sound that Bruck had made when he hit the rocks.
"After all that you've done, you still have to remind me of that," Obi-Wan said, not looking at Xanatos.
The older man finally sat down, directly in front of Obi-Wan. "Why did you leave the order?"
Obi-Wan paused for a moment. "No mocking."
"I won't."
"Qui-Gon and I were on a mission to a planet called Melida/Daan. The Melida and the Daan were locked in a violent Civil War. There was this group of young rebels; they were both Melida and Daan. They were called the 'Young,' but their goal wasn't destruction. It was peace…" Obi-Wan paused, his heart constricting in pain as he remembered. "They believed in their cause so much. They seemed so right."
"And you were swept away," Xanatos said softly. "I guess you and I aren't so different."
Obi-Wan shook his head. "I left the order to help a wounded planet. You left to help yourself, and to seek revenge."
"So you're saying that your choice to betray your master and turn your back on the order that you swore to was completely unselfish?"
"I went back," Obi-Wan argued.
Xanatos smirked. "And of course you were forgiven by the great Qui-Gon Jinn."
"It took time," Obi-Wan defended. "Actually I have you and Bruck to thank for it. The problems you caused at the temple ended up helping Qui-Gon and I to heal."
"Then the attack was a mistake entirely."
Anger trickled through Obi-Wan, but he forced himself to let it go. If I get upset then he wins.
"What about you? What's your secret?" Obi-Wan asked instead.
Xanatos paused, hesitating for a moment.
"I have a son."
Obi-Wan felt his mouth drop open in gaping shock.
With a shrug Xanatos smiled and nodded. "He's young, but he's smart. He's on Telos with his mother."
"His mother?" Obi-Wan asked, feeling a little guilty.
Xanatos shook his head. "Just a woman, other then the child I have no ties to her."
"Obviously I'm surprised," Obi-Wan said. "I would have thought that a father would want to be home, raising and teaching his son. Not engaging in dangerous battles with Jedi for simple revenge."
"My revenge is not simple," Xanatos said sharply. "And my son is not what I hoped for."
"Not what you hoped for? How can you say that?" Obi-Wan demanded.
"When she told me about the pregnancy I had hoped for a child with force sensitivity. I didn't get it."
"So what? You're going to disown him over it?"
"Of course not," snapped Xanatos. "But when I'm around him I have trouble feeling anything other then disappointment, and I think he knows it. It's not fair to him either."
"You could…"
"Why did you return to the order?" Xanatos interrupted.
"What?" Obi-Wan asked. Panic filled him as the memories flooded back. "I thought that we were done talking about that."
"I'd like to know," Xanatos responded simply.
Obi-Wan stared at him blankly. I don't want to share the memory of her with him. Yet I do. I don't think he'd understand. Would he even try?
Can I even tell him no?
"There was this girl," Obi-Wan started. "Her name was Cerasi. She was a member of the Young, the one who showed them to Qui-Gon and I. She was so full of life and energy, and she had these green eyes that seemed to glow with this… light, from inside. After Qui-Gon left we won. We succeeded in stopping the war, the Young were in charge. But a battle between the Melida/Daan adults and the Young was brewing, so Cerasi went to stop it. She hated fighting with all her heart."
He felt his hands start shaking. "She was shot. I still remember the look on her face when it happened. I'll never forget it."
Silence hung in the air before he finally continued.
"I guess I just don't handle death well," He commented bitterly. "They all seem to haunt me. Cerasi, Bruck, and the last mission– I suppose you know that Qui-Gon and I failed our last mission?"
Xanatos nodded. "I knew that something bad had happened."
"It should have been a simple mission. Just protection… but they came so fast… before I even knew what was happening…" Obi-Wan sucked in a shuddering breath. "The queen's daughter was with us. She was 7-years-old. One of the guards was teaching her to play pazaak," Obi-Wan laughed a little. "Can you imagine? What little girl wants to play pazaak? Dejarik was too confusing for her though, so I guess it was the only option…" he knew that he was rambling about nothing, and that Xanatos probably thought that he was an idiot, but he couldn't help it. There was a burning sensation behind his eyes and his thoughts grew muddled. The only thing he could let himself think about was the girl and her pazaak. "When I found her later I… I could barely recognize her through all the blood and…"
He was surprised to feel water on his cheeks.
Ha, he thought bitterly. I'm crying in front of Xanatos. That's like waving a carcass in front of a draigon.
Hoping to be able to stop the flow of tears, he stared hard at the ground, counting the thermacloth fibers. At least, until his vision was blocked by a black cloak.
"Xanatos?" He asked softly as he felt warm arms wrap around him. He responded to the hug and buried his face in Xanatos's shoulder.
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Qui-Gon
Qui-Gon decided against taking a swoop, afraid that its noise would alert Xanatos to his presence. He wanted as much surprise advantage as he could get. He had also decided to travel through the night, though it was difficult to see even with a glow rod.
He looked for more signs as he traveled down the path, but excepting the ordinary muddy footprint or broken twig there were none. He couldn't lose the trail however; Xanatos had not tried to hide the their route. The path itself was man-made, Qui-Gon could easily see where trees had been cut down and removed.
He's put a lot of effort into this…
A low sound interrupted Qui-Gon's thought. It was a mix between a hiss and a growl. Laying his hand on his lightsaber, he slowly turned around and came face to face with the nastiest looking wild cat he'd ever seen.
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Obi-Wan
Eventually Obi-Wan pulled away from Xanatos's warmth.
"I never had you pegged for the type to comfort," Obi-Wan said, staring at the ground.
"I'm not, but watching someone cry is awkward. You pretty much have to do something. It doesn't mean that I feel bad."
Obi-Wan shook his head, still not raising his eyes from the floor. "You always have an excuse."
He felt the tips of warm fingers trail down his jaw line. "Can I kiss you?'
Obi-Wan was surprised for the umpteenth time that night. Not about the question itself, but the fact that Xanatos asked.
"Yes," he said, without fully thinking in his emotionally muddled state.
The friction between their lips sent those familiar chills down Obi-Wan's spine and washed away the mourning that his head was focused on. He felt happy and sick at the same time.
There were no interruptions like before, and every movement seemed to flow naturally. In the back of his mind Obi-Wan knew that he shouldn't be consenting to this, but he didn't want to stop it. He didn't even know if he could. Soon his bare back was pressed against the warm cloth.
Some things about it were less then perfect. The air around them was freezing even in their heated state, and Xanatos's bandage was rough and a little painful against his skin. But there was this bursting feeling in his chest that couldn't be ruined by anything around him. The breathy kisses that fell any place they could reach and the skin-to-skin contact made the exhilarating feeling even worse. He felt like his heart was going to explode.
When it was over Xanatos collapsed beside him. They slept in an entanglement of arms and warmth that Obi-Wan never wanted to leave.
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Staryday: I don't know about all that, but I do what I can. You're only impressed because you haven't read other Star Wars fics, we have some really talented writers in this section. I'm just an amateur. Thanks for the review!
An-angel-in-hell: Ha then you probably LOVED this chapter. I'm glad you like the story. Yeah Obi-Wan is a little emo in the first chapter, but I kind of meant to do that. I really wanted to convey the sadness.
Myfictionalannihilation: Ok I think you're enjoying this fic a little too much! Thanks for reviewing and thanks for agreeing to be my beta.
Rian Sage: Thanks for being such a loyal reader. But who will protect Qui-Gon from the beasts?
A/N: Yeah so I hope that no ones too freaked out by the sex scene. I tried to keep it as non-graphic as possible, and it's more "implied" sex then anything else. But personally I think that sex is a beautiful, natural thing between two people who care for each other so I really wanted it in here. Sorry, but you can't say I didn't warn you (points to top). I even used the word "intense." I'd also like to apologize for something I realized just a few moments ago: Obi-Wan is really emo in this fic. I went through some of my other fanfics and realized that I always make him that way. I don't know why either, it's just this weird thing I do. I'm sorry to anyone that's bothered by that.
Also, this fic is going to have to be looked at as A/U since in it Xanatos tells Obi-Wan that he has a son and in the Jedi Quest series Obi-Wan doesn't know.
Thanks for reading, please review!