Authors Note: Yeah, I'm still stuck on 'A Forgotten Life' , so heres some more (hopefully) funny things.

Disclaimer: Nope! Don't own Final Fantasy or Squaresoft/Enix. If I did, then I would have made sure that there was a FFX-3 and FFXI on the PS2. But, I don't so it will probably never happen.

Chapter 3

As I turned the dressphere off, somehow, I thought 'Diving suit, Diving suit!' and what do you know… it didn't work! I was standing there wearing… a bikini! Me "AAAHHHH! So indecent and cold!"

I turned round and saw that Tidus was staring at me "You changed again! Also, your hairs different." After he said this I checked my reflection in the water that was all around us and saw that he was telling the truth.

"What the fren! Its, its… BLOND!" I start to cry 'I LIKED MY BROWN HAIR!'

Tidus "You know, you look at lot nicer now." I turned around, an evil, angry glare on my face. I took out some scissors from my bag. Tidus "Wha-What are you going to do with them!"

Me "Say bye-bye to your hair!" I start cutting off all of his hair until he is left bald.

Tidus "MY BEAUTIFUL BLOND HAIR! GONE!" Runs/Swims away crying.

Not wanting to have to fall into the water I said "Tidus, you go first."

Tidus just answered "No! You go first; I mean it is ladies first."

Me "No, I insist!"

Tidus "But I insist!"

Me "Tidus, I'll give you my gobstopper sweet if you go first."

Tidus "OK!" Tidus jumps straight into the water, somehow already knowing that the bridge would collapse, but had jumped straight into Geosagno the what's-its-name's mouth.

Geosagno the what's-its-name "Thanks for the snack! Allow, it's a bit too full of blondness."

Me: O.O

I dived in after him and tried to breathe the water 'Cough! Cough! I can't breathe!' dies from drowning. Geosagno fish thingy "FOOOOOOOOD!" Eats my dead body "Plaaugh!" spits it out "Tastes salty!" then goes after Tidus.
Problem is, the rocks still fell at the temple entrance. Noticing this, I shouted "Watch out!" But Tidus just stood there, looking dumbfounded, so, he got squashed by the falling rubble. "Oh well. Guess Yuna won't fall in love with him and won't get hurt when Sin is defeated. ON WITH THE JOURNEY!"
I started to walk away when I heard Tidus call "Hey, how come you know about this place and why are you bossing me around all the time!"

I turned round and answered "Because I am…SORCERESS ULTIMECIA!"

Tidus "What's a sorceress?"

I groaned, "A powerful mage/witch that can easily destroy you!" Tidus runs away in fright of being destroyed, but finds Klikk/sword legs fiend and gets cut to shreds by it.

But being the big ego'd blond that he is, he replied with "I know I'm smart, no need to remind me." This made me roll my eyes 'Ugh, how did Auron put up with this cocky blond guy anyway!'

Auron suddenly appeared out of nowhere "Easy, just threaten to cut off his hair and he'll stop being cocky." Both me and Tidus were like O.O "Where the hell did you just come from!"

Auron sweat dropped, "I was going to get a pizza." We just carried on staring.

"You were going to get PIZZA! While we froze and starved here in this dark temple, you got to go get PIZZA! Tidus lets get him!" We both start chasing Auron, me with my claws, Tidus with his sword. 'Guess Auron's thinking that he shouldn't have given Tidus that sword now!'

It was all silent until "I need food!" Tidus moaned, while his black hole stomach growled. I searched through my bag and found my gobstopper, starting to lick at it. Tidus started to stare at the gobstopper "Hey! Can I have some?"

"Eeewww, like I want your germs on it!" I decided to try and fit it into my mouth to keep it safe from Tidus but ended up getting it painfully trapped and I choked to death.

Tidus "Actually, I don't think I want a gobstopper that kills."

"Uh…Ok." He took the gobstopper uneasily, thinking that it might bite him or something.

"Now, stand still!" I readied myself and swung the sword at the gobstopper, but Tidus moved out of the way.

"Hey, stand still!" I shouted.

"Just don't kill me." I swung the sword again and…killed Tidus by cutting him in half even after what he said.

"OH CRAP! Now there's no main character, and Spira might be doomed to always have Sin…actually Spira might be better without him. Well, BYE Tidus!"

"This here is the famous main character, a dumb blond at times, bottomless stomach and…" I started to laugh hysterically at what I was seeing. "And it seems that he sucks his thumb when he sleeps!"

Tidus then stood up, but seemed to be sleep walking, "Must…eat…brains!"

This started to scare me, "Uh, Tidus? Could you stop acting like a zombie?"

"BRAINS! GRRRAARRWWW!" he leaped for me and I jump out of the way, noticing his eyes were open, but were a grim grey colour.

"AAAAHHH! Tidus is a zombie!" I ran for the hills, which for some reason were Mt. Gagazet, "Uh, hi there!" I waved nervously at the ronso.

Ronso nearest to me, "Lets eat her!" all of the ronso charged towards me.

"That's it! I'm going to the moonflow where I'll be safe." Scenery changes to moonflow.

But I did not notice the shoopuf that was heading straight for me, so I got squashed like a pancake.

Homer Simpson (mysteriously appears) "Hmmmmm! Pancakes!" starts drooling.

"Whoa, deep stuff, but doesn't that mean you…" she had stopped talking, for some strange reason.

"Hello?" I thought that there would be no response, until…

"You will die in seven days!" It was the girl out of the ring!

"I don't think so! How can you get to me when I'm in Spira, you idiot!" The ring girl started to do a strange growl, "I have my ways and now you have only 1 minute to live."

"Oooohh, I'm shaking. HAA HA HA HA HA, yeah right!" The ring girl suddenly appears in front of me, holding a scythe in her hands. "Now you're the grim reaper! Anyway, I'm going to kick your bu…" head gets sliced off.

"Now who's the idiot, idiot!" the ring girl shouted before laughing evilly as she disappeared.

Tidus "Hey, whys your head not on your body Taelea?"

Rikku ignored me and just whacked Tidus in the stomach. She was then coming towards me and I started to slightly panic, but had an idea "There's no need to do that to me, I can fall asleep easily. 1 sheep, 2 sheep, 3, sheeeep, Oooww! That hurt you know and you didn't knock me out" Rikku still tried to punch me in the stomach but like I said, it didn't work. The next thing she tried was hitting me with a frying pan (which came from out of nowhere), which did work, but left a bump on my head and made me lose some of my memory. Because of the memory loss, I had forgotten all about FFX and did not have a clue what the Al Bhed were saying, which in turn, got me killed.

Rikku ignored me and just whacked Tidus in the stomach. She was then coming towards me and I started to slightly panic, but had an idea "There's no need to do that to me, I can fall asleep easily. 1 sheep, 2 sheep, 3 sheep…" half an hour later, "98 sheep, 99 sheep, 100 sheep…" 3 hours later, "998 sheep, 999 sheep, 1000, sheeeep…zzz…zzz."

Rikku "FINALLY, SHE FELL ASLEEP!"

Yes totally random, crazy things...Please review! Just no flames!