The "Why You Should and Shouldn't" Story.
Why you shouldn't go into Raven's room.
"Yo Rob?" Cyborg called
"Yeah Cy?" Robin replied, pulling his head away from the newspaper he was reading
"Have you seen BB? Him and I were supposed to play Ultimate Smash People today, but I can't find the little grass stain." Cyborg responded
"No, not really. I mean I did see him talking with Starfire earlier. I think they were near Raven's room. But I was sorta busy so I don't know what they were talking about." Robin told him
"Guess B tried to get in on their meditation or something." Cyborg surmised
Robin simply shrugged his shoulders and returned to his newspaper. Cyborg left his friend to search for his other friend. Scanning the halls for the life-signs of BeastBoy he eventually found a reading coming from Raven's room. A little hesitant to disturb her, he thought about just leaving and look forBeastBoy somewhere else. But he was curious on why Raven, Raven of all people would let someone like BeastBoy into her room. So he knocked, rather loudly. Inside he could here a series of voices and shuffling. Then the door opened to reveal a hooded and annoyed Raven.
"What?" she asked in her trademark monotone
"Uh...you seen BB around?" Cyborg asked
"What, am I his keeper?" she asked sarcastically
"Just wondering. Got a reading that BB was in here." he replied
"Well he's not, now please leave." he ushered
"Alright Rae, I'll just look for him somewhere...who is that?" he asked, pointing to a wiggling figure on the ground.
Whoever it was, was tied up with rope, had a gag in his mouth, and was wiggling around frantically. Upon closer examination the green hair and green skin gave way to who it was.
"BeastBoy?" he pondered
The alleged shape-shifter turned to his robotic companion and muttered frantically, trying in a desperate attempt to get Cyborg to help him.
"Rae, why's BeastBoy on the floor tied up...and why is Star holding a bowl of her pudding above him?" Cyborg asked, half-accusingly and half-stupefied
"The less you know the better off you'll be. Now bye." she replied
Cyborg stared at Raven, then at Starfire, and then at BeastBoy. Then he repeated the process once more before saying...
"You know what, I really don't want to know what ya'll are doing. So I'm gonna leave."
"Smart decision." Raven replied
BeastBoy on the other hand didn't think it was such a hot idea and wiggled around even more frantically and managed to hack out the gag.
"Wait Cy! Don't leave! HELP ME!" he blurted out, but it was too late...far too late, for the door closed.
The last thing Cyborg heard before disappearing down the hall was...
"NO! HAVE MERCY! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Why you should have a mutant moth as a pet.
"Oh friend BeastBoy, I would like you to taste my newest pudding, the Pudding of Tanginess." came an overly cheerful Starfire
BeastBoy gave Starfire a look.
"Okay...what's in it?" he asked hesitantly
"Oh, there is the lemons, the sugar, the mustard, and many other sweet and sour ingredients all mixed into a tangy recipe that ignites your tastes buds. It would be most pleasant if you were to try some. Robin did, but when I asked him how it was he did not speak. He must have been so full of joy that he could not, though his face was as you say 'scrunched up'. Then he ran to the room for baths. Strange?" she replied, rubbing her chin
BeastBoy went rigid. There was no way he was going to taste that stuff. He looked around for anything that would diffuse the conversation, but found none.
"So, you will try it?" Starfire asked, hope brimming from her eyes.
BeastBoy pulled on his collar and started to sweat.
"Dude! What am I gonna do?" he thought
Then he felt something pushing against his leg. Looking down he saw a familiar mutant insect. And by the looks of it, it looked hungry. A sly grin spreaded across his face as a devious plan formed in his head.
"Sure Star. I'd love to try some." he replied, smiling innocently
"Oh thank you friend! You have made me most glad!" she responded gleefully
"Okay Star let me have it." he asked, holding out his hands
"Okay."
She placed the bowl of pudding into his awaiting hands and watched with mirth as he dug his spoon into the pudding. Slowly he brought the spoon to his mouth and nearly placed it into his mouth, but he quickly blurted out...
"Dude? What's that?"
"Where?" Starfire asked, turning quickly in the opposite direction.
While she was distracted BeastBoy shoveled in the yellow looking substance into Silky's mouth before standing up straight; just as Starfire returned her gaze to the green shape-shifter.
"I did not see anything friend. What was it that you saw?" she asked
"Guess it was nothing. Hey look Star, all gone." he said, showing her the empty bowl
"Oh my, BeastBoy. You must have been famished. Would you like a second helping?" she asked
"Uh...no...I'm fine. I think I'll just sleep off this big meal." he replied, rubbing his belly and heading off
When he was clear of Starfire he pumped his hand in the air, exuberant over his victory. Meanwhile; back in the common room, Starfire was gently stroking Silky and talking to her strange pet.
"I hope friend BeastBoy has a pleasant slumber. The Zorka Berries I included in my pudding makes it very hard for a person to rest."
Why you should know what's in Starfire's pudding
We find Cyborg, the lean mean teen fighting machine busily working on his T-car (once again). His constant prodding of probing of his beloved 'baby' shows his dedication (obsession) to perfectness. While working on his car a certain mutant moth wanders into the garage. And for some reason he was shaking rather strangely. Cyborg wheels himself from under his car, content on a job well done. While wiping the oil stains on his face he notices Silky making his way over to him.
"Hey Silk, how's it hanging?" he asks
Silky gurgles a response and smiles lopsided. Cyborg chuckles at the mutant moth's strange behavior and pets him. However as he pets him he begins to shake a little more violently.
"Yo Silk, what's up?" Cyborg asks
Silky opens his mouth and...
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" shrieks a certain half metal man
If on command the other Titans assemble in the garage to view a very strange sight. Standing over Cyborg was Silky, jumbo size, and apparently eating Cyborg's arms.
"My little bumgorf, you are not little anymore!" comes a shocked Starfire
"He ate my arms!" cried Cyborg
The situation was oddly familiar and equally weird.
"Okay, can someone tell me how this happened, again?" Robin asked, exasperated
"I do not know Robin. He should only mutate further when he has ingested Zorka Berries. However, I have not fed him any, and the only thing I have used them in is my new...pudding?" she replied, then turned to BeastBoy, a suspicious look in her eyes
"BeastBoy? By any chance did you feed Silky any of my pudding?" she asked warily
"What...me...no..." he replied, looking around nervously
Starfire glared at him.
"Well I guess we know who fed him the Zorka Berries." came Raven
"IF I HAVE ARMS I'D STRANGLE YOU BEASTBOY!" bellowed Cyborg
Why you shouldn't make Raven angry while she is holding a weapon
"Okay Titans." came Robin "Today we'll be going over the fire safety routine." he said
Robin being the leader thought it was necessary to go over different safety precautions in the tower ever so often, and today happened to be fire safety. As usual Starfire was completely attentive at review of fire safety. However the other Titans could care less. Cyborg knew the routine by heart, and circuits. Sometimes having half a robotic brain can come in handy. Raven knew the routine as well so she thought it was pointless to go over it again. She swore Robin loved to toot his own horn sometimes. And BeastBoy had other plans: like lying around lazily all day, playing a few games with Cyborg, eat, eat some more, sleep, eat, sleep again, and so forth. So it was safe to say that Robin was really only speaking to one of the Titans.
"Now if you are on fire the first thing you do is?" Robin asked
Starfire instantly put her hand up and said "You do the stopping, dropping, and rolling."
And to prove that her answer was correct she did exactly what she said.
"Uh...good job Star." Robin replied, somewhat distraught as he watched her roll around on the ground.
"Now if we could only get BeastBoy to roll over." came Raven from behind
The affirmed changeling overheard that and shot the empath a glare.
"Thanks Star for...the demonstration." Robin replied, hoping to end the strange display
"You are welcome Robin." she replied, standing on her own two feet
"Now Titans, should there be a fire in your room, and you can't open your door what would you use to get it open?" he asked
"I would use my alien strength to knock the stuck door down and escape." Starfire replied
"But the door is too hot Star, you'd burn yourself doing that." Robin replied matter-of-factly
"Oh..." she thought the question over "Then I shall use my Starbolts to blast the door down and escape." she replied, hoping that, that would be a sufficient answer
"Well, I guess that's correct..." Robin began
"Did I not answer correctly?" Starfire asked
"No...not exactly. Sure, using your Starbolts would be a great idea, but let's say that you can't use your powers. Then what would you do?"
"But Robin, why would my powers not work? I would not be confused during a blaze." she asked
"I know, I'm just saying if your powers weren't working for some reason, then what would you do?" he asked with emphasis
"Oh...I would..." she began to ponder, searching through her mind for the answer.
At first it was kinda blurry, but as she thought harder the object in question began to take form. It had a wooden handle, long curved wedge blade, and to a normal human, exceptionally heavy.
"I would use...the axe!" she exclaimed
"Right Star!" he replied, pleased that someone was listening. Then turning to Cyborg he asked "Did you bring the axe?"
"Huh...what...oh sure." he replied, snapping out of his daze
Reaching over in a cabinet nearby he produced the axe, which looked a lot more hi-tech than any normal axe.
"I'd like to introduce ya'll to the T-Axe!" he said triumphantly (Now who didn't see that one coming?)
"Now who didn't see that one coming?" Raven said dryly (Is there an echo in here?)
Cyborg ignored that comment, much too proud to about his new gadget to care.
"This baby has 42 different functions. It can drill, shovel, wipe, scrub, bang, pick, wax, beat, stir, hit, etc. Shoot, if I gave it teeth then it would eat. This baby can do it all." he explained, brimming with the fondness of a mother hen.
"Can it hack?" Robin asked
"What?" Cyborg asked, suddenly perplexed by the simple question
"You know, hack? That is what an axe is designed for." Raven replied
"Oh, yeah." Cyborg replied
"Okay then, who would like to demonstrate how to properly us the axe on this simulation door we have set up?" Robin asked
BeastBoy was about to raise his hand. He wanted more than anything at the moment to use such a cool and dangerous gadget
"...Except for BeastBoy." Robin finished
BeastBoy's dreams were dashed abruptly
"Aww man." he mumbled
Robin turned to the other Titans. He thought about asking Starfire but she was just as bad with pushing buttons as BeastBoy was. And knowing Cyborg he probably added a numerous amount of pointless buttons the axe. So it was safe to say that he didn't ask her. So he turned his attention to Cyborg, the axe's creator.
"Don't look at me dog." Cyborg commented
"What? Why not?" Robin asked
"I spent valuable resources building this thing and I think I'm exempt for actually using it. Besides, my 'baby' needs a tuning."
"But..." Robin began
But, it was too late. Cyborg was already out of the door, whistling Dixie. The axe now lying gracefully on the table. With its creator gone Robin turned to none other than Raven, who (like stated above) could care less.
"Raven?" he asked, his leadership role starting to surface
"What?" she asked, even though she knew full well what he was going to ask
"Since I don't trust BeastBoy with this axe and I don't want any unnecessary trips the infirmary, by unaminous decision I declare you the demonstrator of this exercise." he replied
"Goodie." she quipped, her disdain for this moment evident
"Okay then Raven. Just take the axe and take down the false door in the fewest number of swings as you can." Robin explained
Raven sighed, knowing there was no way out of this. She took the axe in hand, seeing that it was much heavier than it looked.
"Why Cyborg packs these things with so many useless accessories it beyond me." Raven muttered
She turned to face the false door, axe firmly in hand. She reeled back, putting weight on her back leg to support herself. Then just before she swung and annoying noise shot into her ears.
"Hey Raven!"
Raven was so shocked by the sudden outburst that she nearly lost her balance and nearlykilled whoever was behind her with the sharp implement. Turning ever so slowly, dangerously slow she turned to see the unlucky fool who surprised her.
"What BeastBoy?" she asked the unlucky fool
The unlucky fool responded "Maybe you should hold the axe at a different angle, ya know, for more a better impact." he suggested
She replied straight-forward "One, I do not need your help to break down a door, and two, why do you think you know how to skillfully break down a door?" she asked
"Duh...BeastBoy." he replied
It took Raven a moment to catch onto what he was implying. When she got it she almost agreed with his logic. He turned into a variety of animals that used their skulls in battle. And knowing BeastBoy, he had taken down more than his fair share of doors. But the thing was she almost agreed with his logic.
"Even though you're insight is appreciated, I will not be needing it." she told him before turning back to the door
Once again she pulled back; ready to take the door down. But once again the unlucky fool yelled in her ear.
"Hey Raven!"
"What BeastBoy?" she repeated, aggravated
"Ya know if ya come down like this, instead of this, then you'll probably get more 'oomph'." he told her, holding his hands up to show her his meaning
"Oomph?" she asked, appalled that he actually used that word
"Yeah, 'oomph'." he replied
"Like I've stated before BeastBoy, your advice is duly noted, but I will not be requiring it." she told him before turning back to the door, again
Once again she pulled back, determined to end this door's existence so that she could end this exercise and get back to her reading. But before she could break it down that unlucky fool bothered her yet again.
"Hey Raven!"
"What BeastBoy!" she seethed, trying her very best not to flip on him
"Maybe if ya put you're whole weight into the swing it'll be easier to take the door down. 'Cause ya know you got enough of it." he suggested
Now he only meant for that comment to mean that Raven had more weight than him because she was slightly taller than he was. Problem was it didn't come out that way. Now what Raven thought was that BeastBoy had insulted her weight. Now if there is one thing you do not do is insult a woman's weight. That and the fact that he kept annoying her was the straw that broke the camels back. But instead of blowing up on him she took a deep breath, turned to him and said...
"So BeastBoy? I should hold the axe at this angle, correct?" she asked, showing him
He nodded his head.
"And I should come down like this, correct?" she asked, showing him, and bring the axe dangerously close to his head
He nodded his head, oblivious.
"And if I put my entire weight into the swing it will be easier to take it down, correct?" she asked, positioning herself
"Yep, should be a snap to take the door down." he replied
"Who said anything about the door?" she posed
"Dude? What are you talking about?"
"Hold still." she told him
BeastBoy didn't realize what Raven was talking about until he saw the evil, toothy grin spread across her face. You know, the 'I'm a crazed axe murderer and you're my next victim' smile. And Raven did have an axe, and BeastBoy was a victim, and she might murder.
"Raven?" Robin asked warily
Down in the garage, Cyborg was happily tuning his 'baby' when he heard a scream,a scream of bloody murder. In a few seconds a terrified BeastBoy exploded into the garage, his face so pale that it rivaled Raven's.
"HELP! SHE'S GONE CRAZY!" he shrieked, clinging to Cyborg for dear life.
Not even the Jaws of Life would have been able pry him from Cyborg's arm.
"What is the matter B?" he asked, annoyed that the horrified BeastBoy would not let go
His question was answered when he saw Raven holding his axe, an evil smile on her face.
"Cyborg, I suggest that you leave quickly if you do not want to share BeastBoy's fate." she told him rather calmly
You didn't have to tell him twice. Quickly pushing a series of buttons on his arm, said arm popped off and landed on the ground, BeastBoy along with it. Then Cyborg lunged into his 'baby', started the ignition, and with one hand sped out of the garage and to anywhere but the T-Tower at the moment. The sound of tires screeching against the concrete were the final sounds of Cyborg's departure. With that little distraction gone Raven turned back to BeastBoy who had yet to release his grip on Cyborg's forlorn arm.
"Now, where were we?" Raven asked
With her hood down up, casting most of her face in shadow, and the axe in hand she strangely resembled the Grim Reaper. In a desperate attempt to live he took Cyborg's arm and started to wave it in front of her like a sword.
"I have Cyborg's arm, and I know how to use it!" he warned, waving it pathetically
Raven almost felt bad for his pathetic attempt at defense, the key word being almost. With a wave of her hand she flung the dejected appendage into a far corner of the garage. His only defense against the seemingly calm girl that had gone deranged, clanging against a series of tools.
"Any last words?" she asked, holding the axe in his suggested manner
"Can ya make it quick and painless?" he asked pitifully
"No." she replied before bring the weapon down.
Sorry it took so long for another update. I've had a bad case of writers block, but this idea came to me today so I wrote it down before I forgot. So please read and review, and maybe give me a couple of ideas.