Can't Forget You
By Carrie
Disclaimer: I own nothing
A/N: Thanks for the review, guys! They're awesome and the keep me going!!
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Chapter 2: Is this Friendship?
The clock ticked cruelly slowly as Pam tried to get through yet another day at Dunder Mifflin. The office was slightly more alive with gossip of last night's Diwali drama, but she had little else to keep her occupied. Currently, she was counting how many times Dwight and Angela went to the break room to speak to each other from opposite sides. Only two so far, but it was only—she glanced at her watch and inwardly groaned—10:15.
What was making this day even more painful than others was the fact that Jim had yet to respond to her text. She knew there could be a million reasons why, but she couldn't help but feel anxious.
As if on cue, her cell phone started vibrating across the desk with Jim's name popping up on the LCD. She flipped it open, then, spotting Michael coming out of his office, quickly said "Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam."
"Do you always answer you cell phone like that or just for me?"
She paused for a second as Michael rounded the corner towards the elevators, then laughed softly. "No, sorry. Michael was here and I thought that maybe if I answered 'Dunder Mifflin' he wouldn't notice it was my cell."
"I see. Clever plan there, Beesley."
"Thanks. Luckily, I think he's still a little traumatized from last night," she said, looking for a sign of whether he'd gotten her message.
"Ah, yes. That's the reason I'm calling. I got your text this morning," he said.
"Not until this morning? Late night, Halpert?" she asked, dreading that she wasn't going to like the answer.
He laughed. "Sort of. Do you want the exciting story or the real story?"
"The exciting one, definitely," she chose.
"Well, I was leaving work last night when I heard this child screaming. It was coming across the street so, naturally, I went in search of the wayward lass," Jim began.
"Naturally," Pam quipped, already laughing.
"Yes, so, what do I see when I get over there, but that giant gorilla that escaped from the zoo hovering over this little girl. At first I didn't know what to do, but luckily, my instincts, combined with years of karate training from Dwight allowed me to successfully fight off the beast and save the little girl," he finished.
"Wow, that is a great story. So how did that prevent you from getting my text until this morning?" she asked.
"Well, as you can imagine, everyone wants to talk to the hero. The rest of my night was pretty much filled with interviews, bookings to be on Oprah, offers of riches and loose women – the usual."
Pam laughed loudly and was afraid she was attracting some attention in the office. "Wow. What a night. And I thought mine was eventful."
"Right, so tell me what happened. Are we going to hear wedding bells soon?"
"Unlikely," Pam deadpanned. "Okay, so in a nutshell, after his very public proposal, Carol asked to speak in private and, I guess, said no. Michael then proceeds to try and kiss me and then ask for a ride home so we can play Taxi Cab Confessions," she rattled out, taking a deep breath.
"Michael tried to kiss you?" he asked, stunned.
"Oh yeah. Most uncomfortable moment of my life."
"You're making this up. You're just trying to compete with my gorilla story. No way did Michael Scott try to kiss you."
"I'm not!" she almost shouted. "I'm not making it up. We were just sitting on the steps outside when all of the sudden I look over and see closed eyes and pursed lips coming towards me! I totally freaked out." All she could hear coming from the phone was Jim's throaty laughter. She loved that sound. "You have to believe me. I can't keep reliving it. It was terrible."
More laughter. "Okay, okay, I believe you. Wow. Michael the ladies man. Just fantastic…" he trailed off and she could still hear the smile in his voice.
"Okay, so now that I've told you, I can erase it from my memory forever. Do I get to hear what you were really doing last night?"
"Alright, if you really have to know, when you texted me last night I was most likely passed out on my desk," Jim answered warily.
"You had to work that late?"
Jim chuckled a little. "Sort of. The sales staff had to do order form consolidation last night—I know, awful—so Andy brought a bottle of Jaeger and had us doing shots and well, I didn't handle it so well." Pam laughed. "In fact, after waking up singing Indigo Girls songs, being offered to snuggle in Andy's 'roomy twin' air mattress, and completely wiping out on my bike, I think I can safely say I'm never drinking Jaeger again."
Pam was gasping for breath at this point. "Wait—you're riding a bike?"
"Um, yeah. My boss Josh does it so I thought I'd try," Jim said sheepishly.
Pam laughed. "And on your way to work, do you drop off newspapers for all your neighbors?"
"Ha-ha. You laugh, but you're just jealous. I'm saving money, helping the environment, and next time you see me," Jim lowered his voice, "I'll be all beefy," he teased.
Pam erupted into laughter, but her heart simultaneously sped up a little. She didn't know if it was the possibility of seeing Jim again or the thought of him being "beefy," but she was definitely feeling flushed. The deep timbre of his voice had awakened something in her and she felt a tightening in her stomach that she'd forgotten about.
"Well, uh, you've got me there," she recovered. She heard some commotion in the background and then his voice murmuring to someone she couldn't hear.
Coming back to the phone he said, "Hey Pam, I've got to go to a meeting, watch out for Michael. If he tries anything, let me know so I can come kick his ass."
She laughed, "Okay."
"Unless that's something you'd be interested in? In which case, let me know so I can come kick his ass."
"Wow, you really must be getting beefy with all these threats of ass-kicking."
"Oh you know it. Bye, Beesley."
"Bye, Jim." She hung up the phone and looked over at the break room. She smiled to herself as she saw Dwight and Angela having one of their "talks." She wrote "10:57" and put another check on her post-it labeled "Bobble-ball." She made a mental note to tell Jim about it later.
A good aspect of her job was that it required almost no skill and provided her with ample time to think. This was also a drawback seeing that she tended to over-think things she should just go for. Like Jim.
She really didn't know where she was going with their renewed communication. It felt just like their friendship before, but she felt different. His words didn't mean the same things now that she was single. If this is friendship, she thought, why does it feel so much like flirting? Is this how Jim felt before?
She immediately felt horrible. For who knows how long, he'd been in love with her and she thought she'd treated him as a friend. If he felt anything like she felt right now, it must have been torture, and she didn't even know what she felt. Was this a crush? More? Love? Did his heart speed up every time he heard her voice? Did his stomach bottom out at the thought of seeing her?
Her mind flashed back to every interaction they'd ever had. The shielded glances, inside jokes, softly spoken words, innocent touches. Had she known that there was more lurking under the surface? Feelings that only she'd interpreted as friendship? How could she have been so blind not to see what they were really doing?
She wasn't blind. She'd known what was going on, she'd just chosen to ignore it. She ignored it for years until he made her see what they'd been doing all this time.
A rush of heat ran through her as she thought of their kiss on Casino Night. She could feel his hands on her back, his chest hard under her hands, his lips demanding as they took hers.
She got up from her seat and inconspicuously made her way over to the bathroom. She splashed cool water on her face and stared at her reflection as she dried off.
"What am I doing?" she quietly asked her reflection.
She'd never been this affected by a man before. Especially not just from a phone call and some innocent thoughts. Okay, not so innocent.
She'd known for a long time that she should be with Jim, but after he moved to Stamford, she figured it wasn't meant to be. She'd meet someone else and forget about him. But she hadn't. If anything, she only wanted him more. It wasn't until they'd started talking again that she realized it wasn't just that she should be with Jim, she wanted to be with him.
For so long, she'd been doing things that she should do. When she'd called off the wedding, she'd turned over a new leaf. She was stronger and wiser and would start doing things that would make her happy. Jim would make her happy. She was sure of it.
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