Authors note: Ok, since I'm kinda banned from a certain game on computer, I decided to type up another chapter of AFL outtakes. Yes I know its been ages since I've put ANYTHING up on Fanfiction, but I have had problems getting back into a story typing mood and have to concentrate mainly on my Mock GCSEs and coursework…so I am very sorry. I have also typed this up as a way to try to mostly forget something that's happened over a weekend and cheer myself up. I'm also sorry but do not get your hopes up for anything else for a while…maybe…

Disclaimer: Still I don't own the wealthy Squaresoft/Enix company, Final Fantasy or any of its characters. If I did I would not be so depressed from said weekend thing. I don't own any companies, games, movies or TV shows!

Chapter 5; part 1

After more chuckles from the two blitzball players, we eventually met up with the nuisances, Gatta and Luzzo. Before they said anything (or before we said anything) they started to do a salute. I recognized that salute straight away 'What the fren! That's smeg head, Rimmer's salute!' O.O

But after a second attempt at the salute, they had knocked themselves out.

"Um, do they always do that?" Tidus asked starting to poke one of them with a stick.

Wakka sighed "Yep, it's another tradition to remember the past fallen crusaders."

"Right…well I still think it's a dangerous salute, so…lets just go to the village now!" the other two agreeing and left Luzzo and Gatta to be eaten by local coyotes.

"Remember kids; don't do a Rimmer salute unless you are a professional Rimmer." I said, as if saying this to an audience.

Wakka looked over at Tidus, "I'm really starting to believe your idea that shes a looney and maybe her not being the master guardian at all."

"Agreed…but what's a master guardian?" Tidus asked dumbly; whilst Wakka sweat dropped and walked off to the village.

"Hey you didn't answer my question!" Tidus called before mysteriously getting killed (looks around with shifty eyes).

As I walked towards the village though, I noticed that they were following me "Yo, stop stalking me!" I shouted, trying to scare them off.

Luzzo just pointed in astonishment at me "But…we are the perverted crusaders and so we must touch the ass of every new comer to Besaid Island. It's in strict Crusader law." He said.

My draw dropped, "WHAT! I DON'T THINK SO!" and slapped both of their faces, with a finishing blow to their private parts.

Wakka stared in disbelief, "I can't believe you just did that ya! Defiling their own set of rules!"

Tidus was grinning to himself, "hey, is there anyway I can become a perverted Crusader?"

Wakka pointed over to a queue full of men that looked a mile long, "Just stand in line and fill in the sheet at the table where the line leads to."

Tidus had already joined the queue, whilst holding a sleeping bag in one hand and a bag full of junk food in the other.

I sweat dropped "Why do males have to be such perverts…"

As I walked towards the village though, I noticed that they were following me "Yo, stop stalking me!" I shouted, trying to scare them off.

Luzzo just pointed in astonishment at my bag "But, you have the sacred claws in your bag. That means you're the… master guardian!"

I rolled my eyes, "No, it means I stole them from the master guardian and wish to sell it for lots of gill…HELLO, OF COURSE IM THE MASTER GUARDIAN!" I shouted sarcastically.

The two crusaders looked at each other and Wakka looked absolutely shocked. Luzzo and Gatta now looked seriously at me, "We have no other choice but to take back the master guardian's weapons and deliver them back to the master guardian." Gatta said.

The two of them had started to walk towards, "Hey! Couldn't you tell I was being sarcastic? I really am the master guardian!" stepping back away from them.

"I can't believe you tried to impersonate the great master guardian…YOU MUST BE BURNT TO THE STAKE, YA!" Wakka called out, with a flaming torch in his hand suddenly.

I looked between the three of them and forced myself to think of a solution, "But…he made me take them!" I shouted, pointing towards Tidus.

"Then we shall burn him!" Wakka bellowed.

"Uh oh!" Tidus quickly said before running off for the hills again whilst being chased by a mob carrying pitchforks and flaming torches.

"Ok…now what do I do?" I asked myself before looking for something to do.

I was finally left alone, sitting under a shady tree "Neeeed… sugar!" I guess it was… 'Gobstopper to the rescue!' time…or so I thought, "NOOOOO! Where's my gobstopper gone!" I then started to search through the whole of my bag for it. I soon started to rush everywhere, looking high and low for it, even in the chamber of the fayth.

"I miss my jaw breaker…" and I start to cry.

In some other secret area: "Yes! I have the great, almighty gobstopper! Now I will feast on its delicious sugary delights!" A blond headed, starving, blitzer exclaimed as they bit into the gobstopper…but had forgotten the second name for said sweet…Jawbreaker.

Immediately, his teeth broke in a millisecond, "Nooooo! My perfect white teeth! Curse this gobstopper!" he threw said gobstopper at the floor, but it was made of rock and had bounced back to hit Tidus squarely in the forehead, knocking him out cold.

"Mwu ha haa! My slow but deadly plan is going well. Soon I will have made everyone either a crying wreck or knocked out toothless as I, THE SUPER GOBSTOPPER OF DOOM (!) shall take over this world! MWU HA HA HAAAAA!"

Wakka had stepped into the secret area, which was a cave and quickly decided to slowly walk back out to get some medication for what he had seen.

"Why didn't you tell me you were the master guardian?! I am sooooo sorry for before your ladyship, please… forgive me!" Wakka actually got on his hands and knees when he asked to be forgiven.

I thought about this and came up with an idea "Only if you start to act like a chicken… chocobo."

My request was fulfilled…but to a more exact quality, "Kweh! Kweh! Kwe-Kweh! Kweeeh!" Wakka squawked whilst…cleaning at his feathers?

"What the heck happened to him!" Tidus called out, gawping at Wakka's transformation into a real chocobo…except it still carried the orange hair….feather trait.

I sweat dropped, "I'm guessing he really wanted to be forgiven," But I had then had a stroke of genius, "well anyway, at least we got fast transportation to get to places on the journey!"

"Yay! No more walking! But…what is our journey?" Tidus asked whilst scratching the back of his head.

I just sighed "Never mind, just look after chocobo Wakka, ok Tidus?"

Tidus nodded his head and went to feed the new chocobo guardian.

Wakka then decided to try and help by saying "Why don't ya head for the temple over ther…"

"I already know where it is, no need to worry." I interrupted Wakka's directions.

But after both me and Tidus turned to run off to the temple, something had hit the back of both of our heads…something round and blue.

"Hah! That's what you get for not letting me tell you where everything is! I AM the best tour guide of Besaid EVER!" Wakka exclaimed at our two unconscious bodies.

Wakka then decided to try and help by saying "Why don't ya head for the temple over ther…"

"I already know where it is, no need to worry." I interrupted Wakka's directions.

Five hours later: "I'm hungry still…I thought you knew where the temple was?" Tidus moaned, when the next second he collapsed to the floor.

"I'm sure it wasn't this far off in the game…I mean, I even saw it in the village, but now…HOW THE HECK DID WE GET TO KILIKA!" I screamed, about to rip my hair out.

Me and Tidus started to run off, heading for the temple while leaving Wakka behind. We finally got to the doors and entered the dark and, sort of, gloomy temple.

Play Makou Reactor, FFVII

"What the fren? NOW HOW DID WE GET INTO A MAKO REACTOR!" I screamed…again, banging my head on a nearby wall.

"What the? This never used to be here!" Wakka shouted, looking in disgrace at all the machina/machines.

Tidus had then started to point towards somewhere, "Um, who are those guys?" he asked, as if everything was still at least semi-normal.

I stopped myself just before I got a headache and followed in the direction, "What!" I shouted, staring at who the people were.

"Hey, could you guys give us a hand with this? Somebody (!) can't seem to press the unlock button at the same time as us!" it had been Tifa saying this and she was glaring at someone who was easily recognised as Cloud.

"Its not my fault, I'm just an ex-SOLDIER, not a puzzle solver." Cloud had argued back.

I sighed "Fine, maybe then we can get back to the temple."

Tidus had started to chat to Cloud about who had the blonder hair…Tidus knew he would get beaten with who would have the crazier hairstyle.

I decided to first check one of the rooms at the side of the staircase, to see if there was anybody who could answer my questions. As I walked in, I saw someone, but got a surprise at who the 'someone' was "Whoa! …Yoda? What the fren?" I said, looking in confusion at the short green jedi.

"Yoda, I am. Answers, you seek." He said.

I raised an eyebrow "Right…I think I'll go back to the right place now, namely 'Besaid temple set'…bye!" I quickly said before going back to the doorway.

"Hmph! Fan of Star Wars, you aren't!" Yoda grumbled.

The door to the room at that point started to talk, "I'm the left side door of Besaid Island temple door! You should really know that by now! I am SO offended now!"

Both of us stared in disbelief (O.O).

"Did that…door just…talk?" I asked, my brain destroying itself at this phenomenon.

"OF COURSE I TALKED! BUT SINCE YOUR SO RUDE, YOU SHALL NOW DIE!" the door screeched back before shooting millions of splinters at the both of us.

"How do you like it now, you non wooden beings!" the door shouted before suddenly burning up in flames and turning into ashes.

Wakka was stood there with flaming torch in his hand "I always hated that door…"

"Can… can I have your autograph?!" Lulu asked me, somewhat nervous like.

This scared me 'Whoa! That was unexpected!'

The next moment, a whole hoard of people rushed through the door, trampling over Wakka, "Help…ya…"

"WE WANT YOUR AUTOGRAPH TOO!" the new mob of people shouted in a chorus.

"Um…ok?" I merely said but caused them all to scream and rush over to me, "AHHHH! NOOO! NOT ALL AT ONCE!" yet it was too late. I now suffered the same fate as Wakka and had been flattened to a pancake with footprints in it.

"NO! NOW NONE OF US CAN GET AN AUTOGRAPH! YOU FOLLS SHALL DIE!" Lulu yelled, before sending a blast of lightning at the mob, to burn them to a crisp.

Random crowd person 34 "I think…I'm still alive…" Lulu soon took care of him though with a demi….even though she shouldn't have that spell yet.

I handed the autograph to Lulu "Thank you!" she giggled slightly like a school girl. 'What the heck! Has someone replaced Lulu, cause this is not her!'

The next moment, Lulu seemed to have sparks coming out of the sides of her head and then her head sped round 360 degrees…five times! This was until she exploded into many mechanical parts.

"Um…" not able to say anything else at the sight.

"AHHHH! LU'S A MACHINA! NO!" Wakka cried out, to then run into the wall with his shock.

A random scientist guy had then run into the room, "I guess my Lulu version2 was unsuccessful, I guess I'll have to bring back the original," he then picked up what was left of the robotic Lulu's head, "my poor baby…blown to smithereens…"

I raised an eyebrow to this, "Ok, you don't see that everyday…"

I suddenly had a vision thing, but it was all dark, I could only hear the familiar girls' voice, which sounded a bit older "NO!...You made me drop my ice-cream!"

'Huh?' I just thought and soon saw my past self now beating up a random person, with what seemed to be the remains of the ice-cream on the floor.

'So…what does this have to do with a promise' I thought whilst I sweat dropped.

Ok, if you had not noticed, I was kind of sleepy when I finished this off (reason for some of the more crazy outtakes) and decided to make it yet again another two part lot of outtakes for one chapter. So hopefully I'll get the next half of outtakes for Chapter 5 of AFL soon, as I have the ideas, hopefully the time and hopefully the computer still to type them up with. Please review nicely! n.n NO FLAMERS! Unless you want a death wish n.n.