Conflict of Interests

Drabble 29: Art of Grooming

By: Kigen

Unofficially entitled Bedtime Stories of a Crimson Nightmare. HaoLyserg humor this time around. It's been a while since we've had some. Rated R, simply because Hao's a perv.

Disclaimer: I graduate from school this Friday, a certified pharmacy technician with a silver award. If I owned Shaman King, I wouldn't be worrying about finding a job before the end of October. Oh yeah. And Lyserg would have man babies, but that's a given.

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There was one thing that Hao held most sacred.

It was not his power, not his dream, not even Lyserg's ass.

It was his hair.

No one, at all, was allowed to touch it without his permission. At no point in time was anyone ever allowed to touch, pet, run their fingers though, brush, or comb his hair. In fact, the only thing that was permitted, was Lyserg tangling his fingers in it while in the mists of something Hao took great pleasures in.

So now Hao stood, staring at the greatest sin known to man kind.

There was bubble gum. IN. HIS. HAIR.

Hao tried everything he could think of the right this horrible, atrocious wrong.

He tried washing his hair. He tried peanut butter, lemon juice, lighter fluid, ice, and just about everything he could think of.

He also tried to use the lighter fluid on Horo when the idiot suggested he just cut his hair; but Yoh quickly put an end to that.

"Oh for heaven's sake, let me do it." Lyserg came forward, frustrated after watching Hao struggle all day.

Hao looked at the dowser, and hissed at him much in the same way a cat with rabies would; minus the foam of course.

Rolling his eyes, Lyserg grabbed a widely spaced tooth comb, and picked up his glass of water. "Just let me try Hao, or we might really need to cut it."

"Be glad you're a good lay otherwise you would have met the same fate of the Ainu baka."

Lyserg sat back down. "Well if that's the way you feel, I guess you don't mind sleeping downstairs for a while."

Hao cringed. Sleeping downstairs was equal to the horrible fate of sleeping on the couch.

"Fine, fine." Hao relented. "But if you ruin this, I will screw you senseless."

"I don't see how that's a punishment." Ren commented from the other side of the room. He didn't bother to look up from his book. "You're going to do it anyways."

Hao smirked. "But if Lyserg ruins it I'll-"

Lyserg 'spilled' a bit of the ice water onto the fire shaman. "Be quiet or I'll ruin it on purpose."

Hao shut up. How dare Lyserg threaten his precious hair? He sat quietly and as Lyserg slowly worked the comb wet with cold water through his locks; over and over again, on that same spot, until the wad was finally gone.

"There, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Lyserg asked, putting everything away.

Hao examined his hair with a critical eye.

There. Right there.

One of his hairs was a full one third of an inch shorter than the rest.

…

Hao was so screwing Lyserg senseless tonight.

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Next chapter, more sweet, adorable YohLyserg fluff. Look foreword to some more cavities all. Your hint for the next chapter is the phrase, 'enough, but not enough.' Have fun with that.

As for a brief Adult Fan fiction . Net update under my name Chu-leh: a HaoLyserg entitled Learning to Lie; a YohLyserg entitled I'll be Gentle, and YohLyserg/HaoLyserg/ future HaoLysergYoh entitled Stuck in the Middle. A HoroLyserg will be up by the end of the week, title unknown.

Thanks for reading, please review.

Ja manna-san!