1- the absolute crappiness of this chapter. It took forever because I got tired of repeating myself and I can't get into Ami's mind very well to write her section. Overall I'm not pleased with this chapter, but at least it moves things along.
2- my bristly defensiveness about being encouraged to keep writing. Yes I am still busy, but I'm also just generally lazy. I'd like to say again thank you to those who actually read this story and like it enough to ask me to continue. It means a lot.
3- the lack of more chapters than this one. Like I've mentioned, I've got a lot of scenes from future chapters sketched out, the problem becomes getting to those places. I'm trying my best, and maybe before the summer you'll see one or two new chapters but I'm afraid I can't make any promises.
Thank you all again for reading, I hope that you'll forgive this chapter and look forward to the one following! Now back to the story!
wil-chan
Minako
A figure knelt by her sleeping princess's side, lighted only by the starlight coming through the window. Minako laid her head down by her lady's, staring sadly at her sleeping features. The silence stretched, and then;
"Princess..." she sighed. "How our lives change so quickly. I'd forgotten how startling it is when things change. Frightening. Strange.
When you fell under this curse I thought, 'that's it then, I was unable to protect her. My life is forfeit'. We all thought that. But it wasn't true, was it? We go on, watching over you every day just as before. For 300 years we've carried on with our lives just as we had. Only now we don't have to chase after you all the time!" she laughed dryly, pressing the heel of her palm to her forehead.
"I'm sorry, this is no time for dark humor. God, 300 years...it feels like forever, and at the same time, it passed so quickly. I had stopped counting the days; they were all the same. I only marked the passage of time with the changing of the seasons. But now I keep track of every hour. We watch every Earthrise and count the days.
They've been here exactly two weeks. Time seems more acute in their presence...
Men, Serenity. Five of them. From Earth, no less. I have no idea how they came to be here, but Ami says it's not an issue and so I leave it at that. I admit, I was very distrustful of them at the offset. I know, you'd laugh and poke fun at me for it, but can you honestly blame me? They're from the place that was the source of this entire mess...but we let them stay. We couldn't turn them out immediately, especially when one of theirs was badly wounded. What a mess that would have made if we had denied them hospitality; if you were hurt and we couldn't find shelter for you, we'd have an outright fit, I'm sure. Ending in lots of destroyed property and a lot more wounded...I'm just glad we don't have to deal with the mirrored effect.
Their lord was poisoned by the Witch, just like you were. Ami managed to quell the darkness, she says, but he sleeps on. She tells me it's just a matter of time; he needs to heal himself from this point on. She keeps treating him though... I think she might be worried that she didn't do a good enough job. You know how she hates to lose patients.
We've agreed that they'll stay until he's well again, but who knows at this point how long that will take. It makes both parties anxious, to have him in such a state...so much like yours, I feel sorry for them.
Serenity, we let them stay for you. Maybe, maybe one of them can break this curse. It may be a faint hope, we haven't even told them about you yet. We haven't even told them our names yet. We've thrown enough at them already. When they found out they were on the moon, oh, you should have seen their faces Serenity! What kind of stories about us do you think they still have on Earth? Or do you think they have forgotten us entirely? So much can happen in three centuries. So you see, we can't tell them about the curse yet. If they found the sleepers...they would surely be frightened away. We can't break the small amount of trust we've built up, not yet. Please, be patient with us and with them.
I pray that one of them can be your savior. You would like them, I think. It took a while for us to become comfortable in their presence, but having them here makes everything a little brighter. Hope can do that to a person.
I wonder which one it might be...I think you'd really get along with Jadeite. He's tall and handsome— actually, he looks like he could be your brother! Hm, maybe that wouldn't work so well then... Blonde hair, blue eyes, easy smile... his eyes are always laughing, and to watch him with his companions is like watching a puppy with his master; all love and devotion. You would like him, I'm sure. Of course, I do believe Rei would have a heart attack if he ended up being your savior. The two of them are constantly butting heads. Like two stubborn mountain goats, neither can just give up the fight. They've avoided each other as much as possible, but every time they get in the same room, no matter how cordial they try to be...well, you know our flame-child.
You'd probably like Nephrite too, he's a real gentleman. And just as handsome as the rest of them. Very...chocolatey." she laughed. "And we know how much you love food. His words are delicate and warm, and he's made a great effort to help out whenever possible. I think it might be just for something to do, but the offer is there and it's generous of him. He's very good with the horses; Deneb has especially taken to him. I was surprised by that, since usually she only lets Mako handle her, but she's quite fond of him. I think he might be giving her too many treats, but I'll let Makoto rail him about that if she feels it's necessary.
Somehow, I don't see Zoisite as being your savior. Don't get me wrong, he's just as nice as the rest of them, but I wonder if you might find him a bit tedious. He's very scholarly, and spends a lot of time in the library looking up herbs. I think it irks Ami a little, to have her personal space invaded so frequently, but he's very kind about it. He's quieter than the others, but sometimes I catch this glimmer in his eyes that makes me wonder how much he's seeing and not speaking on. He's quite charismatic though, and I enjoy talking to him on occasion. But I wonder if he could give you the love you need...how rude of me, being so judgmental. I'm the goddess of love, for crying out loud. I'll be content to know that any of them could have your love.
Kunzite on the other hand...I would have my doubts if he was your savior. He's far too stiff and proper. He always is very diplomatic in everything he says, and while that's all well and good I wonder if he has any personality at all. He seems to loosen up around his men, but I've honestly never gotten a chance to see much else about him. He keeps a lot to himself, but he's always present at dinner. It's a shame he's so emotionless, as he's probably the most dashing of them all..." she sighed heavily, batting away a daydream before focusing back on the princess. She lowered her gaze and her eyebrows drew together softly, a sad frown marring her features.
"Oh princess, there's so much I wish I could talk to you about. Every time I see you, I ache for times to be like they were. I want you to be well again, no matter what the cost. Is that so selfish of me? I'm afraid my passions might mar my actions. Can you forgive me? For letting things ever get this far...my mind is jumbled. I know not whether I allowed them to stay out of duty or out of...something else. I just don't know anymore."
Minako buried her face in her lady's shoulder, tears smudged on her cheeks. The moments stretched by, both figures unmoving. Finally Minako raised her head and gently stroked the soft silver hair across Serenity's brow.
"I will make things right." She rose, a new determination in her eyes, and left the chamber.
MakotoPrincess! Serenity. You wouldn't believe half of what's happened in the last two weeks even if you were here to know it for yourself. So much has happened. I'm sure Mina's already told you about our gentlemen visitors. I can't even begin to describe how quickly everything has changed around here. They've brought so much hope, I feel now that I can talk to you as I once did, without the weight of your curse on my shoulders. I'm sure that something wonderous will come of this; one of them will wake you, and we can be happy as we once were.
I know, I admit I was exceedingly distrustful of them when they arrived. We all were, Rei especially (and truthfully I don't think she's quite yet comfortable with them, though they've been here two weeks already). I didn't want them here; I didn't want to deal with another man getting in my way, holding me (holding everyone) back. I was annoyed with their presence. It seemed to go against everything I had stood for for so long.
We have always been the guardians. The strong, untouchable women of the planets. There has never been a need for anyone but us. You were all we needed. Our duties to you and our kingdom were all we needed to keep in good faith. We stood for strength, for protection, and valor and goodness, and who knows what else, by the time all the legends were being passed around.
When they came, it was like a final blow. We could not save you, we could not protect you like we should have; we were not strong or untouchable.
But really, they're coming is a blessing. They'll save you. I may not be clairvoyant like Rei, but I can feel it in my gut. Of course, if they try anything tricky, I'll fry their innards for you, but they've been very diplomatic about everything. See, I haven't gone completely soft." She grinned playfully, twining her fingers in silvery soft hair.
"I tell you this in complete honesty, princess. I have faith, like I've never had before. I feel like truly things can be better. And this thought brings me such joy I can hardly sit still. Do you know, I've rearranged my room three times in the last two weeks?
Things have changed so quickly around here. It's frightening. There are more secrets between us than there have been in years. That in itself is sad, but do you realize? Frightfully delicious. I'd forgotten how wonderful it feels to have feelings all to yourself again. To harbor something secret and special in your heart; hope, dreams, wishes...But I trust you Serenity, with my secrets. It's why I'm here now. Ami and I talked a bit about it at the beginning, and Rei has come to me with her own feelings, but neither will tell me completely. I have told them nothing, for myself. But I shall tell you, because it would please you to hear.
I'm being taken in. It's like I'm falling, or flying, or both. I can't stop myself. Part of me hates myself for letting go, for letting myself find them interesting. But the other part revels in it, loves it. Craves it. I personally believe we all do. We've been alone far too long. As good of friends as we are, this is something we've all needed. Don't let anyone else know I feel this way though, promise? This is my secret; my desire. For you, and for us. This is my dream.
I'm ready for things to change. I'm ready to start something new, and fresh. It's been my honor to protect you these past 300 years, but it's our chance! Things can change, you can finally wake up, and we can all return to the lives we knew. Only better, newer, fresher.
Should I be ashamed for feeling this hopeful? After all, we mustn't forget that the Witch is still alive, and reigning. When you awake, we must be ready to crush her immediately, for surely she will come for us again. We have made a successful counter for this long, having her believe you dead, but we will be weak when the kingdoms awake again. So the four of us must be ready. If we can count on the Witch for anything, we can count on her being swift and vengeful. I want to be ready to fight; to protect you properly this time. I make that vow to you.
Ami
Princess, I have a terrible confession to make. I cannot tell anyone what I have done, they wouldn't understand. Well perhaps they would understand, but I don't know if the would forgive me. But I need your forgiveness, your understanding. Please. You mustn't think ill of me, I only do this for you..." she bit back on her words, when the small voice in her head mocked her for the lie. 'For the princess' it mocked, only veils the truth as something you can accept. She bit back on the voice and locked it firmly away. Serenity need not know of her doubts.
"I've done something awful. Am doing something awful. Something I should never have conceived to do, as a healer, as a person. There is no way to dance around this confession, I'm afraid. If I don't just come out and say it, it will be just as awful, so...
I've been poisoning their liege. Well, not poison exactly. I've kept him sedated, kept him from healing-- kept him alive but in limbo. Don't you see though Princess? I've done it for you! If he was well, they would leave and we might never get the chance to save you again. Another three hundred years might pass, or four hundred, or a thousand, and who knows if such an opportunity might present itself again.
I don't like doing this. I feel like I die a little inside each time I administer the drugs to him. I've established a routine by now, but I still feel the guilt each time I walk into the infirmary. I'm filled with this horrible sympathy for the lords.
Every night one of them will go and visit him. I'm shocked by how similar their routine with him is to ours with you. Generally I try to leave them their privacy, but once every three days I must violate their time to do my wickedness. I don't think any of them realize what I'm doing, as we've all played up the fact that we do not want them here. But we do. We need them here. If things are ever going to change, we need their aid.
I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. It feels so wrong. There is so much animosity between us and the men, I don't know how any of it can work out. I can't see the answer! I'm not even sure how to get one of them to fall in love with you, but somehow we must try. We must take this opportunity! We have to try....
I wish I could see the outcome. I wish I knew where things were heading. I don't know how much longer we can stay aloof. Sooner or later they are bound to find out. About my lies, about our deceit, and maybe there will never be hope for things to be fixed. But we have to try, else we have failed doubly so in our roles as your guardians.
I'm sorry, Princess. I'm sorry for everything.
Rei
Serenity." The dark haired one had no other formalities for her liege. The silence stretched until she thought perhaps her lungs would collapse under the pressure. The further pain of not speaking was the only thing that tore the worlds from her mouth without more coherence. "Serenity, I'm so confused! Won't you just wake up and make them go away?
Do you want to know something? When I scryed them-- when the first arrived-- I didn't just see their mindset. I mean, I saw enough of who they are to know that they wouldn't be a threat to you, but...I saw more, Princess. More than I meant to see. I didn't do it on purpose...
It doesn't make any sense. I understand the need to keep them here. We need them for you. That's what we've all agreed upon. I know they will save you. I saw the future, Serenity. We'll be happy again. You'll be awake, the Kingdom will be reborn and we can finally end our long vigil over you. These are all things I'm glad for, believe me! I want nothing more than to see you awake and well again. I want to finally be able to confront the witch and destroy her as she destroyed us.
What concerns me is that in my vision, they don't go away. I might expect the one to save you to stay, but all of them? I don't like where that leads. I trust them enough to save you, and I trust they have no evil motives even if they are from Earth, I still am uncomfortable with their presence. Is it that I am afraid of change? I am afraid of nothing, Serenity, save losing you! So why is it that this vision disturbs me so?
Mako warned me not to fall in love. Can you imagine? Me, in love? Especially with a Terran? I told her she was being ridiculous, but I'm afraid for her. Not just for her, but for all of us. We have been alone for so long, it would be frighteningly easy to make any misstep. Perhaps this is why the vision scares me so—the happiness I saw was greater than what we've had before. Its intensity was overwhelming. Minako's always saying the greatest joy in life is to love. How silly it sounds. I just don't want things to change. I want them to go back to the way they were before this horrible curse came into place. It's not fair to ask us to rearrange ourselves for these men, who have no place here in our world other than to wake you up and restore things to the way they were! Yet the fact that they are here means that already things are changing away from the way they were.
I don't cope well with change, Serenity. You know that. So will you please wake up and make them go away?
Serenity slowly sat up, curling her feet beneath the silky folds of her dress. Endymion noted the soft smile on her lips, and the glistening of her teary eyes.
"Did you rest well?" he finally asked, not knowing what else to say. She blinked away the moisture in her eyes and smiled at him.
"I dreamed."
He faltered a moment. "Dreamed? Not like..."
"No, not like the Dreams here." She sighed contentedly. "I've never dreamt like that before. They were all there, talking to me..."
"Who? Who was talking to you?" he asked.
"My friends."
"You mean those women in the dream who were—"
"Yes. Don't remind me. I heard they're voices, they're real voices. It comforted me. I've never heard them before, though they say they speak to me every night. I heard them, and everything will work out." She leaned forward and clasped his hand between hers. "They will bring us back. And finally there will be no more darkness, only light and stars and the earth in the sky, and everything will be set right..."
Endymion smiled tenderly at her faithful words and squeezed her hands encouragingly. Then his smile faltered slightly. "...Earth?"