Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or Jedi Apprentice, please don't sue me.
Chapter 8Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service
You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault
-Alanis Morisette
Qui-Gon
The village woman's husband turned out to be the village leader. He was not fond of Qui-Gon's idea; he didn't want his people to be connected to that "evil place" in any way.
"I don't think you understand," Qui-Gon shook his head. "If Xanatos is heading to the academy, who knows what he intends to do there. Your people could be in danger."
"We've survived on this planet since before the manufacturers came, and even after their blood drove the beasts insane. One man will not destroy our civilization," the Chief's voice was even and proud.
Frustration set in. Ignorance is one thing, but when you know about danger you should do something to stop it. "Xanatos isn't just one man. He's very dangerous, he nearly destroyed the Jedi temple…"
"This conversation is done," the Chief interrupted. "My son will take you back to your path, but after that your mission is your own."
Qui-Gon sighed. This entire meeting had wasted precious time, and no good had come of it.
I'm going to have to save Obi-Wan by myself.
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Obi-Wan
He needs it, I'm sure. That holocron has to be showing him something. If I remove the holocron, then maybe he won't be able to kill those people.
He watched the men around him set up camp again. He had lost track of the amount of days that he'd been their prisoner. Counting at all was useless; the temple seemed like a lifetime ago. At this point in time, the only thing Obi-Wan could focus on was his hate for Xanatos, and his longing to save those people. Those were the only emotions he would allow himself to think about.
Hate was not the Jedi way, but Obi-Wan felt that he had the right to make an exception.
Xanatos caught his eye, and he recognized the black bag slung over the older man's shoulder. There was no way that the dark Jedi was letting the holocron out of sight. He went into his tent.
A distraction is what I need, thought Obi-Wan. But how?
As if someone was listening to his silent pleas, the most convenient thing in the world happened. One of the guards set his blaster down to help set up a tent, and there was no one guarding Obi-Wan. They all assumed that he was smart enough not to wonder off.
I'll show them, Obi-Wan thought, then stopped. I just insulted myself, but that's not important now.
He moved over to the blaster at an even, casual stride, then glanced around. No one was paying any attention to him. It may be his only chance.
He dropped down and swiftly and seized the blaster along with a handful of rocks and dirt. In a moment he had shoved the blaster's barrel compact with the stuff, and dropped in back where it had been. The mercenaries often fire random shots into the woods to scary off any creatures. With any luck the blaster's laser wouldn't be able to cut through the stuff and end up backfiring. It would probably blow off the hunter's hand, but Obi-Wan wasn't really worried about that.
Moving into the group with the largest amount of men Obi-Wan simultaneously watched Xanatos's tent and the mercenary's blaster. A few of the men around the young Jedi looked at him suspiciously, but never for a long period of time. They just couldn't see how this teenage boy was a threat.
The bounty hunter returned to his blaster, lifting it off the ground and heading towards the camp's edging.
Obi-Wan took a deep breath.
Showtime.
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Qui-Gon
He knew that he would have no problem finding Xanatos, he was hardly covering up his path, but what really frustrated Qui-Gon was the time he lost hoping to recruit people to help him.
The beaten path was just a few feet ahead of him and his guide, the Chief's son.
"I'm sorry that we could not assist you further," the boy sounded genuinely sorry as he watched Qui-Gon walk ahead of him. "My father is stuck in the past."
Without another word the teenager turned and walked from Qui-Gon. He looked calm, but the Jedi could see from his strides that he was angry.
Suddenly the path in front of Qui-Gon looked longer and more ominous then before.
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Obi-Wan
He remained hovering near the group, impatiently watching the mercenary with the damaged blaster circle the camp. His nerves were frayed, and he was afraid of waiting any longer. He might go insane.
Glancing towards Xanatos's tent he saw that the dark Jedi was hovering outside of it, watching the men's progress. For a brief moment their blue eyes connected, but Obi-Wan quickly looked away.
Don't do that, he scolded himself.
A shout interrupted his thoughts, and he looked in its direction. A man was lying on the ground, bleeding from a stub that was once his right hand. Several people went over to investigate, including Xanatos. He looked livid.
Obi-Wan fell back in the crowd, then ducked into Xanatos's tent. He snatched the holocron out of the bag, which seemed to take two hours to open, and ran out of the tent in the first direction he could see. He didn't bother looking back to see if he'd been spotted, nor did he worry about the vibro-cuffs that were still on his hands. His only thought and emotion was a desperate need to get as far away as he could.
Nothing around him seemed tangible. Large plants whacked his face as he ran, and strange creatures and bugs jumped out of his path. The edges of his vision were foggy, giving everything a dreamlike quality.
A surreal dream that he couldn't wake up from.
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Xanatos
Idiot, Xanatos thought as he watched the man shout. Another mercenary was trying to bandage the wound, but the injured man's spastic movements made that impossible.
With a swish of his cloak he turned, not caring about the man's injury. He had feared that Qui-Gon had found them earlier then planned, but it turned out to be just another imbecile who didn't know how to properly use his weapon.
You would think that with all the credits I'm paying them they would at least pretend to know what they're doing.
He returned to his tent, pushing the flap aside. It was only a moment before he saw the contents of his survival pack strewn all over the floor.
"No," he said aloud.
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Obi-Wan
He ran.
Dirt kicked up around him, and bugs flew against his skin, making him itch, but he didn't stop. He knew that he had to get far enough, deep enough into the forest so that if he died no one would ever find the holocron. Especially not lying betrayers.
He turned at random intervals, though strange sounds or creepy animals brought on a few of them. He didn't know how long he had been running before he finally had to stop and breathe.
The sound of his breathing was foreign in his ears. Everything seemed so strange, and for a brief moment he wondered if this is what spice felt like when the addicts took it. He had a feeling of detachment from his body, like he was watching himself in a dream. The knowledge that he would probably be killed if he just stood against that tree for much longer was in his head, but he didn't register it. He wasn't even sure if he cared at all.
Pushing himself away from the tree he tried to ignore the shaking in his legs. He heard voices, and started running again. He wouldn't go back to that camp.
He would rather die.
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Xanatos
How could I let this happen?
I should have known, he may be young but he's still a Jedi. I should have known that he'd try something like this. I should have known…
Xanatos swore under his breath as he followed Obi-Wan's trail through the forest. It was easy enough; the boy obviously chose speed over secrecy. However, in the dense forest the plant life was strong, and many things went back to their rightful place after being pushed to the side. Obi-Wan's trail was already vanishing, and he would have to move fast if he wanted to catch the boy before it was too late.
Picking up speed, Xanatos began jogging down the trail. He avoided gaining too much ground for fear of mistaken a naturally disfigured plant for one that Obi-Wan had made. The last thing he needed was to get off the path.
This is entirely my fault.
"Obi-Wan!" he called, hoping futilely that the Jedi would break and come out.
A few of the smaller animals ran at the sound of Xanatos's voice, but no Jedi. He wasn't all that surprised; he wouldn't have come out either.
He continued on his trek, deciding not to call again. It probably did nothing but make Obi-Wan run faster.
I've already gone several kilometers from the camp, he has to be tired.
A moment after the thought passed Xanatos saw Obi-Wan turn into a group of close-knit trees several yards ahead of him.
He hurried forward and followed him. He could see the Jedi ahead.
"Obi-Wan stop," Xanatos called.
"Why should I?" Obi-Wan demanded, continuing his run.
"You'll die out here," Xanatos quickened his pace to follow.
But Obi-Wan didn't respond, and when Xanatos broke out of the thick tree-patch he was gone.
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Obi-Wan
I wanted more time! I need to hide this thing!
Obi-Wan could barely breath as he ran through the trees. Xanatos had caught up to fast, and he had to get away. Direction mattered even less now then it had before. It wasn't until the ground underneath his feet changed that Obi-Wan realized something was wrong. He was standing on a rickety wooden bridge.
What? He silently asked himself. Who built this bridge?
"Obi-Wan."
The voice pulled him from his thoughts, and he turned to see Xanatos standing at the end of the bridge.
"Come here."
Obi-Wan shook his head. "Not a chance."
Xanatos looked frustrated and annoyed, but Obi-Wan didn't care. He had that, at least, coming to him.
"That bridge isn't safe."
"Neither are you," Obi-Wan snapped, backing up a little. The bridge swayed unevenly, making him nervous. He hadn't noticed the deep ravine under his feet before, but he kept his false bravado up. He yanked the holocron out and held it over the drop. "I'd rather die out here, and even if I go back, your precious artifact won't."
"Then drop it," Xanatos said evenly. "I don't care. Just come back here, off of that thing. Now."
Obi-Wan froze for a minute. More lies and tricks.
"I'm not going to trust you now, not after what's happened," Obi-Wan backed up another step.
Then a splintering sound.
Everything moved in slow motion from his eyes. The bridge gave way from beneath his feet, and even though he grabbed the rope when the bridge hit the wall he shook off, falling.
"Obi-Wan!"
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Obi-Wan
Ow.
Ok, my chest hurts, and my right arm, and my head… What happened? Where am I?
Obi-Wan tried to open his eyes, but the small light illuminating the tent hurt, and he quickly closed them.
"Wha'?" He heard himself say.
"Do you remember the bridge?" this voice was familiar.
"Xanatos?" Obi-Wan opened his eyes again, ignoring the pain. "The bridge…"
He did remember now. It broke away beneath him, into that deep ravine.
"But how did I…?" His voice trailed off.
"Live?" Xanatos sat down next to Obi-Wan. "You grabbed the bridge when it broke, taking you to the wall. There was an outbreak of rock down lower that you luckily fell on. You didn't go all the way to the bottom of the ravine, if you had you would be dead."
Obi-Wan tried to nod, but it just made his head scream in protest.
"You have a scratch near your temple, and you reopened the wound on the back of your neck. Your arm is bruised, but nothing major there. I think that you might have broken a rib, but I can't be for sure out here. I bandaged your chest anyway."
Obi-Wan realized that he no longer had his shirt, and he could see the tight bandage used to keep his ribs from moving, as well as the dark bruises forming under it. He rolled over so he could see Xanatos better. "The holocron… where is it?"
He smirked.
"I guess I wouldn't tell me either."
"You're lucky you're alive."
"No, I'm lucky that you didn't leave me to die."
Xanatos paused for a moment, and then shook his head. "I wouldn't do that."
The Jedi watched him incredulously.
"You really scared me. I don't think that my heart started beating again until I got to the rock outbreak to find you alive."
For some reason, that comment made Obi-Wan angry.
"What is wrong with you?" He demanded.
Xanatos stared at him, as if not understanding what he meant.
"You say one thing, then completely contradict yourself in your very next sentence. No matter what's happening you're never honest. Doesn't that bother you?" Obi-Wan was having trouble breathing, and fatigue began to set in, but he ignored it. "Doesn't it bother you that you're a liar!"
Obi-Wan was shocked out of his thoughts when Xanatos leaned forward and kissed him. Even if he wasn't hurt, Obi-Wan couldn't be sure that he would have tried to push him away.
"I'm so sorry," Xanatos said when he sat back. For once he didn't look like a Sith pretender who had left the Jedi, or like an unstable murderer who cared only for himself. He looked normal. And he looked sad.
"It's alright," Obi-Wan said softly. It wasn't all right, it was far from all right, but he couldn't stand to see that look on Xanatos's face.
"I lied to you. I thought that this was something I could ignore, push away. Especially after what happened. I was hoping that if I ignored you, made you hate me, then I could hate you too."
Obi-Wan soaked up every word. He knew that Xanatos was the last person in the galaxy he should listen to, but at the same time he couldn't not listen, just like he couldn't not want to kiss him or be near him.
Xanatos's cobalt blue eyes looked uncertain as he watched Obi-Wan.
"I wanted to hate you too," Obi-Wan said slowly. "So much. But even after the way you treated me, even after thinking that you had used me, I couldn't. At the time, I didn't even want to go back to the temple; I just wanted to be alone. Completely alone in the forest."
"If you had stayed in that forest you would have died."
"I know that."
Silence hung other them for several minutes.
"You can hate me if you'd like," Xanatos said softly. "I wouldn't blame you. But I want you to know that I didn't plan this, any of this. I never intended to treat you like this. At the start you were just going to be bait to get Qui-Gon here. Honestly, I didn't see much beyond Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon's padawan. It was almost like you weren't even real."
Obi-Wan took a deep breath. "And now?"
"Now… you seem more real then anything else in my life."
Darkness had set outside, and cool air and seeped into the tent, but neither of them noticed.
Is this really happening? Am I imagining all of this?
There was a fist in Obi-Wan's chest, that seemed to be pulling everything inside of him magnetically to that point. It wasn't painful, but it was strong and it made him want to cry. He felt like the fist would let go at any minute and send every emotion spiraling through him, and he wasn't sure what he would do then.
He placed his head in his hands. "Why is this so hard?"
Xanatos smiled, but it was almost a sad smile. "I don't know. I wish that all of these complications were gone, but I don't think that they'll leave anytime soon."
"But neither will these feelings."
"No," Xanatos agreed. "These feelings won't go either."
"I wouldn't want them to."
"…I wouldn't either."
The forest's silent sounds were calming and invigorating at the same time. Obi-Wan leaned forward ignoring the pain, and kissed Xanatos. Xanatos's smell and taste were more calming then any fountains or meditation rooms. Why did the Jedi live without love? How could they give up this?
The moved apart, but only slightly. Obi-Wan could still feel Xanatos's breath on his cheek, and he relished in the warmth.
"What happens tomorrow?" He asked softly.
Worry was in Xanatos's eyes. "I don't know."
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Child of a Pineapple: I didn't mean to traumatize you, I'm sorry! I actually forgot about that cat incident. Of course, I'm sure when the bounty hunter got his hand blown off in this chappie it traumatized you too, but I did that on purpose. Yeah, I feel insanely bad for being mean to Xanatos. Oh well.
Myfictionalannihilation: I hope that you liked this chapter more.
An-angel-in-hell: I hope you liked this update; they'll be more on the holocron later.
Staryday: Thanks for help on the mistakes; I hope you liked the update!
Blockofthewritingkind: Did you ever find anymore Xan/Obi stories? I looked for some too. I hope this update quenched your need a little? I was thinking about writing a one-shot, but don't hold me to it.
A/N: I hope that the end scene wasn't too clichéd, and I also hope that nobodies too annoyed that you didn't get to hear more about the holocron. It comes back in later chappies, maybe even the next one, I promise, and then I'll explain its significance. Please review!