Matt
I cradled my head, curled up as tightly as I could. What had I done? I almost killed her! No… I loved Alice, I could remember everything now. The hive, the lab, the streets of Raccoon City. Everything. Even my love for the blonde who hovered by me just then. I couldn't hold back the tears that streamed from my eyes.
As I regained the senses that were literally knocked into me, I listened to Angie and Alice as they spoke quietly. A slight smile came across my face as I looked up to watch the two. She was so good to this child. It's just the way Alice is I guess… Kind, loving, caring… Always looking out for others before herself.
Seeing her cradling the child, telling her everything would be alright triggered memories. How she'd pulled me from under the bench when the hive workers were bursting through the metal wall, the zombies crawled after me; how she desperately tried to save Rain, even though we all knew she was doomed. Even how she'd suggested to cut the wire, throw it across and climb over to save the weakening Caplin. And then… How she'd agreed to fight with Nemesis after the bullet was shot through the wheelchair bound father who only wanted to get his daughter, Angie, from the damned streets of Raccoon City. Then… How she refused to finish me off when she realized what she was doing.
Now, after what I'd done, I wished she would have killed me, eliminated the threat. "Matt" she whispered as the child left.
"Y-you certainly have a way with kids." I tried to joke, but my voice quivered as my body trembled.
She just gave me a smile and reached out to touch me. When her hand touched my arm, I jerked. "Come on, lets get you off the floor." She said, reaching out to touch me again. I only shied away from her touch once more.
"What… what have I done? I could have… I could ha-…" I fought to choke back a sob. I moved my hands from my head to hide my face as tears pried their way from my eyes.
I didn't like her seeing me this way. I felt weak crying like this. Slowly, I felt myself lift. She was still trying to get me off the floor. This time, I let her help me sit up. I was still shaking, fighting the tears. I tried not to think about what I could have done. It was too horrible.
"Shh… It's okay Matt." She assured me as she moved to sit beside me, knowing that she wasn't going to get me to move. "Really, its alright. You were confused…"
"NO! No its not!" I didn't mean to shout, but I did. "I almost killed you! If I hadn't…" I bit my lip and looked away, glaring at the gun on the floor near me. I quickly grabbed it and jumped up. I could have just ended my life there, but a quick glance at Alice made me decide against it. I threw the gun, not knowing the full extent of the strength cursed on me from the T-Virus. Once hitting the wall, the gun broke… Clips and screws went flying in different directions.
I didn't care, I just scowled, watching the pieces roll around. Miraculously, the gun hadn't shot off the chambered rounds. I guess I could be thankful for that.
Alice just sat on the bed behind me, watching silently. There was that long uncomfortable silence in the room… I hated it. I swallowed and looked up at the wall, studying it for no particular reason. I sniffed, whipped my eyes and spoke, voice barely above a quivering whisper. "Sorry…" I apologized, still trying to avoid her gaze.
(AN: Yeah, yeah… So they're out of character a bit… But it doesn't matter! You people LIKE this fic, DON'T you? )
"No" her voice was shaky as well. Was she afraid of me? "I'm the one that should be sorry… None of this would have happened if…" she paused "..If I was stronger back there."
I knew what she meant when she said this. Back in the hive. When we were out, she started to slip into a depression. She really believed that she could have prevented all of it. But it wasn't her fault back then, and none of this that had been happening was her fault either.
I took a seat on the bed beside her, instinctively putting an arm around her shoulders to pull her closer. "Are you alright?" I asked as she sat beside me. The bullet had missed her, but she was still shaken. I examined a small cut on her cheek where the bullet had grazed her skin.
"Why Matt? Why did you…" I watched as her teary eyes looked into mine. I searched those blue whirlpools, hoping for the words.
I had to look away, pulling my arm from around her and resting it on my knee. Both hands gripping the fabric on my legs as I spoke. "I… I couldn't stop myself. Umbrella… they… they did something to me. I wanted to stop. Even when-.. when I was a monster."
"Nemesis…" She whispered.
"Yes, Nemesis. I didn't have any control over my body Alice. I didn't want to hurt you! I DON'T want to hurt you. Because I…" Trailing off, I looked at her wanting to tell her how I felt, but I couldn't find the words. I swallowed, not realizing my mouth was extremely dry.
"What? You… What? I want to know. Please tell me Matt?"
I shook my head. "It's nothing."
With a nod, she looked away, deciding to drop the subject. I guess I'd wanted her to argue, giving me a reason not to tell her. But when she didn't, I felt hurt. Without thinking, I blurted out those three simple words…
"I love you."