Knockin'

The lights were still on in her house. If they had been off he would have just turned around and gone home but the house was well lit. Crap, maybe she was waiting for Shanahan to arrive. Screw it, if so he'd just wait with her. And so Jack turned off the engine, the last bits of a song echoing in his mind.

'That long black cloud is comin' down
Feels like I'm knockin' on heaven's door'

A bit overdramatic perhaps but he was feeling a tad apprehensive. The sight that greeted him at the door was Samantha Carter in a robe with eyes redden from tears. But he was greeted with a smile and then a look of concern when she saw his rather grim face.

"Is there something wrong at the base?"

"No, no I… I'm sorry… am I…you okay? I shouldn't have left you here all alone."

"I'm okay…really, come on in."

The living room table was littered with family albums.

"Maybe you can help me. I'm trying to get together some pictures of Dad. I think I would be nice for people who only knew a small part of his life to see the whole person."

"Sounds like a great idea."

And so began a night of reminiscing about Jacob Carter - the father, the military man, the grandfather, the dying cancer victim, and the Tok'ra.

Neither Sam nor Jack had any supper so he made grilled cheese sandwiches while she made a pot of tea.

The album were in a rather haphazard heap and the first one they looked at was the most recent with some loose photos. Here were photos of the Tok'ra Selmak but only a few would ever know.

"I know Selmak changed my father but do you think my dad changed Selmak?"

"Of course he did. Why do you think the Tok'ra distanced themselves from him as well as us? He threatened to make the arrogant bastards a little more human. Jacob was a good man."

"You changed Kanan."

O'Neill bristled. He got up and began to pace.

"Yeah and look where it got me."

Calmly, gently she said "Without him you would have died."

"And with him… more times than I can count. When he abandoned me I prayed some Jaffa had stepped on the snake and squeezed the life out of him, just stomped him into paste.
Let's not talk about this."

"I'm glad he saved your life. Without you Anubis would have taken over the galaxy and annihilated us."

"Daniel could have done it."

"Maybe… and if so, now we would be swarming with replicators." She stood facing him and giving his hand a gentle squeeze she said "And I said 'I was glad he saved your life'."

The agitation left him as he finally got the message. He turned on the radio and immediately tuned it to a classical station looking for something soothing. Returning to the couch and the pile of photographs he could see Jacob Carter with his protective arm around Sam looking out at them as they struggled to get a grip on their lives.

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Bob Dylan – Knockin' On Heavens Door