Chapter 5

May 21, 2006
0945 Local

"Hey Unca Harm!"

"Hey what, Jimmy?"

"Where we goin?"

That had been the billionth time since the trip had begun that Jimmy had asked that question.

"We are going to see Uncle Harm's plane. Geesh!" Apparently it hadn't escaped AJ's attention that Jimmy kept repeating himself.

Harm and Mac decided to take the boys for the day to give Bud and Harriet somewhat of a break. Even with the twins, the absence of a preschooler and grade-schooler from the house would make a world of difference. So at six a.m. they showed up at the Roberts home where AJ and Jimmy were buzzing with excitement. It took about twenty minutes into the ride before both fell back to sleep for almost two hours. Of course, that still left two to go. Thank goodness Bud had insisted on them taking the family's mini-van. Harm had put up a token protest, but he had been dreading a four-hour plus ride in that evil piece of machinery Dodge called a car. He hadn't even thought about the advantages of having a DVD player on a long car trip with two small children. You are a genius, Bud J. Roberts.

"Hey An' Mac!"

"Yes Jimmy," Mac replied patiently, giving Harm an amused smile as she turned in her seat to see the children in the back.

"We gonna see a pwane!" They were headed up to Blacksburg to visit with Mattie and Tom and to take the boys for a ride in 'Sarah'. Harm hadn't been up since he left for London. He was supposed to take AJ for his birthday, but it had rained most of the weekend.

"We sure are!" Mac answered back in an equally excited voice. "Do you think you'll want to take a ride in it?" Harm smiled to himself as the conversation about airfields and planes and flying continued. She had a great personality for dealing with kids. She made going to McDonalds for dinner sound like a trip to Disney World.

Harm was thankful that Mac seemed more relaxed today. Yesterday had been horrible, and then last night with the lawyer and the letter from AJ...it hadn't been pretty. By the time Marcia Crosby had left the house, Harm was more than ready to take Mac back to the hotel and put her to bed.

Poor Harriet was still in tears when they left. Mac herself had been quiet and rather withdrawn during the car ride home. She let him reach over to take her hand, but she didn't initiate any other sort of contact, physical or verbal. As soon as they walked into the room, Mac hit the shower. Harm followed her into the bathroom a moment later to brush his teeth. No words were exchanged as they finished their nightly rituals.

Mac was sitting on the bed in a tank top and cotton pants, towel drying her hair when Harm finished his shower. Dressed in drawstring sweatpants with a towel around his bare shoulders, he sat down behind her on the bed. He put his hands on the tops of her arms and softly ran them all the way to her fingertips, forcing the towel down into her lap. Leaning down, he kissed the spot where her neck began to curve up, wet hair tickling his nose.

"Harm?" She let go of the towel and laced her fingers through his. She sounded so young.

He bent himself down further and rested his forehead on her shoulder. "Yeah baby?"

"Can you just hold me tonight?"

He replaced his forehead with his lips, not really kissing, just touching. "I don't know, Colonel," his lips brushed against her skin, grinning slightly, "I think that request might warrant a red light."

Snorting, she elbowed him lightly. Letting go of one of her hands, he twisted around and started pulling down the bed. Then he scooted back, taking her with him, until they were both at the head of the bed ready to crawl under the covers. Spooning together, Harm wrapped both his arms tightly around Mac, pressing his face into her hair. He could feel her back moving against his chest with each breath she took. It was mere minutes before their breaths came in sync and they fell asleep.

There was no heavy talk last night, and there would be none today with the boys around, but Harm knew that there was something weighing heavily on Mac's mind. It didn't take a genius like Bud to figure it out either. She…they…had just lost a baby. It hurt Harm like nothing he'd ever felt. His chest throbbed when he thought about the child he'd created with Mac; a child he'd never get to meet. He could only imagine the pain Mac was going through. The baby that Marcia had told them about the night before was a harsh reminder of that ache.

"Hey Unca Harm!"

"Where did this 'hey' business come from?" Harm wondered out loud, having been yanked back to the present by Jimmy's demand for attention.

"Harriet said he picked it up from some of AJ's friends at the birthday party. She thinks that he thinks it makes him a 'big boy'," Mac chuckled as Jimmy's voice rang through the car again.

"Hey Unca Harm, we gonna see a pwane! An' we gonna eat hambaugas fo suppa!"

"You know young man," Harm teased, looking at Jimmy through the rear view mirror, "it's a very lucky thing that your Aunt Mac is fluent in so many languages, because I just barely understand 'toddler speak'." Jimmy cracked up at his godfather, although Harm was sure the barely three-year old really didn't understand what he'd just said. His laughter probably had more to do with his brother and godmother's giggles than anything else.

"Look!" AJ suddenly became very animated. "Uncle Harm look, is that it?" The boy was bouncing up and down in his seat and pointing to the hanger, which had just come into view.

Harm took a left off the highway and made his way down the gravel road that led to Grace Aviations. "That's the place AJ. And I think..." Harm's eyes did a quick scan of the grounds before they landed on the yellow biplane, pulled out and ready for inspection, "Yup. Look guys, can you see 'Sarah'? She's the big yellow one right out front."

There was silence from the back seat for about ten seconds as the boys looked for the plane. Then, "Yeah I see it! See the plane Jimmy? Wow, it's gynormous!"

Mac cocked an eyebrow and looked over at Harm questioningly. "Gynormous?" she asked quietly. He just shrugged. Where these kids picked this stuff up was beyond him.

Pulling the van around the side of the hanger, Harm parked to the right of the building. He tucked the keys in his jacket pocket and hopped out of the vehicle. Stretching his tall form, he turned to rescue AJ from the child-proof locks keeping him trapped in the back seat. He was grabbing the boys' bags when he heard Mattie's voice.

"Harm!" she screeched in typical teenage fashion. Running over, she threw her arms around his neck allowing him to pick her up a few inches off the ground for a proper hug before depositing her back on the pavement.

"Hey Mattie! How are you? AJ, you remember Mattie right?" He looked down at his godson for confirmation, but AJ had eyes only for the yellow stearman parked a few feet away.

Mattie snorted down at AJ before looking back up at Harm. "Are you sure that kid's not yours?"

"Be nice," he warned playfully, then bounced his finger on the end of her nose a couple of times before she could duck away.

"Hey Mac!" Mattie walked past Harm toward the front of the car where Mac was coming around with Jimmy on her hip, the excited boy pointing to the plane and clapping. They laughed at his youthful exuberance as Mac wrapped her free arm around Mattie in a warm hug.

"How are you Mattie? How's your dad?"

"Everybody's doing great…including Grace Aviations. You wouldn't believe how business is picking up!"

Harm walked over with AJ in tow. "What about school?" Ever the dad, he had to ask the unpleasant questions. As expected this got a less than enthusiastic response from Mattie.

"School's fine," she answered in that bored teenaged, mentally rolling their eyes at you sort of way. "Finals are next week and I am in no danger of failing anything and will definitely be a senior in high school in September, so you have nothing to worry about."

"Unless you count a new boyfriend as something to worry about," Tom Johnson spoke up as he came around the side of the building. Ignoring Mattie's exasperated "Daaaaad," he grabbed Harm's hand in a firm handshake. "How're you doing Harm? London treating you well?"

"Not to bad Tom, but I won't be there much longer. I got an administrative position at the Naval Justice School in San Diego," Harm explained, his eyes lingering on Mac as she followed Mattie over to 'Sarah', the boys running ahead.

"Not to broken up about the transfer I'm guessing," Tom smiled coyly at Harm, who felt suddenly embarrassed at having been caught practically ogling Mac's six in front of Mattie's father.

"So," Harm eagerly changed the subject and he and Tom began following the ladies, "what's this about a new boyfriend? Have you met him? How old is he? I know people who can check him out; you know that, right. Just say the word." Tom laughed again as the two men headed over the rest of the group.

Mattie, who had heard at least most of what Harm was saying, looked pleadingly at Mac. Taking pity on the poor girl, she walked over and wrapped her arm around Harm, steering him toward the plane. "I'm sure that Tom has this boyfriend thing under control. He's probably a very nice boy, right Mattie?"

"He's a great guy, but he's not my boyfriend. We're just, you know," she shrugged one shoulder, "hanging out. For now."

"Hey Unca Harm look! A pwane!" Jimmy was jumping up and down next to his brother and pointing at 'Sarah' excitedly. "Let's rwide it, peease!"

For the next forty-five minutes Harm tinkered with his biplane, the boys glued to his side the entire time. He was patient with questions, and explained to them everything he was doing as well as why it was important. Most was probably lost on Jimmy, but AJ was absolutely enthralled. Of course, Jimmy was just please he was doing big kid things with his Uncle Harm and big brother.

Every now and then Harm would glance over to where Mac and Mattie were sitting, laughing together. He couldn't help but worry that it was at his expense that they were having fun. Thank God his mother wasn't there too. Once, he looked over and caught Mac's eyes. She winked at him, grinning widely, and it was at that moment that he decided that being the butt of some jokes wasn't that steep of a price if it put that smile on his love's face.

Two hours later Harm had taken up AJ by himself, Jimmy on Mac's lap, Mac by herself (after some cajoling), Mattie, then AJ one more time. Afterwards, lunch was set up at a picnic table under the covered patio off the side of the office. Harriet had packed a basket full of enough food to feed the boys, Harm, Mac, Mattie and Tom as well as the two employees working that day. After the boys put away more food than it seemed possible for two young bodies, they were loaded back into the car for the short drive to the Johnson home.

Upon arriving, Mattie took the two boys around to the back yard where an old jungle gym, complete with a tire swing and slide, was set up from Mattie's childhood days. Not having to be asked twice, the boys were all over it in seconds. Mac had mentioned to Harm in the car that she wanted to talk with Tom alone for a few minutes, just to see how he was doing, without Mattie, or Harm for that matter, around to influence his perception of his recovery. In other words, Mac didn't want the sugar-coated version that Harm or Mattie would probably get. So with that in mind, he followed Mattie and the boys to the back of the house as Tom and Mac headed up the front porch steps.

Seating himself next to Mattie on the back porch swing, he kept his eyes on the boys as he said, "Sooo…new boyfriend. What's his name?"

Sighing resignedly, she replied, "His name is Michael and he's not my boyfriend. Not yet at least…there haven't even been any real dates yet. We've gone to the movies a couple of times, but always with other people."

"Did he pay?"

"Yeah, and Mac already told me that that constitutes a date."

Laughing, Harm responded, "Hey, I just wanted to make sure this guy was a gentleman."

"He is Harm, I promise. Dad met him once and even he liked him. Plus, Michael knows I have a second father who's in the Navy and could get him drafted." Mattie giggled at the last part. "At least that's what Dad told him."

"Good man."

Mattie turned sideways in the swing to face Harm, one leg bent at the knee and the other hanging off the seat, pushing them lightly. "I'm sorry about Admiral Chegwidden."

"Thanks sweetheart." Harm leaned over and received quick hug from his one time daughter. When he let go, Mattie returned to facing forward, leaving her head laying on Harm's shoulder and her knee bent up for her arms to rest on. Harm's arm lay across the back of the seat behind her.

"How's Jen doing? She said she was fine on the phone, but I could tell she'd been crying." Mattie huffed lightly. "She never was a good liar, especially for someone who use to do it for a living."

Harm smoothed down the hair on the back of her head affectionately. "She's upset, but she'll be okay. Jen's a tough girl when she needs to be. One of the things you two have in common," he noted with pride, dropping his hand back down behind her. "Some friends managed to get her to go out last night, so that's a good sign."

"What friends? Guy friends? Any of them cute?" Mattie's head came up off Harm's shoulder, suddenly very interested in what he had to tell her.

Thinking of the way Victor Galindez helped Jen on with her coat last night, and how he held the door for her, Harm chuckled a bit. "I plead the fifth. You'll have to ask Jen about that one."

"Party pooper," Mattie pouted, returning her head to its previous spot. They sat silently for a few minutes before Mattie spoke again. "Dad told me about the admiral's dog. I think bringing her here is a great idea. We have plenty of room," Mattie gestured with one hand to the vast amount of property that her house sat on. "It'll be like her place of retirement. Is her name really Damnit?"

"Yeah, it is. That dog managed to find the admiral in the middle of nowhere and lead him back to civilization. AJ probably would have frozen to death if it wasn't for her. She deserves a stable home in a place like this."

"Well, she definitely has one," Mattie said with certainty. She was quiet for a few minutes, then, "Mac told me about his granddaughter."

Harm waited but she didn't say anything else. Finally he asked, "What did she say?"

"Just that she saw a picture of him with her. That he looked really happy…proud." Mattie shifted uncomfortably, like she had something to say, but wasn't sure how to vocalize it.

"Spit it out, kiddo."

"I was just thinking that it's too bad that we can't help that little girl like we're helping Damnit." She was leading up to something, Harm could tell. He waited patiently. When she didn't elaborate, he nudged her with his elbow. "You and your dad wanting to take on a dog and a baby?" he asked jokingly, hoping to get her to open up.

"I was thinking more like you and Mac…."

Harm sputtered, choking on his own breath and dislodging Mattie's head from his shoulder in the process. "What?! Mattie, that's...we can't...that's not an option, Mats."

"Why?"

"Well, I live in a different country for one thing…."

"You're being transferred to California in a month," she fired back.

"We don't have a house yet and Mac's place is barely big enough for the two of us to…."

"Harm, your parents have, like, a mansion practically next door." Oh, she's good.

"Mattie, it's complicated. We're not even officially engaged. I mean, we've never even lived together for any extended period of time," Harm sighed and rubbed his forehead with his fingers. "Honestly, I don't know if I'm meant to be a dad." There, he'd said it. The one thing that had been eating at him since Mac's miscarriage. Maybe fatherhood just wasn't in the cards for him.

"Oh Harm, come off it. Look at those kids in the yard," Mattie made a sweeping motion with her arm in the direction of the jungle gym where AJ and Jimmy were having the time of their lives. "Those two boy worship you…and Mac."

Harm watched the boys chase each other around the perimeter of the play area laughing, their arms out to their sides like the wings of a plane. "Being awesome godparents is a far cry from being real, everyday parents, Mats," he sighed again before looking up abruptly at the young girl. "Did Mac say something to you? About..." he let the thought drift off and waited impatiently for Mattie's answer.

"No, not really, it was more the look she got on her face when she mentioned the baby," Mattie quickly reassured her 'Navy Dad'. "She didn't say anything else after she mentioned the picture, I swear."

Nodding, he turned back toward the boys, who were taking turns going down the slide. He smiled as he watched AJ stand at the bottom of the ladder while Jimmy climbed up the five or six rungs, then shout for his brother to wait until he ran around to the bottom of the slide before giving him the okay to come down. Big brotherhood was certainly beginning to suit AJ.

"Hey Harm," Mattie pulled his attention back to her. "Just for the record, to me, you are a real, everyday and awesome dad. I couldn't have asked for a better one."

Harm felt the telltale prickle of tears beginning to form as he reached over and pulled her against his chest. "Thanks kiddo. You are an awesome daughter."

"I missed you, Harm."

"I missed you too, Mats."

"Harm," she asked into his chest, a playful lilt in her voice.

"Yeah?"

"If you really loved me, you'd tell me about this guy that took Jen out last night..."

TBC