A Forgotten Life Outtakes Chapter 4, a final fantasy x fanfic

Authors Note: Ok, so it may take me a bit longer to finish the next chapter. I am VVVVVVERY SORRY! I have been mainly working on 'Out of the game' (will now say O.o.t.G instead, for short), so…PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I thank everyone who has reviewed this outtakes!

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or Squaresoft/Enix. I wish I owned the characters, so that I could annoy some of them and…other stuff, but I DON'T! Also, I don't ownthe 'I am the scary dissembodied voice' line from a funny parody of Kingdom Hearts.

Chapter 4

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Jecht appears, saying "What, didn't you know that I had him neutered."

I stared in shock and disbelief, "Why did you do that… Actually, I probably don't wanna know!"

Jecht just shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know myself. I think I might have been drunk or something, my wife asked me to get the dog neutered, but instead I dragged Tidus to the vets."

Me O.O' "O K…" steps far away in case he is drunk, but also said "You had a dog?"

Well, I guess it's time for plan 'Pain', but before I did it, I got my camcorder out to make sure that I didn't miss another priceless moment. "This is for all the people who hate Tidus and sorry Tidus fans." I had then kicked him in the weakest spot… you know, the one only men have. Tidus started to do lots of beeping noises; you know the ones that they use if you swear, so he kept beeping about whilst hopping on one leg "BEEP! THIS BEEPING HURTS! BEEP, BEEP! BEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" Until the Al Bhed came and shot him for beeping like a broken machina.

"Yeah, he'll work." I didn't want to have to fight the tros/squid fiend and all the annoying piranha.

"Both of you." Rikku said, sounding quite stern. I had to quickly think of an excuse to get out of work. Ping, idea.

"But I'm the master guardian, see, I have the sacred claws." All the Al Bhed gasped in astonishment at the news.

Rikku looked as if she wasn't having any of it though, "You're still going to have to work!"

I shook my head, "Nope!"

"Yes you are!" Rikku replied.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!

"NO!"

"YES!"

This carried on until we decided to beat each other up. "WHOOOO! Cat fight!" We both looked at Tidus, glaring at him for him to either stay out of it and shut up or die. He immediately looked scared and decided to dive into the sea before we followed after him, ready to pound some sense into him.

I then realized that the Al Bhed were starting to crowd around me. 'Of course (mentally hitting my head), machina, guess I can take my headphones out.' They were all shocked when music suddenly came out of the machina. They didn't seem to like this because they shot at the PSP, smashing it into pieces. "HEY! Do you know how much that cost me! Well, I did get a discount…but it was still expensive! So who's going to pay for it?" For some strange reason they understood me and pushed Brother forward, who looked shocked and angry at them.

"Alright, alright," he got what looked like a check book out, "How much was it and who should I write it out to?" I just stood there gob smacked. Brother was speaking English! And he had a check book?

Ten minutes had passed when the silence was interrupted by one of Tidus's famous moans "Hungry!" I started to lick at my gobstopper again, to torment Tidus. Tidus shouted angrily "Greedy!" I stuck my tongue out at this comment, although the gobstopper seemed to have glued itself to my tongue.

"HUH!" I tried pulling it off but it just stayed there, hurting if I pulled it too hard. Tidus was laughing his ass off at my attempts to unglue the gobstopper.

"That's what you get for not sharing!" he shouted, still pointing and laughing at me.

"Bid yoo du dis!" I was trying to say did you do this, but with the gobstopper in the way, it came out like that.

"Yeah! I used super super super super super…" this carried on for ten minutes until he said super for the thousandth time, "super glue." But by this time the glue had amazingly warn off, freeing me from the gobstopper, "What the! How did it come off?"

"Must come off with saliva…anyway; let's talk about my revenge for you!" I grinned evilly at him and a flamethrower appearing in my right hand, brown hair dye in the other, "So which one will it be?"

"Uh duh um…" he looked between the two items, "The, uh, flamethrower?"

Me O.O "What? You want to be burnt rather than lose your blond hair colour?"

"MY BLOND HAIR IS ALL I'VE GOT!" Tidus runs away crying.

Me O.o "ok, definitely weird!"

Ten minutes had passed when the silence was interrupted by one of Tidus's famous moans "Hungry!" Then all of a sudden, "I am the scary disembodied voice! WOOOOOO!"

Tidus is now looking absolutely frightened, crying "Mommy! I don't like the scary voice! It has no body!"

I just whacked him on the head, "Hello? It does have a body! Cause it's just some weirdo hiding behind that crate over there, using a microphone and the ships speakers!"

Tidus looked over there and saw something move before it said, "Do not pay any attention to the, uh…" We were both standing there, looking down at the person who was, DUN DUN DUN…Sarah?

"You really want to be in the story and come to Spira, don't ya!" I asked, staring down at the slightly embarrassed looking Sarah.

She sweat dropped, "Well, yeah! I want to see Seymour of course," An evil grin then formed on her face, "And to tease you about who you like! I could even make the other FFX characters tease you as well and you will never get another moments peace! MWU HA HA HAA!" I was now terrified at the thought of this.

Tidus beamed at her, "Who is it? Anyone I know?"

"Maybe, maybe not! If Abbie doesn't let me be in her story, then I will tell you. But if she does let me be in it, I will only give you a small clue." Sarah replied, still looking evilly at me.

"NOOOOOO! I just wanted a peaceful story…well, excluding all the usual fighting, drama and stuff like that, but…I just don't want you to be spying on me at certain moments in the story!"

Sarah "So that's a yes then!"

I slap my forehead, "UUHHH! Can't this wait till later!"

Sarah "Nope! I want the answer NOW!"

I scratch the back of my head and…run away.

To not offend her, I tried a bit. 'Wow this is grea… AAAHH! Hot, hot, hot! Need water!'

My eyes were watering and flames came out of my mouth, literally!

"Holy Yevon! She's a fiend ya!" Wakka has now suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"AAHHH! A Yevonite!" Rikku screamed, now attacking Wakka with her claw weapons.

Tidus just stares at the fight, -.- "I think I'll stay out of this…and keep away from Abigail or Taelea or whatever her real name is."

"Too spicy?" she giggled. At this moment Tidus starts choking on his own food. Me and Rikku just sit there and watch him choke on his food. He even thinks that we don't know that he's choking so he decides to try and tell us in charade form, mainly by pointing at his throat.

"Do you have anything called popcorn on this ship?" I asked Rikku.

She beamed and grinned, "Sure do!" hands over a box of popcorn. Both eat popcorn and watch Tidus rolling around on the floor until he eventually died.

Me "Now how are we supposed to be entertained!"

"Taelea… what the!" I couldn't believe I had just done it again.

"What's wrong?" Rikku asked, concerned.

I looked over to her and told her the answer "I don't know why I keep calling myself Taelea when I'm called Abigail. It's just automatically coming out of my mouth!"

"It's just the…" Rikku waited for a moment expecting something to happen, "ARGH! Where is Sin! He should be here by now for the sacrifices!"

Both me and Tidus stared in fright at the word 'sacrifice', "Um, you don't mean your gonna sacrifice us, do you?" I asked as calmly as I possibly could in that situation.

Rikku "Well that was the plan! But now it isn't even coming…" the boat then shook, "FINALLY! Well, gotta sacrifice you now to get a mansion for every Al Bhed!" Rikku exclaimed, before shoving both of us overboard and being swallowed by Sin.

Sin/Jecht "Thanks for the grub kid! But, uh… I LIED! See ya, looser!"

Rikku T.T "Great! Now I lost a hot guy and a mansion!"

After what seemed like half an hour, I had a strange dream. I was in the middle of what seemed like…my school? "Miss Abigail Horn! You have failed all your GCSEs!" A teacher from my school shouted right behind me, scaring the hell out of me.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-" I cried out and carried on for another ten minutes until the dream ended, "OOO! Oh, it was only a dream. Now where am I?" seeing that my surrounding area looked like a corridor in an old house or even a mansion. 'It's quite. TOO quite!' I thought, before turning my head to see the door behind me creak open. It slowly revealed just an empty corridor, "Ok! This is really creeping me out now!" all of a sudden, a creature leapt out from the ceiling of the next corridor. I screamed before it dived at me and started to eat away at my flesh, with me dying from loss of blood (This is a zombie if you didn't know).

I might carry on a little bit more on outtakes for chapter 4…when more ideas pop into my head. Please review! Don't mind mild flames!